The Village Doctor's Marriage

by Abigail Gordon

  ‘Feel about children, were you going to say? I’m past all that,’ he told her flatly. ‘Haven’t felt anything in a long time. You’ve no cause to worry. I won’t throw a wobbly.’

  ‘You haven’t seen Tom Cavanagh, your oncologist, since you left, have you?’ she said, voicing a concern that she’d had all the time he’d been absent.

  ‘No, I haven’t. But I’ve been seeing someone where I’ve been living and am still clear of the cancer.’

  ‘Thank goodness for that,’ she breathed, and thought of the time when Mr. Cavanagh’s secretary had phoned to say that Steve needed to make an appointment for a check-up and she’d had to tell her that she didn’t know where he was.

  ‘So what’s going on in the practice?’ he asked, when he’d finished eating.

  ‘You’ll find that nothing has changed much. Most of the staff you’ll know from before. I still take the antenatal clinic and the practice nurses the diabetic and blood-pressure clinics.’

  ‘Who did Colin take on to replace me?’

  ‘No one at first, as we were expecting you back,’ she told him, trying to keep her voice steady. ‘When that didn’t happen, he employed locums, but in the end it became just the two of us. We both felt it was easier that way.’

  ‘Why was that?’

  ‘Because Colin never found anyone as good as you.’

  ‘But with me missing, there would have been extra work.’

  ‘Yes, there was—a lot of it. It was fortunate that I had nothing else to occupy me.’

  He didn’t take her up on that. He’d got the message. He’d left her private life empty and her working life was all she’d had. It would be a miracle if Sallie ever looked at him again.

  When they’d finished discussing practice matters, Steve got to his feet. It was late and he wanted to get the embarrassment of going into the guest room over.

  ‘I think I’ll turn in,’ he said. ‘What time do you get up in the mornings?’

  ‘Sixish. Liam wakes up around about then and his first thought is food.’

  He smiled. ‘Of course. Goodnight, then, Sal…and thanks for letting me come back into your life. I’m not asking for anything other than the chance to do a good job in the practice and, if I can, make amends for what I did to you.’ And before she could reply to that he went into the spare room and closed the door.

  She was standing rooted to the spot when it opened again and he appeared dressed in just boxer shorts, on his way to the bathroom.

  ‘What?’ he asked.

  ‘Nothing,’ she whispered, having forgotten that these kind of intimacies would be unavoidable living under the same roof. ‘I’m just going to check on Liam.’

  ‘Am I allowed to come, too?’

  ‘Er, yes, of course. After all, he is your niece’s child. You have more claim on him than I have.’

  As they stood side by side, looking down at the golden-haired occupant of the cot, Sallie was so aware of Steve’s semi-nakedness that she thought he must surely pick up on it, but he turned away and said wryly, ‘Life is so simple at this age, isn’t it? As long as his basic needs are catered for, the little one hasn’t a care in the world.’

  With that he went to where he’d been going in the first place, and as Sallie heard him switch on the shower she went into the sitting room and collapsed onto the sofa.

  She wasn’t expecting it to be easy in the weeks to come. Yet it had seemed as natural as breathing to make the sandwich when she’d discovered that Steve hadn’t eaten since midday.

  She could hear the shower running and thought that showering together had been as natural as breathing too…once.

  Raising herself slowly off the cushions she eased herself into an upright position and gazed down thoughtfully at the wedding ring on her finger. She hadn’t taken it off, never would, even if they never got back together again.

  Steve had taken one step in the right direction. He was back in the home they’d shared together, but that wasn’t going to heal the hurt he had caused. He had a long way to go before that was going to happen.

  When Steve had finished showering there was no sign of Sallie and when he looked across at the main bedroom he saw that it was his turn to be faced with a closed door.

  ‘Goodnight, Sal,’ he said in a low voice, but there was no reply as she lay with Liam in his cot beside her.

