Playing for the Save (Men of Spring Baseball Book 3)

by Rachelle Ayala

  Thank goodness he hadn’t slept naked.

  The scars were tiny dots spread down the line of his left ribcage and one dot under his belly button. These days, they could do things guided by tiny cameras inserted into the body.

  “I’m still a bit sore, guys. No touching.” Ryan guarded his belly, just like he had the night before when the only positions they could use were non-weight bearing ones.

  “Okay, boys, time for breakfast,” Jamie said. “Let’s let Ryan get dressed and ready for the day.”

  “Will Ryan be here every day?” Ben asked, blinking expectantly, while Drew studied Ryan’s scars without touching.

  Jamie looked at Ryan who nodded, but she shook her head. It wouldn’t be good to raise expectations, and she’d rather be pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed.

  “Not every day,” Ryan said. “I have lots of work to do.”

  “My dad has lots of work,” Ben said. “That’s why he can’t take me to the ballgame.”

  “Lucky for me, the ballgame is my work, but I have to practice and stay in shape.” Ryan gave a perfectly reasonable response. “If your Mom’s okay with it, I can visit you whenever you’re not in school.”

  “Spring break’s coming up. I won’t be in school then.” Ben patted Ryan’s arm. “I want to sign up for baseball camp, too. My dad says I should go this year.”

  Ryan glanced at Jamie for guidance, and she shrugged. “I don’t have time to take him.”

  “Maybe we can get Drew into T-ball,” Ryan said, looking at Drew. “Hey, bud, want to play baseball?”

  “Baseball. Yes.” Drew snapped to attention. He jumped off the bed and ran out the door.

  “Great, he thinks we’re going right now,” Jamie said, following him. “Drew, let’s check your wiping and stickers, then you have to put on clothes, brush your teeth and eat breakfast. We have many steps to go before we can go play outside.”

  “I know. Steps. One. Two. Three. Four.” Drew marched down the hallway, pointing to the posters Jamie bought from special education companies, depicting morning routines, evening routines, how to dress, and how to groom.

  “It’s morning, so what comes after toilet?”

  “Wiping, washing hands, and sticker.” Drew proudly pointed to the newest sticker on the chart, and Jamie’s heart swelled with joy.

  He’d done it all himself.

  “Okay, what comes next?” she quizzed.

  “Shirt, shorts, pants, socks. Shirt, shorts, pants, socks. Shirt, shorts, pants, socks,” he muttered, twirling his hands to catalogue his clothes.

  “You do that, and I’ll get breakfast on the table,” Jamie said, rushing to the kitchen. Her heart beat on hyperdrive when she saw Ryan and Ben sitting in the living room playing a video game.

  He didn’t appear to be leaving anytime soon, and his hair was still mussed from the night before, after taking another post-sex shower.

  “Ben, Ryan, there’s no video games before breakfast.” She hated to be a stickler for rules, but she had to be sure Drew followed his routine. “After breakfast, Drew has to do his numbers and letters, and then because it’s Sunday, we get to go out for tacos.”

  “But Ryan’s here,” Ben complained. “Can he come with us?”

  Ryan raised an eyebrow, blinking hopefully, and Jamie felt her heart melt. What harm would it be to include him? He didn’t have anything else to do since he was on medical leave, and someone had to watch over him to make sure he didn’t overdo things.

  “Only after he goes home and changes his clothes.” Jamie put her foot down. “And don’t expect Ryan to stick with us all the time. He’s a very busy man.”

  “That’s right, buddy.” Ryan fist bumped Ben. “But if you listen to your mother, we can play a little baseball after lunch.”

  “Yay! Drew, Drew, did you hear that?” Ben ran to Drew’s bedroom. “We can play baseball.”

  “Not right now,” Jamie shouted. “Ben, you know better than to tell Drew something that’s not happening until later.”

  “Baseball!” Drew came running out of his room wearing only a t-shirt. “I pitch strike outs.”

  “You have to put clothes on and eat breakfast. Ben, go help him and put your own clothes on. You know the drill.” Jamie put her hands on her hips and gave him a stern look.

