Outrageous

by Marie Force

They lead us to a cubicle at the end of a long hallway, where Leah is being tended to by a white-haired nurse. That white hair comforts me, as it means experience, and I want Leah to get the best of everything. It takes a second for me to work up the courage to look directly at the woman in the bed, the dynamo who inserted herself squarely into the center of my life.

  I go to her, drawn to her the way I have been from the beginning. Leaning over her bed, I kiss the side of her forehead not covered by a bandage. “I’m here,” I tell her. “I’m right here. Marlowe is here, too. Everyone is.”

  I look at Marlowe across the bed, see the concern etched into her expression and close my eyes against a rush of tears. I’m wrecked at the sight of the life force known as Leah in a hospital bed. Seeing her pale and still is so wrong, so totally wrong.

  Marlowe places a hand on Leah’s shoulder. “You need to wake up, Leah,” she says. “I need my Addie. You’ve made yourself completely indispensable to me these last few months, and I won’t last a day without you.”

  I sit in a chair next to the bed, take hold of Leah’s hand and bring it to my lips. I breathe in the lingering scent of her lotion, that scent of her that’s so distinctive, as tears slide down my cheeks. I can’t bear this. I’m there a long time, aware of the others coming in one by one to see Leah, of Natalie weeping and Flynn leading her out, of doctors in and out, nurses, beeping in nearby cubicles, the smell of antiseptic and the hint of panic all around me as hours go by without her so much as stirring.

  They move her upstairs at six, the time we’d set to meet up for her first surfing lesson. I’d told her the water would be freezing, and she said she didn’t care. She wanted to try it. She wanted to try everything. My fearless, spirited girl. I love her so fucking much.

  I want to beg her to come back to me, to mouth off to me, to tease me, to laugh at me, to hit me in the eye with a butt plug. I’d take whatever I could get at this point.

  I’d give her anything, literally anything she asked for, if only she would open those big blue eyes that betray her every thought and emotion and look at me again like I hung the moon just for her. No one has ever looked at me the way she does. Ever.

  They settle her into a room in ICU. That she requires that level of care only further shreds my already frayed nerves. Why would they bring her to the ward for the most critically ill patients if she wasn’t in bad shape? I ask the kindly older nurse who accompanied us upstairs that question.

  “We just want to keep a close eye on her,” she says. “Head injuries can be unpredictable.”

  How well I already know that.

  “Why won’t she wake up?”

  “She took a heck of a hit. It can take time for her to come back from that. I’m going down to the ER, but you’ll be in good hands here. I’ll pray for your friend.”

  I want to tell the woman that Leah is so much more than my friend. But I only nod and mutter my thanks and keep my focus on Leah, trying to contain the panic that wants to overwhelm me. Not that long ago, I thought she was too young for me, too vanilla, too much. And now that I know her so much better, I can’t believe I ever thought she was anything other than perfect for me.

  In the hours that follow, I relive every minute we’ve spent together, wallowing in the bickering, the irritation, the arousal, the sublime pleasure, the laughter. God, she makes me laugh like no one else ever has.

  “Baby, please,” I whisper, leaning over the bed so I’m as close to her as I can get. “Please wake up.” I kiss her face, her cute little nose, the freckles. Those fucking freckles… They slay me. I kiss her lips, wishing she would say something to piss me off just so she can tell me I’m sexy when I’m pissed. “Leah, come back to me. This isn’t funny. You can’t do this to me. You know what I went through with Elena. Don’t you dare do this.”

  Kristian comes in to check on me. I’m aware of him and the others coming in and out, but I have nothing to say to anyone but her. I speak only to Leah, begging her to wake up.

  In the bright fluorescent light of the windowless ICU, it’s hard to know what time it is, but time ceases to matter. I have no idea how long I’m there, kissing her, talking to her, pleading with her. I’m so close to her face that the flutter of her eyelashes on my face electrifies me. It is the single best feeling I’ve ever experienced.

  “Leah.”

  She licks her lips and moans.

  “Baby, wake up. It’s Emmett. I’m here. Wake up and come back to me. Please come back to me.”

  “Em.”

  Nothing has ever made me happier than hearing her call me by name, even if it’s just a piece of my name. It tells me everything I need to know, that she’s still in there, still here, still mine. “Yes, it’s me. You were in an accident, but you’re okay now. You’re going to be okay.”

  “Hurts.”

  “I know, sweetheart.” I’m sobbing. I can’t help it. She’s ruined me and made a hot mess of my previously well-ordered life. This dreadful day has shown me that I’m nothing without her. I wipe my face with the sleeve of my suitcoat and kiss her lips. “Let me get the nurse to give you something for the pain.”

  She tightens her hold on my hand. “Don’t go.”

  “I’ll come right back. I promise.”

  She lets me go, and I move quickly to alert the nurse at the desk outside her room that she’s awake and in pain.

  “I’ll be right in.”

  I want to tell the friends who’re in the waiting room that she’s awake, but my need for her trumps everything else. I return to her, resume my post by her bed and take hold of her hand, fearing that maybe she’s gone again.

  But her eyes open, and she blinks me into focus. “What happened?”

