We keep walking, tossing sticks in between our muted footsteps. The leaves smothering the ground are a dirty, mushy blanket atop the dying grass. Squish. Squish. Squish. Zap!
While trying to decide on another seemingly innocuous topic, I remember I’ve still never told Lucas how my necklace looks like the Wardens’ scars. I’m scared he’ll see what I see—another link between us and the Others. Then again, we’re never going to learn anything if we’re too scared to see the truth. Squish. Squish. Squish. Zap!
“Lucas, have you ever noticed the raised red marks on the Others’ necks, below their left ears?”
He gives me an odd look. “No. I’ve never looked at them for more than a second.”
Squish. Squish. Squish. Zap! “Oh. Yeah, I hadn’t either until the Gathering. Then, while they were trying to refresh me I got a pretty good look.”
“And?”
I chew on the tip of my index finger. “And the scar is shaped like my necklace. A star with only four points.”
“What do you think it means?”
Squish. Squish. Squish. Tink!
We stop short at the new sound, conversation forgotten as we stare like idiots at the intact stick lying beneath the fence.
Lucas throws another. Tink!
This time we’re watching and nothing happens. The small, brittle piece of wood hits the metal and bounces off, landing on a bed of leaves near the first stick. I run my eyes along the area, searching for cameras while pretending to peer at the clouds. The nearest one on the fence is about thirty yards from where we stand, and pointed straight inward. We’re not in its line of sight.
Hesitant but growing bolder with each step, Lucas approaches the boundary. He puts out a hand, ready to touch it where the sticks did. I suck in a breath, loud enough to be heard, but he doesn’t pay any attention. Part of me wants to stop him, but we have to get out. Even though I touched the fence a couple of weeks ago, my short fingernails dig into my palms as Lucas’s fingers creep closer and closer to the entwined metal, finally wrapping around the section in front of him.
He doesn’t disintegrate. My breath blows out in a huge gush of relief. Lucas backs up a little and stares at the boundary, surprised.
“The Ko woman said it takes an hour to get to the collection center. We’ll have to go soon.”
“Tonight, Althea. We only have two more days. I’ll meet you on the back porch at eleven.”
“Let’s go back. It’s cold.”
Lucas grins, snatching my hand and rubbing it between his. As though that will warm me up. “You could start a fire. Have you been practicing?”
“No, I haven’t had the chance.” I change the subject. “We should both bring a flashlight tonight.”
We stumble on Deshi as we pass the playground equipment near the front of the park. The look on his face irritates me more than usual; he’s smirking as though he’s pleased with himself. It reminds me of the night he hurt the young Other, and I’m frightened to know what’s brought it on this morning. The way he shows up unexpectedly has always put me on edge, worries me he’s eavesdropping. Whether he’s like us, or like the Others, Lucas is right—he’s not trustworthy.
“Hey, guys, what’s going on?”
Lucas answers in a cool, collected voice, slipping an arm around my back. “Nothing, really. Taking a walk, that’s all.”
Deshi snorts, glancing pointedly at my fingers tucked inside my sleeves. His sideways remarks about my comfort level in the cold make me think he knows something. Perhaps he’s trying to figure out if we’re like him.
“Can I walk a little ways with you?”
It’s not as though we have a choice, so the three of us step out onto the sidewalk. The silence isn’t comfortable with Deshi on my left; in fact, it presses down from all directions and deadens my limbs more than the cold.
We make it a few blocks before Deshi smiles wider. “So, you guys have interviews soon, huh? Are you nervous?”
I smile back, and slip into my best blank gaze and lifeless tone of voice even though sweat heats my body under my clothes. “No, why would we be?”
Deshi stops walking; we’ve reached our street. “No reason. It’s exciting is all. It’s going to be a day you’ll never forget.”
CHAPTER 22.
The Warden passes under the streetlight and I swear he looks right at me in my window seat before he keeps walking.
