The Boy Who Made Them Love Again

by Scarlet Wilson

  Luke eyed up the new recruit suspiciously. Was there a reason he’d been so keen to hang onto Abby? She may have had an out-of-date box of condoms in Pelican Cove, but what about her home in San Francisco? Was there something more to this relationship?

  Lincoln Adams pulled uncomfortably at his crumpled T-shirt. ‘Is there somewhere I can get changed, Abby? And somewhere we can get our equipment set up? I want to make sure that we are ready.’

  Abby gave a quick nod. ‘We’ve designated a room for you …’ she rolled her eyes ‘…and all your equipment. Have you brought some extra staff?’

  Lincoln gave a quick nod.

  ‘That’s great. I’ll also assign one of our NPs to your team to familiarise you all with the surroundings. Come with me and I’ll show you where the room is and you can let your staff start to unpack.’ She placed her hand firmly at the small of his back. ‘In the meantime, you look like death warmed over. I’ll show you where you can shower and change, and then I’ll take you for something to eat with David Fairgreaves. It’ll give the two of you a chance to discuss your patient.’

  Lincoln nodded gratefully. ‘You do know that’s the only reason I came here, right? The chance to work with David Fairgreaves was too good an opportunity to miss.’

  ‘And the fact you’ve looked after the First Baby won’t be too shoddy on your résumé either, will it?’

  Lincoln shook his head and the two of them walked down the corridor together, leaving Luke with an uncomfortable feeling twisting around inside him. What was this? Why did he feel uneasy about the relaxed relationship Abby obviously had with her professional colleague? Wasn’t it just what he would expect from her?

  He was sure that Lincoln Adams looked and felt exactly the same as he did. Like a fish out of water. In a strange place, with strange people and patients he didn’t know.

  Luke glanced at the piece of paper he had clutched in his hand. The list of cardiac patients he’d seen that morning at the clinic. Everything had been straightforward, easy almost. He’d been assigned a secretary and a nurse that morning who’d sorted out every test he’d ordered or prescription that he’d written for the patients. This place ran like clockwork and it made him a little envious of his overloaded clinic back in Washington.

  He wandered back through to the emergency room.

  ‘Dr Luke!’

  Lucy, Reuben’s childcare worker, came careering through the doors towards him. ‘Oh, thank God it’s you,’ she gasped as she sat Reuben down on the worktop of the reception desk. Reuben was crying at the top of his voice, holding his arm outwards away from his body. ‘He cut his hand, playing on the beach.’ She glanced over her shoulder. ‘Is Abby here?’

  Luke shook his head. ‘She’s just taken one of the new doctors through to the other side of the hospital.’ He looked down at the red-faced child and shook off his feelings of unease. He could do this. He was a professional. ‘So what do we have here?’

  He gently lifted the handkerchief that was held tightly on Reuben’s hand and assessed the damage in an instant, lifting Reuben up into his arms and signalling for Lucy to follow.

  ‘We’ll go through to one of the suture rooms,’ he said quickly. ‘Can you give Dr Tyler a page please and tell her to come back to the ER?’ he asked one of the receptionists.

  The woman gave him a quick nod and picked up the nearest phone.

  Luke placed Reuben on the bed in the suture room, pulling one of the angled lights a little closer. He quickly set up a trolley and scrubbed his hands under the sink, before putting on some gloves and opening the sterile suture pack. Lucy kept her arm around Reuben, whispering in his ear and pointing out the characters painted on the walls.

  ‘So what happened, Lucy?’

  She shook her head. ‘He wanted to try and find the rock pool you showed him yesterday but he slipped and he cut his hand on a broken bottle hidden in the sand. I can’t believe it happened. The beach is usually so clean.’

  Luke bent down and looked Reuben in the eyes. ‘Okay, big boy. I’m going to spray some magic stuff on here to make this nice and numb. Then I’ll be able to clean it.’

  The tears still rolled freely down Reuben’s face and he sniffed loudly. ‘I want my mommy.’

  ‘I know, Reuben, but she will be here in a minute. Let me see if I can make this better.’

  He gave the laceration a quick spray and waited a few minutes before touching it. The cut was deeper than he’d first thought and would definitely need sutures. ‘Can you give your fingers a wiggle for me, please, Reuben?’

