Help Me, Hold Me

by Barbara Gee

  He winced. “You know it’s not, but what if he falls just as hard? Did ya think of that?”

  Callie jumped all over that one. “Okay, let’s say he does—even though it’s crazy talk. He’s not going to give up hockey, which means if I don’t want to spend most of the year alone, I’d have to move to Minneapolis again. That would mean the end of a Green running this place. Is that what you want?”

  Jeremiah wiggled his shoulders, trying to get more comfortable against the pillows. “You’ve been thinking about it, Callie-girl. I can tell you have. That means you’re already feeling something for the boy.” His voice was smug, and his gaze was shrewd. “I knew it.”

  “Oh my word, Grandpa,” she said, throwing up her hands. “Since when have you taken such an interest in this area of my life? You need to stop.”

  His expression grew serious. “I care about every part of your life, my girl. Your happiness is more important than anything else. More than this ranch, even.” He swallowed and closed his eyes briefly before he went on. “Sometimes it’s hard for me to know what’s best for you, and I’m not just talking about your love life. I want to do the right thing by you, but I’m worried about being selfish and letting you down.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, wondering what he could possibly be talking about. “You’ve always put me first, Grandpa. I know that, and so does everyone else who knows us.”

  He shook his head, looking weary now instead of smug. “I’m just second-guessing some things. I suppose that’s normal, considering I don’t have much longer to get it right if it turns out I screwed up.”

  She wanted to ask for specifics, but was afraid that would agitate him more than he already was. “I wouldn’t change a thing,” she assured him instead, meaning it.

  “That’s good to hear,” he replied on a sigh, a tired smile turning up one corner of his mouth. “Anyhow, I’ve got a good feeling about you and Vince. Think hard about those riding lessons, okay?”

  Callie put her hands on her hips, scowling at him even though they both knew she wasn’t really mad. “So, at the age of seventy-five, you’re turning into a match-maker? I didn’t see that one coming, Grandpa.”

  He chuckled. “Me neither. Just be open to it, my girl. Pray about it. Give him a few riding lessons and see how it shakes out.” He picked up the remote control and turned on the TV. “He’s a believer, did you know that? I’m sure he’s praying about it, too.”

  Callie couldn’t hide her surprise. She’d never even considered it, and that made her feel bad because she was stereotyping him again. Being a professional athlete didn’t typically equate to being a Christian, but it wasn’t impossible. Boone Kendall was a prime example.

  “No, I didn’t know that,” she said softly.

  “He has been for a year, and it sounds like Boone Kendall’s the main reason. I’m glad Vince has Virgil and Kay’s boy to look out for him. They’re good people.”

  “That’s something we can agree on,” Callie said. “On that note, goodnight, Grandpa. Promise to call for me if you wake up and can’t get back to sleep.” She gave him a stern look. “I’ll be glad to sit up with you, as long as there’s no more talk about Vince Abbot.”

  “Just promise me you’ll pray about it,” he insisted. “And if you ask me, the riding lessons couldn’t hurt.”

  “I’ll take that under advisement,” she said, giving him a resigned smile as she shook her head. “You’re incorrigible. Good night.”

  “Night, Callie. Hopefully I won’t see you till morning.”

  She hoped for the same. It was amazing how much better they both felt with a solid night’s sleep. She went to the kitchen and rinsed the milk glasses before putting them in the dishwasher. Then she went out the door and settled down on the top step of the deck, staring at the Gator that was still parked in the yard.

  Vince might not be able to ride a horse, but he’d handled that Gator like a pro.

  She remembered her grandfather’s smile as the two had taken off for the barn. Having a city boy to show around had been good for him, and she had a feeling he would indeed sleep well tonight after his excursion.

  Maybe it would be selfish not to give Vince a reason to come around, if that’s what Jeremiah wanted. Or maybe she was merely using that as a convenient excuse to say yes to the riding lessons, because deep down that’s what she wanted to do. She’d been trying to do the smart thing, not the heart thing, but with Jeremiah applying pressure, her resolve was weaker than ever.

  It boiled down to one burning question. Could she survive a summer of Vince Abbot….if that’s all she ended up getting?

  She closed her eyes and breathed an earnest prayer, seeking strength, courage, and clarity. Those were things she prayed for often, but now she had a new reason—a big, handsome, hockey-player-cowboy-wannabe, who didn’t want to take no for an answer.

  When she opened her eyes, she considered what her grandpa had said about Vince being a Christian. Was he praying right now, just like her? It seemed so hard to believe, and yet he’d given her no reason to doubt he was a man of faith and character. Sure, there were some racy things in his past, but when they’d talked that very first morning, he’d pointed out there’d been no questionable stories in a while, which would match with his recent decision to give his life to Christ.

  At any rate, Callie wasn’t the kind of person to dwell on the past. The here and now, and how that impacted her future, were what she was most concerned with.

  So. Where did that leave her?

  She leaned against the deck railing and gazed up at the darkening sky. Maybe figuring out that here and now was a good place to start. Vince was here in Barlow for the summer, and right now he was waiting for an answer about riding lessons. That had to be her first decision.

