Finding My Faith

by Carly Fall

  He rushed to the bed and sat down next to her.

  “Faith,” he said, trying to mask the panic in his voice.

  Her eyes flickered open, and a weak smile came over her face. “Rayner,” she said, her voice raspy, “I'm so glad to see you.” She put her ghostly hand over his, encompassing it in a light fog.

  He looked at her and knew what was coming. He wanted to say so many things, but couldn't find the words or his voice.

  “Rayner,” she whispered, “I'm dying.”

  He shook his head before the words were even out of her mouth. “No,” he said strongly. “You need to hold on.”

  She shut her eyes again. “I don't think I can, Rayner.”

  “No. You have to. I'm so close to finding you. That's why I came to see you. To tell you that.”

  She smiled slightly. “Rayner, I don't think—”

  He quickly stood up from the bed. “You listen to me, Faith. You give me until midnight tonight. Do you understand? Midnight. You hold tight and don't go anywhere until then. I'm going to fucking find your body. We're getting you back into the damn thing. Do you understand?” Jesus, he was practically yelling at her.

  She opened her eyes slowly. “I'll do my best,” she said quietly.

  He went down on his haunches so his face was just inches from her ghostly form. “Don't you dare do your best,” he hissed, desperation lacing his voice. “You just fucking do it, Faith.” Her brown eyes stared up at him, and after a minute, his bluster gone, he whispered, “Don't you dare leave me now, Faith. Don't you fucking dare."

  She gave him a weak smile. “I wish I could touch you,” she whispered.

  He wished he could touch her as well. So badly his heart ached. “Please, just hang on. Please.”

  She closed her eyes and nodded. “I can for a while, Rayner, but whatever you need to do has to happen fast.”

  He felt the heat of anger replace the desperation. He stood to his full height. “You promised me midnight, Faith. Don't break your promises.” And with that, he was out the door.

  He ran for the Hummer and got in, his breath coming in short spurts. It wasn't from the exertion of the run though; it was from the stark fear clamping down on his chest. His mind began to fragment, a million thoughts—seemingly all of a different nature—spun through his mind. He had to focus. He had to concentrate on the best, most effective, fastest way to find Faith. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself.

  If his gut was right, she was somewhere within those buildings he had pinpointed on the map. He didn't want to go into those buildings blind, especially facing a Colonist. He needed to be prepared. He needed some building layouts.

  He picked up his phone and debated whom to call. Noah would most likely shoot him down. He could call Talin and tell him Noah had okayed the breach that would be involved in getting the building plans, but then there would be a fucking boatload of shit to pay when Noah found out.

  Better just to go to the top and tell Noah what was needed. He took a deep breath and said a prayer to any and every god out there that the call went as he wanted.

  After Rayner calmly explained his theory of where the girls were being held to Noah, he said, “I want the building plans to every one of those buildings within two blocks. Once we have them, we go in and do a top-to-bottom search. I'm certain the women are there somewhere, and we're sure as shit going to find her. Them, I mean, them.” Yeah. That's right. This wasn't just about Faith.

  There wasn't any hesitation, just a “No.”

  Rayner felt like his molars were going to splinter. He was trying really hard to remain reasonable and calm, but his insides, as well as Noah, were working against him. If there was one thing he hated it was being told no.

  “Why not?”

  “If you got caught, we're fucked. It's B&E, Rayner. There's no probable cause, unless you want to tell them that you're in touch with a fucking ghost. I'm sure that will change their minds.”

  Rayner closed his eyes, trying like hell to ignore the sarcasm and not to put his head through the windshield. He was glad he wasn't face-to-face with Noah, because he was certain he would haul off and hit him. Where had that peaceful Forest Dweller in him gone? He was nothing but warrior now, and frankly he was scaring himself with his violent thoughts. No, scratch that. He was all warrior and SR44 male, and the female he loved was in trouble. This didn't bode well for anyone.