  The two boys went into Drew’s bedroom and Jamie turned around to a laughing Ryan.

  “You think this is fun and games, don’t you?” She glared at him. “If things don’t go as Drew expects, he might have a meltdown.”

  “And you live in fear of his meltdowns.” Ryan sobered up and walked toward her, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants slung low over his hips and a white t-shirt.

  Jamie swallowed the sudden onslaught of drool at the sight of the sports hero in her kitchen, looming larger than life. How was it that the Ryan Hudson, the baseball star known throughout the United States, was standing in her kitchen lecturing her on her autistic son?

  She strengthened her spine and lifted her chin. “You know nothing about meltdowns. Drew’s been on his best behavior, but you just wait when he hits a big speed bump.”

  “And we’ll deal with it then.” He wound his large hand around her waist. “I know you’re stressed and you’ve probably been that way since before he was diagnosed, but you have to expose him to new things, to changes in routines. He has to adapt to the confusing, crazy world around us, because face it, you can’t shield him every moment and one day, you won’t be around.”

  Jamie gulped, swallowing a lump the size of a baseball. “Don’t you think I dread that day? I’m all he has.”

  He moved his hands to her shoulders and squared them. “You are brave and strong, and you’re bearing all his burdens, but who do you have to bear yours?”

  “I—don’t …” It was no use to say she didn’t need anyone. She did, but no one would stick around for the long term. Sometimes, she wondered, if knowing what she knew now, whether she had been foolish to think she could shoulder the load alone. What if Andrew had been right in having professionals take part of the burden? It wasn’t as if they didn’t have the money for in-home care, even for a few hours of respite a week.

  He laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Think about it. Let’s see how much he can tolerate. Maybe when he was first diagnosed, he blew up at every change, but maybe now that he can communicate better, he might surprise you.”

  “I hope so. I really do.” She allowed herself to lean against his solid strength. “How is it that you know so much about autism? Did you know someone growing up?”

  “I don’t know anyone with autism,” he said. “But I learned how to tune out the noise and chaos in the stadium so I can throw that one perfect game-ending pitch.”

  “How, by meditating?”

  “Something like that.” He gave her a wink. “I’ll show Drew how to cope if you’ll give me a chance.”

  “You really think an autistic meltdown is the same as anxiety over a bunch of screaming fans?” She peered into his eyes, wondering what he was all about. “Are you some kind of guru?”

  “No guru. Just a good ol’ country boy throwing balls at the side of a barn.” One side of Ryan’s lips rose in a half-grin. “To get out of milking the cows.”

  His gaze dropped to her chest, and he made a kissing motion with his lips, which had Jamie heating up and backing away at the same time.

  “The boys.”

  “Hey, get your mind out of the gutter.” He ruffled her hair. “Let me call a cab and get to my place. Let me know when to meet you for the tacos.”

  She was about to say she would drive him but thought better of it. After all, he was a big boy, and she had to make sure Drew did his numbers and letters.

  “Thanks for understanding,” she said. “I’ll try it your way, but I’m scared.”

  “Change is scary, but look at me.” He patted his side where they’d taken out the spleen. “My season’s shot and maybe my entire career. But something good’s going
to come out of all this.”

  “What could be good about losing half the season?”

  “Carpe diem, seize the moment, we’re here together, right now. Let’s not let this time get away from us.”

  “No, let’s not.” She met his lips halfway and closed her eyes, drinking in all the dreams and answers to prayers she dared not believe would ever happen.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “Okay, I know he’s gone.” Mother stepped into Jamie’s house later that morning.

  “What do you have, sixth sense?” Jamie spun around after closing the front door. “Now that Andrew’s out of town, you’ve taken over the surprise visits and spying?”

  “Nana!” Ben called from the breakfast table. “Ryan’s going to play baseball with us after Drew’s letters and numbers.”

  “One, two, three, four, five, A, B, C, D, E,” Drew recited. “Baseball.”

  “I knew it. He’s coming back.” Mother’s eyes popped wide and she shook her head, jaw dropping. “I’m not going to say anything in front of the boys, but you and I need to talk.”