  “You got run off the road. Gordon’s guys saw it happen.”

  “Was it… Was it Tom?”

  The fear I see in her eyes guts me. “We don’t know yet. They got the plate number, and the cops are looking for him.” I kiss her hand. “I should’ve made you call the cops the first time you told me about him. Maybe if I did…”

  Her eyes close, and her voice is weaker than usual. “You’re doing it again.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault. I could’ve called the police about him, but I didn’t.”

  Natalie appears at the door, hears Leah talking and lets out a happy cry.

  “Hey,” Leah says, smiling at her friend. “You’re here.”

  “We’re all here,” Natalie says, moving to the other side of Leah’s bed.

  “You didn’t call Hayden and Addie, did you?”

  “No,” I tell her. “We all agreed not to.”

  “Good,” she says, relieved as her eyes close again.

  The nurse comes in and gives her something for the pain that knocks her out. “She’ll be sleeping for a while if you want to take a break.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” Not as long as she’s in that bed and the guy who put her there is still on the loose. Hours pass, someone brings me food that I eat without tasting anything. Flynn and Jasper insist on taking Natalie and Ellie home to rest, and after they leave, I tell the others to go, too. “I’ll be here, and I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

  “I’ll stick around,” Marlowe says.

  “You’re leaving for France tomorrow,” I remind her.

  “I already told them I’m not coming until later in the week.”

  “Leah will be mad that you did that because of her.”

  “Leah’s not the boss of me,” she says, smiling, but I can see the exhaustion in her eyes. “Are you okay, Em?”

  “I’m better than I was, but…” I shake my head.

  “I know. It was pretty scary for a while there.”

  “I’m not cut out for this.”

  “For what?”

  “For caring this much. I don’t know how to do it.”

  “You’re doing great. You haven’t left her side in hours. You were right here when she needed yo
u.”

  “I should’ve called the cops about this guy sooner. I knew he was bugging her, but I told her to block him. I should’ve done more.”

  “We don’t even know for sure yet that it was him. Why’re you doing this to yourself? It’s not your fault that this happened. And it wasn’t your fault that Elena got hurt, either, even if you don’t believe it.”

  “I’ll never believe that me confronting Drew didn’t play a part in what happened.”

  “Not your fault,” Leah mumbles.

  Her voice is like a live wire connected directly to my heart, which jolts with pleasure at the sound of her voice.

  “She’s right,” Marlowe says. “That wasn’t your fault and neither is this. As much as you’d like to think you can control what other people do, you can’t. No one can.”

  “What she said,” Leah says, gesturing to Marlowe and then wincing when the movement causes her pain.

  “What hurts?” I ask her.

  “My head feels like it’s going to explode if I move even the slightest bit.”

  “Then stay still.” I know I sound bitchy, as she would say, but I can’t help it. I’m dangling at the end of my rope.

  “Trying to, but breathing requires movement.”

  “Don’t mind him,” Marlowe says, frowning at me. “He’s overwrought. Caring about someone the way he cares about you is taxing for him.”

  I scowl at Marlowe, even though she speaks the truth. I said all along I wasn’t cut out for this relationship nonsense. Leah should’ve listened to me when I told her she could do better than me. I’ll be here for her as long as she’s in the hospital, but the minute she’s back on her feet, I need to take a step back to preserve my own sanity.

  I can feel him losing his shit and melting down right next to my bed. This is bad, but I can’t do much about it while it hurts to breathe. My ribs and chest hurt, my wrist is braced and aching like crazy, and my whole body feels like it was run over by a truck.

  The nurse says they’ll move me to a regular room tomorrow, after I’ve been monitored for twenty-four hours due to the head injury.

  “You don’t have to stay,” I tell him when Marlowe goes to get coffee for them.

  “I told you I’m not going anywhere.”

  Every word hurts me, but I’m more concerned about him than I am about myself. I can’t begin to imagine how awful this must’ve been for him. Even if he’s trying to project an I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude, I know he gives all the fucks about me, and that’s the problem. He doesn’t know how to handle that, and my accident happened at the worst possible time, right when we were making a big step toward something significant together.

  I’ll never forgive Tom for screwing that up. I’ve begun to remember details of the accident that I need to share with the cops. It was him. I recognized his car. I take a deep breath. “Emmett.”

  He turns from his spot in front of the window where he was staring out into darkness. He’s removed his suit coat and tie and rolled up his shirtsleeves. “I’m here.”

  “Are the cops still around?” I keep my eyes closed, which seems to help the pounding in my head.

  “I don’t know. Why?”

  “It was Tom. I recognized the car.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yeah.”

  With my eyes closed, I hear the rustle of fabric as he withdraws his phone from his pants pocket and then his voice. “This is Emmett Burke. I’m with Leah Holt in the hospital, and she saw the car. It was definitely him.” He listens. “Okay. Let me know.” He ends the call. “They already knew it was him because they were able to tie the plate number that Gordon’s guys gave them to him. They’ve issued an APB, and the entire LAPD is looking for him.” His phone chimes with a text that leads to a gasp.

  “What?”

