The Rewind Series Boxset

by Jill Cooper

  Fro-yo. I sit on the back of the sofa with a grin like its Christmas. “I’d love that.”

  “He’ll pick you up from school then. I’ll let him know. See, I can talk to him like we’re adults.”

  The pain registers on her face and I feel like a heel. “Mom, about last night…”

  “Don’t.” Mom sits beside me and pats my knee. “It was late, you had a bad night. Bad few days. I know how upset these hearings make you.”

  “I shouldn’t take it out on you. I’m sorry.”

  Mom’s lips are drawn together straight and she plays with my curls. “One day it’ll get easier. But what you said, part of it was true. I’m not perfect. I know that, but I’m trying. We’re all trying. Knowing that our lives were so different before? It’s not easy for any of us.”

  “Things aren’t easy, but I’m glad you’re here, Mom.” I hug her. It wasn’t always so easy for me to say what I feel, but it’s getting easier. I’m getting used to having a mother.

  She squeezes me tight with a path of her hand on my back. “I need to get to work, but tonight we can do something fun. Monopoly?”

  The twin’s favorite game. I nod. “Sure. What’s a little more insult to injury.”

  “Lara…” Mom’s voice warns.

  “What? It’s not my fault that Mikey is a property shark.” I stand too fast and a sharp stabbing pain hits the front lobe of my skull. I try to mask it with a quick squint, but Mom grabs my arm and I sit back down without meaning to.

  “Maybe you should stay home today. I’ll call your dad and he can come over…”

  “No.” I rub my skull and breathe a sigh of relief as the pain lifts like a cold day’s morning fog. “It’s gone. I feel better. I should go to school. Donovan will be here soon.”

  Mom is silent and I know she thinks I’m making the wrong choice. But I pick up my backpack and swing it over my shoulder.

  “Everything will be fine, Lara. It’ll work out. Soon you’ll be graduated from high school. You’ll be able to go anywhere you want. Do anything you want.”

  “Do you really believe that?” I ask in a low voice and I can’t bring myself to look at her. “Do you really think the government will let me go?”

  She doesn’t speak. Instead she just hugs me and kisses the top of my head. I’m glad to have her. I’m happy to know my mom but was it worth all the sacrifice? Was it worth everything else?

  I don’t know the answer to that question. For now I enjoy being in her arms, her smell, and just having a mom.

  Before Donovan gets there, Mom is gone. Off to the research lab where she works in Boston as a mere technician. It’s been hard for her, humbling, but I’m glad she’s out of Rewind and not rotting away in prison for the laws and ethics she broke.

  Stepping outside, I trot down the steps and enjoy a gust of a spring time wind. Outside everything smells fresh and new, like a morning rain.

  Donovan’s Porsche pulls up with the top down. He’s in his favorite yellow polo and sunglasses. No matter what we’re going through he always manages to look so cool. I wish I could be like that; he makes everything look so effortless.

  I pull myself into the car and into his arms. One hand is still on the steering wheel as his other, goes against my neck to pull me in for a kiss.

  Such a little thing like our lips touching is enough to lift the weight of depression from my heart. I lean against him as the car idles and pull the sunglasses from his face. His bright eyes are just what I need to perk me up. “There they are.”

  He gives me a quizzical scowl.

  “My favorite baby blues.”

  Donovan grins. “At least someone still likes me.”

  My heart is pelted with pain. All my drama is so public, on display, but Donovan’s is so much more muted. Doesn’t mean it’s not real. He’s lost his Mom and his home. Most of the guys he paled around with don’t bother with him anymore.

  Sure, I’m the one who is government owned, but doesn’t mean Donovan’s struggles are any less painful than mine. So I stroke the back of his head and we hold each other, enjoying the silence and the comfortable.

  But it can’t last forever so eventually Donovan breaks the silence with a murmur against my cheek. “Rough night?”

  “The roughest.” I admit. “Weird dreams. Headaches. How much longer can I hold it together?”

