Demons should be able to be happy too right? Fuck this shit.
I can’t even believe she kneed me in the nuts earlier.
Sure, I could have been less of a dick about getting her attention, but I wouldn’t be me if I was. I saw her alone and acted without engaging my brain. It’s almost impossible to get her away from Brian, who by now I assume is her boyfriend.
Lucky bastard.
Of course an angel would get that kind of shining light. He’s probably nicer than me too.
I’m not jealous of him.
I’m not.
I just happen to be jealous of him being by her side in the happiness she exudes.
I finally found someone immune to me, who I can actually be myself around without being able to manipulate them to my will, and she hates me.
It is what I wanted after all.
I want to break her, see what she’s made of, see what she is and then build her back up so she’s as broken as I am.
I’m fucked up. I get it.
I know I said I want to be around her light and breaking her would diminish it, but I’m not in her light and they are throwing it around like it’s just a common trait that everyone has. That even those of us that are inherently evil are supposed to be able to access that shit.
I’m not the only one who notices Harleigh Roe either. I see other guys looking at her, watching her with desire in their eyes, but I seem to be the only one watching with anger. Anger and something else I don’t even want to acknowledge.
Another student, Darren Conners, looks at her with this deep-seated hatred that I can’t seem to figure out. He’s a loner, a nobody and he hates being around people. As far as I know, he has never once had an interaction with her and if he keeps watching her like a lion watches its prey, I will be forced to take action against him.
No one is going to hurt Harleigh, not even me. I may want to break her, but he looks like he wants to kill her, and that shit isn’t happening.
None of it is.
8
Harleigh
When the final class of the day is let out, I feel so drained that half of me wants to play the overdramatic drama queen and ask Bry to carry me. He’d do it too, but I like being independent, even if that means walking my zombie ass back to the dorms and face-planting the bed till morning.
“Beautiful, you look exhausted hun.” He plants his large palms on my shoulders. “You’re swaying on your feet.”
I am? Huh I didn’t feel that, but this feels nice.
I smile at my inner monologue.
I have got it bad for this boy.
I giggle at the idea of him being a boy.
Boys don’t exactly do what we did this morning. He is ALLLLL man.
“Harleigh, I am so glad I am all man to you, but I think I need to get you to bed.” He laughs as he starts guiding me out of the classroom. “And for the record, I’ve got it bad for you too beautiful.” I groan cause shit; I was talking out loud again.
“Mmm” I lean into the curve of his arm as he wraps it around my waist to help hold me up. “Bry Bry, I need sleep, but I don’t want to be alone. Will you stay with me? You’re tired too right? I mean you look amazing. How do you look amazing with so little sleep? You’re handsome and I like you. C-” Bry covers my mouth with his hand
“Harleigh, you’re babbling and talking too fast for me to keep up.” He chuckles at me. “Yes, I am exhausted and yes I will stay with you. I believe I owe you some answers to questions I’m sure are bouncing around in that beautiful brain of yours.” I giggle at him but just lean into him harder as he guides me to the dorms. He’s so warm and comfy.
By the time we get to my room, Bry is all but dragging me, I’m that tired. When we stop, I force myself to function long enough to unlock the door before he swings me up in his arms and I lay on his chest. The last thing I remember is nuzzling his neck when everything goes black.
When I finally wake up a few hours later, I find Bry asleep beside me. He promised he would stay, and he did.
I take a moment to look at him while I try and take control of the emotions raging in my mind and heart. The past couple days have worn us both out, and I hate that I am going to add more stress on him to answer my questions, but there is still so much I need to know.
My stomach growls bringing me back to the reality that I haven’t eaten a single thing today. I was too tired to even think about food, but I’m starting to regret that choice now. I contemplate waking him up to come to the cafeteria with me, but I decide against it. I will get food and bring it back for us then wake him up.
Once I throw on an oversized hoodie and my sneakers, I head out the door leaving a peaceful sleeping Brian behind.
It doesn’t take me too long to grab the food and be on my way back. Thank God the cafeteria wasn’t busy right now. I just want to feed my stomach and cuddle up with Bry and get this conversation over with. I’m happy to see Orion sitting outside my window when I get back.
“Hey there buddy!” I say opening the window to pet him. “Where did you go last time huh? I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” I pet him till he’s happily purring into my hand. Brian stirs awake behind me.
“Who are you talking to?” His voice is full of sleep.
“Orion.” He looks this way like he wants to say something, but I don’t give him the chance. “I just got back from the cafeteria. I woke up starving, so I grabbed us some dinner. Figured we could eat then talk?” I ask and he nods lazily making his way over to me and wrapping his arms around me from behind.
“Still going to pretend I don’t exist Orion?” He gives him a look that says ‘Obviously’, and jumps down to the floor.
“Guess he just hasn’t warmed up you.” I say chuckling as I pull away from them to set up dinner and Orion follows me.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said I was starving. Like I need to eat.” He laughs at me as he helps me set up the plates. It’s not much, just some spaghetti and a couple ham and cheese sandwiches, but it hits the spot as we sit down to eat.
