Always, Wyeth

by Reina Torres

“Don’t you worry, Miss Weston. You’ll find your path.”

  She could only nod a reply, unable to think beyond putting one foot in front of the other as they walked along the main street of Three Rivers.

  Goodness. What had she just done?

  Chapter 11

  Anna met them at the door and with one look, rushed forward to take Tillie’s arm and escort her to the settee. “Don’t you worry, Tillie. Mama will be back in a bit. She went over to see the O’Neals; she heard that Mrs. O’Neal was feeling a little sickly today.” A quick glance at Tillie’s pale complexion set Anna into a flurry of motion. “Oh dear,” she clucked like a mother hen and touched Tillie’s forehead with the back of her hand, and Tillie couldn’t help the wan smile that tugged at her lips. Anna was mimicking her mother’s gentle ways. How lucky she was to have such a loving family.

  The thought brought on more tears. And a moment later, Anna was squished in between Tillie and the curved arm of the settee, her arms wrapped around Tillie in a gentle hug. “Don’t you worry, Tillie,” Anna leaned back slightly to catch her eye, “we’ll help you fix it. Whatever it is.”

  Tillie shook her head. She was so confused. “Why,” she wondered aloud, “why would you be so kind to me?”

  Anna gave her a big ebullient grin. “Because you’re a part of Three Rivers, Tillie. We love you like family.”

  The Captain surrendered his handkerchief and waited while Anna soothed Tillie’s tears.

  When Mrs. Hawkins returned home, she was happy to discover that they had guests waiting for her. The fact that she discovered them in her kitchen, hard at work, meant that she gave her daughter a reproachful look and an indulgent smile.

  “You have my apologies, Captain Merrick.”

  He laughed it off and finished peeling the potato in his hands and set it in the bowl. “Nonsense, Mrs. Hawkins. I spent my fair share of my first few years in the Army doing all sorts of odd jobs. After a while I had had my fill of potatoes. It was only a few years ago that I began to eat them again.”

  Olivia grinned. “I’m glad since I’m hoping that you will stay for supper now that we’ve made you work for it.”

  “I am sorry, Ma’am.” The Captain turned his gaze toward Tillie before he met Olivia’s eyes again. “I should be heading back.” Standing, he wiped his hands off on a towel and gave a little bow to Olivia. “Always a pleasure to see you and your family.”

  “And now we owe you supper.”

  He smiled, a genuine curve of his lips. “Always a welcome invitation.” He turned to look at Tillie, a question in his eyes.

  She stood and cleared her throat. “I’ll walk you out.”

  With a quick glance around the room, the Captain nodded and gestured toward the door.

  Outside, they stood on the porch together, and Tillie struggled to find the words to adequately explain her thoughts. “I am sorry.” They weren’t elegant words, but they were heartfelt. “You were only trying to help me and now my father is angry with you.”

  “Let him be angry.” The Captain’s tone was warm. “You should be his first concern. He was wrong to say those things to you.”

  “I disappointed him,” she explained and felt the hollow space around her heart. “I know I did, but I had no other choice. I’ve found where I want to live. I found friends who I don’t want to leave. I am going to stay.”

  He nodded. “You’re a strong woman, Miss Weston.” His chuckle made her smile even more. “When you stand up to someone, you certainly make a memorable impression.”

  Tillie looked up with a smile. “Now, all I have to do is find a job that will allow me to keep my room at the boarding house. That’s my first concern.”

  “If you need money-”

  “Oh, no!” She shook her head. “Please do not think that I was asking.”

  He shook his head and took her hand in both of his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I didn’t, but I would be more than happy to help if you should ever need it. I meant what I said, Miss Weston. I would like to be your friend and chess adversary whenever possible.” There was a distinctively mischievous glint in his eyes that warred with his mature looks. “I won’t admit it in public, but I don’t mind losing from time to time, if my opponent is worthy. And you, my dear friend, are a most worthy adversary.”

  She smiled and nodded. “Thank you. I feel the same way.”

