When We Found Home

by Susan Mallery

  Keira kept looking at her. Finally she blurted, “We have the same freckles. Malcolm said but I didn’t know if I could believe him. Do you like yours? I can’t decide. Sometimes I like mine and sometimes I think they’re ugly.”

  Without considering the consequences of the action, Callie reached for Keira and pulled her close. Keira was still for a second, then hung on with her free arm. The kitten squirmed between them before settling down and starting to purr.

  Tears burned. Callie willed them away. To cry was to show weakness, she reminded herself.

  “Your freckles are adorable,” Callie whispered. “Now that I’ve seen yours, I like mine better.”

  They drew back and Keira grinned at her. “Me, too.” She handed over Lizzy. “I’ve only had her since Wednesday. Monday before school I was having hot chocolate with Delaney who never lets me get coffee, by the way, even though lots of kids drink coffee. Anyway, I saw this kitten in the street and ran out to save it and was hit by a car.” She shifted her long hair back so Callie could see the fading bruise on her face. “Delaney kept Lizzy for a couple of days and now she’s here. Do you like cats?”

  “I’ve never had a pet, but yes, I like cats.” She’d always hoped to have a dog or a cat one day, although that dream had seemed a long way off.

  “She lives in my room for now. I mean she’s small and the house is really big.” Keira looked around. “You have suitcases. That’s nice. I have a hatbox I used. When my mom died and social services came, Angelina said she didn’t want me to carry my clothes around in a trash bag like some foster kids, so she gave me her favorite hatbox.” Her mouth trembled at the corners. “I still miss her, but it’s been a long time since I lived with her. I tried texting her, but the number’s changed.”

  Her expression brightened. “Did you see your new phone and tablet? Malcolm isn’t exactly friendly but he buys the best electronics. I had to get a computer for school and he got me a MacBook Air. I love it.” She wrinkled her nose. “I go to this very classy private school. We have to wear a uniform. The girls wear plaid. It’s ridiculous.”

  Callie appreciated the chatter. It kept her from having to say too much. She still felt incredibly confused by everything that was happening, but Keira’s friendly conversation was safe and grounding.

  “Do you have a lot of friends?” Callie asked.

  “Some. It’s hard to make new friends.”

  “It can be.” Callie petted Lizzy. “Try giving compliments. They have to be sincere, of course, but girls really like hearing you think their shoes are nice or their hair is pretty. Guys probably don’t care what you think of their shoes.”

  Keira grinned. “Right? I don’t get boys at all. A couple of girls I know want boyfriends, but why? Anyway, school’s okay. I like what we’re studying. At my old school the classes were really easy. Here I have to work harder, but that’s okay.”

  She paused, then said, “I’m glad you’re here. I hope you like it and stay.”

  “Me, too. The sister thing is...” She searched for the right word.

  “Bizarre,” Keira said, drawing out the syllables. “But nice.” She scrambled to her feet and reached for Lizzy. “Okay, now I’m going to do what Malcolm said and leave you alone to get settled. Want me to come get you before dinner? We can walk down together.”

  “I’d like that very much.”

  “Good. See you then.”

  Keira ran out of the room, the kitten in her arms. Callie stayed where she was on the floor and looked around. The space seemed less intimidating now that she knew Keira was next door. She had no idea what was going to happen over the next few days, but the fear had mostly faded. She reached for a piece of cheese and took a bite, then got up and plugged in one of the night-lights.

  First she would unpack, she told herself. Then she would shower and maybe after that she would check out her new phone. Not that she had anyone to call or text, but maybe that would change. With luck, she had been given a brand-new start. If that was the case, she was determined to take advantage of every opportunity. Screwing up had too high a price.

  * * *

  Delaney’s small condo came with a few unexpected features. When the weather was nice, she had a peekaboo view of Mount Rainier from her balcony, the garden window in the kitchen had a built-in tray for herbs, and there were his and hers closets in the bedroom.

  When Delaney had decided to totally change her life, turning her back on corporate America and returning to college to become a naturopath, she’d divided her wardrobe into a before and after configuration. Her before life clothes included her beautiful suits, silk blouses, expensive shoes and a handful of cocktail dresses she wore to various events. Her after wardrobe was much more simple. Yoga pants, T-shirts, a couple of pairs of jeans, sweaters, tennis shoes and boots. She had three hoodies in different weights of fabric, depending on the weather, and a leather moto jacket she’d bought at a consignment store. She kept the before closet door shut and rarely went inside. One day she would have to decide what to do with those clothes, but not today.

  At four o’clock on Saturday afternoon, she put down her mug of tea and walked barefoot into the large bedroom and crossed to the closed door. She was meeting Malcolm for dinner and knew that however soft the fabric, yoga pants would not cut it.

  She opened the door and flipped the switch on the light, then waited for the kick in the gut that was recent but nonetheless painful.

  Maybe it was silly, but she loved these clothes. Loved them. They were stylish, well tailored and pretty. She’d always felt confident and successful in her suits.