Lucas waits out back like he promised. I step out onto the porch, tugging my coat tight around me as the bitter wind whips down the block and blows my hair around my face. Pulling it up into a ponytail would’ve taken less than a minute. Now it’s going to drive me banana balls all night.
Leaving it down is almost worth it when Lucas lights up, grabbing my hand. “You look pretty. I can smell the jasmine better when your hair is down. The breeze blows it around, and…” He trails off, embarrassed or out of words, it’s hard to tell which.
I rescue him. “Breeze? Feels more like a gale.”
“Really?” He lifts his face into the bracing wind. “I think it feels nice.”
Patrolling Wardens and bright lights make using the streets hazardous, so we stick to backyards until we dart through the park entrance. Once we leave the playground there are no lights, and stifling darkness presses in. I want to turn on my flashlight, but Lucas stays my hand.
“Not yet. Not until we get out.”
My eyes adjust within a few minutes. We make our way to the dead section of the fence in good time. Lucas marked it earlier with a small strip of fabric torn from the inside of my coat. He tests the spot again and we get the same nonreaction.
Lucas turns, lifting an eyebrow. His eyes sparkle, teasing me. My heart skips a couple of beats and I think I manage a smile back, but who knows? His lips move and I try to focus on his words.
“You want to go first?”
“You go ahead. I’ve done it.”
“Show-off.”
Lucas tosses his flashlight and backpack over, looking suspiciously like he might be enjoying this little adventure. His strong hands grip the metal and nothing happens. Wedging a toe in between the wires, he hoists his full weight onto the fence and starts to climb. I chew on a finger, frightened the Wardens or Deshi are going to stumble upon us at any moment. Lucas’s tree-climbing experience comes in handy as he ascends the twenty feet or so with graceful speed.
Climbing is as unnatural for me now as it was the first time, and violent shakes attack my limbs by the time I sling a leg over the top and start making my way down. When I get within a reasonable distance of the ground, I release my grip and drop the remaining few feet onto the muddy earth. Lucas’s arms steady me, hold me up when my knees go weak. My face is inches from his, our breath mixing in frosty white clouds.
The heat inside me starts at unbearable and climbs upward. I’m breathing too hard, as much from this moment as from the chore of scaling the boundary.
He stares into my eyes and his brow furrows. “Althea, can I kiss you?”
My head refuses to take the order to nod, frozen in shock and fear. Not the kind of fear that pounds inside me at the thought of the Others, but an exhilarating sort. Never mind that we’re standing out in the open, that we just crossed a forbidden boundary. I lick my lips and answer in a throaty whisper. “Yes.”
I can’t believe I said it. I can’t believe this is happening, or how badly I want it. He better do it soon, because I’m about to break into pieces from sheer expectation. His arms tighten as they pull me against his chest, and he bends his beautiful face to mine. When our lips touch the intensity rockets out of my body and spins around in a mad swirl. The dizziness makes me clutch him tighter.
His lips are cool, refreshing against my red-hot ones. The kiss deepens, my lips parting just a bit as my head shifts to one side and my arms snake around his neck. It seems to have lasted for hours, but at the same time it’s over so fast. Our foreheads press together as we gasp for breath. When my eyes open, they meet Lucas’s. After a second of
bemused staring, he smiles and my muscles relax.
“We should go.”
My entire body has the shakes, and just supporting my own weight makes black spots dance in front of my eyes. My mind slogs through dark, cloudy pools and my voice sounds far away. “I don’t know if I can walk three steps, never mind an hour.”
The words slip out, and it isn’t until afterward that I realize honesty might be overrated in this particular situation.
He raises an eyebrow. “That good, huh?”
I whack his arm and stalk past him, then stop at the sight of the endless blackness. My trepidation at being outside the boundary crashes back into my consciousness. We flick on our flashlights once we enter the trees.
Lucas snorts as I shrink closer to him. “Baby.”
In spite of his teasing tone, he slides his hand into mine and holds tight.