  After that, she had to consider the future. Whether hers included Vince Abbot, either short or long term, largely depended on her answer to the seemingly simple question about those riding lessons. If she agreed to do it, she was essentially telling him she was willing to entertain the idea of friendship, at the very least. And, if she was going to open herself up that far, it wasn’t a stretch to assume she would be open to more, if things went in that direction.

  Vince would know that. He’d already picked up on the fact that she wasn’t immune to him, and if she opened the door a crack, there was a pretty decent chance he’d decide to push right through it.

  She took her phone from her pocket and stared at it. “How about it, Lord? Can you give me a sign?” she asked out loud.

  Just as she said the last word, her phone dinged and a text from Vince showed on the screen. Callie’s jaw dropped, then she burst out laughing.

  “Okay, God, so I know he had to be typing that text before I actually asked for the sign, but I’m going to pretend it was an immediate answer. If that seems a little desperate, so be it.”

  She nervously opened the message.

  Vince: Are you going to make me go to bed without knowing?

  She smiled as she tapped out her reply.

  Callie: I was planning on it.

  Vince: Ouch

  .

  That made her smile again.

  Callie: I didn’t want to seem too eager.

  Vince: I hope you really are eager. I’m afraid you’re just messing with me though.

  Callie: Wait, what? The great Vince Abbot is AFRAID???

  Vince: Darn right. You’re pretty scary, Callie.

  Callie: Mmm hmm.

  Vince: I’m only fearless when I’m on the ice.

  She didn’t reply for a minute. She wanted to tell him she’d do it—because yes, she really was eager—but as she’d already determined, the decision was about a lot more than riding lessons. Was she ready to go there?

  Callie: What if I say no?

  Vince: Don’t.

  Callie shivered, even though the night was warm.

  Callie: What if I say yes?

  Vince: Do it and we’ll find out.

&nbs
p; Her head fell back as she let out a long, slow breath. Could she do it? Could she not? Was the potential for heartache a good enough reason to chicken out? Or would she end up plagued with the dreaded “what-ifs” and be disappointed in herself for not having the courage to explore whatever it was between them? Because there was something there, and they both knew it.

  She bent over her phone again.

  Callie: I’ll be in the barn at six. If you’re late, I won’t wait.

  Vince: I won’t be late.

  Callie: OK. See you then.

  Vince: Now I can sleep. Night, Callie.

  Callie: Night.

  She slowly lowered her phone, her mind and pulse both racing. It was done. She was excited and terrified, and there was no way she was going to be able to settle her mind down any time soon. She went upstairs to her bedroom and changed into shorts and a tee shirt, then put on her running shoes. Back downstairs, she poked her head into Jeremiah’s room. He was still awake, watching another horse show re-run.

  “I’m gonna go for a run, Grandpa. Be back in half an hour or so. I’ll have my phone, so call if you need me.”

  He glanced at his bedside table to make sure his phone was there. “Okay. Enjoy yourself. Run out some of that stress you’re carrying around.”

  She gave him a pained look. “Annoyance, you mean.”

  She heard him chuckling as she left. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing she’d agreed to teach Vince to ride. Not yet. She’d make him wait until morning, after the first lesson had already taken place.

  Outside, she stretched for a few minutes, then set off down the lane. She’d always loved running at dusk, when the world around her was settling down for the night. It was a peaceful, reflective time….and she had plenty to reflect on today.

  The lane curving through the ranch was almost three miles if she ran all the loops, making it the perfect length. If she didn’t want to go as far, she just cut out the loop around the nearest butte, or the one around the farthest hay barn.

  Tonight, she ran the whole thing at a good clip, returning to the house physically exhausted. After a quick shower she crawled into bed and picked up the book she’d been reading the last few nights. After only a few pages her eyelids began to droop, so she pushed the book away and rolled onto her side.

  Her alarm would go off at five-thirty the next morning, if her grandpa didn’t end up needing her sooner. She told herself she wouldn’t think about Vince Abbot before that.

  Or rather, she would try not to. But if he invaded her dreams, what could she do?

  CHAPTER 10

  Vince didn’t remember ever being quite so excited and nervous. Maybe there had been a few play-off games that came close, but this felt different. When it came to games, he was pretty much in control—the level of his play was a matter of his physical preparedness and his ability to master the mental aspects of a challenging game. It was all up to him, and he liked it that way.

  This time, the only thing he could control was getting to the Double Nickel on time. The rest was up to Callie, both the riding and the path of their friendship. If she had any idea how difficult it was for him to cede that kind of control, it would tell her a lot about how invested he already was.

  He pulled on his boots and studied the glossiness of the leather. Hopefully after today there’d be some well-earned scuffs marring the finish. Maybe even some dust on his hat—but hopefully not from him hitting the dust himself. That would be mortifying.

  The fact he was willing to risk that was yet more proof of his determination to spend time with the green-eyed girl who never seemed to leave his mind.

  He drove through the early morning dimness, appreciating the beauty of North Dakota on a June morning. He figured by the time they got the horses saddled up and ready to go, the sun would be almost all the way up, making for perfect riding conditions.

