Help Me, Hold Me

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Help Me, Hold Me Page 18

by Barbara Gee


  “If you don’t believe me, ask Boone what I said when you rode off.”

  “Hmm. Maybe I will sometime,” she murmured, letting her head droop forward as he moved his thumbs up the line of her spine to the curve of her neck and skull.

  “I’m not even surprised you turned out to be just as beautiful on the inside as you are on outside. Somehow I knew you would be.”

  “We haven’t even known each other a week, Vince. I could be faking it.”

  He chuckled at the slight slurring of her words, wondering how long it had been since she’d had someone attend to the build-up of stress in her muscles. He took the massage therapy provided by the team for granted, but Callie probably rarely indulged in such a thing.

  “You’re not faking,” he said confidently. “Kay Desmond was singing your praises that first morning. If you’ve earned that woman’s admiration, you’re certainly deserving of mine. Plus, I’ve seen you with your grandpa, and with your friends. You are special. Just as I knew from the start.”

  “Stop it, Vince,” she half-moaned. “If you build me up too much, you’re only going to end up disappointed.”

  He chuckled. “I doubt that, but since your humility is another thing I appreciate, I won’t pile on.” He gave her shoulders a final squeeze and dropped his hands. “Wanna go for a walk? It’s a beautiful night. Or do you need to stay close in case Jeremiah needs you?”

  She rolled her neck and shoulders, sighing contentedly. “Thanks for that. And no, Grandpa won’t need me for a while. He doesn’t have any trouble going to sleep, it’s just sometimes he wakes up during the night and can’t settle back down. That’s when I like to be there for him.” She turned and stuck out a sock-covered foot. “We could walk for a bit, but I don’t have shoes on.”

  “Wait here, I’ll go around to the kitchen door and grab your boots.”

  She looked up at him. “If you’re sure it’s not getting too late. I know you have to get up early to hit the gym with Boone.”

  He raised a brow. “If my choice is you or a little extra sleep, you’re gonna win every time.”

  She gave him an assessing look, trying not to smile. “I never would’ve guessed the big bad hockey player would have such a sweet side.”

  “Don’t tell anyone,” he said as he turned and headed down the porch steps.

  “Grab the jacket on the hook by the door while you’re at it,” she called softly.

  He wished she hadn’t thought of that so he could be gallant and keep her warm, finally getting a reason to hold her. He walked around the house to the kitchen door and retrieved her boots and the jacket, then waited while she put them on. She pulled the boots on over top of her skinny jeans, and looked adorable.

  He held out his hand and she took it readily, smiling a little shyly.

  “Do you want to go out toward the barn, or the other way?” she asked.

  “Wherever you want.”

  She tugged him away from the barn lane. “Let’s go this way. There’s a creek in less than half a mile. It’ll be beautiful in the moonlight.”

  “So are you,” he said, squeezing her hand.

  She laughed. “You’re turning out to be very good for my ego.”

  Vince looked around as they walked, enjoying the clean, crisp, night. “I don’t know what it’s like here in the winter, but I’m sure loving the warm days and cool nights of June.

  “June, July and August are the best months, for sure.”

  “The quiet takes some getting used to. It still seems a little eerie to me, but I imagine by the time I go back home, the noise of the city will bug me.”

  “I can almost guarantee it.”

  They walked on, chatting at times, comfortably silent at others. Vince heard the creek before he could see it.

  “Sounds like one of those recordings meant to relax you,” he said. “The tumbling water or whatever.”

  She nodded. “It does, it sounds exactly like that. Too bad I can’t bring Grandpa out here when he has trouble sleeping.”

  They reached the point where the water passed closest to the lane they were walking on, and Callie veered off across the grass until they were at the bank of the creek. They stood and watched the water burble over the rocks, gleaming silver in the moonlight. Then Callie raised her face to the sky, looking at the stars.

