Help Me, Hold Me

by Barbara Gee

  Boone nodded emphatically. “You’ll be inspired, I can promise you that. You’re going to meet some incredible men and women.” Then he’d clapped Vince on the back. “Have fun at the Green’s. And remember. You’re just there for the horses.”

  “Right. The horses.” Vince had repeated with a sheepish grin.

  He really was looking forward to seeing Jeremiah’s prized animals, but no matter how impressive they might be, it wouldn’t be easy to focus on them if Callie was around. The girl had a way of eclipsing everything else.

  He was serious about giving her some space, but it wasn’t going to be easy. In fact, it had already been a challenge. He’d been tempted to text her as soon as he got up that morning. To tell her he was thinking of her and hoped Jeremiah had had a good night. Her tears from the evening before, when she’d told him Jeremiah was dying, were still fresh in his mind, and he just wanted her to know he cared.

  But in the end, he’d decided to wait and see if she made an effort to reach out to him instead…..even though he was really afraid she wouldn’t.

  When her text had come in after lunch, he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, which was how Boone had found out about his plans to go back to the Double Nickel.

  Now, dressed in his finest imitation cowboy gear, Vince was finally on his way.

  ***

  In spite of being insanely nervous about Vince’s impending arrival, Callie had forced herself into a couple hours of productive work. She now had the records caught up through March, and her folder of spreadsheets was growing.

  She had also remembered to wake Jeremiah at three-fifteen. She’d taken him a cup of tea then returned to the kitchen before he could pick up on her jumpiness. It was maddening that a simple visit by Vince could get her so riled up—especially when she only planned to see him for a few minutes.

  Ten minutes before four o’clock she stuck her head in the living room. “I’m going to go get the Gator and park it by door so it’ll be ready for you.”

  Jeremiah was watching a news program on TV and he simply waved a hand in acknowledgment. Callie walked outside to the far end of the detached garage where they kept the Gator parked. She checked to make sure it had plenty of gas in case Jeremiah wanted to go on a ride through the fields after seeing the horses, then she drove it around back of the house, making a circle back out to the lane.

  Movement caught her eye as she rounded the end of the house, eliciting a quiet groan. Just her luck. Vince was here five minutes early, and there was no hiding. She hit the brakes to let him go by, giving a small wave when he drove past. He parked a little way past the kitchen door, leaving her plenty of room to pull up on the grass, right outside the door.

  She got out of the Gator and waited nervously by the steps. She was determined to be hospitable—but only that. She’d welcome him, hand Jeremiah over, and get rid of him.

  Then he got out of the car and slapped a big hat on his head, and her careful, polite smile grew into more. If any city-boy could pull off brand new, shiny cowboy boots and a fresh off the shelf Stetson, it would be Vince Abbot—but even for him it was a stretch, and she couldn’t stop her grin.

  “Thanks for coming,” she said, trying to focus on the silly hat and boots and not the very attractive man in between.

  He stopped when he was a few feet away, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You’re laughing at me,” he stated, a flicker of humor showing in his eyes even though his face was stern. “It was either these new boots, tennis shoes, or Vans. What would you have chosen for a visit to a ranch to look at horses?”

  “Definitely the boots,” She replied, making him smile in relief. “But I’d have scuffed them up a little. Or maybe a lot. And rubbed a little dust into the hat.”

  He looked pained. “I’ve gotta start somewhere,” he said.

  Callie relented with a soft laugh. “Don’t worry about it, I’d look just as awkward in skates and a helmet. I’ll give you points for making the effort.”

  He looked down at her, one brow raising slightly. “I’m going to ignore the fact that you called me awkward, and say I think you’d look pretty darn good in skates and a helmet. Maybe I could find you an Abbot jersey to top things off.”

  “Oh, I already have a jersey.” She turned and started up the steps, looking back over her shoulder. “It says Kendall on it, though,” she added with a wicked smile. Actually, she had one of each, his and Boone’s, but he didn’t need to know that.