  He went straight to the barn and parked in a small gravel lot at the end. Two pickups were already there, and he figured the two permanent ranch hands he’d met the day before, Lance and Sam, got an early start more often than not.

  He went in the same door he and Jeremiah had used, instantly hit with the scent of horses, hay, and dust. He found it strangely pleasant. He also liked the cozy feel of the big barn, and walking into it like he knew what he was doing.

  From the outside, the natural wood barn was an impressive structure. It was built to last, first and foremost, but the rooflines and arches were also beautiful in their own way. Inside, the layout was simple and efficient. Most of it was made up of a stable area and an indoor riding ring, but there was also a walled off section used as an equipment repair area. Jeremiah had told him yesterday that there were two separate machine sheds on the property, where the equipment was actually stored, but this barn housed the central repair area, where most of the tools were permanently kept.

  The top level of the barn was still used for horse hay storage, but according to Jeremiah, most of their cattle hay was now baled into large round bales, and stored in long rows at various locations across the ranch.

  Vince walked down the first aisle in the stable area, enjoying the sounds of the snuffling, stamping horses getting ready for the day, probably waiting for breakfast. The stable was immaculately clean, and he thought the horses ought to be pretty darn happy to live in such a place.

  He kept going, scanning each stall for the beautiful girl he couldn’t wait to see. It was five minutes to six, and he figured she was here somewhere, probably getting their tack together—he’d learned that term from Boone—and wondering if he was going to show.

  He didn’t find her in the first aisle, but saw a stall door ajar when he turned down the second one. He walked toward it and was rewarded by the sight of her dark head. She was standing by a big black horse with a white blaze down his face, her small hand smoothing down over his mane. She heard him approach and looked over her shoulder. As usual, his breath hitched at the sight of those eyes.

  Her pink lips curved into a warm smile, and Vince felt a sense of relief. He’d been afraid she might be regretting her agreement to put up with him this morning.

  “Good morning,” she said when he hung his elbows over the stall door. “Meet your ride, Edison.”

  “This is the one I’ll be on?” Vince tried not to show his apprehension, but he wasn’t sure how successful he was. “Um, he’s a pretty big horse,” he said, pointing out the obvious.

  “You’re a pretty big man,” Callie returned, her eyes twinkling with humor.

  “Is he more patient than he looks?” Vince asked as the horse tossed his head and then approached him, stretching out his neck to sniff and snort, processing the unfamiliar smell of a stranger.

  Callie put her hands on her slim hips, her smile still in place. “Vince, you’re one of my favorite hockey players, and the key to the Wild winning the Stanley Cup next year. Do you really think I’d risk putting you on a wild horse and getting you injured?”

  He grinned and stroked his palm down the white blaze on Edison’s broad face. “I guess I’ll have to trust you on that.”

  She patted the horse’s flank. “Old Eddie here is in great shape, but he’s also sixteen years old. He’s healthy and eager to go, but not exactly the energetic fella of his youth. He won’t run unless you ask him to, and even then he won’t want to go for long. You’ll be comfortable with him, I promise.”

  Vince nodded. “Sounds good to me. You gonna teach me how to get the saddle and bridle on?”

  She raised her brows. “You know what a bridle is?”

  He gave her a wounded look. “Of course I do. It has a bit on it, and the reins to steer the horse.”

  Her hands returned to her hips. “Did you Google that?”

  “Nope.”

  Her expression was skeptical. She wasn’t buying it.

  “I didn’t Google it,” he insisted.

  “Did you ask Boone?”

  Caught. He smiled sheepishly. “Maybe.”

/>   She laughed, and he felt his chest tighten at the sound. Did she have any idea how incredible her laugh was? It brightened everything around her. Made him feel blessed just to be in the same space.

  “Okay, cowboy,” she said, oblivious to his appreciation. “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to hook this lead to the thing Eddie’s wearing now. Do you know what it’s called?”

  “A halter,” he said proudly.

  She nodded, her smile flashing yet again. “You’ll take this lead and bring Eddie to the tack area. It’s at the south end of the riding ring. You’ll see the saddles laid out. I’ll get my horse and meet you there.”

  “Got it.” Vince swung the stall door open and accepted the rope Callie handed him. Edison good-naturedly followed him down the wide aisle, his shoes clopping rhythmically on the concrete.

  “Come on, old fella. Let’s get you saddled up so you can help me show Callie my stuff. I need to be a quick learner, so she’s impressed. You up to helping me with that?”

  The horse put his nose over Vince’s shoulder and blew out a long breath, his lips flapping endearingly. Vince couldn’t help but laugh, already feeling great affection for the big, friendly animal.

  ***

  Callie heard him murmuring to the horse as he walked away, then Edison snorted and Vince laughed. Her throat constricted. It was the kind of laugh that made you want to join in. Made you want to hear it over and over. Which wasn’t going to help in her quest to stay immune to him.

  She went down two stalls and put a lead on her favorite riding horse, a beautiful four year old dark-red roan named Leonardo. He was almost as big as Edison and he could be a handful at times, but only because he had an abundance of energy, not because he wanted to be disobedient. His head bobbed with excitement as she led him down the aisle where Vince and Edison had just gone.