Starting Over

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  “Thank you, and you look great. Working out still I see,” she said to him.

  “Well, since Corey owns and runs the gym, it’s a given to have access to such training.”

  “Definitely. I did a lot of that overseas in the down time.”

  He looked her over, and she blushed and then glanced away. He placed his hand on her hip and stroked her side. She definitely was thinner, but he could feel how tight she was and could only imagine what her body looked like under this sweater she wore. She was well endowed, had a firm ass that stuck out and was definitely an asset, but it was her green eyes that drew him in like always.

  “I missed these green eyes,” he told her.

  She stared up at him, and he towered over her. Could pick her up with one arm and toss her over his shoulder, take her wherever he wanted to, and have his way with her. That possessive, protective feeling consumed him all at once.

  “Jesus, baby, say something to me. Tell me you missed me, missed us, too. That you didn’t stop thinking about us?” he asked and slid his palm around her waist to her lower back and ass. She was super petite compared to him.

  She gripped onto his forearms. “Titus, of course I missed Cherry Hill. And Central Valley. I’m back and have a lot of catching up to do, new patients to meet, and so much will be going on, but I appreciate the care.”

  “Don’t do that. Don’t fucking do that.” He clenched his teeth. She frustrated him so much. He reached up and cupped her jaw and cheek, and even that aroused him and made him feel protective once more because his hand was so much bigger against her cheek.

  “Admit that you missed us. Admit it,” he pushed.

  “I missed all my friends and the people I know.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I’m losing my patience with you. You’re running from these feelings, from us, and this time it took you out of the fucking country and into a danger zone. That shit isn’t going to fly with us much longer. Our days of taking things slow, waiting for you to accept this, are coming to an end.”

  “Titus, I can’t give you what you want. There are plenty of other women throwing themselves at you and your brothers.”

  “Stop. Just stop it. We want you. We missed you, Charlie. Forget the damn past and move on with us. Just feel.”

  He saw the emotion in her eyes, and the need to have her close, to make her see what he was denying, got the better of him, and he kissed her. Right there, right outside of the shopping center, he kissed her fully on the lips and ran his hand along her ass and squeezed, loving the feel of her body, feeling his cock harden.

  She tightened, but then she was kissing him back. He felt her palm on his chest, and when he finally released her mouth to breathe as he trailed his mouth along her neck and suckled hard, wanting to mark her, to set claim to her, she gasped. “Oh God, we can’t do this. I can’t do this. It isn’t right.”

  He pulled back and stared at her, then at her swollen lips, the tears in her eyes. “I’m not giving up on you, on us. I’m not. So be ready, Charlie. Be ready for my brothers to come at you with everything we got and then some.”

  She pushed gently on his arms as he released her. He looked at her lush lips, the emotion in her eyes, her petite sexy body.

  “I’ll follow you home to ensure that you’re safe.”

  “That isn’t necessary.”

  “It’s the way it is. Things are going to change. Change big time.”

  Adalee was a little nervous when she left the Perkins men’s house and headed home. She felt a bit uncertain about her mom’s reaction to her entering her house after being gone all weekend having sex with four men. She felt her cheeks warm as she drove her car along the roadway closer to town. She had not expected this. Not to feel such a deep connection to four men she only met a few weeks ago, and definitely not men so much older than she. Who would have thought? She got the feeling that Rhett was affected by the age difference the most, but by the end of the weekend, she realized he was the oldest, the one in charge who ran the household and was like the leader of them. Not that they weren’t equal, but more like he took the reins and would pull them back in if they got out of control or needed calming. She hadn’t expected Coda, who she met last, to be the most possessive of her. He seriously didn’t want her to leave. In fact, he mentioned her moving in with them, which shocked her nearly to having a panic attack.

  She laughed. That had brought on a huge discussion about the things they expected in a relationship like this and what they hadn’t expected to feel making love to her together. Holy God, she was in a ménage relationship. She had thrown complete inhibition to the wind, followed her heart and desire, and did it all with them. She ached now being apart from them. Wasn’t that crazy?

  “Girl, you need to get a grip,” she said aloud and then maneuvered down Main Street and into the road behind the boutique and to her mom’s house. She smiled when she saw John and Keith’s truck. She didn’t know why she revved the engine when she pulled up to the dark house. Maybe she was a little worried she might walk in on them. She was shocked enough by her own actions. Surely she didn’t need to see her mom with her men making out or worse.