  He chuckled and followed her inside, taking off his hat and hanging it on one of the pegs by the door, as if he’d done it a hundred times before.

  “Um, I’ll go get Grandpa,” she said hastily, remembering her resolve to get him in and out as quickly as possible.

  At the same time, he said, “Do I smell cookies?”

  Callie stopped and pointed at the large Tupperware container on the counter. “Help yourself. They’re my grandpa’s favorite. I wanted to trick him into getting some extra calories.”

  Vince didn’t need to be told twice—he peeled the lid up and took three. “I take it his appetite isn’t good?” he asked, biting into the first one.

  She shook her head. “No. It’s tough trying to make sure he eats enough because he’s never hungry.”

  Vince held up his handful of cookies. “Well if these don’t tempt him, nothing will. They’re fantastic, Callie. I’ve never had this kind before.”

  “They’re monster cookies,” she said helpfully. “I’ll send some home with you.”

  “I won’t turn ’em down,” he stated, leaning back against the counter and taking another bite.

  Callie smiled and headed to the living room to get Jeremiah, glad to have a moment away from Vince to regroup. Less than two minutes spent in his presence and her stomach was already a fluttering mess.

  “Vince is here,” she announced, holding out her hand to help Jeremiah out of his chair. “You sure you still feel like going out to the barn?”

  “I’m sure,” he said, taking her hand and heaving himself to his feet. “I’ve been looking forward to it.”

  Callie tilted her head and gave him a knowing smile. “Because you can’t wait to wow the big-city boy with your beautiful horses?”

  He grunted and straightened his shirt. “That, and it’s refreshing to talk to someone who hangs on my every word.”

  Callie laughed. “That’s because he fancies himself a cowboy for the summer, right down to his new boots and hat. I’m sure he’s anxious to learn as much as he can from the real thing.”

  “Smart man,” Jeremiah quipped as he walked slowly toward the kitchen.

  The two men greeted each other and Callie could tell Vince was genuinely glad to see Jeremiah again. The older man good naturedly accused Vince of eating his supply of cookies.

  Vince popped the last bite into his mouth and chewed. “That whole container is full of cookies. You won’t miss one or two.” He gave Callie a sheepish look. “Or five.”

  Jeremiah gave a cackling laugh, the first Callie had heard in far too long. Her heart swelled and her eyes filled, and she quickly crossed the room to the refrigerator.

  “Do you want something to drink, Vince?” she asked, needing a moment to compose herself. Oh how she had missed that laugh.

  “A glass of water would be great,” he said.

  She grabbed a bottle and tossed it to him. “That’s better than a glass, you can take it with you.”

  “Thanks,” he said, his white teeth flashing in a smile as he unscrewed the cap. “You ready to go show me some prime horseflesh, Jeremiah?”

  The older man grinned. “You won’t know what hit you,” he promised. “Double Nickel horses are a sight to behold.”

  “I won’t be hard to impress, considering I know next to nothing about them. But I’ve got a nice pair of boots and a danged expensive hat to help me play the part.”

  Jeremiah laughed again and motioned for Vince to follow him to the door. Callie was so grateful to Vince for bringing out t
he laugh—if he continued to have that effect on her grandpa, she just might be willing to put her own discomfort aside and welcome him to the ranch as often as he wanted to come.

  She walked behind them to the doorway and watched as Vince put on his hat and then took Jeremiah’s arm and helped him down the steps and into the Gator. The older man didn’t show any sign of being self-conscious about needing the help, which was surprising to Callie. She would have expected him to feel acutely uncomfortable in the presence of a man as big and powerful as Vince, but although the contrast between them was marked, Jeremiah appeared perfectly at ease.

  Callie thought perhaps it was because Vince hadn’t known him when he was healthy, and thus he didn’t show any sorrow at the drastic change. It was too easy for Jeremiah to interpret sorrow as pity, which made it hard for him to have his long-term friends around.

  If she was honest, she had to admit she probably gave off that same vibe more often than not. It was hard not to mourn the loss of the strong, independent man who had raised her. Vince, on the other hand, simply accepted the way Jeremiah was now as normal, and Callie could understand why that was refreshing. She silently vowed to do better at accepting what was, rather than longing for what they’d lost.