  As he turned away he thought wryly that it would seem that his return had been something of a damp squib, and he wondered if she saw it as just a temporary thing. That she saw him as nothing more than a lodger now. She’d said that she’d got used to living alone. That a person could get used to anything in time, and he was to blame for that.

  As he lay sleepless Steve heard the clock of the village church strike in the silence of the country night. He was back where he belonged, he thought thankfully. He’d dreamt of this place all the time he’d been away, and at the centre of his dreams had always been Sallie and the children he hadn’t been able to give her.

  But now the only thing that mattered was that he make amends for the senseless thing he’d done in walking out on her. She was cool and distant, wary of him. Somehow he had to prove to her that it hadn’t been because he’d loved her any less that he’d gone away.

  When he appeared in the kitchen the next morning Sallie was feeding Liam and the baby’s blue gaze rested on him briefly before it returned to where the food was coming from.

  ‘He’s a beautiful child,’ he said. ‘I don’t know how Melanie could leave him for such a long time. If he was mine, I wouldn’t want to let him out of my sight.’

  ‘She had her reasons,’ Sallie told him levelly. ‘She’s young, ambitious, has always wanted to be a dancer, and as a single parent she needs the money.’

  ‘And you just happened to be around to look after the baby,’ he said dryly. ‘I would have helped out with the finances if she’d asked me.’

  ‘Maybe, but her needs were immediate. She required someone who was there already, and as I was the only one around she turned to me. I wanted to help in any case and the thought of having this little cherub for six months was something I couldn’t have refused.’

  The baby’s cereal bowl was empty and as she turned to place it on the worktop Steve picked up a baby wipe and cleaned Liam’s face.

  ‘I need to get dressed,’ she told him, without commenting on the speed with which he was getting involved in baby care. ‘Will you keep an eye on Liam?’

  She knew he wouldn’t say no to that, and when the answer came it was, ‘Yes, of course.’

  When she reappeared, dressed in a navy skirt and jacket with a white silk shirt, Steve was doing what she’d known he would be, cuddling the baby.

  He looked up and said without explanation, ‘Philip Gresty. What’s the situation with him? I saw Anna at the garage when I came over that day and she told me he’s got motor neurone disease.’

  ‘There isn’t much to tell. We both know that it is very debilitating and so does he. Philip has been Colin’s patient so now he will be yours.’

  “I should have been there for him,’ he said regretfully, gazing back down at Liam.

  ‘Well, you’re here now,’ she said briskly. ‘But, time is passing. Hannah will take over here when she arrives. She should be here any moment.’

  ‘What did she say when she heard I was coming back into the practice.’

  ‘She was pleased to hear it. Hannah always doted on you.’

  ‘Until I blotted my copybook.’

  Sallie could have taken him up on that but their affairs were too important to be discussed in the few seconds before they went down to the surgery. Instead, she said, ‘There’s nothing to stop you from going down. I can’t budge until Hannah appears. I suggest that we do the house calls together after the surgeries. The countryside hasn’t changed much since you’ve been gone, but some of the people have.’

  ‘Sure. Whatever you say,’ he said easily, and made for the stairs.

  He was too docile, sh
e thought when he’d gone The drive and dynamism that had been so much a part of the man she loved had been damped down. Admittedly, it was of his own doing, but he’d had his reasons and though he’d broken her heart, she’d understood his despair.

  She could hear Hannah’s voice down below. Soon another day at the village practice would begin but there would be one big difference. There would be two Dr Beaumonts treating the sick, instead of one, and she couldn’t help but be happy about that.

  As Steve called in the last patient before he was due to start house calls, he was relieved that his first surgery was nearly over.

  The patients he’d treated had been varied in their acceptance of him. Most of them knew him. Remembered him from before. Some had been curious, others hesitant when they’d seen a different face behind the senior partner’s desk. but in the main they’d been too concerned with their health problems to ponder too deeply on the new arrangement.

  One old farmer who’d come to see him about his lumbago did have a comment to make to those in the waiting room. ‘I remember Steve Beaumont from when he was here before,’ he announced, ‘and he’s a damn good doctor. Not one of those who won’t come out at night, or is reaching for a prescription pad before you’ve had time to tell him what ails you, and his private life is his own business.’