  “We won't get caught,” he said with a calm he didn't feel. “Cohen, Hudson, and I will do the dirty work. The police don't even have to know what we're doing.”

  “No. If you do get caught and you're in the pokey when the sun goes down, shit is going to go nuclear critical, Rayner. Think secret government facilities scooping out your eyeballs to study why they glow at night. I'm not putting any of you in that potential position.”

  Rayner closed his eyes again and rubbed his forehead, running his hand through his blond hair, feeling as though frustration was going to blow his eyes out the front of his head. Then he remembered the contacts that Talin invented that were so uncomfortable and such a pain in the ass to wear—none of the Warriors wore them except for extreme circumstances.

  “We'll wear the contacts. No one will ever know. You're being unreasonable, Noah,” Rayner said, hearing the strain in his own voice.

  “No, I'm not, Rayner,” Noah said quietly. “You are.”

  Rayner stayed quiet for a moment and knew that he had to level with Noah. It was difficult because he could barely level with himself.

  He took a deep breath before he spoke. “What if it was Abby in there, Noah? What if Abby had been taken by another Colonist, and you knew where she was? What would you do?”

  Noah went silent, but Rayner could feel the blast of anger and heat on the other end of the phone. “Why in the fuck are you bringing Abby into this?” Noah hissed.

  Rayner didn't answer, but pressed on. Again he was glad he wasn't in the same room with Noah because if he were, Noah would certainly beat the shit out of him for bringing Abby into the conversation. Abby had almost died at the hands of a Colonist, and Rayner knew putting Abby and a Colonist in the same thought structure made Noah crazy. He wanted to keep her as far away from his work as possible.

  “What if it was her, Noah? What if you knew she was in one of those buildings? Not guessed, but fucking knew? What would you do?”

  He heard Noah doing his heavy breathing that signaled Rayner had gone too far, and Noah was most likely thinking along the same lines as Rayner—he was just happy they weren't in the same room together.

  “Abby's my mate, Rayner,” Noah said in a quiet, foreboding tone.

  “And what if Faith's mine?” Rayner countered, surprised at his own thought processes. Christ. Faith as his mate? What the hell was he thinking?

  There was a long stretch of silence.

  “Are you fucking kidding me, Rayner? The ghost you've been meeting? You're considering making her your mate? How's that going to work?”

  Rayner opened his eyes and looked out at the street. “I don't know, Noah. I don't understand anything that's going on, I don't know anything right now...but the one thing I do know is that I want the building plans by the time I get back to the silo.” He paused for a moment and then added, “Please.” He hung up, shoved the key into the ignition and took off, speed limits be damned, glad he had remembered to say please. He doubted good manners would sway Noah's decision either way, but he might as well cover all his bases.

  Back at the silo forty-five minutes later, Hudson and Cohen were waiting for him in the kitchen. Both stood with their arms crossed at their chests, both leaning against opposite counters. Rayner noted that they were dressed for war. Hudson had changed out of his silks and linens into camo pants, a black t-shirt and black combat boots, Cohen fully clothed in black. They looked terribly out of place among the shiny silver Viking appliances and tidy black granite countertops. The combo of death and luxury wouldn't win any awards at a home decorating show.

  Ra
yner figured they were dressed to try and stop him. If so, they were very smart to change into their fighting clothes because if they got in his way, there would be some blood spilled, and he knew how much Hudson hated blood on his silks.

  Logically, he knew going after Faith like this was a stupid idea. He might actually win a medal for this one if they ever handed out awards for stupid ideas. But logic seemed to have abandoned him the first time he’d laid eyes on her. It was simply nowhere to be found. It was something that his mind could recall possessing at a previous time. He remembered the feeling: logic equaled a sequence of events that eventually led to a given answer. Yeah, he didn't have any of that going on right now. Logic had totally jumped ship and abandoned him.

  “What's up, my man?” Cohen asked as Rayner briefly stopped in the kitchen before making his way to the War Room.