  “As long as you have to, Montgomery. Don’t turn into a defeatist on me. We’ll figure it out.”

  The determination in his eye gives me a strength I didn’t have before. “I thought we’d ride off into the sunset. However much longer we have together, months, years, decades, I thought at least we’d be happy.”

  “So we’ll be happy here. Now. We’ll make it work, no matter where we are. Don’t count us out yet, Lara. Promise me.” Donovan studies my eyes and I drown in his. “Promise me.” His voice is softer, urging.

  “I promise.” One last time I fold into him before it’s time to drive away.

  Can’t be late for school. There are classes to make and tests to take. It feels so stupid, so mundane after everything, but it’s normal. I’ve been striving for normal.

  But can you really go back? Can you really be normal again?

  For me the answer is always the same. No.

  ****

  Out of everything, school makes me feel more detached than anything does.

  The jocks talking about the big game. The girls fawning over the latest fashions. The emmo kids doing their best not to care about anything except for the color black. Everything that is unimportant is important.

  I’m not the same girl I once was. I’m not the rough and poor girl Lara Crane who was desperate to be accepted. And I’m not Lara Montgomery, the trendy rich girl with all the latest clothes, purses, and the exceptional boyfriend.

  I’m stuck in the middle between them and neither. I’m worried about the government and what happens if time travel becomes an unregulated thing. It makes fashion and all the rest not matter so much. Studying is near impossible and caring about grades? I can only care because my parents ride me.

  They try to make everything normal, but nothing is.

  Donovan and I walk the halls hand in hand. We’re surrounded by the pretty girls. Perfect hair, makeup and I practically just rolled out of bed. In my skinny jeans and form fitted shirt, I look okay but I paired it with an old battered hoodie. I’m in sneakers instead of boots because of my nightmares and the only makeup I’m wearing is lip gloss.

  Not because I want to, but I want to put on a façade. Pretend I’m normal. Pretend everything is okay when nothing is.

  I want to fade. Hide.

  And as I turn to my locker, I can tell from how Donovan leans against it and studies me that he knows. His eyes are always undressing my layers. I love how well he knows me, supports me, but sometimes I wish I could hide. Even from him.

  I’m desperate to be away from the prying eyes. All of them. Yet everywhere I go, there they are. Old friends, teachers, police, government.

  Everywhere.

  “What’s going on in that brain of yours?” Donovan asks.

  “You deserve better.” When I say it, he shakes his head. “You do. I’m barely holding myself together. I’m rumpled and a mess. You could have any girl in school you want.”

  “You’re the only one I want, Montgomery.” Donovan takes me by the waist and pulls me in. “I thought you knew that.”

  I kiss him because I can’t help myself. He’s my safe haven. “Doesn’t mean you should. No one deserves all this baggage.”

  “Far as baggage goes, yours is pretty cute. And not your fault.” His eyes are level. Studious. “What happened to you, what that monster Rex did to you; none of it is your fault.”

  Except time travel is my fault. Everything that led me to Rex and Rewind, I put into action. I just couldn’t see where it to lead me. Exactly what I’m afraid is happening to the government and rewind now.

  But instead of saying all that, we kiss until the
bell rings. Hand in hand we walk toward our science class.

  Maybe I don’t deserve Donovan James, but I’m proud to hold onto to.

  To have him even if everyone around us at school thinks we’re a pair of freaks.

  *****

  Donovan walks me to my next class. Under one arm, he carries my books and the other drapes around my shoulders. I might be the freak on the news that no one wants to socialize with, but when I’m with him it doesn’t matter.

  He doesn’t say anything about why I’ve been so quiet or what I’m thinking about. Instead as the bell rings he kisses my nose. “I’ll call you tonight after you get back from your fro-yo date with Jax.”

  “I look forward to it.” But I can’t remember mentioning it to him? When did I tell him I was seeing Jax? At lunch? In the car?

  “Not as much as I am.” He takes my hand and kisses it. A real gentleman, but I can’t stop worrying as I slink inside the room.