  She got out, locked the door, and then carried her bag and clothes with her. Everett let her borrow a military T-shirt of his, and Jeb gave her a pair of boxers she had to roll several times at the waist so they didn’t show too much.

  She opened the front door just as the light in the living room came on. “Evening, Adalee,” Keith said to her and sat down on the couch, trying to act normal.

  “Hi, Keith.”

  “Hi, Adalee,” John said walking into the living room from the hallway with his shirt a little untucked. He ran his fingers through his hair, and she had to hide her grin. Her mom was still in the bedroom.

  “Sorry to interrupt. I’m just heading to shower and then bed.”

  “Good weekend?” Keith asked.

  She looked at him and didn’t know what to say.

  “Adalee, are you okay? Is everything good?” Layla asked with a smile and a nice blush along her cheeks.

  “Good, just coming home to shower and then head to bed. Sorry to interrupt,” she said and gave her mom a wink.

  “Don’t be silly. We were just hanging out.”

  Adalee chuckled. “Yeah, I was just ‘hanging out’ with Jeb, Coda, Everett, and Rhett,” she said and laughed.

  Her mom pursed her lips and then smiled. “Are you okay? Happy?” she asked her, and Adalee looked at John and Keith, who were listening and looking concerned, as well, which didn’t make her feel weird but rather cared for. It was the way this town worked, and the way people naturally acted.

  “I hadn’t expected it. Not the intensity of the attraction, the connections between all of us. I just didn’t see it coming. Couldn’t comprehend it, but when I was face-to-face with it, I knew it was right.”

  “They’re good men, Adalee. They’ll take excellent care of you and love you,” her mom told her.

  “Taking one step at a time,” she said and then hugged her mom, said good night, and headed to her bedroom.

  Layla heard noises and then something fall and crash. She jumped out of bed, grabbed her shotgun, and walked into the hallway. She saw the bedroom light on in Adalee’s room. “Adalee?” She called her name and made her way down there. “Adalee, are you okay?” she asked.

  “Fine,” she said, but it sounded distorted.

  Layla opened the door and saw Adalee holding her throat, gasping for breath, tears streaming down her face. She knew immediately that she was having an anxiety attack an episode. She put the shotgun down in the hallway and then hurried to her.

  “Easy now. Easy breaths,” Layla said, and Adalee pushed her hands away and shook her head.

  “You listen now. You calm down and focus on my voice, on calming your breathing. You’re safe here. Everything is good, and there’s no need to worry about anything. I want you to think of a song. Remember that song you used to love to sing?” Layla asked.


  “Mom.” She growled at Layla.

  “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,” she said and looked at Adalee. “Come on, the next line, what is it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yes, you do. Come on. A partridge…”

  “In…a pear…tree,” Adalee said with her voice shaking and tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “That’s it. On the second day of Christmas…” Layla said, and then Adalee finished the line until her breathing began to calm, and then she appeared defeated.

  “Darkness. The dark,” she said to Layla.

  Layla reached out and stroked her hair. “You were okay last night with the men though.”

  “I felt safe, protected.”

  “I can call them.”

  “No. Oh God, no, no, Mom you can’t tell them. You have to promise me not to tell anyone about this,” Adalee said to her.

  Layla scrunched her eyes together. “Adalee, it’s normal to have these types of things happen. You have PTSD, and what you went through was traumatic. You’ve been fighting and fighting for months, and trying to act so brave and tough, but now you’re here. You feel safe, and you let down your guard and fell in love with the Perkins brothers.”

  “They weakened me,” she said and stood up.

  She lost her balance, and Layla grabbed her. “Sit down. This is common after the occurrence to feel light-headed. Let me grab your water,” Layla said as Adalee sat on the floor and leaned her head back against the bed.

  Layla handed her the water, and Adalee took a few sips. She stared at Layla.

  “How do you know this? How did you know about the song?”

  “Techniques that help with anxiety attacks so people can function and not get to the point where you were at.”

  “How?” Adalee asked.

  Layla felt the tears in her eyes. “When your father died and I was left all alone, it was the worst possible time in our lives. We were behind with bills, and I was working and debating about taking on another job to help when he was killed. I couldn’t function. It was hard enough trying to keep it all from you, to help you to heal, to process the loss and to handing things.”

  “You never told me.”