We set off in the direction the sun sets, like the woman said. The peace of the Wilds is harder to find in the pitch black. There are too many shadows, too many places where animals bigger than a squirrel could hide.
We’ve been walking a long time when a rustling stops us in our tracks. My entire body freezes as a pair of soft, fearful eyes emerge from the blackness. My fingernails dig into Lucas’s arm. He grunts at the pain and follows my gaze.
“Oh. It’s a deer, Althea.”
He whispers, as though he doesn’t want to frighten her away, voice full of awed wonder.
It’s a girl, I think, because it doesn’t have antlers. Her breath escapes in nervous puffs, and her ears twitch. Finding us out here is probably not part of her evening plans. Though she stands still, muscles ripple under her velvety-looking skin. She looks ready to run. A sudden surge of envy that she can run stutters through me. She’s not trapped. Only her fear and uncertainty hold her in place.
I wish that were true of me. Then again, maybe it is.
“I know what it is, Lucas.” I try to capture his annoying tone. “The question is, what are we going to do about it?”
In answer, he reaches a hand around his back and unzips the front pocket of his backpack; he brought water, snacks, and extra blankets for me.
The soft noise of the zipper startles the deer and for a second I think she’s going to bolt, but all four hooves stay rooted to the spot and her nose twitches. Lucas draws a small, clear plastic box out of his bag; vegetables roll around inside it. He grins, puts a finger to his lips, and takes a small step forward.
Urgency creeps into my answering whisper. “What are you doing?”
He steps closer to the deer without responding, fingers working a carrot out of the container. The air in my lungs starts to burn. I force it out in a silent exhale.
The deer behaves the opposite of how we’ve been led to believe. She’s timid and unsure, her initial instinct clearly flight. Nothing about her posture suggests violence or disease. She’s beautiful, in fact, from the tip of her nose to her fringed white tail.
Lucas extends a hand with the carrot on his palm and the beam of light projected from my flashlight jumps up and down. Against her better judgment, the deer reaches her nose out and sniffs the air. Her lips start forward, then back off. Forward and back. Lucas trembles with the effort of holding still. He gasps when she snatches the carrot from him, pulling out another and holding on to it this time as she nibbles. His grin is infectious.
“Come here, Althea. Don’t be scared of her.”
Wonder blooms in my belly, and the joy on his face brings me closer to the animal. I go slowly, sensing her hesitance, until I stand next to Lucas. He hands me a carrot and I cup it, stretching my arm out until my open palm sneaks under her face. She could bite my hands off, but I don’t think she will.
Breath fills up my lungs and I hold it there, standing like a statue as her kind face dips down. The air whooshes out as her lips whisk the carrot out of my hands. She’s so perfect, so utterly pure. My heart feels ripped open; the stitches I used to close it up when I left Portland and the only semblance of an actual family I ever knew are busted and gone. This animal, with no effort at all, makes me care again. Makes me feel alive and a solid part of the world, instead of like a stranger shimmering on its edges.
In this instant, I think I understand the real reason the Others separate us from the animals.
Lucas shatters the moment when he extends a hand to touch her side. At the first feel of his fingertips on her flank she pulls back, carrot forgotten as it falls to the earth. Her eyes flick in fear and she bounds away, tail disappearing into the trees before either of us utters a sound. Lucas turns back, his eyes moist. “She was so soft. Scared of us, though. Wonder why.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why not? Did she look violent to you? Or like a million germs crawled over her?” His defensive tone raises my hackles.
“No. I meant scare her. You shouldn’t have tried to touch her without…”
“What? Without her permission?” He quirks a smile my direction.
“No. I was going to say until she was comfortable.”
“So, what do you think now, about the animals?”
I consider as we continue deeper into the trees, offering a smile of reconciliation. The answer is nothing the Others have ever told us. “I love her, and I love it out here.” A sad sort of loss sweeps through me. I’ll never see her again. “But deer eat plants, you know, not people.”