  “Ryan’s a friend.” Jamie gave her mother a meaningful stare. “Just a friend.”

  “Oh, yeah. Right.” Her mother huffed and grabbed a doughnut.

  “He’s a real good friend,” Ben said. “He even stayed in bed with Mommy. I wonder if he read her bedtime stories. He read me The Bear’s Baseball Surprise.”

  “Oh, really?” Mother arched an eyebrow sky high. “Does your mother have other friends who do that?”

  “Nope. Only Ryan. He helps Mommy with Drew, too.”

  Jamie felt a swarm of cold sweat descend on her, making her lightheaded. What was she going to do if Ben told Andrew about Ryan? She couldn’t tell Ben to keep things from his father.

  This was going to be a mess, and maybe she should slow this thing down—not let Ryan move in. After all, she barely knew him, and he would disturb their finely-honed routine. But spending a few hours with him wouldn’t hurt, and he couldn’t be serious about moving in. So, she’d let things hang and see what happened. Not very responsible of her.

  The boys had finished breakfast, so Jamie opened the dishwasher and put their cups inside. “I need to get Drew started with his learning. Ben, help me with the dishes.”

  “Okay,” Ben said. “Nana, I want to play pee-wee baseball. Ryan says I’ll be great.”

  “Oh, I don’t know if your mom has time,” Jamie’s mother said.

  “Mom!” Jamie exclaimed. “Of course I have time for Ben. Things are getting settled, and Drew can play T-ball at the same time Ben is in pee-wee. They meet at the same park.”

  “Can Drew handle it?” Mother glanced at Drew who was quietly putting his dish in the dishwasher.

  “Of course he can. Drew can throw and catch.” Jamie drew her mother aside and whispered. “Don’t talk like that in front of him. He understands every word you say.”

  “Fine, I’ll leave you be, but I’ll be back.” Her mother wheeled around, grabbed her purse from the couch and headed for the door. “Is he having tacos with you guys?”

  “Yes, he is.” Jamie followed her mother and stepped outside, shutting the door so the boys couldn’t hear. “Mom, I know you’re concerned and I should be, too. But please, just let me have these few hours with Ryan. Let me have a tiny pinch of happiness. He’s so good with Ben and Drew, it’s unbelievable.”

  “That’s exactly the problem. What’s in it for him?” Her mother crossed her arms.

  “Me? Am I not good enough to attract him? Even for a few minutes?”

  “Oh, Jamie, I didn’t mean that.” Mother touched her cheek. “Not at all. Of course you’re worthy of attention. It’s just the autism and the problems you have with Andrew. All the support you need. It can be overwhelming.”

  “Don’t you think I know that?” Tears flocked to cling on Jamie’s eyelashes. “Don’t you think I’m aware that he could leave at any minute? Maybe he won’t come back for tacos. Maybe he’ll beg off on the baseball later on. Maybe he’ll never call me again.”

  “Exactly. So why are you putting yourself through this? And the boys?”

  “Because he makes us so happy. When he’s here, I feel normal, like I can laugh and hope. He gets Drew and he pays attention to Ben. He’s like one of those guardian angel movies. I have to pinch myself all the time, wondering if it’s all a dream. A world famous baseball player coming to our house. I know I should ask him to leave. I should push him away before he hurts us, but how can I resist him when he’s looking at me like he cares?”

  “I don’t know.” Mother’s lips pressed in a line and she shook her head. “He does seem too good to be true. I saw it with my own eyes, but soon, he’ll be back in the game and he won’t have time for you.”

  “I know that, but I’d rather get as much time as I can while I can. I know everyone eventually leaves. Whether by choice or through death.” Jamie hung her head, thinking about her father and the string of boyfriends and husbands her mother had had after his early death.

  “Just don’t get hurt.” Her mother patted her shoulder.

  “I’ll get hurt for sure, but I hope it’ll be worth it.” Jamie blinked back tears. “I might never get another chance at pretending I have a normal life.”

  “What’s normal anyway?” Her mother sighed, her face drawn and looking every bit of her sixty years. The harsh Arizona sun hadn’t helped camouflage the lines either. “Call me when you need me.”