  She still remembered the summer between her freshman and sophomore years of college when she’d joined an on-campus organization for future women business leaders. One of the speakers had been an image consultant, and she’d explained the importance of looking the part. Delaney had not only taken her advice to heart, she’d worked extra hours at her summer job to pay for a shopping session.

  Monique had taken her to the downtown Nordstrom where Delaney had discovered the difference between a $110 Anne Klein jacket and a $600 Boss jacket. She’d tried on every suit brand and had learned that Classiques Entier clothes fit her perfectly and that no one made a Ponte pant better than Eileen Fisher.

  Monique had then taken her to the designer department where Delaney had nearly thrown up when she’d seen the price of an Armani blazer. But when she’d put it on, she’d fallen completely and totally in love. She’d also discovered that the St. John collection had been made for her body type, especially their conservative but elegant dresses.

  None of her friends back in the neighborhood had understood her obsession with the perfect interview suit. While they’d been saving for summer strappy sandals, Delaney had been putting away all the cash she could for the perfect silk shell. She’d made friends with one of the sales associates who worked the designer department at Nordstrom, haunting the aisles until the kind woman took pity and told her about an upcoming sale. Delaney had walked into her first job interview wearing Armani.

  She remembered the feeling of confidence, of knowing she looked the part. She wanted to be successful and it showed.

  Now she ran her hand along the sleeves of her suits before turning to the dresses hanging neatly together. Nothing too fancy, she thought. It was just dinner. She picked up a black sheath and put it back, then reached for a dress she’d bought but had never worn.

  It was dark green, a Jason Wu textured jacquard fit-and-flare sleeveless dress. At the bottom of the full skirt was an unexpected touch of small gold-tone grommets. Given that it was still April and cool, she would top the dress with a black leather jacket. She had simple black heels and her go-to diamond studs.

  As she collected the various pieces, she hesitated before opening the small jewelry box sitting on top of the built-in dresser. She’d bought the earrings herself after her second promotion. She�
�d gotten a sizable raise and after saving for several months, she’d walked into Tiffany & Co. and purchased the diamond studs.

  Her dad had been proud, but Tim had been furious and they’d fought for days. He refused to see the earrings as a sign of her accomplishment. Instead, he’d felt they were a slap—something he couldn’t afford to buy her. He told her that women weren’t supposed to buy their own jewelry—not like that. It was emasculating.

  All her friends from the neighborhood had sided with Tim. All her work friends had told her she was doing the right thing—that she had every right to celebrate the good things in her life. She and Tim had agreed to disagree and had never discussed the studs again, but every time she’d worn them, she’d felt his disapproval.

  As she stared at the earrings resting in the palm of her hand, she wondered if she should sell them. Maybe the bad memories were just too strong. Maybe she had been wrong to want tangible proof of what she’d achieved. Only she’d felt so good buying them and so proud when she wore them. Deep down inside, she’d always believed Tim was wrong to think the way he did. Now she chided herself for being disloyal.

  Delaney showered and did her makeup, then dressed. She tried to remember the last time she’d been out to dinner with a man who wasn’t Tim or her father. If she excluded work events, then the answer was simple: never. She shook her head. She was twenty-nine years old and about to have her first date since she was sixteen? Holy crap—how had that happened?

  She knew the answer, of course. She’d fallen for Tim in high school, had dated him through college, then gotten engaged to him. If he hadn’t died, they would be married by now and she’d probably be a mother or at least pregnant.

  She finished getting ready, then opened her Uber app to get a car. Twenty minutes later, she walked into the Metropolitan Grill and saw Malcolm was already there.

  In the second before he noticed her, she took in the clean line of his jaw and how confident and handsome he looked. He was a man who took control, who wasn’t intimidated by much. She smiled—one exception to that might be his twelve-year-old sister.

  He turned and spotted her. Appreciation and interest darkened his eyes as he approached.

  “You made it,” he said, bending down and kissing her cheek. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you.”

  He gave his name to the hostess who seated them at a quieter booth. The restaurant was a Seattle mainstay, serving excellent steaks and generous portions. Delaney was already planning to use her leftover fillet on a salad for lunch the following day.

  They ordered cocktails—scotch for him and a lemon drop for her. When their server had left, she leaned toward him.

  “Tell me everything. How is Keira? How’s the new sister? I’ve been wondering what it must be like to have unexpected family suddenly appear and I honestly have no idea.”

  “Could we start with something simple, like how to solve climate change?”

  “That tough?”

  “That confusing. Keira is doing much better. She’s caught up on her schoolwork, is taking great care of her kitten and playing music too loud.”

  Delaney laughed. “A typical twelve-year-old.”

  “Apparently. Callie arrived yesterday.” He hesitated. “She’s quiet. This is a big change for her. She and Keira have the same freckles. Keira says all three of us have the same smile, but to quote her from dinner last night I ‘never smile, so it will take a while to see it.’”

  “Ouch. For what it’s worth, I think you smile the correct amount.”

  “There’s a limit?”

  “Sometimes. Keira is very honest in her appraisals.”