He laughs; the sound relaxes me even more. I check my watch after a few more minutes and am startled to see we’ve been moving for well over an hour. We emerge from the thick trees and stare not at the collection center, but at the park boundary. We went in a circle.
“Well, that didn’t work.” Lucas’s wry tone makes me laugh.
“We’re going to have to try again tomorrow.”
A huge oak tree to our left has a triangular cutout near its base, almost like a little cave. Lucas kneels and unloads the contents of his backpack, shoving them into the hole.
“What’re you doing that for?”
“Easier than sneaking them back out tomorrow, right?”
The walk home is slow; for once we have plenty of time. Neither of us talks, and my mind wanders back over the horrors of our recent lives, irritation at missing a chance to talk to the woman depressing me. We hide in the trees as a Warden passes by in front of our houses on his 2 a.m. patrol.
When the coast is clear Lucas catches my lips with his, surprising me, then turns and sprints inside. I follow his lead and drag myself up to bed.
***
The next morning a funny feeling captures me and holds me tight in its clutches. The past several days contain both infuriating and wonderful memories. They jumble inside me, resulting in nausea more than anything. The odd mood persists through breakfast and follows me out the front door. Lucas waits on the sidewalk in front of the house in between ours, his smile a little awkward. It hasn’t dawned on me to feel weird about kissing last night. He sort of looks like he feels weird though.
“Hey.” Lucas pecks my cheek, sounding normal.
We make small talk on the way to Cell, avoiding a rehash of our failed attempt last night. A heaviness settles over me as we part ways for our morning blocks.
Deshi, looking and smelling like a corpse, accosts Lucas at lunch so they sit alone instead of with us girls. I can’t say this upsets me, but it makes me nervous for Lucas. He acts pleasant and chatters away to Deshi during the period. The performance looks good from here.
In chemistry, the Monitor appears on the screen and calls our attention to her lesson. It might be possible for my Cellmates to focus, but for me it’s out of the question. All I can think about is how little time we have left to figure out what we’re going to do alone in a room with a Warden.
After block, Lucas leans over to whisper in my ear, his cool breath tickling my neck. Tingles work their way up and down my body, delicious and long lasting.
“I have to use the wasteroom. Meet you out front.”
I imagine
turning my head toward him, our mouths touching. My eyes close and I lick my lips, nodding my understanding. He lingers a moment, breath skimming loose strands of my hair against my skin. We’re frozen. Like we’re stuck together, each unable to move. Lucas finally straightens up, but when our eyes meet his tell me moving wasn’t easy for him either. His lips tip up, making my heart go even faster. He has to get out of here before I die. This day has been hard enough on my heart and my nerves without him smiling at me like that.
My way out of the Cell is unobstructed with no Deshi to intercept me. Come to think of it, except for at lunch today, I’ve barely seen him around lately. I bounce from one foot to the other, having trouble standing still while there’s so much to figure out. A few minutes later Lucas strides toward me, his face ashen. Terror melts out him and puddles in my queasy stomach. “What happened to you?”
He doesn’t answer. “Just walk.”
It takes an eternity to walk beyond Cell grounds. My knees tremble hard by the time we leave everyone behind. Lucas stops walking and bends over, putting his hands on his knees and gasping.
“Lucas. Lucas! You’re scaring me. Tell me what happened.”
“I saw something.” He stops, swallowing hard before he continues. “I was using the wasteroom like I told you, and Deshi came in while I was in the stall. I knew it was him because of his death cologne. It’s nauseating, worse than the last time we smelled it. Much worse.”
“And?”
“I stood on the disposal so he couldn’t see my feet. I don’t know why. So he did his business and went out to disinfect his hands and I peered out through the crack in the door. His face—” Lucas stops, paling further at the memory.
Patience isn’t easy right now, but he rewards mine by picking up the story again when he’s ready.
“The reflection in the mirror wasn’t his face. It was an Other. Deshi’s an Other.”
Dark Roses: Eight Paranormal Romance Novels Page 47