  Vince had to touch her. Had to. He moved behind her and reached carefully around, crossing his arms in front of her shoulders and gently pulling her back against his chest, gratified when she relaxed into him and brought her hands up, hooking them over his forearms.

  He rested his chin on the top of her head, enjoying the light, fruity scent of her hair. It felt incredible to finally be so close to her. His mind and his senses were completely wrapped up in Callie Green, and he didn’t want to leave tonight without knowing for sure he’d see her again soon. No more waiting around wondering if she was going to call. He’d suffered through that once and had no interest in doing it again.

  He’d already apologized once tonight for pushing her, but he was about to do it again. Because he had to know.

  “So are we doing this, Callie?” he asked softly.

  She didn’t ask what he meant—and judging from the light tremor he felt go through her, she didn’t have to. She knew exactly what he was asking.

  “I don’t know,” she finally said, her quiet voice barely decipherable above the sound of the water. “I want to, at least I think I do, but I don’t know if I’m brave enough.”

  He understood her fear, but he couldn’t leave it at that. “What scares you the most?”

  He felt her sigh. “Getting too attached, and then losing you and Grandpa both. Being left with a broken heart times two.”

  “Don’t you think there’s a chance we can skip the whole broken heart part and make it work?”

  She tugged his arms apart and stepped away before turning to face him. The moonlight was too dim to clearly read her eyes, but he could see the intensity in her expression. “I have to be here to run the ranch, Vince, and you have to play hockey. You have two years left on your current contract, and another four or five good years of playing after that. How can that work?”

  He knew that was an obstacle—and yes, it was a big one. But he didn’t want it to be big enough to stop this thing before it even started.

  “I don’t know how it’ll work. Not yet. But if this grows into something we both want badly enough, maybe we’ll be open to possibilities we aren’t seeing right now.”

  She folded her arms and hunched her shoulders. “Or maybe it won’t get that far. Maybe this is mostly a physical attraction that’ll soon fade, and without that, we’ll realize we’re not compatible at all.”

  He shoved his hands into his pockets and gave her a skeptical look. “I don’t see that part fading, ever, but there’s a lot more to this than the physical aspect, and I think you know that.”

  “Maybe,” she acknowledged, “but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying.”

  Vince couldn’t promise her they’d have smooth sailing, but he truly believed they could make a relationship work if they wanted it badly enough. And he did.

  “I don’t want you to think I’m making light of your fears,” he said. “Yes, we have some challenges, and they’re big ones. The thing is, I don’t want to walk away because it’s not easy enough, and then find myself ten years down the road still looking for someone who makes me feel the way you do.” He let that sink in, keeping his gaze steady on hers. He needed her to know how serious he was. “Bottom line, Callie, I want to fight for this. I don’t want to give you up without even trying.”

  She blinked and he thought he saw the shine of tears in her night-shadowed eyes. “I want to be that brave,” she said softly, gripping her upper arms tightly. “But I’m worried things are moving too fast. Maybe it’s too soon to decide yes or no.”

  “It is soon, I won’t argue that, but it’s not like we have a lot of time to waste.” He reached out and took one of
her hands, holding it lightly in his. “I already know what I want, Callie. I do. I don’t want to pretend we’re just friends, I want to give us a real shot.” He dipped his head to see her eyes better in the moonlight. “I want to keep this going and I need you to tell me whether you feel the same way.”

  He braced himself for her answer.

  If she asked for more time, he was prepared to be patient. He just hoped she wouldn’t shut him down altogether. He didn’t even want to think about that.

  He felt his heart thudding in his chest as he waited, and he said a silent prayer for the strength to accept her answer, whatever it might be.

  CHAPTER 16

  Callie stared up at him, studying his face in the moonlight. He was a beautiful man, inside and out, and he made her heart feel so full. Short time or not, she already felt connected to him, and in spite of her fears, she knew she couldn’t bring herself to cut the slender bonds they’d formed. She already cared too much.

  How had he done it? How had he become so important to her in one short week?