When we’ve had dinner and cleaned up after ourselves, we make our way over to the bed where Orion is currently curled up and sleeping. I’m not sure why he likes to spend time with me once in a while, but I don’t mind. He’s fluffy and cuddly and cute.
I love cats.
They aren’t constantly needy and all over you 24/7 like a dog, but they still like to cuddle when it counts. It’s the perfect pet, sans the dreaded litter box. I climb onto the bed with Orion between Brian and I and sigh.
“Guess we should talk huh?” I say focusing all my attention on the cat sleeping between us.
“Yeah, probably a good idea.” He lays his hand on top of mine and squeezes making the cat lift his head and meow once before going back to sleep. “What do you want to know?”
“You said you were supposed to protect and teach me, but it’s more than just an assignment to you?” I hate asking and showing how vulnerable I am, but I need to know before my heart gets anymore invested, not to mention my body always being on fire for him. I don’t know if I can handle just being an assignment to him.
“I am.” He nods. “And it is so much more than that Harleigh. Like dad said, I could have gotten into some serious hot water for being with you.” I start to panic, and he sees the look on my face, rushing to explain. “But I won’t be. Even heaven says we are supposed to be together. So there is no one getting in trouble, I promise.” He holds up his hand like he’s testifying to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I believe him.
“Ok good, cause if I’m being honest, I don’t think my heart could handle being just an assignment to you. Having to be around you without being with you.” I sigh happily and lay down on the pillow to get comfortable and look him in the eyes.
“How are you supposed to teach me, or what are you supposed to teach me?” I’ve been wondering this the most. It seemed like one of the most important questions to ask. “Your dad said I’m a succubus,
right?” He nods. “But we don’t know if I’m anything else because we don’t know who my father is?” He nods again. “How do they know who my mother is?”
“We don’t know who your father is because your mother was a full-on succubus. She used her powers to seduce many men around the time she got pregnant with you.” I shake my head not liking the idea that I come from anyone who would use magic to manipulate someone. It seems wrong and immoral somehow. People should always be free to make their own choices.
“So my father could literally be anyone? Great. I don’t want to be like that Bry. I don’t know why she did what did or whatever, but I don’t want to be bad or manipulative. I just want to continue to be me. I care about people Bry. My parents, Addy, they are human, what if I hurt them?” I’m in full blown panic mode now and Orion has moved to the edge of the bed as Bry rolls over to take me in his arms. He’s rubbing his one hand up and down my back and cupping the back of my head with the other.
“Shhh, it’s okay beautiful. You’re not a bad person and you won’t hurt anyone. It’s not even close to who you are.” I lean into him and let him hold me while I cry, the panic slightly settling at his words. He keeps talking and comforting me.
“Remember what dad said about you? You have more self-control over your abilities than he’s ever seen in any other teen succubus. You shouldn’t be able to control your abilities like taking life force, but you do. We don’t know how, but you do. You’re strong and good and incredible. Don’t let fear take over, that’s why I’m here.”
We lay like that for a while, me crying and him whispering comforting things to me. When I’ve settled down, I remember why we were talking in the first place. I had questions; I still do.
“How are you supposed to teach me about my abilities and how to use or control them when we don’t even know what they are?”
“That we have to wait and see exactly what they are and plan accordingly. I’m mainly supposed to teach you about our world, so you know the benefits and dangers.” I nod, that makes sense. I just hope my abilities don’t ever end up hurting someone.
“My mom, where is she?” The look on his face makes my breath pause. “She’s dead, isn’t she?” He just nods and squeezes me tighter.
“I’m sorry Harleigh. I don’t know anything other than it happened a long time ago.” I nod because really, what else could I do or say? I don’t even want to process that knowledge right now, so I move onto another question.
“Connerton. What’s the purpose of it then? Are there more schools like it?”
“There are other schools like Connerton yeah. The purpose is to keep untrained half-bloods away from mortals. In year 2 we will start doing abilities training and testing, including martial arts. It’s pretty cool actually.” He gives me a little smirk when I stare at him. “What?”
“Abilities training? Year 2? What?! I didn’t know about any of this, how do you know?” Thinking about it, probably his dad.
“I’ve heard teachers talking about it and even some other students. You just ignore pretty much everyone around you.” He says laughing. It’s true. We’ve already established I don’t really do people.
I squiggle my fingers to get Orion’s attention and he toddles over to me, staring. Meow Meow Meow. I rub behind his ears making him purr as I turn back to Brian and smile.
“Okay smartass.” I stick my tongue out at him and he laughs even harder.
“Oh my God, that was adorable! Do it again!” I just squint my eyes at him and shake my head. I love his carefree laughter.
“Anyways, if that is the case, then how did I get into this school without even knowing about all this?” I wave my hands around for good measure and the cat’s eyes follow my every move. I’m probably making him dizzy.
“The angels have always known about you, I guess. They were keeping an eye on you to make sure you didn’t start abusing your abilities or powers. You were living with humans after all. But you never gave them any reason to worry, so they waited until you could come here and then I got assigned to you that first day.” I nod. I couldn’t imagine ever being capable of hurting my family or Addy, or anyone.
