When We Found Home

by Susan Mallery

  She felt herself flush even as squishy, gooey feelings started to overwhelm her. “Don’t be too impressed. It’s not that big a deal.”

  “Yeah, it is. What did Malcolm say?”

  The squishy went away, leaving her uncomfortable. “He wasn’t impressed.”

  Santiago touched her face. “That’s not like him. Let me—”

  She took a step back. “No. Don’t bring this up. It’s my thing and I’ll deal with it myself.”

  “But—”

  “No. You getting involved isn’t heroic. I need to figure out my relationship with Malcolm myself. I mean it. You can’t fix this, but you can make it worse.”

  “Okay,” he said, his tone serious. “I will respect your wishes on this. You have my word.”

  Something she could trust, she thought with relief. She didn’t understand why Santiago wanted to be with her—there had to be a million women out there who would fall all over themselves to be with him. Maybe she was due for some good luck, she thought wistfully. Maybe, just this one time, she was going to get a break.

  “So how are you with heights?” he asked unexpectedly.

  “They don’t bother me. Why?”

  He turned her around and pointed. In the distance she saw a huge Ferris wheel right on the edge of the sound.

  “We have to do that,” she breathed. “I’ll bet you can see forever from the top.”

  He took her hand in his and grinned. “Let’s go find out.”

  * * *

  Delaney couldn’t remember the last time she’d cooked dinner at home for more than just herself. Not since the shooting, she thought as she slid puff pastry appetizers into the oven and set the timer. But even before that, Tim had never been a fan of her condo and preferred that they went out or over to his mom’s for meals.

  She checked the set table in the dining room. From where she stood, with the big window behind her, she could survey much of her condo. It was a fairly standard one bedroom with a small den. The walls were white, the hardwood a medium brown and the carpeting neutral beige.

  She’d liked the location and the building. The neighborhood was desirable and there was plenty of shopping within walking distance. Her plan had been to fix the place up with paint colors and a few throw rugs. She’d wanted to get nicer furniture instead of the hand-me-down pieces she’d picked up along the way.

  But somehow that had never happened. While she’d been proud of herself for being able to buy the condo on her own, she’d been upset that Tim hadn’t been supportive. He’d wanted them to save for a house instead and she’d never been able to explain her need to have a little pre-marriage independence. After he’d been killed, she hadn’t had the energy or interest in doing anything to her place. Now, as she saw the lack of anything personal anywhere and the bare walls, she wondered if it was finally time to figure out what she wanted from her home.

  She shook off her musings and returned her attention to the table. Everything was in place. She’d even bought a bottle Malcolm’s very expensive scotch for their cocktail time. She glanced at the clock, then smiled. It was exactly six. Malcolm was always prompt so she would expect...

  He knocked on her door. She was still laughing when she opened it.

  “Are you ever late?” she asked, pulling him inside.

  “Only in extreme emergencies.” He kissed her, then drew back. “Delaney, I’m not sure dinner is a good idea.”

  For a second she thought he was suggesting they make love first and was about to say everything but the appetizers could wait but then she saw the worry in his eyes.

  “What is it?” she asked, leading him to the sofa. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Everything.” Instead of sitting, he shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Lately I’m screwing up everything I touch and I don’t want to screw up things with you. That’s too important to me.” He looked at her. “You’re too important to me.”

  “Are we talking work? Personal life?”

  “My family.”

  She moved close and put her hands on his shoulders. “Listen to me very closely. Every second with you doesn’t have to be a party. We’re involved. That means we deal with whatever’s going on in each other’s lives. I happen to like everyone in your family, so maybe I’m a good person to talk to about whatever’s going wrong.”

  He shook his head. “You’re not going to like me very much when I’m done.”

  She smiled. “Who says I like you now?”

  The teasing comment earned her a slight smile. He sat down on the sofa and she curled up in the wing chair opposite. The timer would ding to let her know the appetizers were ready. Until then, she wanted to listen.

  He leaned forward, his forearms resting on his thighs. He sucked in a breath.

  “I saw Keira’s therapist yesterday for an update,” he began, his voice low. “The good news is Keira’s doing better. The bad news is we have a fuller picture of where she started.”

  Delaney waited quietly. This was his story to tell.

  “She’s not sleeping well. Apparently she sometimes thinks her bedroom is too big and she sleeps in her closet. Even then she has nightmares and Callie comes and gets her.”

  He raised his head and stared at her. “I had no idea. I thought everything was fine. I was barely paying attention to her and I didn’t get her into therapy when I should have.”

  “You’ve changed all that,” she said gently.

  “Now. What about before? She’s a kid and I let her be scared. She’s still hoarding money even though I’ve tried to tell her she’ll never be asked to leave. I thought explaining she owned a third of the house would help, but that doesn’t seem to have made any difference. When I talk to her, she seems fine, but then I listen to her therapist and wonder how Keira makes it through the day.”

