Letters from Lighthouse Cottage

by McNamara, Ali

  ‘I need that dress,’ I tell Charlie as we hang around in the shop amongst the leg warmers and fingerless lace gloves. ‘The one in the window.’

  ‘Why?’ Charlie asks, holding up the white T-shirt. ‘What’s wrong with this? It’s almost identical to the one you’re wearing.’

  ‘The dress in the window is different. It’s sophisticated. People will notice me wearing it.’

  Charlie eyes me suspiciously. ‘When you say people, do you mean Danny?’

  I feel myself blushing, but I shrug. ‘Perhaps.’

  Charlie sighs and looks into his wallet. ‘Do we have enough money for it? Cos I only have four pounds fifty on me after lunch.’

  I open up my purse. ‘I have… Six pounds and… twenty-five pence. The dress is eleven pounds.’

  ‘Twenty-five pence short. Sorry, Gracie, no can do. Looks like you’ll have to take the T-shirt instead.’

  I gaze longingly at the pink dresses hanging on the rail. ‘It’s in the sale too… so cheap for what it is… and they have my size, which is very unusual in sales.’ I look at Charlie like a puppy asking its owner for a walk when they’ve already said no.

  ‘I know where Wilson gets it from now,’ he says, rolling his eyes. ‘OK, OK, I’ll see what I can do. Give me your money.’

  Without questioning what he’s about to do, I hand over my purse.

  ‘What size are you?’ Charlie asks.

  I hesitate. ‘Twelve… well, maybe a fourteen. It depends.’

  ‘OK… what size are you today?’

  I look at the dresses. They’re quite loose fitting, which is why they have the belt to pull them in at the middle. ‘A twelve,’ I say confidently.

  ‘Sure?’

  ‘Yes. Sure.’

  ‘Right.’ Charlie heads over to the rail of dresses. He hoists out a size twelve, then he winks at me as he goes over to the till, where a young assistant who’s been examining the state of her bright orange nail varnish looks wearily up at him.

  I can’t hear what Charlie says to her because the boutique has pop music blaring out at full blast all over the shop. But I see the assistant vehemently shake her head. Then Charlie says something else and the assistant shrugs. Charlie points to where I’m standing awkwardly waiting by a rail of T-shirts that have ‘Choose Life’ emblazoned across them, and the assistant’s weary gaze follows his hand.

  Then Charlie speaks again. His expression suggests he might be pleading with her. Suddenly the young girl’s expression changes, she looks sympathetically at me, then she nods at Charlie, and to my amazement I see my dress being put in a plastic Chelsea Girl carrier bag while Charlie empties first my purse, and then his own wallet on to the counter.

  Then the assistant counts up all the money, and runs it through the till, puts a receipt in the bag, and then hands the bag to Charlie.

  A triumphant Charlie returns to my side, and hurriedly ushers me out of the shop and back out on to the street.

  ‘How on earth did you manage that?’ I ask him, looking inside the bag to check he’d really got it.

  ‘Let’s just say I have persuasive charms.’

  ‘No, come on, Charlie, tell me: how?’

  ‘I told her you were my girlfriend, it was our anniversary, and I wanted to buy you a dress but I didn’t have enough money to get the one you wanted, and she took pity on me.’

  I look at Charlie, but he doesn’t look embarrassed like I expect him to. He seems quite happy with his explanation.

  ‘That’s so sweet of you, Charlie,’ I tell him, feeling touched by his story. ‘You didn’t have to do that for me, you know.’

  Charlie shrugs. ‘I wanted to. Now go find a loo and get changed or we’ll be late to the castle. And I don’t think Barry will be in a very forgiving mood if we’re late after this morning.’

  I nod at him and dash over to Debenhams, where I quickly change in their ladies’ loo. Then I tart my hair up a bit, so my unruly brown mane now sits in a high ponytail to the side of my head. I’m quite pleased with what I see as I take one last glance in the mirror above the sinks, before I head out through the store to find Charlie again, stopping on my way at a perfume counter to spray some Poison perfume from a purple glass bottle on to my wrists – to add a final sophisticated touch to my glamour.

  Charlie is looking in the window of Our Price at the latest cassettes on sale, so I hurry over to him.

  ‘Hey,’ I say, suddenly feeling embarrassed. ‘I’m back!’

