Help Me, Hold Me

by Barbara Gee

  “I know. It’s a lot to take in, especially when you’re dealing with this.” He softly tapped the top of her head, then rested his chin there. She felt him exhale as his arms tightened. “They found out yesterday. Your parents. I haven’t heard how they reacted.”

  Callie closed her eyes, breathing him in, loving him, wishing things weren’t so horribly complicated. She’d thought they had a hard path ahead of them before she’d ever heard of the Tates. Now she’d give anything to only have his hockey contract and the Double Nickel to worry about.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking, sweetheart,” he urged.

  “Same as I’ve been thinking,” she told him honestly. “I don’t want this to mess up what we have.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Callie.”

  “Until training camp,” she amended.

  He gave a low chuckle. “I meant that more figuratively than literally. I’ll be physically going somewhere yeah, but I’m not leaving this relationship.”

  Callie knew he meant it, but she also knew it was asking a lot of him. “But if we go public with it, you’re going to be made part of the story.” She pulled away far enough to be able to look up at him. “First it’ll be Elliot’s arrest, then the revelation that his dead sister isn’t really dead, then they’ll find out the resurrected Lila is dating an NHL player. The headlines just get better and better.”

  “Then it’s good I’m used to dealing with headlines, huh?” He took her head in his big hands, his eyes warm and reassuring. “Stories come and go, babe. It’ll be uncomfortable for a while, but then the next big thing will break and everyone will move on.”

  “I guess. I’m just going to hate every single second of it.” She bit a corner of her lip. “Vince? Is it terrible that I feel nothing for my so-called mother? No obligation, no curiosity. Just….nothing.” She dropped her gaze, smoothing the tear-dampened fabric of his shirt nervously, wanting to get this off her chest. “I think it’s because deep down, I believe she was involved somehow. I mean, she was having an affair with Elliot, for Pete’s sake, she had to know something was up. Even if she didn’t know about it beforehand, they continued their affair for a while after he sent me away. He couldn’t have been good enough to keep her from suspecting that whole time. Plus, she had to know he was sleeping with Tabby, too—I mean, Tabby lived in the same house, how could she not know? So when Tabby disappeared at exactly the same time I did, you can’t tell me Julianne didn’t put two and two together. Yet she did nothing about it.”

  “I know, sweetheart, I’ve thought the same thing,” Vince admitted. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she’ll be questioned about that at some point, now that the case has been reopened.”

  Callie considered that possibility. “I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s not like I feel the need for revenge, or to make her pay. I can’t even say I’m angry at her—it’s more like total apathy. I just don’t want to see her or talk to her or have anything to do with her.”

  Vince slid a hand beneath her hair and rubbed her back. “You’d probably feel differently, if your life after being abducted had been really rotten. If you’d suffered, it would hurt a lot more to know Julianne hadn’t cared enough to stop Elliot from sending you away to an unknown future.”

  She realized he was exactly right and nodded her agreement. “That’s true. As it is, I think what Elliot did is despicable, but to be honest, I’m not sorry about the outcome. I’m glad I grew up on the ranch with Jeremiah.”

  He tilted her face up so he could see her eyes again. “What about your father? Tell me how you’re feeling about him.”

  She swallowed hard before answering. It would be easier if she felt the same as she did about Julianne, because she wasn’t at all sure how a father would fit into her life. But it wasn’t the same.

  “It’s different with Howard,” she admitted, “because from what Gary said, he was devastated when he thought I died. Losing his daughter brought him to his knees, and he never really recovered. I’m not going to lie and say that doesn’t make me feel at least something for him.”

  “Do you think you’ll want to meet him?”

  She rolled her lips together, wishing she had a definitive answer. “I don’t know. Would it be okay with you if I did?”

  “Of course. I’ll support whatever you decide. But we need to talk about him, Callie.”

  She took a step back, sensing he was going to tell her something she didn’t want to hear. “You found out more about him, didn’t you?”