  But Steve hadn’t heard the vote of confidence, and now he was being forced to sit and listen to what Maisie Milnthrop had to say, and she wasn’t ready to pat him on the back by any stretch of the imagination.

  Big of body and big of voice, the widowed octogenarian plonked herself down on the other side of his desk and said accusingly, ‘So you’re back.’

  ‘Yes, that’s right, Mrs Milnthrop,’ he said levelly, bracing himself for what was coming next.

  ‘Another woman, was it?’

  ‘No, it was not. I left the village for health reasons.’

  ‘Ah, picked something up, had you? I hope you didn’t give it to that lovely wife of yours before you went, and it’s to be hoped you’ve got yourself sorted if you’re coming back here.’

  He was angered by her attitude at first but then found himself wanting to laugh. The thought of being diseased and a person to be avoided was comical, but he wasn’t going to rise to the bait and said, without raising his voice, ‘You’re free to think what you will of me, Mrs Milnthrop. For my part, I’m here to treat the sick, so is there anything I can do for you?’

  ‘Er no, there isn’t,’ she told him with rising colour, and got to her feet. ‘You’re a cool customer, I’ll grant you that.’

  As she stomped out Steve shook his head. What would she have to say if she knew the real reason why he’d left the village? Would he go up in her estimation, or down?

  Doing the house calls with Sallie also had its fraught moments but in a different way. He’d phoned Anna Gresty to say that he was coming to see Philip, and when she’d told her husband he’d been delighted.

  Talking wasn’t that easy for him, but when Steve arrived Philip managed to say, ‘I’ve missed you, lad. I know you wouldn’t have gone away without a good reason because of the way you felt about Sallie, but, whatever it was for, it’s good to have you back.’

  Steve nodded. ‘It’s good to be back,’ he told his friend, and felt like weeping. The robust farmer was now a sick man. He was having difficulty swallowing and was suffering from muscle weakness that prevented him from walking properly and holding onto anything. His was already an existence of slow deterioration and when Anna told him how Philip never complained, Steve thought that his own problems had been as nothing compared to his friend’s.

  Philip hadn’t had anywhere to run when he’d been struck down with a dreadful illness. His own cancer had been cured, but he hadn’t been able to put it behind him because of the constant dread of infertility, and he’d gone off to suffer in solitude, instead of facing it with Sallie beside him.

  ‘What about physiotherapy?’ he asked, when he’d finished examining the sick man. ‘Has Colin ever suggested it?’

  ‘He was going to organise it,’ Anna said, ‘but the move came so suddenly it never got sorted.’

  ‘Right. It’s going to be sorted now,’ Steve said briskly. ‘I’ll set it up as soon as I get back to the surgery. It won’t be a cure, Philip, but it will help your movements and swallowing problems.’

  ‘I’m beginning to feel better already,’ Philip said, and Steve took his hand in his. ‘Send for me if you need me,’ he told Anna, ‘and I shall be visiting regularly without being asked in any case. And now I’d better go and see what Sallie is up to.’

  Sallie had wanted Steve to see Philip on his own not only because the farmer was his patient, he was also his dear friend. As he’d entered the farmhouse she’d gone to buy some of the farm produce that the Grestys’ daughter was in charge of in her mother’s absence.

  As they drove back to the practice after completing the home visits Steve said, ‘Maisie Milnthrop came in to see me during surgery.’

  ‘That’s strange. She usually asks to see me.’

  ‘It wasn’t a consultation. She’d come to give me the length of her tongue.’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘Leaving you, of course. She thought I’d gone off with someone else. When I told her she was mistaken, that it had been for health reasons, she still couldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt and jumped to the conclusion that I’d picked up a nasty infection somewhere.’

  ‘That sounds like Maisie,’ she said wryly. ‘What did you say to her?’

  ‘I told her that she was free to think what she liked about me, but that I was there to treat the sick and was there anything I could do for her.’