  ‘I want my mommy.’

  ‘She’s just coming, I promise. Now, let me see you wiggling your fingers.’

  Reuben stuck out his bottom lip, before wiggling his fingers. Luke checked carefully, ensuring there was no further damage. He gave Lucy a rueful smile. ‘There’s no permanent damage,’ he said, ‘but I’m going to have to suture this.’

  ‘You’re going to have to what?’ Abby had appeared in the doorway, white-faced and breathless. She crossed the room in two strides, wrapping her arms around Reuben and brushing against Luke’s gloves in the process.

  He stepped back to give her a few minutes.

  ‘What happened, Lucy?’

  ‘I’m really sorry, Abby, but he cut himself on the beach. Luke said that he needs some stitches.’

  Luke was back over at the sink, throwing one set of gloves in the disposal bin and scrubbing his hands again. As he pulled on a fresh set of gloves, his eyes were drawn elsewhere. One of Reuben’s trousers legs had bunched up and revealed a dark purple bruise on the soft tissue at the back of his shin. Had that been there last night? He didn’t think so. Or had it happened yesterday when they’d been surfing? One thing he knew for sure—a child shouldn’t bruise that easily.

  He gave Abby a quick smile. ‘Are you okay with me doing this, or do you want to get someone else?’ He was more than capable of suturing the laceration but if Abby would prefer one of her other colleagues, that was fine.

  Abby shook her head. ‘Sorry about the gloves,’ she murmured. ‘I should know better.’

  ‘No worries. You’ve got your mommy head on right now. Do you want me to do the sutures?’

  ‘Yes, please. As long as you don’t mind his over-anxious mother hanging over your shoulder.’

  Luke smiled. ‘No problems. But I should warn you, I expect some singing while I’m doing this.’ He raised his eyebrows at Lucy, who quickly realised he wanted something to distract Reuben.

  ‘We can do that, can’t we, Abby?’ She started to sing a nursery rhyme.

  Abby quickly joined in as Luke bent his head and expertly inserted a row of sutures along the laceration then covered it with a white dressing.

  ‘All done. Well done, Reuben.’ He ruffled Reuben’s hair with his hand. ‘I think that deserves a special treat. How about I give Lucy some money to buy you a huge pancake at the canteen with chocolate syrup?’

  Reuben’s eyes widened like saucers, his injury quickly forgotten. ‘Can I, Mommy? Please?’

  Abby smiled. She didn’t often indulge his sweet tooth, but her heart had stopped when her page had gone off, saying Reuben was in the ER. She was so relieved it was nothing serious.

  ‘Of course you can, honey,’ she said. ‘I’ll need to fill out a little paperwork at the front desk. I’ll be there in a minute.’

  Lucy picked up Reuben from the bed and headed towards the door with him. Luke caught Abby’s arm as she headed towards the door.

  ‘Abby …’

  She noticed the expression on his face. ‘What’s wrong, Luke?’

  ‘Maybe nothing. It’s just, I noticed a new bruise at the back of Reuben’s shin. Maybe it was there yesterday, but I don’t remember it.’

  Her face paled. A whirlwind of possibilities started flooding her mind. The last thing that the mother of a child with ALL wanted to hear. New bruises.

  ‘But I watch him so carefully. I mean, I check all the time, I hadn’t noticed anything …’ Her
voice drifted off.

  A chill spread across her skin. She hadn’t checked him carefully that morning. Not like she usually did. This morning her head had been filled with hot and steamy memories of the night before. Had she missed the bruise?

  Luke slipped an arm around her waist. ‘It might be nothing, Abby, I wasn’t trying to alarm you. It’s just …it caught my eye when I was stitching his hand, so I thought I better mention it.’ Her weight had sagged against him and he could see the distress on her face as her mind raced to its own conclusions. He walked over to the reception desk with her. ‘Look, you fill out the paperwork and I’ll meet you in the canteen with Reuben, okay?’

  She gave a little nod, her mind obviously distracted, and he bent over and lightly kissed her cheek. Her fingers lifted to her cheek and her eyes flickered over to meet his. ‘What? Yes, okay. I’ll see you in minute.’