  He lifted her hand and leaned over to brush a kiss over her knuckles, stopping short a moment later.

  Tillie turned her head to look and felt what little joy she’d recovered sink to the pit of her stomach. “Wyeth.”

  Wyeth and Luke were standing just a few feet away. Given the state of Wyeth’s hair and flush to his skin, the bundle tucked up under his arm, he’d come from the bath house across the street.

  “Miss Weston.” He looked at the Captain and nodded a stilted greeting.

  “I should go.”

  “No, please,” Wyeth’s voice was dull, and his dark grey eyes were hooded, “we didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  Tillie felt her world tilt on its axis as Wyeth ducked his head and started to move around the house with Luke fast on his heels, tugging at his sleeve.

  She moved across the porch, silently watching Wyeth walk away, again.

  He was nearly half way across the yard when the entire comedy of errors was called to a halt by a young woman in quite a temper.

  “Wyeth Bowles, you stop right there!”

  Wyeth stopped, but he didn’t turn around.

  Anna’s voice pummeled him again from the porch. “Don’t you play semantics with me, Wyeth.”

  He shook his head and looked at Luke who held up his hands in surrender. “Traitor.”

  Luke shrugged. “She makes the best scones. You don’t feed me.”

  Wyeth could hear Anna’s boot tapping on the floor. “Give that bundle to Luke and come up here.”

  He fairly threw the bundle into Luke’s waiting arms and knew that in moments, anyone in the bunkhouse was likely to file outside to watch his humiliation become complete.

  Turning on his heel, he walked up to the house and climbed the steps to the porch. He looked at the younger woman. “This isn’t a childish game, Anna.”

  Anna met his eyes with a challenge. “Don’t you think I know that, Wyeth? I’m not a child, not that anyone will believe me. I’ve heard your excuses and I’ve heard Tillie’s words, and I think the two of you are going to give me apoplexy. I’ll likely succumb to the attack and end up in an early grave. Papa will likely take it out on your hide, Wyeth, before Mama dissolves in tears at my graveside.” She took in a deep gasp of air and continued on. “Before this comes to pass and you find yourself begging my deceased spirit for forgiveness, you will sit down.” She turned to look at the young woman standing beside her. “Both of you.”

  Wyeth spared a look for Olivia and Levi, standing just on the other side of the screened door and he saw Tillie looking over his shoulder, and from the rumble of sound that he could hear he knew that his prediction had been right. The bunkhouse was likely empty and everyone was waiting to see what he was going to do.

  The deciding factor was Tillie.

  When he looked up into her face, he didn’t see shame or worry. He saw a tinge of red marring the otherwise perfection of her nose. He saw the pinched mark of worry between her brows. He saw the red rims of her eyes and read pain from within.

  No matter how much it hurt to see her with the Captain, he couldn’t stand to see her hurt.

  Holding out his hand to Tillie, he managed a small smile. “Please,” he heard the hitch in his voice and didn’t try to hide the heaviness in his heart, “sit down with me.”

  She set her hand in his and nodded. Walking her toward the swing, he offered her the seat that would keep all of the curious eyes from her face. Tillie offered him a soft grin as she sat down on one side. As Wyeth sat down on the other, they heard another rumble of sound from the yard, including some good-natured laughter and jesting from the riders
.

  The screen door of the house swung open, creaking on its hinge. “If you boys think you have all of this free time on your hands,” Levi’s tone was warm but brooked no argument, “then I have a long list of chores that could stand to be done… that’s what I thought,” he chuckled.

  “They’re all gone now.” Wyeth saw the sweet smile on Olivia’s face. “The two of you talk and when you’re done, Tillie,” Tillie turned her head enough to see Olivia, “I have something to ask you. I think it will make things easier for you.”

  Tillie nodded slowly and Wyeth’s worry deepened the ache in his chest.

  “Thank you, ma’am.” At Olivia’s pointed look, Tillie’s shoulders relaxed. “Thank you, Olivia.”

  “Good,” the station mistress replied, “now the two of you need to talk.”

  Levi held the door as Olivia stepped inside and let it swing closed after he stepped away.