  “I will.” Jamie gave her mother a quick hug. “I know it’ll end with a big splash, just like at the end of an amusement park log ride, but there’s no way I’m jumping off at the top.”

  “Just be careful when you’re jumping on top of him,” Mother grumbled. "You know what could happen.”

  “You weren’t home all night,” Ryan’s mother said on the phone. “I know, because I called.”

  “How do you know I just wasn’t picking up the phone?” Ryan cradled the cordless phone with his neck and rummaged through his dresser. Thank goodness, he’d silenced his phone before appearing at Jamie’s.

  “Your cell phone tracked to a house near where you crashed last week,” his mother said. “Jamie’s house.”

  “Oh, gosh, Mom, don’t tell me you’re resorting to cell phone trackers.” He feigned utter disgust, even though he had added her to his family group so that while he traveled, she would know exactly when he got in and not have to worry.

  “I don’t have to resort to anything to mother you,” she said. “Did you take your temperature?”

  “Jamie did, and I’m fine,” he said. “Since you have the tracker on me, I might as well let you know I’m moving in with her.”

  “Moving in?” Mother’s tone was sharp. “You barely know her.”

  “There’s no better way to know her than to move in, especially with the two boys,” Ryan said.

  “Is she going with this? I don’t believe this. What kind of woman is she anyway?”

  “Mom!” Ryan’s voice held a clear warning. “Jamie is not like anyone I’ve ever met. She’s responsible, caring, and amazing.”

  “But you’re moving too fast,” his mother complained. “Do you have any idea what it’s like when Drew has a breakdown or she’s screaming at you because she can’t take it anymore?”

  “I can imagine that was how Dad felt,” Ryan said. “Not that he showed any emotion.”

  “Then you have no idea how much it hurt when he’d stay out late in the fields or sleep in the barn.”

  “You never told me it bothered you.”

  His mother sighed loudly and huffed. “You were a child. Why would I unload my problems on you? All I’m saying is you have no idea how you’d feel playing second or third fiddle to Jamie’s boys. Right now, you think they’re fun and cute, and maybe you’re in it for the challenge. Or admit it, the woman attracts you. But she’s a single mother.”

  “I know she’s a single mother, and I understand she has priorities that might not include me.”
<
br />   “It’s not just that.” His mother sounded like he was either slow or stubborn or maybe both. “You don’t mess around with single mothers because you’ll hurt their children. If you’re thinking of Jamie as a little side action while you’re convalescing, then you’ve got it all wrong. Those kids are going to fall in love with you, and then you’re going to leave them, just like their father did. How’s that going to help them?”

  “Jamie’s already told them I’m temporary. She’s not going to let them think I’m more than a friend,” Ryan said, running his fingers through his hair. Why couldn’t his mother credit him with common sense? Of course he knew about children and how much they got attached. He’d been that way with his first baseball coach. When his coach moved, he’d been upset, grieved, and then went on. Children were resilient and they needed to learn to accept change.

  “Are you more than a friend? Did you spend the night in her bed?” His mother was quick to the point. “Because if you did, I’m disappointed in you. I didn’t bring you up like this.”

  Ryan bristled at his mother’s accusations. “How’s this any different than the women I pick up at bars? Would you rather I kept doing that?”

  “Of course not. I told you, you needed to change your ways, but I didn’t expect you to do this with Jamie. I thought she’d be more responsible. I’m disappointed, frankly. How can she be so reckless?”

  “Stop blaming her.” He raised his voice and pain shot through his side. “This is a private matter between us, and I won’t discuss it anymore.”

  “Fine, but you’re the one who’s going to be hurt when she puts her children ahead of you,” his mother warned.

  “I thought you wanted me to date her. I don’t get it.”

  “She could be good for you, because she knows how to handle people with autism, but at the same time, she can’t pay full attention to you.”

  “I don’t need her full attention. I don’t even know why I need her. I just don’t want to be lonely anymore. I can’t workout with the team. I’m not supposed to lift anything heavier than ten pounds. What do you want me to do? Stay home and watch TV?”