  She released a shaky breath, hoping she wasn’t making a mistake that would come back to haunt her.

  “I do feel the same way,” she admitted quietly. “I might not have as much courage as you do, but I’m not ready to walk away. At least not yet.”

  His lips curved up in a slow smile and she smiled back, even though she felt self-conscious and vulnerable now that she’d admitted her feelings. She wished she would’ve stayed up close to him, with his big arms wrapped around her, reassuring and protective.

  “I still have reservations,” she said honestly. “I think I’m okay with seeing where things go, as long as we can relax and not feel pressured. We need to just let it happen naturally, if it’s going to.”

  His smiled widened. “We can do that. Although I have to say, I don’t think there’s much of an ‘if’ involved.”

  She knew she was blushing, but thankfully it was too dark for him to see.

  He looked down and dug at the ground with the toe of his shoe. “You said you don’t have as much courage as I do. I don’t know about that, but there’s a reason I feel confident.”

  Callie tilted her head, curious. He pushed the clump of dirt back in place before lifting his head, his steady gaze connecting once again with hers.

  “I’m guessing Jeremiah has mentioned I gave my heart to Christ last summer.”

  “Yeah, he did,” she confirmed, smiling warmly. “I’m so glad….for you and for me. I wouldn’t be able to commit to anything with you if you weren’t a Christian.”

  He nodded. “I figured that, and I knew he must have told you, otherwise you’d have brought it up as yet another obstacle.”

  “That one would’ve made all the others look tiny in comparison,” she declared.

  “Yeah, no doubt. The thing is, Callie, God did an incredible work in my life when I was here last summer, and now that I’m back I think He has an even bigger plan for me.” He paused, then put it out there. “I think that plan is you. That’s why I feel so confident about us being able to make it. I don’t think God would’ve brought us together if we didn’t have a chance.”

  Callie stared at him as that sank in. She was amazed, and a little saddened, by how differently they’d viewed the past six days since they’d met. He saw her as a blessing God had put in his life, while she’d been mostly frustrated and annoyed that her orderly life had been disrupted by a powerful attraction she hadn’t been prepared for. Now she felt guilty for not even considering the possibility that God had been part of putting him there.

  A grudging smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “If God brought us together, that means I’ve been fighting a fight I was never going to win.”

  He reached for her hands, holding them tight in his. “I want you to stop fighting, Callie,” he said, his voice low and stirring. “Let it happen. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

  She wanted it so badly her chest hurt, but it wasn’t easy to step out onto the precipice with him. “And if it’s not meant to be?”

  “Then at least we’ll know we gave it our all,” he said.

  She let out a slow breath and felt tears threaten for the second time. “But super-star hockey players don’t fall for cowgirls from Barlow.”

  His eyes glittered in the moonlight and he smiled as if he sensed—rightly—that she was on the verge of giving in. He tugged on her hands, bringing her a step closer to him.

  “You’re selling yourself short,” he murmured. “Way short.”

  Another tug, and she didn’t resist. They were inches apart now and he let go of her hands and put his on her shoulders. “Give us a chance, that’s all I’m asking.” He smiled crookedly. “I think the story of the hockey player and the cowgirl could have a happy ending.”

  For a few more seconds her desire to be with him continued its tug-of-war with her fear of heartbreak. Could they do this? Could their ending be happy instead of devastating?

  Vince believed it, and if there was a chance, any chance, didn’t she have to go for it? Wasn’t he worth the risk?

  Her throat ached with emotion as she stared up at him, seeing his quiet confidence and strength. He was everything she’d ever wanted and then some. And yes, he was a blessing from God at a time when she needed one the most.

  “Does anyone ever say no to you?” she asked softly.

  “Mmm hmm. But when it’s something really important, I try to change their minds.”

  “I’ll save you the trouble.” She smiled shyly. “I want that happy ending, Vince. I want to start fighting for it, not against it.”