  And just like that, they were alone.

  Wyeth realized he was still holding Tillie’s hand and slowly lowered her hand to her lap and then sat back and echoed the movement himself.

  “I want to thank you,” he started, “for coming today.”

  She nodded. “It was the right thing to do,” she explained. “You weren’t acting like yourself and I knew there had to be something amiss. You’re good at what you do, Wyeth, and you have your family to worry about-”

  “I worry about you too, Tillie.” He saw the shock in her reaction, the widening of her eyes, the catch in her breath. Would there ever be a moment when he would look at her and not be stunned by her beauty? “I acted the fool and I knew I was hurting you. I just couldn’t seem to stop myself, and still my tongue. Please, forgive me.”

  Wyeth watched her breathe. Watched her as her mind turned over his question again and again. He swore he could hear the seconds ticking away on his father’s watch that he had tucked safely away in his vest pocket. His heart was somehow silent within his chest as they waited.

  Her head shook, a quick quiver of movement that seemed more of a reflex than a conscious decision. It didn’t bode well for him.

  “I don’t know,” she paused and her hands trembled on her lap, “what you think you did.” Tillie took in a breath and continued. “I know that you weren’t responsible for last night. There’s no need to apologize for that, and beyond last night,” her expression changed, the searching look in her eyes softened, saddened, “you’ve been a gentleman, Wyeth. I only wish I knew what I did to make you stay away.”

  The truth hit him like a sucker punch to his gut.

  “Tillie,” she met his eyes, and he swore he’d do anything he had to do to put a smile back into those beautiful eyes, “I was just trying to make things easy for you.”

  Her mouth moved but she remained silent.

  “I went to see you when I came back from a ride, and Mademoiselle told me you’d gone to visit the Captain. She told me what your father meant to happen. At first,” he swallowed and yet the lump in his throat was stuck hard and fast, “I wanted to ignore it.

  “And then I thought about what that would mean for you.” He lifted up his hand and scrubbed it over the back of his neck. “If you married the captain, you’d never want for anything. He’d be able to take you around the world, give you the best of everything… clothing, food, precious gifts. I’m just a man who can ride a horse. I make jokes. I laugh more than I should. I can dance sometimes, if you’re not afraid of me stepping on your toes a time or two.”

  He saw her stricken look and sat back against the porch swing.

  “I just thought if I stayed away,” he swallowed again and still couldn’t clear his throat, “that there wouldn’t be a problem.”

  “You thought…” her voice trailed off and her fingers clenched in her lap, gathering her skirt in her hands. “You stopped talking to me because you thought I should marry Captain Merrick?”

  He heard the shock in her voice, but he also saw something in her eyes. “It made sense… at first.”

  “At first?” Tillie rose from the porch swing, and her hands flattened against her middle. “And then? What happened after that?”

  “After that?” Wyeth grabbed a hold of the chain on his side of the swing and helped himself back onto his feet. “Every second after that, I knew the truth.” He held out a hand to her, knowing that she had every right to push it away. “The last thing I wanted to do was stay away from you. And every time I told myself that it was for the best… that it was the best for you… my heart told me what a fool I was. What a fool I still am today.” He took a step closer, wanting to look into her eyes. “I saw you with him and I should have offered my well wishes to you and the Captain. I should tell him to take care of you. Tell him what a treasure he has in you. That was all in my head. All the reasons you should accept him and marry him and be happy the rest of your life.”

  “That was all in your head?” Tillie’s lips eased from the pale, thin line they’d formed and came so very close to a smile.

  Wyeth nodded. “It was pretty crowded in there for bit.”

  She nodded, slowly, her eyes focused on his face. It was a sight and a sensation that he welcomed and struggled to memorize so he could revisit the feelings later.

  “Beyond what was in my head, Tillie,” Wyeth drew in a long breath to steady his nerves, “I’d like to tell you what’s in my heart and see if I can repair the damage I’ve done between us.”

  She nodded. “I’d like to hear it.”

