A Dream of Family

by Jill Weatherholt

  “At first, I thought the relationship had just started. But that wasn’t the case. Before I had arrived at the house, my father had admitted to my mother he’d been having a relationship with her for over ten years.”

  Molly gasped at Derek’s words.

  “Yeah, well, it gets worse. He had children with her. Twin girls. I grew up thinking I was an only child, but in reality, I have two half sisters who are around eight years old now.”

  They reached the end of the sidewalk that ran parallel to the lake. Derek stopped and turned to face the water.

  “I’m so sorry, Derek. I can’t imagine learning something so shocking.” Molly squeezed his hand.

  “I’ve tried to forgive him, Molly. I have, but I can’t move past the lie. For most of my life, I thought we had a perfect family. Sure, my father wasn’t around much, but I still believed he loved me and my mother.”

  Molly glanced toward the stars. “I don’t think there’s such a thing as the perfect family.”

  Derek swallowed hard to push down the lump lodged in his throat. “I came to the same conclusion the day of your wedding. It’s why I told Ryan he shouldn’t get married.”

  Molly pulled her hand away and pressed it to her upper thigh.

  “It was nothing against you. I tried to protect him. Or I thought I was. I wanted to make sure he knew there was no such thing as happily-ever-after. I told him what my father did was proof. Marriages don’t last, and everyone involved gets their heart broken.”

  Molly held her silence for only a moment. “Don’t you think that was something Ryan had the right to learn on his own?” She turned and started to head back in the direction they’d come from.

  As she walked down the path, Derek considered her words. The moon cascaded across the back of Molly’s shiny hair. He didn’t move until she disappeared out of his sight, but her words remained. There might not be such a thing as a perfect family. A perfect man. Had he been wrong to believe his father was flawless, without defects? Just because his parents’ marriage didn’t work, did that have to mean all relationships were doomed? Perhaps it was time he realized that people made mistakes. On the day of Molly’s wedding, he’d made one of his biggest mistakes ever by filling Ryan’s head with doubt. It hadn’t been his place. Looking back now, with a clear mind, Derek could see his error in judgment. He pivoted on his heel and headed up the trail.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Molly carried a yellow rocking chair from the corner of the children’s area to the semicircle she’d formed around her seat.

  “What time is Annie dropping off Grace?” Caitlin called out from behind the register where she’d been parked for the past hour, managing the social media accounts for the bookstore.

  Molly was thrilled when she learned Caitlin, like Derek, was tech savvy. She knew all of the ins and outs when it came to the different platforms. The extra advertising had helped Molly see an uptick in sales this week. But would that, in combination with Mark’s book signing tomorrow, be enough to save her store?

  “She should be here within the hour. Thanks so much for agreeing to watch the store after Book Buddies. I need this alone time with Grace tonight.”

  Annie had called that morning to let her know she planned to drop off Grace for the book club tonight. Molly was excited but nervous about seeing the child. Their last time together at the picnic hadn’t gone as she’d hoped. Much like her walk around the lake last night with Derek. She’d left him standing by the water’s edge and hadn’t seen him once today.

  True, she’d felt terrible for him when he’d shared his family’s secret, but it hadn’t given him the right to ruin her future, as well. But had it really been all Derek’s fault? Since their conversation at the lake, she couldn’t help but wonder. Maybe Ryan had used Derek’s news as a way to end their relationship. She couldn’t ignore the fact that there had been a couple of times when Ryan suggested maybe they should wait a while longer before getting married. Had he felt pressured to propose marriage to her? If he’d truly loved her, would he have been able to walk away so easily? Would someone on the verge of committing their life to another person throw it all away with such ease?

  She shuddered at the stab of pain and humiliation. Maybe no family was perfect, but that wouldn’t stop her from having a family of her own.

  “Sure, no problem,” Caitlin said.

  Molly needed to keep her mind off Derek. She grabbed another chair and moved toward the register.

  “I hope everything works out with the adoption, Molly. Grace seems like a sweet kid, and I know you’ll make a wonderful mother.”

  Molly’s heart danced at Caitlin’s comment. The past few days, doubt had swarmed like gnats over a marsh. But it wasn’t only her financial situation that left her questioning if she was qualified to be a mother. Was she being fair to Grace by adopting as a single mother? Didn’t Grace deserve a complete family? Two parents. But then Molly thought of Shelley and how amazing she’d been at raising Molly as a single mom. “You think so?”

  Caitlin looked up from the computer. “I know so.”

  An hour later, Molly’s attention turned to the door as the overhead bell chimed and she heard the giggles of small children. She couldn’t wait for time with Grace.

  “Thanks for putting out the snacks, Caitlin. With all of that sugar, I hope the children will be able to sit still for the book reading.” Molly watched as children swarmed the table loaded with treats. The school group attending this evening were second graders, but younger and a few older children also filled the store.

  “You don’t have to worry. You picked a great book for tonight.”

  This book held a special place in Molly’s heart. It told the story of a girl who must decide which puppy to adopt from the animal shelter. As a child, she remembered reading it and feeling like the puppies. They’d wanted to be welcomed into a family and be loved. It had been her dream, too.

