by A. Nybo
Josh was a completely different proposition. He was gay. No doubt. He was picking up on everything I was throwing out there, but there was a caution about what he reacted to, as though he wanted to jump in but was holding back for some reason. I couldn’t figure out whether he was just wary of me or there was an underlying reason I was missing. Between them, they were seriously starting to rev my engine.
“What do you do for a crust, Dan?” I dug into my panini.
“Freelance graphic designer.”
“Maybe you could do a design of my life.”
His usually sparkling deep-set brown eyes took on a flat, lifeless sheen. “Three pieces: past, present, and future? Ocean colors?”
The speed with which he came up with an approach made me understand his boredom. He’d obviously heard that line more times than he cared to count. I determined not to be so predictable. “I was thinking more along the lines of the soundtrack to my life.”
He quirked his eyebrows, and the spark returned. He examined me and broke out into a broad grin. “Dark Side of the Moon already has an easily recognizable graphic.”
“You think I’m that conventional?”
“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with Pink Floyd.”
“I thought something more along the lines of ‘Bron-Y-Aur Stomp.’”
“Don’t know it.”
Josh froze before leveling a carefully crafted look of disdain at Dan. “Tell me you’re teasing him.”
“He can tease me anytime he likes,” I said.
Josh’s sly glance was accompanied with a smirk, but Dan didn’t notice.
“What? I’m not allowed to not know one of seven billion songs?” Dan asked.
“It is not just a song,” I assured him. “It’s a lifestyle.”
“Led Zeppelin? You have heard of them?” Josh teased.
The way Dan’s eyebrows steepled gave him that whole tortured-artist vibe. It made me want to run my fingers along them to smooth them out like it was an emotion I could ease.
“If it’s Zeppelin, I would know the song, just not the name of it,” he said. “Sing me a few lines.”
So I did.
Dan joined the singing, and the boy could hold a tune.
“All right, all right,” said Josh, “We’re in a café, not at a karaoke night.”
“No wonder I didn’t recognize the name of that song. I never could figure out how to pronounce it,” said Dan.
We talked about music, and I really enjoyed how much they were both into it. Dan was so dynamic when he spoke, it was beautiful to watch. He expressed emotion by degrees with the help of his eyebrows and their extensive range of motion. He only seemed relaxed when he laughed and all that suppressed emotion seemed to be released—or at least eased for that moment. I just wanted to touch him, taste him, and experience him.
And then there was Josh.
The dude was easy to look at with those bright blue eyes, sharp jaw, and shoulder-length black hair. He had that kind of lithe frame that shouted “fit and strong” without being showy. And that deep voice—it rumbled around, sending vibrations ricocheting through me. Sometimes he’d hit a note, and it was like I understood something entirely different from what he was saying. It was hot as hell.
Unlike Dan, Josh’s expressions gave nothing away except what he wanted to be seen, and I think this was partially to blame for my confusion. The dude had something buried deep that stopped him from taking me up on the openings I kept giving him. It didn’t take a genius to see he was into me, but he wasn’t giving it up yet. Maybe it was just small-town caution; after all, he had to live here like I did, and if it wasn’t for Dan, we wouldn’t have met each other quite as easily.
I had definitely noticed Josh around town and discreetly found out a bit about him, but he was a guarded bastard. While most people found him friendly enough, no one seemed to know much about him, which of course irritated the hell out of me, because I liked to stay informed about everyone I wanted to fuck, even if I decided not to chase them because they’re “townies.”
Oddly it was Josh that had invited me to go surfing to Three Bears, but I accepted because of Dan. I think that about put the whole weird situation in a nutshell. The two of them were like a parcel that had to be unwrapped together because separately it just wasn’t going work. But fucked if I knew what kind of parcel it was. If it was only sex, I’d do either one of them. Hell, I’d do ’em both, but whatever was in this parcel wasn’t just sex—if any at all. Gotta say, it had me intrigued.
