Cackles and Cauldrons

by Sarina Dorie

  “You don’t agree with it, so you choose to ignore it and let the rest of the staff have to deal with it. Is that what I’m hearing?”

  “No. That’s not what I’m—”

  “Let’s move on to the next section, shall we?” He scanned his papers. “Your teaching methods aside, what’s this I keep hearing about you riding unicorns onto campus?”

  “I didn’t realize it was against school rules. I wasn’t born here in the Unseen Realm. I’m still learning what is taboo.”

  He chuckled. “That excuse might have worked the first time, but it sounds like it’s happened multiple times now.”

  “I didn’t invite the unicorns back. They just kept coming, even though I told them it was against school rules.”

  “Hmm. And what about the Prince of the Silver Court? Did he just keep coming back as well? Uninvited?”

  I wiped my clammy hands on my skirt. “Yes.”

  Dean continued to list the infractions. I was surprised by how many school rules I had broken in just under three years. With each item he brought up, I had a sinking feeling I wasn’t going to be able to get out of this unscathed. He took notes of my responses.

  “I truly am surprised the former principal didn’t turn you out with the number of incidents you’ve caused on campus. If it isn’t you insulting another teacher’s religion by ripping the turban off his head, burning down the school, or accusing another teacher of misconduct ‘by mistake,’ you’re causing accidents. You are full of drama. How many of the Fae-related attacks on campus occur because this school employs you?”

  From the smoldering in his eyes, I suspected he blamed me for his broken back—rather than his snotty tone when addressing a Fae king. Just what I needed, one more enemy. I tried to withdraw my awareness into myself so I didn’t have to feel his loathing of me, but it wasn’t easy when his entire body housed his need for vengeance.

  Principal Chuck Dean grilled me for over an hour. My stomach grew queasier.

  At last he stood. “That’s enough questions for today. I’ll be stopping in your classroom for some formal evaluations in the next couple weeks.”

  I rose. “Okay, great. See you then.” He hadn’t warned me to get my act cleaned up by the end of the week.

  I hurried toward the door, relieved my appointment was at last over.

  “Oh, and just one more thing.” His smile was especially wicked. “I do hope that if you have any electronics, you’ll be turning them over to Mr. Khaba to dispose of. I wouldn’t want my invisible security guards to happen upon them when they do an inspection.”

  I needed my electronics. They were the only thing that had kept me safe multiple times against Fae without revealing what I was. Being the rebel that I was, I wasn’t going to be handing anything over to anyone. I just hoped I didn’t get caught.

  Knowing my luck, it probably meant I would.

  Khaba found me on my way to dinner a few minutes later. “Miss Lawrence, a word with you in my office.”

  Why did I feel like I was about to get another lecture? “What have I done now?”

  “Nothing yet.” He winked at me.

  He waited until we were in the privacy of his office. “It would be in your best interest if you came to my office tonight to dispose of any items you have in your possession before Tweedledee and Tweedledum do their search of the school.”

  “Right,” I said. I knew he was right.

  His eyebrow lifted. “Why do I have a feeling you aren’t going to follow my advice?”

  “No reason.”

  “Chuck Dean is looking for a reason to fire you.”

  “He’s looking for a reason to fire everyone, right?” I smiled hopefully, wanting Khaba to dispel some of what I had sensed in the principal’s office. Maybe he hated everyone, not just me.

  “He told me the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. It’s Alouette Loraline’s reputation. The school board has put pressure on him to determine if you’re fit for a position here.”

  As if Principal Chuck Dean hating me wasn’t enough?

  Khaba leaned closer. “He said he was going to give staff a few days to turn in electronics. For some reason he decided to bump that deadline up. Camelia will start with the women’s dorms during dinner, Rudy with the men’s. I have a feeling your room is first up. You might want to head up there.”