“So, it had nothing to do with my grades or my singing?”
“Well yes and no. For the outside world, that is something that’s said to be required to get in, but you would have been here one way or another regardless, your singing and grades just made it that much easier for all parties involved.”
“Why did you go to a school halfway across the world instead of one closer to your parents?” It’s something I’ve been wondering since day one. I know his aunt lives here but it just seems to odd. “Did it have something to do with me?”
“At the time, my parents sent me here because they said they wanted me to have a normal teen life and to learn about my roots. Looking back on it, I’m sure the angels were leaning on him to send me here to be with you.”
“What do you mean a normal teen life? You’re half angel, that doesn’t seem normal to me. No offence.” He just cringes and tries to laugh through it.
“Uh yeah, there’s still one thing I haven’t told you. I never intended for anyone to find out who I actually am, so I wasn’t going to tell anyone here, but you need to know. No secrets, right?” I nod at him to continue. “In Europe I’m kinda famous. I didn’t choose to be, it just sort of happened, but no one knows who I am or what I look like.”
I stare at him with my mouth opening and closing a few times before I kick my brain back into gear. “Famous?” He nods. “How?”
“I’m an artist. Some rich guy saw a painting of mine at my parents’ house one time and things blew up from there. My alter ego, aka artist name is Alfred Bretton.” I knew he loved art, I just didn’t realize he was good enough to be famous! I’ve never seen any of his work, but he hasn’t heard me sing either, so I’m not surprised.
“Wow, congratulations?” I smirk because, I mean, what the hell else am I supposed to do when someone tells me they’re famous? He smirks back and me and chuckles out a ‘sure’.
He quickly gets a sobering look about him before he looks at Orion still sleeping beside me rather than looking me in the eyes. “I have something else I need to tell you about the purpose of this school, and part of the reason dad said that as long as you were unaware, you were in danger.”
“Ok…ay?” I pull Orion into me and he raises his head to nuzzle me while I wait for Bry to continue. I’m really glad Orion came to visit tonight. It’s like he knew I was going to need a furry friend. “At graduation, you have to make a decision, a side.”
“A side?” I think I know what he’s getting at, but could it really be that definitive? Choose good or bad?
“Yes. Good, or evil. Remember what my father said? Every one of us is given the choice freely. Most everyone chooses the side they are born into. I’m an angel and I have every intention of choosing good, like most demons will most likely choose evil. We choose what we know as well as how we want to use our abilities. We choose based on what we are. Does that make sense?”
“What am I? I know what I am based on movies and books…am I a demon?”
“Yes.”
“So I’m going to be evil because of my abilities?” I really don’t like this idea. I didn’t choose to be whatever the hell I am. I don’t want to be evil, fuck that!
“Not at all beautiful.” He moves so fast to cup my face that he almost squishes Orion who hisses at him and goes to sit on the windowsill. Guess he’s leaving soon. “You were raised in a good family, you have never done a bad thing to someone, you have incredible control over your natural ability to kill. So much so, you weren’t even aware you had it. I bet you didn’t even feel that darkness could be inside of you because you are so inherently good. It’s just who you are. Everyone is free to choose what side they want to be in, just most people choose to go the way they were raised is all. You were raised to be incredible.” He kisses me with force yet somehow remaining gentle.
“Y
ou are incredible. You are good. Angels aren’t usually assigned to help demons who show signs of choosing evil.” I cry into his arms because I really needed to hear that. He’s wrong though. There is a darkness inside of me. It’s buried deep, but it’s there. Everyone has darkness inside them, I just wonder if mine is worse than most.
“I choose good. I mean we all have darkness inside us, but I never want to hurt people Bry, it’s not who I am!” I’m determined to never lose myself just because I have learned these new things about me. It doesn’t change who I am and always have been, and I don’t care what abilities show up in the future, I’m not letting them pull me down.
“Was my mom good or bad Bry?” I have to know at least half of where I come from. I will probably never know who my father was or is, but I can learn about my mother even if it won’t be something I like.
“Your mom chose evil. She enjoyed using her abilities to manipulate men into her bedroom, to make them do her bidding. She never gave a thought to being good as far as I know.” I figured he was going to say that considering what he mentioned earlier of her habits at ‘befriending’ multiple men.
“I’m nothing like her. I refuse to believe that I could be. She sounds nothing like me.” I’m shaking my head against his chest. I lift my eyes to see if Orion was still around to call him back over, but he’s gone.
Probably back to his family.
“I know Harleigh, you don’t have to tell me that. I knew you were good the moment I saw you.”
“Can I ask you a personal question Bry?” I’m unsure of how he will take it, but I want to know.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Do you have wings?” He smiles at me before answering.
“I don’t. Some of us that are half-bloods do but I’m not one of them. When the human part of me dies, that’s when I will receive wings as long as I’m deemed good when that time comes. Why?” He doesn’t look sad or mad, but I definitely don’t like him talking about dying. I hope it doesn’t happen for a long time to come. I don’t ever want to lose him.
Freshman Firsts (Connerton Academy Book 1) Page 7