Just before we parted ways, Josh asked if I wanted to rock around later for a barbecue. I jumped at the chance because I really liked to be around these two.
I took some beers and a potato salad, and drove out to their farmhouse. Josh didn’t say an exact time, and I would normally turn up for a barbie around six, but ridiculously, I was so eager to see them, I rocked up at five.
I knocked but wondered if they would hear me over Pete Murray, currently crooning from their stereo. I knocked again, and Josh came and opened the fly-screen door for me. He took the potato salad that balanced precariously on the top of the beers, just before it was about to nose-dive onto the veranda.
Going through to the kitchen, we put the salad and beers in the fridge—minus two, which we took with us—and went onto the sundeck out the back. “Wow, this is nice,” I said as I settled into a sun chair.
“Yeah, give it an hour or so and the kangaroos should come into the paddock.”
“They don’t mind Pete Murray?”
Josh’s grin warmed my libido nicely. “Nah, they have a broad musical appreciation. They even like some hard stuff. Well, I don’t know that they like it as much as endure it.”
“Fair call. I suppose it’s a bit difficult trying to figure out what they like and what they’re prepared to put up with for a feed of lush grass.”
We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, but my nosiness got the better of me. “How long have you been in Margs?”
“Two years. Came for the surf, liked it, so I stayed.”
“I don’t see you around much.”
He shrugged. “Typically I go three places—here, work, and surfing. So the only place we’re likely to run into each other is in the lineup—and that kind of depends on your favorite break.”
I wanted to ask what the deal was between him and Dan, but that was a bit personal for our relationship yet. I could’ve asked Dan, but I reckoned he was more likely to brush me off whether he meant to or not. Of the two, Josh was definitely the more straightforward one—guarded, but frank. There was a confidence about him that called me to him like a light to a moth.
“What do you do at the winery?” I asked.
“A job,” he said with disinterest.
“Not a career then?”
“I thought it was going to be, but I find I’m not that interested in climbing a career ladder. I’m more interested in getting some money together and traveling.”
“Amen to that, brother.” I held my tinnie up, and we clinked beers. Well, with tinnies it was more of a dull clank.
He dove into the change of subject. “Have you done any traveling?”
“Yeah, I went to Peru a few years ago.”
His eyes glittered with curiosity. “Did you surf Chicama?”
I laughed. “Of course. Cut the shit out of my feet, though, and that was with booties.” I showed him a scar on the side of my foot.
We were still talking about Chicama when Dan emerged from the depths of the house. He’d clearly just gotten out of the shower. He stuck his head out the back door. “Hey, Luke.”
“Hi!”
“You guys need a beer?” Josh and I called “yes” in unison. A minute later Dan appeared with three tinnies and sat down on the deck chair.
“How about you Dan?” I wanted to bring him into the conversation right off.
“How about me what?”
“Are you chasing a career, an elusive wave, or wanting to run off and join the ci
rcus?”
“Are we talking about today?”
I laughed. Nothing was ever straightforward with Dan. It must be fucking scary in his head. “Sure. Right here, right now,” I said to make it easy.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he visibly swallowed and then raised his beer to take a swig as cover for his discomfort. He turned his face away. Oookay, touched a raw nerve there, but I wasn’t sure how to deal with it, so I waited. I looked to Josh for guidance, but he seemed intrigued by Dan’s response, and when he met my gaze, he raised an eyebrow as if to ask “isn’t this interesting?”
“I dunno,” Dan began. “A doctor with Doctors Without Borders might be interesting.”
Josh burst into laughter before picking up an empty tinnie and throwing it at Dan. “Piss off!”
He easily ducked it as he laughed, “What? What’s wrong with that?”
“Absolutely nothing, for someone who could handle it.” Josh turned to me and tipped the lip of his tinnie in Dan’s direction. “He can’t even watch a wildlife doco that shows a lion pulling down a gazelle without cringing,” he explained. He looked at Dan. “How are you going to deal with people in a war-torn country?”