  Charlie turns around. ‘So you are,’ he says, standing back to take in the full new me. ‘And you have legs too!’

  I self-consciously cross one of my now bare legs over the other. I’m still wearing the white leather pumps I’d had on with my jeans before, but from my ankles up to my mid-thigh there’s now much white leg to behold.

  ‘Yes… but what do you think to the dress?’

  ‘You look great,’ Charlie says approvingly. ‘But what’s that smell?’ He wrinkles up his nose. ‘It’s bloody awful.’

  ‘That’s Poison,’ I tell him.

  ‘It sure is. You could kill a dozen rats with that, no problem.’

  ‘No, it’s a perfume – a very sophisticated one. You probably wouldn’t get it.’

  ‘I don’t want it!’ Charlie says, pretending to back away. ‘You smelt better before. What did you have on this morning?’

  ‘Oh that was just Impulse,’ I tell him with a wave of my hand. ‘That was nothing.’

  ‘It may have been, but it was a darn site pleasanter on the nostrils than what you have on now!’

  ‘Charlie,’ I say haughtily, ‘I’m not going to say anything because you got me this dress to wear, and I’m extremely grateful to you for doing so, but I think our ideas of sophistication differ somewhat.’

  Charlie nods slowly. ‘Yup, you’re probably right. Although,’ he says pointedly, ‘I would expect your ideas on most things would be different than mine, seeing as you’re on an exchange trip from Russia and don’t speak any English!’

  ‘What?’

  ‘That’s what I told the shop assistant to get her to give me the dress cheaper.’

  ‘But I thought you said I was your girlfriend?’ I ask, half annoyed, half disappointed this wasn’t the truth.

  Charlie grins. ‘Nope! I said it was your last day here, and it was all the English money you had left.’ He begins to reverse away from me as he speaks. ‘I told her back in your country you were very poor, and only had the option of second-hand clothes, so the dress would be the perfect way for you to remember the generosity of the English when you were queuing up for bread… Now now, Grace!’ he shouts as he begins to edge away and I hurtle after him. ‘Remember your dress!’

  I chase Charlie back to the meeting point for the afternoon, and arrive a few seconds after him, panting heavily.

  ‘Whoa!’ Charlie says, holding his arms up across his face as I pretend to threaten him. ‘Not my face! It could be my fortune one day! My ginger fortune!’

  Under his red hair, Charlie’s pale blue eyes sit in an even paler face covered in freckles. I laugh and give him a shove instead.

  ‘You, Charlie Parker, are the biggest pain in the ar— Ah hello, Danny!’ I recover as Danny Lucas strolls up beside us.

  ‘Cheers, mate, you saved me!’ Charlie says, uncovering his face. ‘Who knows what she might have done!’

  I smile at Danny while I calmly step on Charlie’s toes.

  ‘You look good, Gracie,’ Danny says approvingly, looking me up and down. ‘New dress?’

  ‘Yes, I got it at lunchtime, do you like it?’

  ‘Yeah… especially this bit,’ Danny says, lightly brushing my uncovered shoulder with his fingers.

  I nearly faint on the spot.

  Then he wrinkles up his nose. ‘What is that stink?’ he asks, looking around.

  I see Charlie open his mouth, but I quickly jump in before he can speak. ‘I know, it’s odd, isn’t it? Perhaps I can get rid of it?’ I reach into my bag and pull out my c
an of Impulse. Then I spray it in the air as if I’m trying to get rid of the smell, but quickly walk through the mist at the same time so it covers me, and the Poison.

  ‘That’s much prettier,’ Danny says, his nose in the air as he takes in the smell. ‘Thanks, Gracie.’

  I smile, but I don’t look at Charlie who I just know will be grinning at me.

  ‘Do you two want to join our group this afternoon to go and look around the castle?’ Danny asks, glancing over to where Barry has reappeared with his clipboard. ‘I don’t know what this tour guide will be like, but I’m sure we can make it more interesting if he’s rubbish – eh, Gracie?’

  I nod so vigorously I feel my ponytail slide around my head.

  ‘Charlie?’ he asks.

  ‘Whatever Gracie wants…’ Charlie says indifferently, sticking his hands in his pockets, ‘is absolutely fine with me.’

  Seven

  Once Barry and Glenda have made sure we’ve all returned safely back from lunch, we head off towards Norwich Castle.