  Vince gave her a wry smile. “Tanner did. Just a warning, don’t ever get on that man’s bad side. Give him a computer, and you have no secrets.”

  “Duly noted,” Callie replied, waiting for him to go on.

  “You should sit. You’ve been standing too long.” He helped her to get settled back on the bed, where she sat cross-legged like she’d been before. He sat on the edge, crooking one leg up on the bed so he was facing her. “So, it looks like Elliot’s plotting and scheming didn’t stop at his baby sister. He’s been trying to get rid of his dad—your father—too.”

  “Are you serious?” Callie gave a soft moan and squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t like knowing I’m related to that man by blood.”

  “It looks like he was planning to speed up Howard’s death by having his home health aide give him an overdose. They wanted to make it look accidental.”

  Callie’s eyes flew open, locking onto his. She listened silently as he told her what Tanner had discovered. When he talked about the details of Howard’s illness, she felt a surprisingly deep sense of sorrow. Vince stopped talking and reached for her hand.

  “You okay?”

  She swallowed and nodded. “It’s just so sad. He’s already sick, and knowing he’s going to find out his son wants him dead—it makes me feel so bad. I hate the thought of him dying all alone.”

  “He’s not on borrowed time yet,” Vince reminded her.

  “But if I decide I want to see him, I shouldn’t wait too long. It’s not fair to make him wait and wonder. Especially with everything else he’s dealing with.”

  Vince’s blue eyes were warm as he nodded. “Meeting him isn’t making a commitment. If he turns out to be a jerk, well, at least you gave it a shot.”

  Callie thought about that. It was true, but what if it turned out to be the opposite? What if he was an okay guy, maybe even a pretty great one, and she got attached? Then she’d have to watch him decline over time, just like she had with Jeremiah, followed by another agonizing loss.

  She shared that fear with Vince, then shook her head sadly. “It’s hard to see an up-side,” she told him.

  “Agreed.”

  She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. “It sounds really selfish to not give him a chance just because I don’t want to suffer in the end.” She laid her cheek on her knees. “Do you think I should try to get to know him? If he wants to?”

  “It doesn’t matter what I think,” he said gently. “You need to do what feels right to you, and like I said, whatever that is, I’ll support you.”

  “But you’re leaning in a certain direction, right?”

  He smiled. “Possibly.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Don’t need to. You’ll get there on your own.”

  She raised her head and looked deep into his beautiful blue eyes. “How do you know?” she whispered.

  “Because I know you, Callie.”

  It was true, he did. Somehow he already knew her so well. Her shoulders drooped as she straightened her legs and sighed. “I have to go see him, don’t I?”

  He put his hands over her knees. “He loved you. He lost his little girl and he never got over it.”

  She winced and raised her eyes to meet his. “What if I don’t measure up to what he would’ve wanted in a daughter?”

  His brows rose. “Seriously? You’re actually concerned about that?”

  She nodded. “I don’t know how to be an important rich man’s daughter.
I won’t fit in.”

  “You don’t need to worry about fitting in anywhere. You just need to see him. Give him the chance to know you.” He smiled, his eyes warm and confident. “Be Callie Green. It’s enough, baby. It’s more than enough. If he can’t see the incredible woman everyone who knows you sees, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

  She blinked against the tears his words caused. “Thank you,” she whispered. Her heart was so full and she loved him so much. She wanted to tell him how she felt, but not here. A hospital room wasn’t the setting she wanted to picture every time she remembered the first time she said ‘I love you.’

  “Any time,” he said with a crooked smile. As if he sensed she was overwhelmed and needed the mood lightened, he jutted his chin toward her right arm. “Nice cast by the way.”

  She couldn’t stop her sudden giggle. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure you even noticed.”

  “It’s neon green, how could I not?”

  “Well you didn’t say anything.”