  Vince looked back at her once Jeremiah was settled in his seat. “You’re not coming?” he asked.

  “No, I’m going to get some work done in the house. The guy who takes care of the horses is out in the barn, though. He can help if you need anything.”

  Vince nodded and circled around the back of the Gator. “I’ll be back for the cookies,” he promised, looking at her over the roof of the vehicle before sliding his long body behind the wheel. “Here we go, Jeremiah. You tell me where.”

  They took off and Callie watched the whole way. The stable was in view of the house, but barely. She could just make out Vince getting out of the Gator, going around to help Jeremiah, and then they both disappeared inside.

  Her sigh was long and heart-felt. Why did Vince have to be so nice?

  She closed her eyes, picturing his handsome face and the way his blue eyes warmed when he smiled at her. Was it possible he felt the same attraction she did? It seemed crazy to even think it, but he had made quite an effort to see her again, showing up with a pizza when she’d refused to acknowledge his texts. That indicated there was at least a little interest on his part, didn’t it?

  It also indicated he wasn’t the type of man who would easily give up on something he wanted. If that something was indeed her, Callie could only hope she’d be strong enough to resist his charm. Strong enough to protect her heart.

  It was sad it had to be that way. Sad that the one man she couldn’t allow herself to have was apparently the one she wanted.

  CHAPTER 8

  “I have to say, Jeremiah, except for the fact that they’re different colors, and the black one is a little bigger, they look pretty much the same to me. What makes the red one so special?”

  Jeremiah stroked Apollo’s nose fondly. “This one’s got the potential to be a champion cuttin’ horse. There was a time when I could’ve made him into that myself, but not anymore.”

  Quinn walked up beside them and hung his elbows over the stall door. “I’ve been working with him, but I don’t have Jeremiah’s skills. Apollo needs more than I can give him.”

  “It’ll be a shame to see him go,” Jeremiah said regretfully. “He’s the kind of colt you dream about. But it’s what’s best for him. He’ll be a great competition horse, and we’ll find an owner who can give him that opportunity.”

  “I’m sorry you’ll have to part with him.”

  Jeremiah waved a hand. “I’ve sold hundreds of horses over the years. Some I was glad to see the last of, others took a little piece of my heart with ’em. Like Apollo here will. But it’s what we do. It’s a business, and I’ve enjoyed it immensely over the years. Even when I have to part with my favorites.”

  “Show me the rest of them,” Vince requested.

  They walked slowly down the two aisles in the stable, greeting every horse, then to the corral out back where a few more horses were enjoying the afternoon sunshine. Jeremiah’s two full-time ranch hands rode up while they were out there, and introductions were made.

  Vince good-naturedly made fun of his too-shiny boots and spotless hat before they could mention them, and the men laughed a little, but not too much. Turned out Sam and Lance were two more of Barlow’s hockey fans, thanks to Boone, and they were a little too star-struck to mock Vince’s summer cowboy aspirations.

  The five men talked for a little while, but Vince could tell Jeremiah was tiring. A glance from Quinn told him he had noticed as well.

  “Sorry to cut this short,” Vince said, “but there are fresh cookies in the house and I can’t stop thinking about them. You ready to head back, Jeremiah?”

  “S’pose I might as well. Don’t want to overdo it and pay the price later.” He shook all the mens’ hands. “Thanks for keepin’ the place going for me, fellas.”

  “You bet, Jeremiah,” Lance said. “We’ve got it under control out there. The calves are lookin’ real good.”

  “You need anything, let me or Callie know. And Quinn, you keep on keepin’ on,” Jeremiah said, slapping the young man on the shoulder. “I’ll be back to harass you some more another day.”

  “I look forward to it,” Quinn said, grinning.

  Vince walked with the older man to the door and held it open for him. “Looks like you’ve got a good group handling things,” he said.