  Barry joyfully recounts to us as we walk some of the history of the Norman castle, and I happily pretend to listen to him. Not because I’m the least interested in what he’s telling us, but because I’m walking along next to Danny Lucas and he’s talking to me!

  We talk about school, and exams, and what we’re planning on doing after our O-levels are finished, and I’m surprised to find Danny is thinking of taking an academic route like me.

  ‘History, that’s what interests me,’ Danny says as we walk. He gestures to the old higgledy-piggledy buildings we’re walking past, with their low thatched roofs that once were people’s houses, but now contain offices and shops. ‘Like, who lived in these buildings before they were banks and clothes shops?’

  I shrug. I don’t care who’d lived in them, to be honest, but I’m not telling Danny that.

  ‘And how did they live?’ he continues. ‘I’m actually looking forward to this afternoon. I believe it’s a great way to see how the Normans ran a fortress like the one we’re going to see.’

  ‘Uh huh.’ I nod keenly. I hadn’t expected this sort of thing from Danny. Even though I thought he was stunning, I kind of expected his looks were his main selling point. I hadn’t expected him to try and engage me in conversation about Norman castles and their inhabitants.

  ‘Do you like history, Gracie?’ he asks as we arrive in front of Norwich Castle. ‘You’re not in my history class, are you? You must be in Miss Granger’s.’

  ‘Yes… Miss Granger’s,’ I confirm for him, without actually answering his question.

  ‘She’s supposed to be great at teaching it. I wish I’d had her, but I didn’t quite make it into the top set.’

  A look of disappointment crosses his face, and suddenly I see Danny in a completely new way. There’s more to him than just being the local hunk; behind a pair of blue eyes that shine like sapphires, and hair as sleek and shiny as a horse chestnut, Danny Lucas has a brain – a sharp, enquiring mind that is interested in more than girls and football.

  And I like him all the more for it.

  ‘Never mind,’ I tell him. ‘I’m sure you’re doing great in Mr Donaldson’s class.’ I look up at the imposing hilltop castle in front of us. ‘I don’t know much about the Normans – perhaps you can share some of your knowledge with me this afternoon?’

  ‘I’d like that, Gracie,’ he says, bestowing one of his dazzling smiles I’d only ever seen him share with others, upon me. ‘I’d like that very much.’

  After we’ve climbed to the top of the hill the castle sits upon, we meet our guide in front of the castle entrance.

  ‘Hey, guys, I’m Liam,’ a tall, lanky, faired-haired chap tells us. ‘And I’m going to be your tour guide this afternoon.’

  ‘Fabbo!’ one of the kids shouts, mimicking his enthusiastic tone.

  But Liam doesn’t look at all put out, ‘Glad you’re looking forward to it!’ He grins. ‘I like to have a keen bunch. Now, if you’ll all just follow me.’

  Liam leads us inside through a tall archway and we begin to tour the various parts of the castle.

  I’m not sure if it’s Liam’s keenness, or my need to impress Danny, but I actually feel like I’m enjoying myself as we look at exhibitions showing how people would have lived, worked and defended Norwich during the time the castle was a working fortress.

  ‘Watch it, Gracie,’ Charlie whispers, when he finds himself standing next to me along the battlements outside the castle, as we take in the view across Norwich, while Liam tells us facts about battles, and stories about the lifestyle the soldiers that stood out here in all weathers would have had. ‘You look like you might actually be enjoying all this history.’

  ‘It’s odd, but I think I actually am!’

  Charlie glances at Danny, who’s hanging on every word that falls from Liam’s mouth. ‘Yeah, right, enjoying it for Danny’s benefit, more like! I have to hand it to you, though; you’re doing a damn good job of making it look like you are! You should definitely go in for that drama A-level you spoke about.’

  ‘No, I really am!’ I insist. ‘It’s weird, I’ve never felt like this about history before, but I’m actually interested in hearing about all the stuff that went on here. Liam makes it sound so current.’

  Charlie looks at me and pulls a face.

  ‘Have you had too much sun?’ he asks, putting his hand to my forehead. ‘It is a pretty warm day.’

  ‘Stop it, Charlie. I can change my mind, can’t I? Anyway, this isn’t like the stuff my parents are interested in. To me that’s just other people’s junk. This is real living, breathing history. We’re standing in the actual place everything Liam is telling us went on. Isn’t that amazing?’