“Obviously I would go into administration”—he smirked—“since I don’t have a medical degree.”
“Well, Josh and I are going to travel the world looking for the elusive wave. Want to come with?” I asked.
“That depends. Are you planning to go to any war-torn countries? Because I don’t think I could handle that.” Dan had the cheekiest bloody grin. It was the kind that made you respond even if you weren’t sure you meant to.
“We go where the waves are. You either come prepared or you get left at home,” I warned.
“I’m staying at home then, because I rarely, if ever, come prepared.”
“Mmm, I’ll have to remember that.” The slight innuendo I let creep into my voice had Dan blushing and Josh grinning at me with his lopsided grin. Then I noticed the spark of puzzlement in Josh’s eyes as he looked at Dan. Bingo! It wasn’t just me. Josh was questioning what was going on with Dan as well. I stored that away for the moment and changed the subject.
“What brings you to Margs?” I asked Dan.
“Opportunity.”
“Jeez, you’re as cagey as this bastard,” I joked as I motioned toward Josh, who raised questioning eyebrows at me. I gave a little shrug to show him it wasn’t an issue and continued the conversation with Dan. “What sort of opportunity? Work, play, family?” With his increasing discomfort, I realized whatever had brought him was extremely personal, so I gave him an out. “Or did you come with the circus?”
“No, I left the circus,” he said a little too seriously. “I’ve come here to figure out what my next step is.”
I raised my beer. “Here’s to finding that next step.” They both lifted their cans in salute a little too quickly, suggesting they were relieved to be finished with that conversation.
“Here’s to not tripping on said step,” Dan added, putting the last nail in the conversational coffin.
Over the next hour or so we enjoyed watching the kangaroos make their way into the paddock, and several of the youngsters that were busting out of their mother’s pouches kept us entertained. When it grew so dark we couldn’t see them anymore, we decided to fire up the barbie. I offered to cook the steaks, and Dan was going to organize a leafy salad to go with the potato salad.
I watched them through the kitchen window as Dan busied himself with the salad and Josh handed him another beer. I was pleased to see he had an extra one, which he brought out to me. As he handed it to me, I thanked him and decided to go for broke. I lifted my chin toward the kitchen where Dan bopped along to the music as he chopped. I figured the less room I gave Josh to maneuver, the more likely I was to get some information from him. “I see he has you confused too.”
Josh gave me a sharp look of surprise before looking to the kitchen window. He watched Dan for a few moments before admitting in an affectionate tone, “Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on with him.”
“What’s going on with you then?”
Josh looked at me, and his dirty grin needed some serious cleaning. “Nothing going on with me. Do you want there to be?”
I had not been expecting that, but I wasn’t going to miss a chance that Josh might have sex on his mind tonight. “Is that an invite?”
The light caught the sparkle of mischief in his eyes. “Maybe.” Then he directed a guarded look toward the kitchen.
“Is there a problem?” I asked as I motioned with my beer toward Dan.
“No. No problem.” But the overly bright tone gave me pause. There was something, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it; maybe not so much a problem as a concern. I dismissed it. It wasn’t my issue, and I wasn’t going to make it mine unless one of them cared to bring me in on it. My motto was “don’t look for trouble ’cause it will find you anyways.”
I didn’t know whether the beers were catching up with Dan, but while we ate, he seemed to relax into things and let his mind run loose, and it was difficult to keep up with him. I missed half of the references, but Josh caught most of them—I guess that’s what came from years of friendship. I would love to have that kind of relationship with someone, and I enjoyed watching the two of them interact. They were a pair of funny bastards.
It was almost ten when Dan announced he was off to bed. I gave him a bit of curry about having no staying power, but instead of staying to argue, he waved dismissively and mumbled something about dawn patrol as he walked away.
“I suppose I should take off,” I said.
“You’re not driving anywhere. You’ve had too much to drink,” said Josh.