  I take my seat and find a pencil at the bottom of my bag. I should just ask Donovan when I told him, but I don’t want to worry him. If he knew thought there was one more thing wrong with me maybe that would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. And I like Donovan just the way he is. Strong. Protective.

  Mine.

  But none of that stops the pain from coming. I can feel it racing in like an out of control car and it collides with my brain. I squint and grip the edge of my desk as I ride the wave. But it’s more like a tsunami. A raging storm I can’t hide from.

  My vision goes black and shining lights of color interrupt that darkness.

  There are no voices. No sounds. It’s just me in this black hole of space until suddenly it’s gone. It zips closed and my mind travels with warp speed back into my body.

  Only I’m not in a classroom.

  I’m in a car.

  Present Lara Crane

  There’s a towering bowl of frozen yogurt in my hand covered in a mountain of sprinkles and candy that would give Willy Wonka a tooth ache. Beside me is Jax, his hand relaxed on the steering wheel, but I shouldn’t be here.

  I should still be in school.

  “This detective,” Jax starts like a silence has been lingering between us, “you think he means trouble?”

  I told him about the detective? I can’t remember anything that’s happened between now and school. “I don’t know. It’s just a dream, right?” I squint in a deep scowl and stare out the window.

  We’re stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on Mass Ave headed into Cambridge thanks to the never ending construction work. Dad, back in the old days before I was a time traveler, used to call spring ‘construction season’.

  “Right. Sure.” Jax’s voice is unsure as he leans his elbow on the door. “You sure it was just a dream? Maybe it has…listen, you said you dreamt of Rex, right?”

  Rex. The pink elephant in the room.

  “It was just a dream. But what I did…” my voice trails off. I can’t bring myself to say ‘I killed Rex’ even if it was true. Even if the weasel deserved it.

  “What you had to do.” Jax takes his eyes off the road for a minute to look at me. Rex was his brother, but Jax is the only one who knows for certain what I did. He was the only one I could bring myself to tell.

  Because after everything he did, I knew he wouldn’t judge me. He’d understand.

  He’d keep my secret and bring it with him to his grave. I just hoped that was no day soon. I don’t want to lose anything else.

  “My brother was no saint. He would have been the first to admit it. You did what you did to, for you. For this family. I just wish…” Jax sighs. “I should have been the one strong enough to do it.”

  I can’t fathom that. I shake my head. “He’s your brother. You think someday twenty years in the future I could do that, to Mike? Molly?” There’s no way. I don’t even want to think about it so I slam a bunch of freezing fro-yo in my mouth.

  “You somehow always know how to make your old stepdad feel good. Even when nothing is going right.”

  “We’re family.”

  He squeezes my fingers when I say it. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I feel better. It’s nice to be able to tell someone the whole truth and nothing but. Jax isn’t my dad, but I’ve always been able to tell him stuff even when things were tough. I think Donovan would understand, but I’m not sure. I’ve asked so much of him already and he’s lost so much. I can’t ask him to carry any more burdens.

  This one is all on me.

  Jax hits the breaks as some construction workers cut us off, carrying a large pane of glass. “Geesh, I could have hit those guys.”

  The two men in orange hard hats stop to look at us and I barely notice. There’s something else I want to say to him.

  Fear creeps into my face. “I think I’m losing time.”

  Jax blinks his eyes rapidly and he startles. He turns on his signal light and starts to turn off the side of the road so we can talk. We’re down in an alley and it’s not far from Tower of Records where this all started.

  Where Mom was murdered, I saved her life, took her spot, and brought us into this world, this future where everything is so uncertain.

  Jax turns and his arm is thrown over the back of my seat. “What’s the matter, Lara?”

  I take a lingering breath to prepare myself. “It started this morning. Donovan knew things I couldn’t remember telling him and two seconds ago I was sitting in class and now I’m here with you.”

  “You don’t remember me picking you up? Everything we talked about at Orange Leaf?”