  “Look, there’s Grace,” Caitlin announced.

  Molly turned and spotted the child. She looked precious as ever dressed in blue jeans and a white sweater with little cherries on the front. Her honey-blond hair was pulled back with shiny barrettes on each side.

  Annie and Grace moved toward the register. Molly watched as the child held tightly to Annie’s hand while taking in her surroundings. When Grace looked in Molly’s direction, a tiny smile parted the little girl’s lips. A glimmer of hope ignited in Molly’s heart. Could today be the day she made a connection?

  “Hi, Molly. It looks like another good turnout for you.” Annie smiled and leaned against the counter.

  Molly noticed the crowd was larger than last week.

  “Yes, it does. I’m glad you could come, Grace.” She looked down, smiled and brushed her hand over Grace’s tiny shoulder.

  “Is Mr. Derek coming tonight?”

  Molly’s heart sank. “I don’t think so, but we’ll have a good time. I promise.”

  Annie gave Molly a look of understanding and nodded. “I think you two will have a great time.” She kneeled in front of Grace. “I’m going to head out. I’ll be back to pick you up in a couple of hours.”

  Molly watched Grace. Would she refuse to stay behind? Thankfully, Grace nodded and looked toward Molly. “Can I go get a cookie?”

  “Of course you can.”

  The grown-ups watched as Grace scurried toward the table of refreshments.

  “Do you think I’m making progress with her? At least she’s okay staying without you or Derek here.”

  Annie tugged on her purse strap. “Relax, she’ll come around.”

  “I sure hope so.”

  “She was excited when I mentioned you want to take her to the Apple Harvest Festival. You’ll have a great time,” Annie said.

  “So you’re okay with me taking her?”

  “Of course. I need to run. Have fun tonight.” Annie
turned and headed out the door.

  Molly hoped Annie was right. It was one thing to spend an hour or two with Grace, but an entire afternoon at the Apple Harvest Festival was different. The pressure would be on, but first Molly had to take advantage of the time she had this evening.

  With Caitlin tending to the customers at the register, Molly seized the moment and approached with caution. She kept a close eye on Grace sitting at a table by a window that overlooked the courtyard. “That’s always been one of my favorites.” She commented on the book Grace had in front of her.

  “Really? Mine, too.” The child’s face beamed like it had when she’d watched the video of Duke.

  “Oh yes. Those children are good detectives, don’t you think?”

  Grace reached for the book and studied the cover. Her nose crinkled. “I think it would be fun. They seem smart.”

  Molly slid into the empty chair. Grace appeared open to talk to her even though she didn’t have a dog like Derek. Could books be a gateway into the child’s heart? “Not all children like to read. I’m glad you seem to enjoy it.”

  Grace turned her gaze toward the window. “Sometimes I like to pretend I’m a character in the book.”

  Molly’s chest tightened. Of course she did. “When I was your age, I did the same thing.”

  Her face brightened. “You did?”

  Molly nodded. “Did Miss Annie tell you I was raised in foster care, too?” Molly had been nervous to address the subject, but the timing felt right.

  “So your mommy didn’t want you, either?”

  Molly’s ears burned. She’d asked herself the same question every day. It wasn’t until she was older and adopted by Shelley that she understood her birth mother’s reasons.

  “When I was your age, I believed the same thing. But do you want to know something?”

  Grace inched closer to Molly. “Yeah,” she whispered.

  “I always wondered who would adopt me when my own mother didn’t even want me in her life.”

  “I think the same thing.” Grace’s back straightened.

  Molly had been afraid of this. She wanted to take Grace into her arms and tell her she was wanted. That she was loved. But she had to be careful. Building Grace’s trust was crucial. In Grace’s eyes, Molly was another adult who couldn’t be trusted.

  “I know it’s what you think, sweetie.” She reached over for the child’s hand.

  Grace didn’t pull away. She gazed down at their hands coupled as one and then a smile parted her lips.

  A warmth like Molly had never felt traveled through her arm and straight to her heart. Was she finally having a breakthrough with Grace?

  “Every time I go into a new foster home, the people act like they want me to be a part of their family. Then they turn out to be like my mommy and return me.”

  Molly’s heart broke for the child. She’d been in Grace’s shoes. A place no child deserved to be.

  “Can I tell you something I learned?”

  Grace shrugged.

  “Once I got older, I realized my birth mother did love me.”

  Grace’s brow crinkled. “How do you know? Did you see her again? Do you think I might see my mommy? I don’t even know what she looks like.”

  “No, I never saw my mother, but the fact she chose to give me up for adoption is proof she did love me.”

  Grace’s face was expressionless. “But how could throwing you away mean she loved you?”

  “She didn’t throw me away, sweetie. My mother wanted me to have a better life than she could provide. She was young and scared, and she realized adoption would give me more opportunities in life. And she was right.”

  Molly considered Grace. This was a lot to take in for someone her age, but the child appeared wise beyond her years.

  “Did you end up with a good mommy?”

  “The best. But it took a long time. Like you, I went from one home to another before I met my forever family.” The similarities between her and Grace were chilling.