  His smile was wide and relieved. “Thatta girl.” He slid his hands slowly down to her elbows, then back up to settle on the curve of her neck and shoulders, his thumbs rubbing against her collarbone. “You had me sweating it there for a bit.”

  “Good, because I’ve been sweating it for almost a week.”

  He chuckled. “It’s been one of the best weeks I’ve had, if you don’t count the last two days when I checked my phone five hundred times hoping to see a text. Boone said I was pathetic and should just get my butt over here and find out what was going on.”

  “You probably should have,” Callie said ruefully. “All I was doing was putting off the inevitable. I guess I just wanted to do it on my own terms, although I don’t know what that proves.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” he said, softly. “We got where we needed to be.”

  She nodded slowly. “So now what?”

  “Now we relax and let things happen naturally, like you said before.” He raised his chin a notch. “But we’re officially a couple now, and I don’t want to hide that we’re together. I want people to know you’re taken.”

  Since she was confined to the ranch and not meeting guys anyway, Callie read between the lines of that statement and called him on it with a knowing smile. “You mean you want people to know you are. So other girls will stop hitting on you.”

  He shrugged, too modest to outright admit it. “That works too. Plus I want Boone to know, because he’s been so sure I was gonna crash and burn when it came to you.”

  She winced. “Will he think we’re nuts? You haven’t even been in town for a week.”

  He laughed and man, he had such a great laugh. It got her every time.

  “Trust me, Boone knew my intentions the very first morning I met you. He and Jolene will both be happy about it.”

  She rolled her lips together as she thought of something else. “Being a couple would normally mean fun dates and spending all our free time together.” Her eyes were apologetic. “I’d love that, but I’m not going to be able to do normal. I still need to make Grandpa my priority, which means my time away from the ranch will be very limited.”

  He was quick to reassure her. “I know, Callie, and I wouldn’t expect anything different. Just warn Jeremiah I plan to be around a lot.” He grinned. “And I do mean a lot.”

  That made her incredibly happy. “I’m pretty sure he�
��ll like that almost as much as I will,” she told him.

  “I hope so.” He raised a dark brow. “You should probably make sure you tell your girlfriends about us, too.”

  Callie was afraid she knew why he was suggesting that. She squinted up at him. “Are they the ones hitting on you?”

  “Not really. I mean, they’re just being friendly so far. Yesterday Brittany and Rose watched one of our sessions and then stayed and wanted to chat afterward. Then today Brittany was waiting outside the rink for me after our first session. Wanted me to grab a coffee with her. I made an excuse, and she was fine.” He raised a shoulder self-consciously. “It hasn’t been anything blatant, but I wouldn’t want them to feel bad if they keep trying and then find out you and I are together.”

  Callie cringed. “Oh man, they’re going to give me so much grief. I’m the last person they’d expect to catch your eye, especially when you met Brit at the same time as me.”

  He shook his head slowly. “See, I don’t get that, Callie. You’d stand out to me no matter who else was around. I can’t believe some lucky guy didn’t snap you up a long time ago.”

  She had to laugh at that. “I’m only twenty-four.”

  “Well thank God I got here in time.”

  A cow lowed in the distance, and Vince turned slightly in that direction.

  She giggled. “That was a cow, in case you didn’t know, city boy.”

  He turned back to her and smiled. “I know it was a cow. Was it a Hereford cow?”

  “Whoa, someone’s been studying up.” She wrapped her hands around his biceps and gave an approving nod. “I like that.”

  “I’ve gotta impress the cowgirl.”

  “Do you even know what a Hereford is?”

  “It’s the breed that has red bodies and white heads,” he said proudly.

  The fact that he’d sought out information about cattle to impress her made her feel a little weak-kneed. He was the most irresistible human ever and he smelled so good and looked so good—and felt so good under her hands.

  Callie’s mouth went dry and her hands tightened. It was all she could do to not take one more baby step and eliminate those pesky inches that separated them. She wanted to feel him pressed up against her. She wanted to kiss him. In the worst way.

 

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