  “I, uh, fuck.” All the air seems to leave him in a long exhale. “Liza texted me,” he says, referring to Quantum’s head publicist. “The press has picked up on the story of Marlowe’s assistant being run off the road in Malibu.”

  “Do they have my name?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I have to call my father.” I rarely talk to him, but I wouldn’t want him to hear about my accident in the media.

  “I’ll call him. What’s his number?”

  I recite it for him and listen as he tells my dad what happened.

  “He wants to talk to you. Do you feel up to it?”

  I start to nod but stop myself. I raise my hand to take the phone from Emmett. “Hi, Dad.”

  “Hi, honey. Are you all right?”

  “I will be. The concussion is no fun and the fractured wrist will be a drag, but it could’ve been worse.”

  “I’m so thankful it wasn’t. Is there anything I can do for you?”

  “No, I’m fine, and my friends are around.”

  “Who was that who called me?”

  “My, um, friend Emmett. We work together.”

  Emmett’s eyes narrow into that feral look of his when I describe him as my “friend.”

  “I can come out if that would help.”

  “No need for that, Dad. I’m totally fine, and I’ll have lots of people around when I get out of the hospital.”

  “Will you call me tomorrow and let me know how you are?”

  “I will, for sure.”

  “Okay. I, um… I love you, Leah. I’m so glad you’re all right.”

  I always knew he loved me, but I’ve never heard him say it. “Love you, too.” I blink back tears. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Talk to you then.”

  Emmett takes the phone from me and ends the call. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  Using a tissue, he wipes away my tears. His tenderness makes my heart do somersaults.

  “He said he loves me.”

  “You didn’t already know that?”

  “I did, but he’s never actually said it before.”

  “You told him I was your friend.”

  “What else should I call you?” I ask, enjoying the scowl that I’ve come to love so much.

  “Your live-in lover?”

  “Ewww. That’s so gross.”

  “Nothing gross about it, baby.”

  “The word ‘lover’ is disgusting.”

  “Okay, how about live-in fuck buddy. Is that better?”

  “Much, but I don’t think I should tell my dad that.”

  “Probably better if you don’t.” He takes my hand, links our fingers, kisses my hand, and damn if I don’t feel all the usual chaos inside me when his lips brush against my skin.

  “You should go home and get some sleep.” I’m concerned about how done in he seems.

  “I’m not going anywhere as long as you’re here and that asshole is still out there somewhere.”

  “I want you to get some rest. Come lie with me.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t.” It pains me greatly to move to the far left side of the bed, where my injured wrist is propped on a pillow.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Uh-huh,” I say, breathing through the pain.

  He kills the light, kicks off his shoes and moves gingerly to stretch out next to me, turning onto his side and putting his arm around my waist. “Is this okay?”

  “This is perfect.”

  “Way too much hospital shit in this relationship.”

  “Look at you, throwing the R word around.”

  “Shut your sassy mouth and get some sleep.”

  Smiling, I close my eyes, and even though my head is pounding and my broken wrist is aching, my heart is in better shape than it’s ever been. My dad loves me. Emmett loves me. Overall, this day is a win.

  “Emmett,” I whisper after a long silence. I’m not sure if he’s still awake.

  “Hmm.”

  “You’re not going to freak out and run away, are you?”

  “I’m still here, aren’t I?”

  “Because they haven’t found
Tom.”

  “That’s not the only reason.”

  “If you start to freak out, you have to tell me.”

  “I freaked out earlier when I didn’t know if you were okay.”

  “Everything is all right now.”

  “Promise?”

  I put my good hand over his and squeeze. “I promise.”

  Chapter 22

  I take my lead from Leah, who is amazing. Even with a concussion and a broken wrist, she’s funny and calm and completely herself, which is a huge relief to me. She’s doing so well that they decide to release her late the next day, after I promise to bring her home with me and take care of her. There’s nothing else I want to do.

  Flynn and Natalie go to Nebraska without me. Neither of them wanted to leave with Leah still in the hospital, but Natalie has to be there to testify tomorrow, so they had no choice.

  Leah and I arrive at my place, and I won’t let her do anything more strenuous than walk from the car to my bed where I set her up on a pile of pillows and prop her injured wrist on another pillow.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Not really.”

  “What else do you need?”

  “Maybe some ice water?”

  “Coming right up.”

  I’m filling a glass with ice and water when a tidal wave of emotion and relief and love comes over me. When I think about what could have happened, I go weak in the knees.

  I’ve never cared about anyone the way I do about her.

  “Emmett.”

  I take a deep breath and pull myself together because she needs me. It’ll be a very long time before I can think about yesterday without my hands shaking and my blood running cold, but I gather my composure so she won’t know how messed up I am. Taking the glass of ice water with me, I return to the bedroom. She’s still frighteningly pale, but her eyes are open and alert.

  “What’s wrong?” she asks after I hand over the water.

  Cue the deer in the headlights. How did I think I could hide anything from this person who sees me the way no one else ever has? “Nothing.”

  “Come here.” She pats the bed next to her.

  I’m careful not to jostle her when I stretch out next to her. “I’m here.”

  “I can feel you spinning.”