  “I wanted you to be strong, not to worry about me because then you would. You wouldn’t have gone into the police department. Wouldn’t have tried so hard to achieve such great things because you would have worried about me and my reaction. As it was, you were a child when he died, not quite a teen, and it wouldn’t have been fair to you to make you see the effects his death had on me.” She caressed her daughter’s hair.

  “It all worked out though. I sold the house, and we moved into the apartment so we were closer to the schools, and I was closer to work. That way you weren’t home alone for too long.”

  “I was fine though.”

  “Because your daddy taught you well. I could see so much of him in you. You might have gotten my eyes and hair, but his determination, his strength and need to save lives to be a first responder were all from him.” Layla smiled.

  “When I was in that building, and my partner and the other two officers were shot, a series of thoughts went through my head. As I felt the pain from the first gunshot wound and was bleeding, and thought about how they were dead, that I might die, too, Daddy popped into my head. It was crazy, but then came this fight in me. This determination that if I was going to die, I was taking the bad guys with me. When I popped around the corner and there was a guy there with a gun, he missed me. I didn’t miss, and then my training kicked in immediately, and it was robotic, instant, and unreal. Like it wasn’t me pulling the trigger, yet I knew it was. Like the training I had took over, and I did what had to be done to live. But it’s in that darkness, that small window where I knew they were dead, Eddie and the two cops, and nothing but darkness around me, only the sounds of the men, the criminals, trying to escape that for a second, the fear was so great I hesitated. Not that I wouldn’t do my job, but I stopped a moment to think. It’s that moment that for some reason haunts me.”

  “My God, you came so close to death, and you saw three other officers die. Of course you would have survivor’s guilt. That stress you were under in those moments were over the top, but as you said, Adalee, the training kicked in. That strong inner first responder mentality and fight in you took over, and you did what had to be done, and you made it out alive. You made it here to Cherry Hill. To be with me again, and to fall in love. This should make you feel even more certain that those men are right for you. They’ve had similar experiences. They can help you cope with things like they cope with it still.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not talking to them about this. I’ll get a hold of it.”

  “No, you’ll lose control, and it will get worse. Get the help you need now. I did, Adalee. On my lunch hour, I saw a therapist. Someone who knew how to help me adapt and to gain control. As a matter of fact, do you remember Abigail Melon?”

  “Yes, of course. She was a good friend of yours, and as I got older, you would go to dinner or lunch with her.”

  “I met her at a support group. We shared similar experiences and became friends. We helped one another out if things got hectic, and we felt overwhelmed. What I’m saying is that you have to know you are not alone in this.”

  Adalee gave her mom a soft smile. “Thanks, Mom.” She hugged her.

  When she pulled back, Layla watched as Adalee got up. “You have PT today, right?”

  Adalee made a not-so-enthusiastic face.

  “I thought you were making progress.”

  “It’s hard, and I am making progress, but I’m so tired right now.”

  “See if you can get a later appointment.”

  Adalee nodded and took out her cell phone. “I think I’m going to just stay in bed.”

  “Okay. Rest a bit. I’m going to get ready to go to the shop. If you need me, just text me, okay?”

  “I’ll be fine, Mom.”

  Layla felt concerned. Adalee looked really tired, and she had closed up again despite the talk they had. The sun was beginning to rise, and Adalee closed her eyes and curled up under the covers in her T-shirt and some sort of panties that looked like shorts. She thought maybe they were called boy short panties, but she wasn’t sure. She gave a soft smile and then headed out of the room. Her daughter was stunning, had an exceptional body on her, and was involved in a ménage relationship with four older, very experienced, professional men. Men who were going to be upset if she didn’t confide in them about this. Would she accept their guardianship? Layla wondered and then thought better of giving one of them a call.

  “Where is she?” Everett asked Bailey as he walked into PT and saw that Adalee’s car wasn’t in the parking lot, and she wasn’t inside either.

  “She couldn’t make it. Something came up. I got the text at five o’clock this morning,” Bailey said to her.

  Everett was concerned as he went through his physical therapy, but his gut clenched. He thought about calling Rhett. He was in town already, but then he didn’t want to panic. Adalee would have his head.

  When he was all done an hour later, he gave her a call. Still no answer. He headed back to Cherry Hill and stopped by Layla’s boutique. “Morning, Layla, Mom,” he said and greeted them hello.

  Layla looked away, and his mom worried her bottom lip.