  Dinner would have to wait. Hopefully I would make it there before the witch hunt began.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Books and Crooks

  I was surprised to find Vega in our room, her clothes all over her bed—and mine—her bottles, books, and herbs heaped into multiple piles. It looked like the room had exploded.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “I need to ensure none of my items are confiscated.” She wiped down the top of her dresser with a cloth.

  “What do you have that would be confiscated? You don’t own any electronics.”

  She replaced her fancy vials of perfumes and elixirs back on her dresser. “They aren’t just taking electronics. Gertrude came to me in tears. The principal removed books from her library. She’s afraid he might be a book burner.”

  The weight of that sank me onto my bed. The idea he would do such a thing disgusted me. Then I remembered I had burned my biological mother’s journal in the hope that no one would discover what it contained. Somehow it had magically restored itself.

  “Get up. You have work to do.” Vega threw her rag at me. “We need to remove any residue of poisons or potions that use forbidden magic.” She replaced dresses back in her dresser.

  The rag was full of holes, probably from wiping up whatever toxic substances Vega kept in the room. I dropped the filthy piece of fabric to the floor. “I’m not cleaning up your mess.”

  “Yes, you are. You share a room with me. You’ll be blamed for anything they find in here as much as I will. Maybe more so.” She stopped organizing, eyeing me with interest. “Hmm. I might actually be doing myself a favor if I leave things as they are. I can just let them think everything contraband is all yours. Then I’ll have a room to myself.”

  She was bluffing. She liked having me around, even if she didn’t want to admit it. I was a handy target to torment. Plus, she liked my magic drawing out hers and making her stronger.

  “I suppose I should do a favor for you and get kicked out,” I said. “Then you’ll have a new roommate. I wonder if you’ll be sharing with Josie Kimura or they’ll give you someone new.”

  “Wipe up the desk.” Vega continued to place the clothes back into her wardrobe.

  “I’ll do this as a favor to you,” I said, knowing how things worked in this realm. She wouldn’t have done anything nice for me for free.

  Though, it did benefit me to ensure I didn’t get blamed for anything she had done. I considered my own contraband items. I now wasn’t as sure it was worth risking my job to keep a cell phone, even if it might protect me from Fae later.

  Vega made a stack of books and journals. I assumed they were all forbidden based on titles like Fifty Ways to Hex Your Ex or Put a Pox on Your Enemies and More.

  “Is being searched like this normal at most Witchkin schools?” I asked.

  She waved a hand dismissively. “It depends what you mean by ‘normal.’ I had two strict principals at the Lady of the Lake School for Girls. But they didn’t search our rooms.”

  “Are they allowed to do that? Do we have any rights to say no?”

  “Sure. You just won’t be able to keep your job if you do.” Vega returned more bottles to her dresser and arranged them in neat little rows.

  I wondered what the administration would do to the students. So many of them went to Happy Hal’s Internet Café or used electronics secretly. I was going to have to make an announcement in class to warn them.

  “What are you going to do with all your books on cursing people and your poisons?” I asked.

  “Hide them.”

&n
bsp; “Where?”

  Her lips curled upward. “I have a false bottom in the coffin.”

  It looked like the coffin wasn’t just for dead people and fulfilling her sexual fantasies.

  My pile of forbidden items was far smaller than Vega’s. I didn’t know where she kept all the bottles of alcohol, cigarettes, or the variety of lethal blades the rest of the time that were now on the floor. Vega waved her wand over the bottom of the coffin. The wood texture swirled into a black void. She dropped her bottles of alcohol inside, followed by her books.

  “If I put my iPod in there, will I get it back?” I asked.

  She lifted her nose in the air. “Who says I’m letting you put your crap anywhere near my coffin?”

  “You are if you don’t want me to hide it under your bed at night.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare.”

  “They’re going to think it’s yours if you don’t. Then you’ll never become a department head.”

  “Fine. But just so you know, if they find our stash, I’m going to say it’s all yours.”

  I wasn’t sure if that meant she was going to let them find it and blame me, or she was just covering her bases.

