Demons and Other Inconveniences

by Dan Dillard

  *****

  The next morning I ate cereal with Kevin who—no matter how early I got up–always beat me. We were ready to head out the door at 7:33am against Mom’s protest.

  “Mom,” Kevin reasoned, “we get better fishing worms if we go early, while the grass is all dewy.”

  “When’s the last time you went fishing? Where is there even a place to go fishing?” she said, but we darted out the side door, not giving her the chance to argue or change her mind. I heard her say, “Have fun and be careful,” just before the latch caught.

  I knew Kevin wouldn’t speak about what had happened until the whole group was back together. It was in his code to do things right the first time. Also, it alleviated having to repeat the story more than once or letting it get passed on, telephone style, from kid to kid.

  As soon as we reached our front yard, Erin was waiting at the end of the driveway on her bike. “I wasn’t about to let you get there first and spill the goods without me,” she said. Her look was scolding, arms crossed, straddling the bike like a tiny Hell’s Angel.

  “Come on. We weren’t gonna start without you,” I said.

  She rolled her eyes, stuck her tongue out at me and then rolled them again in the silly way only a ten-year-old can. I laughed and rolled my eyes at my brother who rolled back. The giggle broke the tension.

  We arrived at Jason and Adam’s house within thirty seconds and knocked on the door.

  “A little early isn’t it?” their father asked when he answered the door. He was bald on top, wore a white shirt, buttoned to the top with a tie and dress pants, ready for work. In one hand, he held a cup of coffee, and he was still chewing breakfast.

  “The boys aren’t even awake yet, kids. Come back in an hour, I’m sure they’ll be up by then,” he said, looking a little annoyed.

  “But it’s really important, sir!” I said. The words came out of my mouth before I could reel them back in. It shocked me as I never talked back, even when it was really important. He leered at me and I could see an impending Walker rant coming. He was famous for them, even with other people’s kids.

  “And in an hour it will still be really import...”

  Jason interrupted, yawning in the background. “It’s cool, dad, I’m up. Guys, meet me and Adam in the clubhouse in ten minutes, Kevin knows how to get in.” His dad sighed and slammed the door.

  Now, a clubhouse meeting meant the news was huge. No one went in the clubhouse but Jason and Kevin. Not since they built the thing. It was Playboy magazine important. It was first kiss or better yet, second base important. We wandered off into their backyard and jumped the fence.

  Jason’s clubhouse was actually a tree fort built to incredible proportions in an old oak that grew behind their fence. Most of it hung over their property, but access could only be gained from the opposite side of the fence. There was an escape rope which allowed you to climb down into the back yard—I’d seen it—but it dropped from inside the fort and was then tossed back up, out of reach. Ingenious. 

  After squeezing through the fence, Kevin pulled a cord and a rope ladder fell on the back side of the tree. He then monkeyed up to the entry door which was padlocked with not one, but two different combination locks. He didn’t give us either combination. Brilliant.

  There was a faded orange and black sign stapled to the door.

  PRIVATE PROPERTY, KEEP OUT

  Awesome.

  Kevin made quick work of the first padlock, but had to try the second one twice before it clicked. He opened the simple plywood door and there it was—their secret hideout. Through he went, and called us up. We scrambled eagerly, Erin first, and then me.

  The walls were painted on the inside in four or five different colors of whatever his dad had leftover in the garage. Pinned on them were pictures of swimsuit models, football players and even some comic book covers. The floor was covered by a dingy carpet remnant, and on that sat a few milk crates for seating. In the center, there was a wooden cable spool for a table. Lights were provided via an extension cord, and there was a radio for tunes. Two openings served as windows with hinged wooden doors. Kevin propped them open and a slight, cool breeze blew through, airing out the musty smell. I was beside myself in all the grandeur. It was truly…

  Glorious.

  Erin and I looked around, taking it all in. Kevin stared at his feet, then turned on the radio, but kept its volume low. We waited, not looking directly at one another, and no one dared speak. What was probably five minutes seemed like an eternity. Finally, Jason busted in the door with Adam close behind. Adam gawked for a minute.

  “Sit down, you tool,” Jason said to him.

  Adam did as he was told and for another minute, we sat quietly, the fort thick with tension.

  “What happened?” I asked, “Now that we’re all here, I got to know.”