  “How’s she doing in school?”

  “Good. Her grades are coming up and she’s making friends.” He smiled at her. “She likes you a lot.”

  “I like her, too.”

  “She likes Callie.”

  “That’s something.”

  He lowered his gaze to the floor. “Callie’s really been there for her, which I appreciate. But...” He swore quietly, then looked at her.

  “I blew it with Callie.”

  The timer went off just then. Delaney laughed.

  “Literally saved by the bell.”

  They both stood and walked into the small kitchen. She took the cookie sheet out of the oven and put the little puff pastries onto a small tray. She’d already pulled out the ingredients for her cosmo. Malcolm quickly made her drink, then poured himself a scotch. They took everything back to the sofa where she sat next to him.

  “Tell me about Callie,” she said.

  “I didn’t like her at first,” he admitted, then sighed. “No, I didn’t know her well enough to like or dislike her, but I didn’t trust her.” He glanced at Delaney. “It’s complicated.”

  “I believe you. And now?”

  “She’s great with Keira, she’s doing well at work, everyone likes her.”

  “And?”

  “And we keep butting heads.”

  “Maybe you’re too much alike. You’re siblings, so you probably have some personality traits in common. When we don’t like something in someone else, a lot of the time it’s because we don’t like it in ourselves. Maybe Callie reminds you of you.”

  He stared at her. “I never thought of that. Maybe. She came to me to ask about some stuff for work. HR issues and a lever on a machine. I took care of all of it, but then she wanted to talk about adding products to our catalog. Items geared toward children.”

  “Why not?” Delaney asked. “Anyone who can afford to shop regularly from the catalog can afford to indulge their children.”

  “You’re saying we’re expensive?” he aske
d with a grin.

  “High-end.”

  “That’s part of the appeal.”

  “So I’ve heard. Anyway, Callie had an idea and...”

  “I basically told her she should go to college and figure out what she was doing first. Not in those words, but close enough.”

  Delaney winced. “She didn’t take it well.”

  “No. I apologized, but it was too late. She said she’d never met our father, but from what she’d heard, I was just like him.” He glanced at her again. “It wasn’t a compliment.”

  “I got that. Have you talked to her about it?”

  “Not yet. I don’t know what to say.”

  He put down his drink and stood, then walked to the window and faced her.

  “I was engaged before.”

  Something she hadn’t known, but wasn’t surprising. “What happened?”

  “A couple of months before the wedding, I caught her in bed with my father.”

  Delaney gasped. “No! That’s not possible. I mean of course it happened, but oh my God. Malcolm. I’m so sorry.”

  He looked out the window. “I couldn’t believe it. I knew he was a womanizer, but Rachel was my fiancée. Plus it never occurred to me she would cheat. Obviously that ended things.”

  “What happened with your father?”

  He faced her again. “I knew I couldn’t stay in the company or be around my father. I was packing to leave town when my grandfather came to see me. I told him I had to go.” His jaw tightened. “He begged me not to. He said he would throw my father out, but he wanted me to stay. So I agreed and the next day Jerry was gone. I don’t know what my grandfather said, but Jerry left Seattle and I never spoke to him again.”

  Delaney could barely breathe. She’d had no idea there was this much pain in Malcolm’s past.

  “Alberto never said anything but I know he missed his only son. As far as I can tell, they never saw each other again, either, and then Jerry died.”

  He looked at her. “Jerry was never much of a father to me. We rarely spoke and he wasn’t interested in me at all. I never got to know him. When I was a kid, I tried to get his attention but he made it clear he didn’t have time for me so after a while, I stopped trying. I moved on and after what happened with Rachel, I was grateful he was gone. I suppose I hated him for what he’d done. But it wasn’t like that for Alberto. I took Jerry away from my grandfather. I broke his heart.”

  “No.” She came to her feet and crossed to him. “No, you didn’t. He slept with your fiancée. He fathered children all around the country and never bothered to take care of them. He’s the bad guy, Malcolm. Not you.”

  “I broke my grandfather’s heart,” he repeated.

  “No, you didn’t. Alberto adores you. You and your sisters are the reason he gets up every morning. He loves you.”

  “He loved his son.”

  “That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.”

  “You don’t get it,” he told her. “I’m good at work. I’m not good at anything else.”

  She wrapped her arms around him. “You’re good at me and you’re getting better at the other stuff. Just keep trying.”

  He hugged her back, holding her tightly. “What do you see in me?”

  “You’re very good in bed.”

  He chuckled. “Thanks. I guess that’s something.”

  “It’s a start.”

  “It’s not anything I would have printed on a business card.”

  She looked at him. “Oh, I don’t know. It would sure be a conversation starter.” She released him and smoothed the front of his shirt. “Malcolm, you’re a good guy. Trust yourself and take care of your family. The rest will fall into place. I’ve been through a lot of crap, so I know what I’m talking about.”