  ‘Yeah, fantastic,’ Charlie says doubtfully. He looks at Danny, who, now that Liam has finished speaking, turns towards us and smiles.

  I wave, and he comes over.

  ‘Isn’t Liam amazing?’ he gushes. ‘I’d love his job when I’m older.’

  ‘Yes, he certainly brings the castle alive,’ I agree.

  ‘Barry says we’ve finished early, and we have forty-five minutes to entertain ourselves until the bus goes.’ Danny looks thoughtfully at me. ‘Do you fancy taking a walk, Gracie?’ he asks.

  ‘Er…’ I glance at Charlie. I feel awful about even thinking of ditching him for Danny again.

  ‘You go,’ Charlie says, waving his hand at us. ‘I’m going to get a drink or something.’ He goes to pull his wallet from his pocket, then realises at the same time I do there’s nothing left in it.

  ‘Sorry, Charlie,’ I apologise. ‘Charlie helped me buy this dress at lunchtime, so neither of us have any money left,’ I explain for Danny’s benefit.

  Danny doesn’t hesitate. He reaches into the front pocket of his jeans. ‘Here,’ he says, handing Charlie a pound coin. ‘I’ll get Gracie something.’

  Charlie looks at the money in his hand. Then he looks at me.

  Please take it! I try to urge him with my eyes.

  ‘Cheers, mate,’ Charlie says, to my relief. ‘I’ll pay you back.’

  Danny shrugs. ‘No worries.’

  ‘Shall we go for a wander then, Gracie?’ Danny asks, and I jump a little as I feel his hand rest in the small of my back.

  I swallow hard.

  ‘Sure.’ I try to say it casually, but it comes out as a squeak. ‘Sure,’ I repeat in a lower voice. ‘See you in a bit, Charlie.’

  Charlie just nods, and I’m sure he watches us as we walk down the hill together, towards the centre of Norwich. But I don’t look back; I’m much too preoccupied with remaining cool and calm in the presence of Danny.

  We walk down the hill and into a little park area, where we find an ice-cream van, and Danny buys us both a Mr Whippy ice cream with a chocolate flake on top. Then we walk over to a wooden bench and sit down.

  ‘Enjoying it?’ Danny asks, nodding towards my ice cream.

  ‘Mmm, yes,’ I manage, my tongue currently engaged in licking th
e soft smooth whip.

  ‘Good,’ Danny says. ‘It’s quite nice to get away from the others for a while, isn’t it?’

  I nod. I definitely feel that way, but I didn’t expect he would.

  ‘Not Charlie though,’ I hurriedly say, not wanting to slight my friend in any way.

  ‘No?’ Danny asks, tilting his head to the side.

  ‘No,’ I maintain. ‘He’s my friend.’

  ‘Ah… I did wonder what the deal was with you two. So are you just friends, or more than that?’

  I nearly splutter Mr Whippy all over Danny as the ice cream goes down the wrong way. ‘No,’ I try to say in between coughing.

  Danny reaches over and pats me on the back, but instead of sliding away along the bench, he rests his hand on my shoulder.

  I can’t help but glance at it. I never expected to see Danny Lucas’s hand anywhere near me, let alone resting there.

  ‘Charlie and I are just good friends,’ I manage to say, now I’ve finished choking.

  ‘Good,’ Danny murmurs, pulling himself even closer towards me. ‘I’m very pleased to hear that, Gracie.’

  I swallow hard. He isn’t going to do what I think he is, is he?

  But he is. Before I can think about it any further, Danny’s face comes even closer, and in an instant his lips are on mine.

  This is something I’d dreamt about happening so often; I thought I knew what it would feel like. But of course the reality of something is never quite how you imagine it’s going to be, and this feels nothing like my dreams.

  Danny’s mouth is soft and surprisingly warm, considering he’d been eating ice cream, which is exactly how I imagined in my dreams it would be. I lean in towards him, actually managing to enjoy not only my first kiss with Danny, but my first proper kiss with any boy. I would never count Nigel Jefferson as my first kiss now, not after this. Forever more when I retell this story to my daughters and granddaughters, my first kiss will be this perfect moment with Danny Lucas. I’ll remember the taste of him, the exquisite sensation of feeling his soft lips on mine, the warm glow spreading from my mouth right down to my toes. I’ll remember… a not quite so pleasant feeling of something wet and extremely cold falling into my lap…