  I dropped my iPod into the void.

  “Just make sure your electronics are powered off.” She pursed her lips. “The last thing I need is for Morty magic to interfere with the Celestor magic used for—”

  I dropped my cell phone into the void. It clunked loudly. The wood swirled, turned black again, and then sparked. The books Vega had just dropped in spewed out of the coffin at her. The alcohol bottles flew out next. I dove to catch one and then the other. All those years of juggling had taught me to catch. I darted back and forth to grab the other items.

  Vega swore as the coffin belched out more items at her. Out came a mummified hand that belonged to Galswintha the Wise, a red box I recognized from Valentine’s Day two years ago that probably still contained Derrick’s heart, and a vibrator.

  That was the item that surprised me the most.

  When the coffin was done shooting items out at us, Vega stared at the coffin with horror in her eyes. She waved a hand over the bottom, but nothing happened. The false bottom didn’t reappear.

  She rounded on me. “This is all your fault. You and your fucking electronics!”

  I held her books in front of me like a shield. “It’s all right. There are other places we can hide stuff. Right?”

  “Where? Tell me where I can hide this that no one else will find?”

  “Can’t you just make a magic portal and send it somewhere else?”

  “Your electronics are going to destroy any portal I make.”

  “You can hide it downstairs in the crypt?”

  “Really?” She jabbed a finger at me. “Do you think I’m going to be able to sneak off to the crypt with the way things are at this school now? Those two pervey security guards are going to be watching off-limits areas like that. They’ve probably set up new wards and booby traps. Did you think of that?”

  I inched back. “What about the crypt in the library?”

  Vega remained silent. She was thinking it over. That was good. It meant she wasn’t going to kill me.

  “How did you get in before?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I just put my hand on the handle, and it opened. Galswintha the Wise said it would only open for a Red affinity.”

  “Yes, but I tried to go back, and it wouldn’t open for me. There has to be something more to it.” Her lips pressed into a line.

  “Maybe it doesn’t work because you were made, not born Red.”

  “It was that magic word you said.”

  “Alohomora?” I didn’t tell her it wasn’t a magic word. Not in our world. It was from the Harry Potter books. I’d only said it jokingly.

  “I’ll try that next time,” Vega said.

  “We can hide everything down there. No one else will be able to get in.” Except Thatch and Imani. Even Gertrude Periwinkle couldn’t unlock the door.

  I wondered if my mother had ever gone down there. It seemed like she might have resurrected her adoptive mother if she had. Then again, maybe Galswintha the Wise hadn’t been a very nice woman. Abigail Lawrence, my adoptive fairy godmother, hadn’t cared for her adoptive mother. Mostly that had been because she’d used pain magic on her. I wondered whether Baba Nata was a Red affinity or she just knew how to use pain magic.

  A knock came at the door. I looked to the mess of contraband items around us, most of them Vega’s. My heart started pounding a mile a minute. I dove toward my two items on the floor to hide them.

  Vega had the sense to keep her head. She flicked her hand at the door, and the lock clicked into place. “Who’s there?” she asked.

  I hid my electronics under my pillow. Vega used her wand to levitate all her items into a heap on my bed. Of course.

  “It’s me, Josie.” She sounded worried.

  I started to speak, but Vega’s louder voice drowned mine out. “What do you want?”

  “Is Clarissa in? I need to talk to her.”

  “Go away,” Vega said. She at least had the decency to grab the blanket from her bed and cover her forbidden items on my bed.

  I stepped toward the door. “I’m here.”

  Vega snagged my arm. “Don’t you dare open it. She’s probably working in league with the new principal. I wouldn’t put it past him to bribe her to help entrap us.”

  “That’s just paranoid.”

  “It’s what I would do,” Vega said.

  “I need you to let me in. I can’t keep standing here. Someone might catch me.” She sounded breathless.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. I smacked at Vega’s hand. “I want to let you in, but Vega won’t let me.”