  “I'm going into those buildings,” Rayner bit out and continued to the War Room, worried about the hell he would unleash if those building plans weren't in there. Noah had tried to call a few times on Rayner's way back to the silo, but he didn't answer. There simply wasn't anything left to say. He noticed Hudson and Cohen on his tail and figured Noah had told them to cage him and make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

  “If you're trying to talk me out of it, you can both fuck off. If you think you're going to physically stop me, think again. I'm going.”

  They continued to follow him, and Rayner felt the muscles in his neck and shoulders tighten, ready to fight. If those plans weren't there, or if they were going to try to stop him once they had him trapped in the War Room, he would destroy…

  When he entered the War Room he was greeted by a floor plan up on the big screen. He looked behind him where Hudson and Cohen were standing in the doorway.

  “We've already studied them,” Hudson said in his quiet, stoic voice. “You just need to get up to speed. We'll get a plan of who goes where, and then we're out of here. We're going to get her, Rayner.”

  Rayner wasn't sure what to say. He thought he would be going in blind, that he wouldn't have any backup, that he would be a lone warrior. He felt his bluster slowly leaking out of him, leaving him with something close to rationality. He looked at his two friends, his two fellow Warriors. Suddenly the mission had changed for all of them. In the beginning it had been about finding that Colonist, and using Faith to do so. Finding the rest of the women would have been a potential bonus prize.

  But now it was all about Faith. The Colonist was now the cherry on the top of the cake, or maybe even the prize at the end of another game to be played at another time, another place.

  Rayner turned back to the screen, seriously touched by Hudson and Cohen's willingness to stand behind him. He couldn't express it though. Hopefully they knew that their readiness to follow him into a very dangerous situation meant a lot. It wasn't just dangerous because of that Colonist; they were breaking a lot of human laws and could face dire consequences. They would simply have to work together as a team and make sure that didn't happen.

  He committed the layout of the building to memory. He thought for sure Cohen and Hudson would scoff at him and his laser focus on Faith. A little voice in the back of his head told him that even if he found her body, chances were pretty good he wouldn't be able to get her spirit back in her. He might have gone and fallen in love with her, but he was certain she didn't love him back. Maybe he could call her parents once her body was found and meet up with them somehow. Then all the criteria would be met: someone she loved and who loved her back would be present.

  “Thanks guys,” he said quietly. He walked over to the computer and hit the button for the next building layout.

  Good thing his memory was like a snapping bear trap, and he moved through the layouts quickly.

  Chapter 21

  They came up with the plan on the way into town. They would stick together as a team. If they ran into the Colonist, it would be best for a three-on-one fight versus a one-on-one if they were to split up. That way they could be certain the cocksucker was dead and injuries to them would be minimal.

  In all their time on Earth, one thing they had found was that if they acted like they were supposed to be somewhere, like they belonged in a certain situation, people rarely paid any attention to them. However, if they snuck around and acted like they didn't want to be caught, people were all over that. They had decided it best that Cohen wear a shirt and slacks and carry a clipboard, as if he were a building inspector or some other official. Hudson and Rayner would play the part of the construction guys tagging along.

  They hit the first building, which was an abandoned office building awaiting demolition so a shiny new one could be erected in its place. They made their way from floor to floor, puffs of dust rising with each footstep, running into a couple homeless guys and a cat dining on a mouse.

  The second building was a work in progress. They’d all agreed that it was doubtful the Colonist would be holed up there because of the likelihood of being discovered by construction workers, who had apparently bailed a little early. They did a quick search anyway just to make sure their bases were covered and found nothing interesting except a pile of blunts under a paint can Cohen had accidentally kicked over.

  “Looks like someone is getting high on the job,” Cohen said.

  “I'm sure it makes work much more enjoyable,” Hudson answered. “Between the weed and the paint fumes, my guess is the guy would be loving his job.”