  I shake my head no and watch as his face darkens with worry. It increases my worry because Jax is supposed to be in control all the time. He always keeps it together, for ten years he went about life looking happy and go lucky, meanwhile carrying this huge burden of trying to keep Mom alive. I know I should blame him for Dad being in prison for the last decade, but I can’t.

  “You think Rewind did something to you? You said they fitted you with something. Do you think its messing with you?”

  I stroke the back of my neck and feel the protruding little lobe. “Maybe.”

  Jax’s chest puffs up with anger. “I’ll take you home and then I’ll head there, get answers.”

  My eyes widen with fear. That’s the last thing I want him to do. “You’re forbidden from going there. A hundred feet, Jax.” My eyes widen because I’ve seen the look on his face before. He doesn’t care. Jax is going to go there to protect me like he’s Papa Bear, but he can’t. It would be a violation of his agreement and then he would end up in jail.

  “Your immunity agreement—.”

  “Means nothing if I can’t keep you safe.” Jax sits front and squeezes the steering wheel tight in his hands. “I’ve wanted nothing but to keep you safe and if I can’t do that…”

  “I need you out of jail. Let me find another way.” He doesn’t look at me. Only at the steering wheel, but from his deep breathing and how hard his jaw clenches, I know Jax is going to a scary place. One I might not be able to follow him to.

  “Dad,” I whisper out of desperation and squeeze his arm. I don’t get to call him Dad much anymore. Not with my real dad around. It feels weird and out of place. I think about how much it would hurt my real dad to hear it, but I rarely ever stop to think about how much it must have hurt Jax for me to give it up.

  And he just took a step back because I needed him to.

  Something releases and he looks at me. He strokes my cheek and I take a deep relaxing breath. “Okay, pumpkin.” Jax whispers. “I won’t go there. But we are going to find out what’s going on.”

  “How?” Through my peripheral vision, I see a dark coat approaching the car. “Someone’s coming.”

  Jax turns as the driver side door pulls open. “Can I help—?”

  Pop

  It happens so fast, I don’t see what’s happened, but I know the sound of a gunshot when I hear one. I’ve had a lot of experience with them.

  I’m sprayed with Jax’s blood as he s
lumps forward toward the steering wheel. Thunderous footsteps charge away from the car and I scream, dropping my melted fro-yo from my hand so I can grab Jax by the shoulder.

  “Dad!” I scream. My heart pounds and my blood pressure goes through the roof. My vision starts to darken, but I can make out Jax’s still features. His frozen eyes.

  He’s gone. Dead.

  But I don’t believe it. I won’t. I tear through my purse looking for a phone, but I can’t make anything out. My vision is fading.

  I’m going to pass out.

  “No,” I whisper. I struggle to hold on. The only thing I can feel is how cold my foot is, covered in a river of frozen yogurt like melted dreams. A young girl’s favorite thing to do with her step dad and now it’s washing away.

  Everything is.

  ****

  “Lara, the test has started.”

  I start and my eyelids flip open. I’m in my classroom and everyone is staring at me. “What?” How can any of this be? I just watched Jax get murdered so what gave me the right to take a history test?

  Glancing at the clock I see it’s just past lunch and I’m in the same clothes I was wearing in the car. Class has just started. “Sorry,” I mumble and pick up my pencil. Some kids snort and others roll their eyes. I used to be Lara Montgomery trendsetter, but now I’m just the punchline in a series of really lame time travel jokes.

  As I flip over my paper I realize my foot throbs cold with a small splatter of frozen yogurt on my toes.

  My heart skips a beat and my breath lodges in my throat.

  I haven’t been losing time. I’ve been moving forward in time without meaning to. And if I can’t stop it, in a few hours my step dad, Jax will be murdered.

  Which means I have to get out of there.

  Tossing my pencil down on the desk, I grab my bag and sprint for the door.

  The teacher stands and rushes after me. “Lara! Lara Montgomery, where do you think you’re going?”

  I pull open the door to the stairwell and toss him a shrug. “To save a life.”