  ‘And what then?’

  ‘She went, having said her piece. ‘It wasn’t pleasant, having my morals suspect. There’s only one woman for me.’

  ‘So you didn’t feel the need while you were away all that time?’

  He glanced at her sharply and Sallie couldn’t believe they were having this conversation in cold blood.

  ‘Oh, yes, I felt the need all right, but I do have some self-control.’ He held her gaze. ‘And as I’ve just said, there’s only one woman for me.’

  ‘And that being so…you left me.’

  ‘I was a mess, Sal. You were better off without me.’

  ‘I would have liked to be the judge of that.’

  He sighed. ‘Yes, I know, and having seen Philip this morning I realise that what happened to me doesn’t compare with what life has done to him. I wanted to weep when I saw him.’

  ‘At least you’re here for him now,’ she said in a gentler tone.

  ‘Is that how you see us, Sal? Better late than never?’

  ‘Ask me in six months’ time. I need some breathing space.’

  The big limestone house that combined the surgery and their apartment was coming into view and he said, ‘In spite of Maisie’s interference and my concerns for Philip, it’s great to be back where I belong.’

  ‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘I think that everyone at the surgery was glad to see you, and all the village folk remember you as a “damn good doctor,” which, I was told, was how one of the farmers described you earlier.’

  There was no mention of just how glad she was to see him back, he noticed, and knew he had no right to expect that she should be.

  When Sallie climbed the stairs at the end of the late surgery, Hannah was about to come down.

  ‘Steve’s just put the kettle on,’ she said, ‘and Liam is getting a cuddle.’

  ‘Has Liam been good?’ Sallie questioned.

  ‘Yes. He always is. I’ve just brought him back from the park. The only time he complains is when he’s hungry,’ she said with a smile.

  ‘Don’t I know it!’ Sallie said laughingly.

  ‘It’ll have been a strange day, no doubt,’ her house-keeper-cum-nanny said, lowering her voice. ‘Himself being back.’

  ‘Yes, it has,’ Sallie agreed. She couldn’t remember a stranger one and wo
ndered if Steve was thinking the same thing. At least she’d been in her natural habitat, while for him it must have been a mixture of many things.

  He’d made a pot of tea and as they sat at the kitchen table, drinking the steaming brew, he said, ‘So who’s turn is it to cook tonight? Shall I do it?’

  Sallie hesitated. It was what they’d agreed, but it had been a tiring day and outside the sun was still high in the sky. ‘Why don’t we have a stroll down to the shops and pick up fish and chips on the way back?’ she suggested. ‘You remember The Happy Fryer, well, it’s still there, with Doreen and George in charge.’

  He was smiling. Not the grimace that he’d been passing off as a smile so far, but the quirky grin that she remembered so well from the days when there hadn’t been a cloud in their sky.

  ‘Bags I push the pram,’ he said, but instead of flashing him an answering smile she frowned.

  ‘What? Why the long face?’ he questioned.

  ‘Liam is going to be with us for another five months. It will be a wrench for me when Melanie takes over and it will be the same for you if you get too attached to him.’

  ‘Yes. I know,’ he said levelly. ‘But I’ve already told you that I’ve accepted that I’m not going to father any children. I’m over it, Sal. It took me long enough, I know, but you don’t need to think that every time I’m near Liam I’m going to go into depression, because I’m not. Look at the bright side. I’m a great-uncle.’

  ‘All right,’ she conceded. ‘So let’s go, shall we?’

  As they walked along the main street of the village, with Steve pushing the pram, Sallie decided to ask the question that had been in her mind since he’d come back. ‘Would you have returned if it hadn’t been for Colin wanting you back in the practice?’ Her tone was casual, but she held her breath as she waited for his reply.

  ‘Yes,’ he said, observing her warily. ‘I’ve been on the brink many times, but dreaded making a fool of myself. Colin’s suggestion was heaven-sent. After what I’d done to you I expected you to send me packing the moment you saw me.’