  At the bottom floor they made their way to the door when Rayner noticed another door behind the partially finished stairwell. He remembered that this building had a basement.

  It opened to another set of stairs descending down into blackness.

  “Basement,” Hudson said quietly.

  Cohen flicked on the flashlight. “Let's check it out.”

  Ten minutes later they were back at street level onto the next building on their list. Nothing in the basement but wood, nails and other miscellaneous supplies.

  An hour later they had gone through two more buildings but came up with nothing. The sun was starting to make its decent, and they were at the end of their list.

  “Fuck,” Rayner hissed, his hands on his hips just outside the last building they’d searched. “I was certain I was right.”

  He looked at the sidewalk and felt dread coiling in his gut. He hadn't found Faith. He had broken his promise to her.

  “We need to get moving, Rayner,” Hudson said quietly. “The sun will be down shortly. We can't be lighting up on the streets of Phoenix.”

  Why they hadn't bothered to bring the contacts Talin invented that hid the glow of their eyes was beyond stupid. They had been in a hurry and weren't thinking about their eyes, but finding Faith.

  Rayner looked to the sky. He had to think. He couldn't let the fear take over. They had missed something somewhere, but he didn't know where. He knew he had to figure it out fast.

  They made their way to the car, Rayner going over each building in his mind, thinking about what they had seen, what they had done in each one. Shit, what had he overlooked?

  As he got into the backseat of the Hummer, the thought stopped him cold with one foot in the car, the other still planted on the sidewalk.

  “Basement,” he said quietly. The basement. But not the one they had gone down, but perhaps another one. “The first building,” he said. “The one with the homeless men and the cat. Do you guys remember the year on those building plans?”

  Both shook their heads.

  “The building was fucking old, right? I've studied a bit of architecture and building plans are sometimes drawn up years after the building was actually built. What if that's the case on that one? What if there's a basement that had somehow been closed off and never recorded in the plans?”

  Hudson and Cohen looked at each other, then back at Rayner.

  “It's worth another look,” Hudson said.

  “No stone unturned, etcetera,” Cohen said. “But we need to move. We have about a half hour, fort
y-five minutes if we're lucky before we start to glow.”

  Rayner nodded. “Let's do it. Quickly.”

  They made their way back to the other building with the time of twilight in the sky. When they came upon the building, they slipped inside and Rayner motioned them to stop. He closed his eyes to focus and listen, skills he hadn't had to use much lately. Well, not the way he had back in the forests of SR44. There, he had to listen and focus because his life depended on it. In the forest, they had to avoid the carnivorous animals. In order to keep away from those little bastards, the Forest Dwellers had to use all their senses.

  He heard nothing.

  And panic swirled in his gut.

  “Let's check it out,” Hudson said quietly, unsheathing the knife from his back.

  They went over the building again at a much slower pace this time, checking behind each door and looking for doors they might have missed their first go-through.

  They arrived back at the main entrance ten minutes later. “I think we're going to have to continue this tomorrow, Rayner,” Hudson said in a quiet voice. “Our eyes are going to light up within minutes. We need to get to the car ASAP.”

  Rayner nodded, defeat flowing through him. He had failed Faith. If she wasn't already dead, she would be soon.

  He crossed his arms and looked around the large room that had once been some type of vestibule. He studied the floor and found himself wondering which footprint impressions in the dust were his, Hudson's, and Cohen's. He felt an ache begin in the middle of his chest and spread outward slowly. It was like a weight—maybe something like a bus or truck—had been put on his chest and it was slowly crushing him. He was having trouble getting air into his lungs, and he stared at the floor concentrating on breathing. Jesus, the way he was feeling he might very well die of asphyxia right here and now. Kind of like those stories he read of people dying from spontaneous combustion. He was going to die of spontaneous asphyxiation. He knew the ache in his chest signaled his brain's knowledge that he was now an SR44 male without his female and it would take decades to recover from the loss. If he ever did.