  “They’re good men,” Jeremiah agreed. “I just hope they stick around when Callie has to take over. It’ll make for extra stress on her if she has to hire new people. I hate the thought of that.”

  “They don’t seem the type to leave her in the lurch,” Vince said, waiting until Jeremiah was settled in the Gator before walking around to the driver’s side.

  “If they know she’s committed to keeping the place goin’, I think they’ll stay. They know she’ll treat ’em fair. But she spent some time in Minneapolis two years ago, and most people think she only came home because she didn’t want to leave me here all by myself. The men might be afraid she’ll leave again once I’m gone.”

  “You don’t think she will though?” Vince asked as he started the vehicle and turned it toward the house.

  “I got no reason to think so at this point. I’m the one who encouraged her to give the city a real try, just to make sure the Double Nickel is where she wants to be. So she humored me and tried it, and she couldn’t wait to come back.”

  “How long did she stay in Minneapolis?”

  “Six months.” Jeremiah chuckled. “She was hankerin’ to come home after one, but I told her she might as well stick it out until she was good and sure. She had a good job at some kind of computer place, and I thought maybe once she got more used to being away, she’d decide it wasn’t so bad after all.”

  “So you made her to stay?”

  He laughed again. “I encouraged her to stay. Told her to give it a fair shot, and then she’d know for sure where she wanted to settle.”

  “How’d you do here without her?”

  “I was miserable,” Jeremiah admitted readily. “That girl has been my sun and moon for over twenty years, but I’ve always wanted what’s best for her. I didn’t want her to feel trapped here, not if there was any part of her that yearned for city life.”

  “And you’re sure now? This is where she wants to be?”

  “Well, she seems to be sure, and I reckon that’s all that counts.”

  “Must be in her blood. Just like yours.” Vince looked over at Jeremiah with a smile, surprised when he saw what looked like a flash of pain cross his face.

  “It’s in her heart, at any rate,” he said softly.

  Vince waited to see if he’d explain, but the other man stayed silent. “Well, at least now you know,” he said to move past it.

  “Yep.”

  Vince parked the Gator by the kitchen door,
right where Callie had put it. He started to get out, but Jeremiah hadn’t moved. He was just sitting there, staring straight ahead.

  “You okay, Jeremiah?” Vince asked gently. “Do you need me to get Callie?”

  “Nope, I’m okay. Just thinkin’ about how hard things are gonna be for her when I’m gone.”

  Vince was uncomfortable talking about the man’s death when he didn’t know much about his illness. He was too afraid of saying the wrong thing.

  He glanced at the kitchen door, hoping Callie had seen them drive up and would come out.

  Jeremiah finally spoke again. “I’ve got a big decision to make, and probably not much time to make it.” He was still staring straight ahead, the pained expression back and lingering this time.

  Vince shifted in his seat, willing that door to open. “Is it something about Callie?” he asked.

  Jeremiah nodded slowly. “There’s something only I know. If I don’t tell her, the secret will die with me.”

  Vince cleared his throat, wondering why the man was telling him this. “Okay, well, is it something she’d want to know?”

  “That’s the hundred-dollar question, and truth is, I don’t know the answer.” Jeremiah shook his head sadly. “I’ve kept it from her ever since I found out almost a year ago. I fully intended to take it to my grave, because it’s the kind of thing that’ll cause her some pain.” He was silent for a long moment. “But lately I’ve been rethinking that. I don’t know if it’s fair to keep her in the dark.”

  Vince rubbed his hands along his thighs. He didn’t like the idea of Callie learning a secret that was going to cause her more grief than she was already feeling, but it wasn’t his place to give advice. He didn’t know either of them well enough yet.

  He had to respond though, so he went with the obvious. “You know her best. I guess you’ll just have to go with your gut.”

  For a moment Vince thought the man had gone into a sort of trance, but then he gave himself a shake and raised trembling hands to rub his eyes. “I love that girl more than life. I’ve prayed and prayed, trying to find the answer.” He looked over at Vince, his eyes watery. “Are you a believer?” he asked bluntly.