  The older boys exchanged an uneasy glance, then Jason nodded to Kevin, giving him the go ahead to begin. Kevin steadied himself on the milk crate and leaned forward. The boards in the treehouse creaked. He gestured with his hands as he spoke and his eyes were wild.

  “After you guys told us he was coming, we walked over to the van and he was getting out, you know?”

  We nodded for him to continue, riveted and listening intently.

  “His name is Rollie, like that city in North Carolina,” Kevin said.

  “Or that baseball player with the weird mustache?” I asked.

  “Yeah, just like that. Anyway, he knew we were coming. He said so,” Kevin said.

  He put on his best southern accent to drive the point home. “‘I knew you boys was comin’ to talk to me, ask me questions about the crazy lady in this house,’ is what he said. Then he looked up at us and laughed. We stood tough though, and we asked him, What about her? What do you know? Is she crazy?”

  Jason let out an uneasy laugh, more of a snort, and I glanced at him for a second before my eyes went back to Kevin.

  “‘Then he said all mean-like, ‘That woman could be my momma, and you boys are callin’ her crazy. Is that how your folks raised y’all?’”

  Erin giggled, presumably at Kevin’s acting, and I elbowed her.

  “Quit,” I whispered.

  “‘Truth is I never met her myself. I get a call from my company says go here and cut. So there I go. She don’t pay me. Might pay them, but don’t pay me, so I don’t care much to talk to her. I drop a receipt through the mail slot time to time. That’s all.’ Then he looked up at the house and goes, ‘Hey there’s Ms. Stubbins now! I’ll be done here in a few minutes, ma’am.’ And that’s when he waved.” Kevin paused and he opened his eyes and mouth as wide as he could, for shock value. “That’s when we turned around to look and she was standing there, leering at us with that old, bony finger pointing. I thought we were gonna die.”

  The hair on the back of my neck was fully at attention. Kevin’s gaze fixed on the far wall, and he was gone from this world for a minute. Jason’s face reddened and then he surprised us all.

  “I pissed myself I was so scared,” he said.

  No one laughed. Not even Adam. Kevin snapped out of his trance.

  He said, “She was standing there lookin’ at us with her hand out all creepy and then she pointed and screamed like a banshee. Just pointing. I’d swear her teeth were pointy just like that shark in Jaws—I could see ‘em from the sidewalk! That’s when we ran. She screamed that horrible scream and we ran.”

  “What’s a banshee?” Adam asked.

  “A ghost,” Erin said, her eyes bulging from their sockets. “A bad one.”

  Adam nodded and Jason continued. “Suggs was chuckling at us. Laughing, the bastard.”

  His cheeks were red, but I wouldn’t have done any better and I admired for admitting he’d pissed his pants. It was the first time I’d ever looked up to him.

  “That was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve read a truckload of Tales From the Crypt comics. I’m never goin’ back to that house again,” Ke
vin said. “Maybe her family’ll come and take her away or something. Or she’ll get committed to a hospital.”

  Jason shook his head and added, “That’ll never happen. I think she’s after us now.” That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I was already having nightmares where the old hag crawled through my window with the intention of eating me and then picking her shark’s teeth with my bone splinters. Coming from my older brother, it was a crushing blow. If he was scared, and she made Jason-the-football-star piss his own pants, what chance did a little kid have? We’d be easy pickings.

  Erin was quiet like she was thinking, and Adam was just Adam. We sat that way until the breeze picked up outside. The fresh air through the windows jolted me. It must have jolted Erin, too.

  “We need a plan. She never came out until you were on her property. So if we just stay off her property, we’ll be safe, right? She’s old. Crazy or not, she’s old and she won’t leave that place to look for us,” Erin said.

  “She doesn’t have to look. She’s lived here since before any of us were born, she knows where to find us if she wanted to,” Jason said.

  Erin stayed calculated and calm. “We still need a plan,” she said.

  “What plan?” I said. “What can we do?”

  “We keep an eye on her,” she said. “We make sure if she does leave, we know about it and we make sure to let everyone else know. We can take turns watching the house and if she comes slithering out, we’ll call the rest on walkie-talkie or the telephone and warn them.”

  Everyone agreed that was a good idea. It was our first pact. There would be more.