  “Tell me about it. I’m still dealing with being the asshole brother. Or rather trying not to be.” He shook his head. “Okay, it’s been five minutes and we’ve gotten way too serious and deep for a first date. Want to start over?”

  “Not really. This is good. We’re getting to know each other.” She liked that he was troubled by his baby sister’s assessments. Some people would have brushed aside a twelve-year-old’s opinion but Malcolm had taken her words to heart.

  Their server returned with their drinks. Malcolm raised his glass.

  “To not smiling too much.”

  She laughed. “Absolutely.”

  “Tell me about your dad being in the hospital,” he said. “Is everything all right now?”

  “It is. He was a Seattle PD cop who was shot in the line of duty. He’s in a wheelchair now. It was a tough adjustment but he did great. The whole city rallied to help.”

  He frowned. “When was this?”

  “About eighteen months ago.”

  “I remember when it happened. Wasn’t there another police officer—one who was killed?”

  She set down her glass. “There was. Tim and I grew up together. We started dating when I was in high school and we were four weeks from getting married when he died.”

  Malcolm stared at her. “I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you. It was really difficult. Dealing with the loss and worrying about my dad.” Feelings swamped her—like familiar friends who reminded her of a time she wanted to forget. “Everyone on the street where Tim and I grew up rallied and that helped. I pretty much lived at the hospital for three months. That’s how I know everyone.”

  She didn’t tell him how the sense of comfort had morphed over the weeks—how by the time her dad was able to go home she’d felt trapped. As if everyone was allowed to move on but her. Everyone was allowed to heal and change, except her. She was supposed to mourn Tim forever, to never be whole without him.

  “My dad’s doing great,” she continued. “He’s healthy. He doesn’t see the wheelchair as a handicap. It just is.” She smiled. “He started dating Tim’s mother and they’re getting married. In fact they’re taking their first cruise in the fall.”

  “That’s great. You must be relieved to know he’s happy.”

  “I am.”

  “What about you? Are you happy?”

  An unexpected question. “Most of time,” she lied. “I spent about a year feeling lost and confused, then I decided to quit my job and go back to college.”

  “What did you used to do?”

  “I worked in finance, at Boeing.” She’d been on the fast track for senior management. She’d been tapped early and given challenging assignments. At first Tim had been proud, but then he’d worried that her job was too important to her.

  Malcolm raised his eyebrows. “My best friend is a finance guy. Numbers rule.”

  She grinned. “You know it.”

  “You’ve made a one-eighty turn. Are you excited about your field of study?”

  “At this point, I’m mostly nervous. I’m making up the classes I missed getting my business degree. Right now that means math and science.”

  “That’s right, you’re taking biology. How was the dissection?”

  “Delayed. Keira grossed me out by mentioning it might have been an inventory problem somewhere.”

  “Not a supply chain we want to talk about.” He studied her for a second. “You’re impressive.”

  The compliment surprised her. “Why would you say that?”

  “Look at all you’ve been through in the past couple of years. It would have immobilized most people, but here you are, moving in a completely different direction. You’re fearless. I admire that, and maybe I’m a little envious.”

  “Why?”

  He leaned toward her and lowered his voice. “Promise not to tell anyone?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’m inheriting a family business, which means my future was set for me long ago. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t want to do anything else. I’ve been very lucky and I get that, but every now and then I daydream about what it would be like to have taken another path.”

  “Such as?”


  He grinned. “No idea. Some days I think it would be nice to fly jets for the navy.”

  “Land on an aircraft carrier?”

  “Biggest rush around. Or maybe captain a charter boat in the Caribbean.”

  “Those are not the same thing.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  She smiled. “They are also both serious ‘I’m in charge’ positions, so whatever you daydream about, you’re never a follower.”

  “You’re right. Whatever it is, it’s fun to think about, but at the end of the day, I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

  “A good feeling.”

  “It is.”

  She sipped her drink, all the while envying his sense of certainty. Ever since the shooting, she’d been lost. Nothing had felt right and it still didn’t.

  No, she thought, knowing it was stupid to lie to herself. Her sense of wrong place, wrong time had started long before the shooting. It had started when Tim had proposed. Although she’d known it was coming, she was still surprised. So surprised, she’d almost not said yes. Only it had been Tim and weren’t they supposed to be together always?

  Not questions to think about while with another man, she reminded herself. Especially a handsome, successful guy who worried about his new-to-him sister. Better for her to be happy about her good fortune and let the rest of it take care of itself.

  “So,” she said, her voice teasing. “I’m thinking of having fish.”

  Malcolm stared at her. “Is this you being funny, because do you know where we are?”

  She grinned. “You are so easy.”

  “I can be, if that’s interesting.”

  She laughed. “It just might be.”

  * * *

  The evening flew by. Delaney had been prepared for awkward silences as they got to know each other, but conversation had flowed. Malcolm told her about growing up in Portland with a single mother until they moved to Seattle when he was twelve and how hard it had been to settle into a new life. She talked about what it was like living on a street where everyone knew everything about her and she had dozens of moms to fill in for the one she’d never known. She even mentioned how, at the end of the day, those fill-in moms had gone back to their own families, leaving her behind.