  “I was going to, but I got distracted when you stood up and practically jumped me.”

  She grinned and nudged him with her foot. “Whatever, Vince.”

  He wrapped his hand around her ankle. “It’s not like I minded.”

  “Whatever,” she repeated, this time with an exaggerated eye roll. “Anyway, the doc came in and told me my fifth metacarpal is fractured and I needed a cast. Since Brit was being so nice I told her she could pick the color.”

  “And you’ve known her how long?”

  “I know, I know,” she said, laughing again. “I should’ve have known better. But neon green goes with everything, obviously, so no worries.”

  “Does it glow in the dark, too?”

  “No, unfortunately. That would’ve been even cooler.”

  Vince lowered himself onto his side, his elbow propped on the bed, his other hand moving to wrap around her knee. “Any word on when you can fly this cage?”

  “No, but I know I have some tests scheduled for tomorrow morning.” She gave him a hopeful look. “Dr. Young is supposed to be in soon. Maybe you can strong-arm him into getting them moved up to today.”

  He winced. “I wish. Everything moves in slow motion here. It took them almost three days to give you a cast!”

  “I’m still going to beg a little. Can’t hurt.”

  As it turned out, neither begging nor strong-arming was necessary. When Dr. Young showed up at noon, the doctor who administered the post-brain injury screenings was with him, prepared to do the testing right then. After asking her numerous questions and testing her hearing and balance, he looked at Dr. Young and nodded.

  “You’re right. There are no signs of any impairment whatsoever.”

  Dr. Young leaned up against the wall and folded his arms, looking at Callie sternly. “If I were to discharge you, can you assure me you’ll follow all the stipulations I send home with you?”

  “Yes, I really would,” she said sincerely, hope blooming at the possibility.

  “You also need to have someone with you at all times, for at least another two weeks. As I’ve told you before, brain injuries are unpredictable. Sometimes symptoms don’t manifest themselves for days or even weeks after the injury occurs. Even though you’re not exhibiting any signs now, you did sustain a blow hard enough to crack your skull. That means we need to take precautions, regardless of how good you’re feeling right now.”

  “I understand,” Callie assured him. “I can arrange to have someone there all the time.”

  He nodded, seemingly satisfied. “I don’t expect any problems, but we’ll follow protocol nevertheless. And you’ll need to come to my office for check-ups every five days during those two weeks.”

  “I can do that.”

  “But you can’t drive yourself. No driving until I clear you for it.”

  “I promise I won’t.”

  He relaxed and allowed himself to smile. “Okay then, let’s get your discharge paperwork started.” He looked over at Vince, who was standing on the opposite side of the room. “I take it you’ll be the one taking her home?”

  “Yes sir. I’ll also be the one making sure she follows all your rules,” he said with a smile.

  “Very good. I’ll send your nurse in to get the process started, and I’ll be back in a couple hours to sign off on it.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Young,” Callie said, unable to stop a huge grin. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

  “My pleasure. I’m glad things have worked out so well for you. One of my rules will be that you stay off horses for at least a month, you know.”

  She grimaced. “That’ll be a tough one, but I’ll do it.”

  He approached her bed and held out a hand, which she had to shake left-handed. Then he crossed and shook Vince’s hand as well. “Best of luck to you both,” he said, then left the room.

  Callie looked at Vince, seeing her relief and excitement reflected on his face. “Can you call Rose or Kim and tell them not to come? I think they were planning to go out for lunch after church and then come straight here.”

  “Shall I tell them to come to the ranch later?”

  She shook her head. “No, because I don’t know when we’ll get there, plus I just want to chill with you this evening.”

  He lowered himself onto the edge of the bed. “Sounds good to me.”

  Callie gave a happy sigh. “It does.”

  “I’ll stay the night, too. We can’t violate Dr. Young’s rule about not letting you be alone on your very first night.”

  Callie chuckled. “Definitely not. Though, I’m sure Brit could come.”