  “Thanks for listening.”

  “You’re welcome. Now eat some of the appetizers. I took them out of the freezer and put them on a cookie sheet with my own delicate hands.”

  “I’m impressed.”

  “You should be.”

  They returned to the sofa. Delaney was mentally reeling from what he’d told her, but she would have to process it all later. For now Malcolm needed her full attention. He’d shown her what he thought was the darkest, worst part of himself. It was up to her to let him know she hadn’t been scared away.

  chapter twenty

  Callie stood in the hall outside of her brother’s home study. She really didn’t want to talk to him, but she knew she didn’t have a choice. Despite how he’d not been interested in her ideas for offering child-specific foods and packages, he’d totally come through on everything else.

  The annoying lever on the cellophane machine had been fixed and HR had issued a statement revising the vacation policy to allow employees to donate their days off to someone else. Both of the issues were far more important than her ideas about cupcakes in a jar, she told herself. She would thank Malcolm and move on.

  She knocked on the door and waited for his “Come in.” She mentally braced herself before walking inside and faking a smile.

  “Do you have a second?” she asked.

  “Sure. What’s up?”

  He motioned to the chair opposite his desk but she figured she wouldn’t be there long enough to bother sitting down.

  “I wanted to thank you for following through at work,” she said. “The lever is much better now and Frankie can take off three days next week to be with Levi when he has his next round of treatments.”

  Malcolm’s gaze was steady. “You’re welcome. Thank you for bringing the problems to my attention. The lever should have been fixed immediately. As for the HR policy, that misunderstanding has been taken care of.”

  “I noticed my supervisor has been out for a couple of days.”

  “He’s getting retrained.”

  She couldn’t help smiling. “If this were a science fiction movie or an action thriller, retrained could have ominous consequences.”

  “Hopefully it won’t come to that.”

  He stood and walked around the desk until he was in front of her. “Callie, I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to tell me your ideas before. I know how you feel about separating work from home so I won’t ask you to tell me about them now, but I really would like to talk about what you were thinking.”

  She searched his face as if she could find answers there. While she wanted to believe him, honestly, she just wasn’t sure she could trust him.

  “What?” he asked, his voice filled with frustration. “What did I say wrong now?”

  “Nothing. I’ll put together some material and set up a meeting.”

  His jaw tightened, then relaxed. “Callie, I don’t want to be the asshole brother. You’re my sister and I want you to be happy here. I want us to get along. I don’t know why we got off on the wrong foot, but I’d really like to know if you think we can change that now.”

  Okay, that was honest, she thought, a little surprised he was willing to put it all out there. Maybe she should return the favor.

  “I thought you were judging me.”

  He frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I thought you were judging me about having been in prison, that you were waiting for me to steal the family silver.”

  “I don’t think there is any family silver.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I do.” He motioned to the chair again. “Can you please sit down?”

  “Sure.”

  She plopped into the chair. He surprised her by taking the one next to her rather than returning to his desk.

  “I was judging you,” he admitted. “I didn’t know what to expect. I guess I had some caricature in my mind. I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too. I’m not a bad person, Malcolm.”

  “I know. When it comes to Keira you’re a m
uch better sibling than I am.” He leaned back against the chair. “Parenting sucks and I’m always getting it wrong.”

  “You’re not doing so bad.”

  “I’ve left Keira to take care of herself. I didn’t get her into counseling.” His gaze met hers. “I didn’t know she was scared of her bedroom and sleeping in the closet. I didn’t know about the nightmares and the screaming.”

  Callie felt herself flush. “That’s getting better. She hardly ever has nightmares anymore and she’s sleeping in her bed more and more.”

  “See? You know that and I don’t. It’s not that I don’t care about her. It’s just...”

  She waited, wondering what he was going to say.

  “I’m not very good with people,” he admitted. “In high school, I was all about learning and getting into college. I hardly had any friends. Santiago really helped loosen me up.”

  She did her best not to react to hearing Santiago’s name. Just thinking about him made her feel all fluttery inside—which was incredibly stupid. She was very aware that she was living on borrowed time with him. The second he found out about her past, he was going to dump her and run for the hills.

  “You were good for him, too,” she said, trying to sound casual instead of giddy. “That’s what friendship is about. Helping each other.”

  “I’d like us to be friends.”

  “Me, too.” The words were automatic and it took her a second to realize she meant them. “Look, we have something in common.”

  “More than that. We’re related by blood.”

  Something she still had trouble processing. “I know almost nothing about our father. What I have heard isn’t great. My mom never said much and I know she loved me, but I’m sure getting pregnant and then having to be a single mom totally messed up her life.”

  She thought about how Keira had been abandoned by her mother, her own tough circumstances. She wasn’t sure what had gone on between Malcolm and Jerry, but she sensed they hadn’t been close.

  “Is there anything positive you can tell me about our father?” she asked.

  He thought for a second. “He was really good with women.”