  Luke left her at the desk and strode through to the canteen, where Reuben was busy asking Jan to make him the biggest pancake possible. He lifted Reuben from Lucy’s arms. ‘Will you go and see that Abby’s all right?’ he asked, and she nodded silently and headed back towards the door.

  ‘One extra-large pancake with chocolate sauce.’ Jan placed the plate on a tray next to a glass of milk. She glanced at Luke’s full arms. ‘Do you want me to carry this over to one of the tables?’

  He gave a quick nod and walked behind her to a table looking out over the gardens.

  ‘I get the window seat!’ shouted Reuben, and wriggled out of Luke’s arms, plunking himself down in the seat next to the glass. ‘Yum, yum!’ He licked his lips in anticipation as the plate was pushed in front of him. ‘Can you help me cut it up, Dr Luke?’ he asked as he held out a knife.

  Luke smiled and started cutting the pancake into manageable chunks. His mind was whirring with the possibilities of ALL. Had he seen something minor and jumped to a dramatic conclusion? His instincts said no.

  ‘My mommy’s the best cutter,’ murmured Reuben as he watched Luke’s efforts. ‘She cuts in triangles, they’re much easier to get in my mouth.’

  ‘Does she now?’ said Luke with amusement, as he tried to re-jig his efforts into triangular pieces. ‘How’s that?’

  ‘Mmm, it’ll do.’ Reuben lifted his fork and speared a piece of pancake, the chocolate sauce inevitably dripping down the front of his T-shirt.

  Luke felt as if he was holding his breath. The more time he spent in this little boy’s company, the more familiar he felt. It wasn’t just the eyes and hair colour. It was his mannerisms. The things that he did without even realising it. The way he played with a little tuft of hair on his forehead, just as Ryan had. The way that his pinkie nail, and only his pinkie nail, on both hands was bitten down to the quick. The same way his own had always been as a child.

  ‘Whatya looking at, Dr Luke? Do ya want a piece of my pancake?’ Reuben was brandishing his fork, dripping with chocolate sauce towards Luke.

  ‘No, thanks, Reuben. You eat it all.’

  Luke bit his bottom lip. Ryan had died of ALL and this little boy had ALL too. Four years old compared to Ryan’s fifteen. Life was so unfair sometimes. Children didn’t deserve a disease like this. Children didn’t deserve to suffer. Why did this little boy—Abby’s little boy—have to have ALL?

  Luke raised his eyes skyward. Was somebody up there trying to send him a message? There was nothing in the world that Luke wanted more than the chance to have his brother back. The same wild wish or dream shared by every family the world over who had ever lost a loved one.

  Maybe he could get a chance to do all the things with Reuben that he never could with Ryan?

  But as much as he cared about Abby, could he really do this? Losing Ryan had been the single most painful experience of his life. He’d seen first-hand the devastation the disease caused. He would be mad to put himself through that again.

  The swing door for the canteen opened and a still pale-faced Abby crossed the room with a weak smile on her face. She slid into the chair next to Reuben, giving him a kiss on top of his head.

  ‘Look, Mommy,’ he said, swirling a piece of pancake in the remaining chocolate sauce. ‘This is great.’

  She slipped an arm around his shoulders. ‘I’m sure it is, honey.’ Her eyes met Luke’s, and she looked as if she were in pain. ‘I’m going to take the rest of the day off and go home with Reuben,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Do you want some company?’

  She shook her head. ‘No. I need for us to have a little time together. Just the two of us.’

  Luke nodded. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard her talk like this. Right from the start she’d said that Reuben was hers and hers alone. She didn’t seem to have made room in her life for anyone else. It was almost as if she didn’t want to share Reuben, and wanted to keep him all to herself.

  But she shouldn’t have to shoulder the burden alone. He could see the haunted look on her face. He could almost reach out and touch the physical pain she was feeling. It was evident in every little line on her forehead and around her strained eyes.

  Right now, for Abby’s sake, he had to try and make the effort. He had to offer her the support she so clearly needed—and that he’d never had. No one should have to do this on their own. And it didn’t matter how mixed up he felt.

  She’d looked distinctly uncomfortable that morning, when she’d found Reuben playing on top of Luke’s bed. Something churned deep down in his stomach. Luke stood up and straightened his coat, walking around to Reuben’s seat. ‘Yuck! Look at those chocolate hands. What do you say that I take you to clean up a little while your mom gets changed out of her scrubs?’ He gave Abby a little nod as he bent to pick up Reuben. ‘See you in five minutes, okay?’