  Grace placed her elbows on top of the table and rested her chin in the palms of her hands. “I get tired of moving. I want my own room with bookshelves filled with books and a dog like Duke.”

  “I want it for you, too, sweetie.” She took in a deep breath. “I’d like to give you all of that and more, Grace.”

  Children’s laughter carried through the store. The overhead light buzzed.

  Grace focused her attention on the mother and daughter nibbling on cookies at the snack table. She looked back and met Molly’s gaze. “Honest? You want to be my mommy?” Her tiny eyes flickered with hope.

  Molly’s eyes brimmed with tears. She’d never wanted something more in her life. “Yes, more than anything.”

  Grace stared at Molly as though she was seeking truth in the adult eyes. During her short life, she probably hadn’t encountered many truthful adults.

  “Don’t you want a baby? That’s what everyone wants.” The bell chimed over the front door, and Grace pivoted her head. “Mr. Derek!” She sprang from her chair and raced to him.

  Molly’s gut twisted. No. She wasn’t ready for the conversation to be over. A wave of pain washed over her. She didn’t want to adopt an infant. It was Grace who’d captured her heart from the moment she’d read her life story. God had brought Grace into her life for a purpose. Oh, sweet baby girl, I’ll give you the family you deserve. It might not be perfect, but you’ll be loved. I promise.

  * * *

  Derek tapped the backspace key on his laptop for the fifth time. After he’d picked up Mark from the airport and got him settled in the guest room, he’d been alone with his thoughts about his father and Molly. She’d avoided him the previous night when he’d come into the bookstore, but tomorrow that would be impossible.

  Exhaling a long breath, he couldn’t put it off any longer. He had to respond to his mother’s email. Hunkered at the kitchen table, he rambled on about his new store. He explained how he’d been helping Molly and told her about his opportunity to purchase the space from Rusty. He also shared he wasn’t able to get a large enough loan but had no plans to give up. Derek even wrote about Grace. How seeing her and Molly together was making him question his strong aversion to having a family, but he was still afraid to open his heart to the possibility of more pain. He’d left the hardest part—addressing her concerns about his relationship with his father—to last. She’d mentioned he was ill. How sick was he?

  Footsteps sounded. The loose floorboard down the hall creaked.

  Seconds later, Mark peeked his head into the room. “You’re up late.” The ice maker clunked, dropping cubes into the bin.

  Derek pulled his eyes from the device. “I could say the same to you.”

  “No, I’m still on West Coast time.”

  “Right. Can I get you something?” Derek offered.

  “I’m good. Thanks, though.” Mark pulled out a chair and took a seat. “I guess being your own boss is a twenty-four-hour job.”

  “Actually, this is personal business. I’m writing to my mother.” Derek explained the contents of his email. Mark was a good friend. He trusted him. Derek also shared how important it was to him to help Molly save her store.

  “You could always ask your father to loan you the money,” Mark suggested as he twirled a pen lying on the table.

  After Derek had learned the truth about his father, he’d made the decision that he would never accept any financial help from him. “I’m not sure I could do that.”

  Mark nodded. “Not ready to forgive him yet?”

  “It’s complicated. I seem to waffle back and forth. I’m not sure I’ll ever forget what he did.”

  “What about your mother? Didn’t she move on?”

  Learning his mother was dating had been a big adjustment, especially when she announced she was marrying her high school sweetheart. Der
ek had been speechless. “Yes, she has. She forgave my father and never looked back. She remarried five months ago.”

  “How do you feel about that?” Mark’s eyebrows arched.

  “At first, I struggled with it, but she’s been through so much. All I want is for her to be happy. Of course, I’m keeping a close eye on this guy.” Derek laughed. “Seriously, he’s a great man, and he makes my mother happy. That’s the important thing. I keep thinking, if she can move on, why can’t I?” Derek had prayed for strength, but when it came to his father, he felt like a scared little boy.

  “When was the last time you spoke with him?” Mark pushed away from the table and walked toward the refrigerator. “Do you want a bottle of water?”

  At this moment, he could drink a gallon. Talking about his father sapped his energy. But was it making him feel better? “Sure. I haven’t spoken to him since he sprang the news on me and my mother—over two years ago.”

  “It goes fast, doesn’t it?” Mark passed him the water and took his seat.

  Derek nodded. “It sure does. The sad thing is, I miss him.”

  “Why would you say it’s sad?”

  “Because look what he did. Not only to me, but to my mother. How could I miss someone who ripped my family apart?”

  “Look, Derek. I won’t pretend to be an expert on the subject, but you need to let this go. I never made peace with my father, and now it’s too late.”

  Derek remembered going to the funeral for Mark’s father. The man had been diagnosed with cancer, and three months later, he was gone. Derek was aware Mark had had a strained relationship with his father, but he didn’t know the details. “I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks. Listen, buddy, I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m giving you fair warning. If you don’t make peace with your father, it will eat you alive. I’m living proof. I would give anything for the opportunity to tell my father I forgive him—to sit down and talk. It’s too late for me.” Mark took a long swig from his bottle of water. “Don’t let it pass for you, too. I’m going to hit the hay. Let’s hope for a big day tomorrow.” Mark rose from the table and patted his friend’s shoulder.