“I don’t think I have, but I’ll leave the maths up to you,” I laughed. I couldn’t care less where I slept, and I wasn’t about to get into the whole “how many standard drinks per hour” debate. “Maybe we should clean the kitchen up. It looks like a beagle was left in there for a few hours.”
Josh barked a laugh. “A beagle?”
“I see you’re not familiar with the antics of the humble little canine.” I chuckled. I figured we may as well clean while I told the story of the beagle I used to own, so I stood, and Josh followed me into the kitchen as I spoke. “Happiest little dogs,” I said. “Full of life and energy, but they need lots of mental stimulation.”
“Hang on, I might turn the stereo down. It’s a lot louder in here.” He went off into the lounge room, and I heard the volume go down as I began running water for the dishes. “Yeah, and…,” said Josh as he came into the kitchen and began putting condiments away.
I was relating the story, and at one point Josh laughed as he leaned over to grab the tea towel. He brushed against my back, and the sensation was electric. I guessed he experienced it as well because he missed the tea towel and had to have a second grab at it. He drew back and settled next to me to dry the dishes I put in the drainer. Damn. Now I was excruciatingly aware of his closeness, and it was making me edgy, but in a good way.
I continued with the story. “She managed to take the screw-top lid off the sauce bottle and ate most of that.”
“You’re kidding!” His eyes shone incredibly bright.
“Nope. And she ate an entire pumpkin in between tearing up some of those paper hand towels.”
Josh laughed. “Must have been quite a mess to come home to.”
“It wasn’t actually. Beagles are very considerate when it comes to food. They consider any food left outside their stomach a waste.” Josh laughed at that. “So the only real mess was a sticky floor.”
We reminisced about past dogs we’d had while we cleaned up, and then Josh asked if I wanted coffee. Not wanting the night to end, I said yes. I leaned against the breakfast counter while Josh started the coffee.
While his back was turned, I let my eyes drift down across his broad shoulders. The tank top he wore had big loose armholes that hung halfway down his side revealing abs that looked hard as h
ell from all that paddling he did while surfing, I guessed. It was a bit difficult to tell what his arse was like as the boardies he wore weren’t advertising their contents.
As he went to pass me on the way to the fridge, I snagged his tank top in my fingers. His eyes came to mine in surprise, but it must have been plain what I was thinking, because that dirty grin surfaced and he stepped to face me, trapping me with a hand resting on either side of the breakfast counter. “Want something?”
Fuck the words. I kissed him and hummed an “mm-hmm” against his lips. We took it slow to begin with, just enjoying the sensations of each other’s lips and tongues, but the guy knew his way around a kiss and had me panting for a lot more. He began walking me backward toward the lounge room, but we came to a halt when we crashed against the pillar between the rooms. There we stood, kissing and grinding our hard-ons against each other.
Josh’s entire body tensed against me for a moment, and it was only when he drew away a little to say something in my ear that I remembered the music in the background. “Don’t look now,” he whispered, “but we have an audience.”
Since my face could be seen from the hall where the bedrooms were, I nibbled Josh’s ear. “Dan?” I whispered and then tugged his earlobe between my teeth. I had to ask in case we were standing over a snake that had come for a midnight visit or something.
“Mm-hmm.”
Dan was a lot less scary than a tiger snake. “Shall we give him a show?” I asked behind the pretense of kissing his neck and face.
“This time,” he said. I would have questioned him on that comment, but I had better things on my mind.
I moved my head so I couldn’t be seen talking. I grinned against his neck. “Gotta showcase my skills.”
“Dirty bastard.” He chuckled.
I led him to the couch where we could be seen from the passage, and pushed him down. I knelt between his knees and kissed him before whispering, “Is he still there?”
Josh turned his head in the opposite direction, toward the kitchen. “Yeah.” Not understanding how he could tell from looking that way, I glanced over and saw Dan’s reflection in the glass door of the wall unit.