  He smiled and felt a small spark of hope in his chest.

  “Before you came here,” he admitted, “one of our riders, Clay, had just married his love, and Luke told me I was next.” He laughed but it was a soft chuckle at his own expense. “I told him… well, I told him that I wasn’t going to fall. That just wasn’t me. I’m the one that the others laugh at, and that hasn’t changed. They can have a big ol’ belly laugh at my expense now, because I have fallen… for you.

  “It took all of one look and the space of a heartbeat and I was yours.”

  She took a step back, her eyes narrowing at him. “That can’t be true.”

  “Why not?” He worried about the tears forming on her lashes. Had he waited too long?

  “How could you want me to marry the Captain if you… if you-”

  “When I care for you myself?” He didn’t need her to answer. “Because a man can do stupid things when his head and his heart don’t see eye to eye. And I tried to do right by you, Tillie. It sounds stupid when I say it out loud instead of in my head, but it’s the truth.”

  “And now?”

  “Now,” he laughed a little bit louder, “now there’s no hiding how I feel for you, and I don’t want to. All that matters to me is making you happy. If you want to marry the Captain, I’ll wish you well. I’ll even get you a pretty present,” he explained. “But don’t expect me to stand there through the ceremony because I don’t think I could keep quiet when the minister asks if anyone has reason.” He moved closer, closing the distance between them. “I’d most likely throw myself at your feet, make a spectacle of myself and shame my family, but for you, Tillie Weston, I don’t think I have any shame left. Just love.”

  Tillie felt a little weak in her knees, not that it was appropriate for her to speak of such matters. Knees and anything covered by her clothing were strictly off-limits, her companion had said.

  Her head was swimming with what Wyeth had told her. The feelings and actions that he’d admitted to. “I… I don’t know how I feel, Wyeth.”

  She saw the worry on his face, the dark look of guilt on his handsome face.

  “I wish it was that easy, Wyeth. I waited to hear from you. I wanted to hear from you.” She drew in a breath, “If I had more freedom I would have sought you out myself.” She shook her head, and she felt a length of hair pull from her upswept hair. It was, she felt, and adequate illustration of her current mindset. She was, in a word, unraveling.

  “I knew my father’s intentions.” Her laugh was l
ike his had been before, tight and tense. “One would have to be blind not to see what he wanted to happen. I enjoyed my visit at the ranch and found Captain Merrick to be a smart man who is as good at chess as he is a gentleman.

  “He offered to escort me to the social to make my father happy and,” her throat was suddenly dry, “to give me a chance to speak with you.”

  The reaction was immediate. Wyeth sat down on the railing as if his legs had lost the will to stand. He shook his head, scraped his fingers through his hair, and dug a boot heel into the floorboards. “I’ve really made a mess of this, haven’t I?” He didn’t wait for her answer. “I was stupid, pig-headed, an obnoxious bore. How can you even stand to talk to me?”

  He looked up at her, and she saw the truth in his eyes. He wasn’t just saying the words just to get her to accept his apology. He was speaking from his heart and she had to speak from hers.

  “I’m talking to you, Wyeth, because I care about you. You make my heart jump and flutter, things I’ve never felt before. Being this close to you makes me want to smile, and I wish that you’d asked me to dance at the social.

  “You say you stayed away from me to make me happy, to give me a chance at the best kind of life.” She smiled and blinked back the tears that made her vision swim. “But you didn’t ask me what I wanted.” She lifted her hand and touched her fingers over her heart. The hard wall of her corset offered her no comfort from the ache she felt. “That hurts me, Wyeth. While I appreciate your honesty, I’m not sure if it matters now.”

  That got him on his feet, his hands closing around hers. “Please, Tillie, give me a chance. I’ve learned my lesson.”

  The warmth of his hands burned through her skin, but she couldn’t pull away. “My father wants to send me back to Boston. He’s sent Mademoiselle packing. The Captain and I have informed my father that while we are likely to be very good friends, we have no intention of anything more between us.”

  Wyeth’s hands tightened ever so slightly around hers. “Then stay.”