  “I need help.” Her voice was high and tremulous. “I’m going to be in so much trouble. I just had my appointment with the new principal earlier today during my prep. I don’t know what to do.”

  I tried to twist away from Vega, but she was stronger.

  Hitting Vega or hexing her wasn’t going to work. I didn’t have the strength, or cornucopia of spells, that Vega had at my disposal. All I had was the determination.

  And maybe a little bit of wickedness inherited from my biological mother.

  It was a longshot, but I tried the one thing that could potentially shock Vega. Instead of resisting, I hugged her.

  “Ick! What are you doing?” Vega released my wrist. She shoved me away—closer to the door.

  I took advantage of that and unlocked it and opened it. Josie rushed in. Vega groaned. Josie carried a tote bag.

  “What’s wrong?” I closed the door behind her.

  Josie dropped the bag with a loud clunk and threw her arms around me. “It was the principal. He said he knows about my affliction and doesn’t think I can control myself.”

  “He’s right. You can’t,” Vega said.

  “Pinky is helping me.” Josie made a face at her. “Principal Dean said he’s watching me. He warned me he hoped I didn’t have anything ‘suspicious’ in my room that showed off what a deviant I am. They might search me at any time. I have to find someplace to hide my laptop and DVDs.”

  From the size of her duffle, she had quite a few things. Probably that kinky bondage book I’d accidentally found was in there too.

  Vega crossed her arms. “Well, you aren’t hiding your crap in my room.”

  “I know!” Josie said, her face turning red. “I wouldn’t want Clarissa to get in trouble. I just. . . .” She sucked in a breath, looking to me. “I need help. I know you know where a secret passage is. You showed me once when we used those weird portal mirrors to spy on Julian Thistledown and get into Jeb’s office to talk to him. I was hoping you might show me where it is so I can stash stuff there again. Hopefully no one will find it, and I can remove it later.”

  “I have a better idea,” I said.

  “No,” Vega said adaman
tly.

  “Why?” I asked. “Do you have a deed on the crypt? Are you the only person allowed to go down there?”

  Vega glowered at me.

  Another knock came at the door. Josie’s eyes went wide. She grabbed her bag and dropped it in the coffin.

  “No, you don’t!” Vega tried to shove Josie out of the way to remove it.

  The handle turned. I threw myself against the door and locked it. “We’re naked in here! You can’t come in.”

  “Sorry, about that. I thought you’d be at dinner.” The voice was female but not one I recognized.

  “Who’s there?” I asked.

  Her voice came muffled through the door. “My name is Camelia Llewelyn. I work for security.”

  The invisible woman. I wondered if she was related to Balthasar Llewelyn.

  Vega and Josie stopped squabbling. Vega snatched up her purse. Quietly she started slipping items from under the blanket into the beaded bag. It must have been like Mary Poppins’ suitcase because it was able to hold several bottles of alcohol without bulging.

  “I’m doing a routine search of rooms,” Camelia said. “I’ll need you to step outside as I do a sweep.”

  Vega shouted, “What fucking part of I’m naked and getting dressed don’t you understand?”

  It was silent on the other side of the door. I wondered if the invisible woman was casting a spell. Vega snapped her fingers at me. She pointed to my pillow and then the pocket in the striped sweater I was wearing. I tiptoed over and shoved my cell phone in one pocket and my iPod in the other.

  Camelia finally spoke. “The principal doesn’t approve of that kind of language. He won’t be pleased if he hears you talking that way.”

  “Sorry about that. You startled my roommate,” I said. “Could you come back in ten minutes?”

  “Twenty minutes,” Vega said loudly. “Come back in twenty minutes.”

  “Sure. Ten minutes,” Camelia said. “I’ll search someone else’s room and come back later.”

  She didn’t sound unreasonable. She was just doing her job. Unless she was a complete sadist, she probably didn’t take enjoyment out of making other people’s lives miserable.