  “Nah, I’ll do the first one, then we can work out a schedule for the week.” He tucked his hand around her leg. “You’ll be well taken care of, no question about that.”

  “I’m going to see if Leslie can come during the days, though. You need to get back to work at the rink.” When he started to protest she held up her hand. “No arguing, Vince. You’re needed there. In fact, you need to be there tomorrow when the new retreat starts. I’ll call Leslie’s agency now and see if they can send someone out first thing in the morning.”

  Vince tried to argue but Callie wouldn’t budge. She’d taken up enough of his time the last few weeks, and Boone had been nothing but understanding. Now she was going to give him his volunteer back. At least during the days. Hopefully Vince’s evenings would still be hers.

  CHAPTER 38

  Vince tapped on the bathroom door. “You okay in there?”

  Her voice came back muffled. “Um, yeah. I should’ve brought a robe in here with me, though.”

  “Why do you need a robe?”

  “Because I got dressed for bed after my shower, and I’m only wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top.”

  He grinned and rested a forearm against the top of the door frame. “I don’t see any problems with that.”

  “No, I don’t suppose you would,” she quipped. “Can you close your eyes until I get in bed?”

  “Nope.”

  “Vince.”

  “I’ve seen your legs before, Callie. When you wore that cute little green skirt to church. Believe me, you’ve got nothing to hide.”

  “It’s not that, I just feel….exposed. You’re fully dressed and I’m not.”

  “Keep talking, baby,” he growled in a low voice.

  He heard her giggle. “Eyes closed, Vince Abbot. Promise me.”

  He gave a dramatic sigh. “They’re closed.”

  “Are you still by the door.”

  “Mm hmm.”

  “You’re going to have to move to let me by.”

  “You said I couldn’t look, you didn’t say anything about touching.”

  The giggle came again. “Step away from the door, Vince. And keep your eyes closed.”

  He swiveled so his back was against the wall. “Okay. I’m away, and my eyes are closed. You have five seconds.”

  “Why five seconds?”

  “Because that’s a
s long as my will-power will hold.”

  “Dr. Young wouldn’t want me to run.”

  “Callie,” he warned. He heard the door open and quick footsteps on the hardwood. He kept his eyes closed, but his imagination was almost as potent as the real thing.

  “Okay, I’m in bed,” she called.

  He went into her room, where she was sitting on her bed with the blankets pulled up to her waist, grinning. He immediately knew she didn’t realize how tantalizing her thin little top was and his jaw clenched with the effort it took not to stare.

  Callie scooted further down in bed and settled back against her pillows. Vince sat down on the edge and took the opportunity to tug her blankets up higher, which allowed him to breathe a little easier.

  “I’m so glad to be home,” she said, closing her eyes blissfully. “My bed feels wonderful, and it doesn’t crackle when I move.”

  “I’m glad too. It was a good evening, huh? Just you, me, and James Bond. No one interrupting to draw blood or change out an IV bag.”

  Her sleepy green eyes met his and she patted the bed beside her. “Lie down with me for a while. I’m not quite ready for the good evening to end.”

  He rubbed his jaw, stubble rasping beneath his fingers. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You’re still healing and I’m trying real hard to keep from starting something you aren’t ready for.”

  Her eyes sparkled in the lamplight and her pretty lips curled up. “Is that why you haven’t kissed me?”

  He didn’t answer, just looked into those eyes as his heart thudded harder in his chest.

  “I’m fine, Vince. You heard Dr. Young say that. And four days is way, way, way too long to go without kissing you.” She pressed the back of her hand to her forehead dramatically. “In fact, I think my condition might start to deteriorate if I have to wait much longer.”

  He responded to her teasing in kind. “But you know what it does to you, sweetheart. Your heart starts pounding, your blood pressure spikes, and you have trouble getting enough oxygen.” He shook his head sadly. “I think I’m just too potent for you right now.”