  He held Reuben’s hands under the faucet. He could manage this. The simple stuff. The hand-washing and toy-soldier-playing stuff.

  ‘Why is Mommy sad?’ The innocent question almost stopped Luke dead. Children were so perceptive.

  ‘Do you think Mommy is sad?’

  Reuben nodded. ‘She has the sad face on today.’

  Luke knelt on the floor to face him. ‘Sometimes adults are a little sad. It doesn’t mean that you’ve done anything to make her sad, though.’

  ‘I know.’ He leaned forward and whispered in Luke’s ear, ‘When Mommy’s sad, I get to sleep in the big bed with her. My cuddles make her all better.’

  Luke smiled. ‘Well, they sound like really special cuddles. I’m sure they do make Mommy feel better.’ He took a deep breath and swept up Reuben into his arms. What he wouldn’t give right now to cuddle Abby in the big bed. But if he wanted to find a way into Abby’s heart, he was going to have to let Reuben into his.

  CHAPTER NINE

  ABBY could feel the bile rise in the back of her throat. Her stomach was churning and she felt physically sick. Please don’t let there be anything wrong with my little boy. She sent her prayer upward as she finished signing a form at the desk.

  ‘Hi, Mommy!’

  Her human cannonball sped across the department and wrapped his arms around her legs. She could feel the prickle of tears in her eyes.

  ‘I just got the best swing from Dr Luke.’

  From Luke? Really?

  Luke walked in slowly behind Reuben, touching her arm as he approached her at the desk. ‘Are you going home?’

  His voice was quiet, steady. He knew exactly where her priorities lay and he was letting her know that he understood. For once, it was a relief to have someone around who knew exactly how she felt. Who didn’t prod or pry. Or ask a million questions. He didn’t have to—because he’d been here.

  She gave a little nod and bent to pick up Reuben, trying hard not to let her gaze fixate on his legs.

  ‘Are you going to be okay?’ Luke’s concern almost made the hair on her arms stand on end. That reassurance. Having someone there to support you. She’d never had that before with Reuben. Last time around she’d dealt with everything herself. How easy it would be to have someone to lean
on.

  She gave him a smile. ‘We’ll be fine.’ Her voice caught, she hesitated. ‘You’ll be home for dinner, won’t you?’

  His breath caught in his throat. Home for dinner. It sounded like something else entirely. It sounded almost like a ready-made life. Something that right now he would kill for. For the first time ever he felt as if they were in the same place. He’d heard the hesitation as she’d said those words. She meant exactly the same thing he did. Home. He ruffled Reuben’s hair. ‘Of course I will. Do you want me to bring something in?’

  Abby shook her head. ‘Oh, no. Reuben and I have that covered. We’re going to make something special.’ She bent her head, whispering in Reuben’s ear, ‘Aren’t we, honey?’

  Reuben’s eyes gleamed conspiratorially. ‘Oh, yes.’ He nodded. ‘You’ll like it, Dr Luke.’

  ‘I’m sure I will.’

  He watched Abby leave the department and walk along the coastal path, Reuben still safely held in her arms. As if she didn’t want to let him go. A slow feeling of dread crept through him. And it had filled his heart in a way he’d never thought possible. A way he’d never dared to feel.

  This was about him. This was all about him. It was the first moment ever he’d actually taken some time to consider what his infertility meant to him. Not to Abby, or anyone else, but to him. He’d never admitted to anyone how much he wanted a family. He’d never admitted to himself that he might want a family. And until it was right under his nose, he’d never really known how much he wanted a family. And now he did. And it terrified him.

  Abby was right. Families came in all shapes and sizes. And all with a possibility of heartbreak. Reuben had ALL. And he had already lived through that experience. Reuben could die. If he opened his heart to this little boy, he might have to live through all this again. Could he really do that? Could he really put himself out there to endure that physical, psychological, crushing pain all over again?

  But what was more important? The chance to experience the love and joy of a family—no matter what pain came with it? Or the bury-your-head-in-your-career option? Where he pretended it was never what he’d wanted in the first place.