Suddenly Us

by Marie Skye

  I watched her walk out as Hawkins leaned over me, smothering me in a hug. When he pulled back, I noted the tears in his eyes.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I never should’ve left.”

  I struggled to talk. “You can’t always be there.”

  “Yeah. I can.”

  We were quiet a moment, and he finally took out his phone. “Emmalin’s been worried sick. Grayson finally convinced her to grab a bite to eat. They’re downstairs in the cafeteria. She should be on her way up any minute.”

  “You came back?”

  His eyes widened. “Of course, I came back. I will always come back.”

  Just then Emmalin came in, Grayson behind her. Her eyes were red rimmed as she walked right over to me and hugged me.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m okay. Just sore all over.”

  Her tears fell harder. “God, you scared me. When I got the call, I thought…” She couldn’t even finish her sentence before she started crying harder. Grayson came up behind her, pulling her to him.

  I gave a light chuckle. “I’m strong, remember?”

  Emmalin’s cries turned into laughs. Suddenly it occurred to me. “Did my parents come? Are they here?”

  Emmalin’s face grew ashen all of a sudden. “I called your mother the moment it happened. She hasn’t come yet.”

  I shut my eyes, and Emmalin urged on. “But, I’m sure she’s on her way. All of them.”

  I smirked. “I was out a day and a half. If they’re not here by now, they won’t be.” It got quiet after that. It’s no secret that my family is shitty, but nothing like a life or death situation, for them to really prove that their own daughter means shit to them.

  The nurse poked her head back into the room. “There’s two detectives that want to speak to you.”

  Worry quickly overtook me, and I nodded. Grayson looked at Emmalin. “We’ll be back in the morning.”

  “First thing in the morning,” Emmalin interjected. She gave me one last hug, before she and Grayson left.

  Hawkins stood to my side, as the two detectives walked in.

  “Hello. I’m Detective Stone, and this is my partner, Detective Williams. Ms. Lockwood, we have a few questions for you, if you don’t mind?” Hawkins’s grip on my hand tightened, as I nodded. “We’ll try to make this brief. Would you by any chance know who the assailant could be?”

  “It was my ex. Blake.”

  The detective crinkled his brow. “We checked him out. He couldn’t have, he had an alibi, and it was confirmed on camera.”

  I tried searching my memory. Everything was still foggy. I thought back to that night. I looked at Hawkins. “But it was him, it had to be…he talked to me and…”

  “Ms. Lockwood, could it be that you’re wanting it to be him, because of a bad breakup?”

  Hawkins scowled. “So, there should be a reason to be attacked now is that what you’re saying? The guy is a fucking psycho.”

  Detective Williams spoke up. “We understand. We’re just doing our job. What about any marks? Piercings, tattoos, anything that was visible to your eye?”

  * * *

  “He was wearing a mask. I wasn’t able to get a good look.” I shook my head. “It was Blake, I know it was.” I felt myself tearing up. They weren’t going to believe me.

  “Ms. Lockwood, can you tell me what you had for breakfast, the day of the attack?”

  “What?”

  “What did you have for breakfast? Or how about lunch? Can you tell us what you wore that day?”

  “It’s all a big blur right now…”

  “That’s my point Ms. Lockwood. Everything is a blur, so you can’t be sure who attacked you that night, can you? Would you know of the motive behind the attack?”

  Hawkins, seemingly annoyed stood up. “Can this be done another time? Perhaps when she didn’t just wake up. She needs her rest.”

  They both nodded. “We’ll leave our contact information. If you can think of anything, please let us know.

  * * *

  After they left, Hawkins’s entire demeanor changed. I reached out to him, and he took it immediately, which seemed to relax him temporarily.

  “This is my fault.”

  “No…”

  “The fuck it isn’t! I was supposed to protect you.”

  My eyes widened. “Hawkins, no one could’ve predicted this.”

  He glanced at me, then gently climbed in the bed with me. I started to relax. It felt good having him close. I felt myself drifting off. “You came back for me?”

  He glanced down at me. “I never left you,” he whispered.

  Thirty-Seven

  Hawkins

  Gwen was able to come home two days later. Emmalin offered for her to say with them, but I was adamant she stayed with me. Gwen, didn’t look like she liked that idea. Well tough shit. I was bringing her home. For two weeks, all of my focus was on Gwen. Making sure she ate, stayed hydrated, and took her medication when she showed any kind of pain.

  “How are you feeling?”

  Gwen shifted a bit as she turned the TV off. “I’m okay. You don’t have to keep hovering, Hawkins. I’m fine. In fact, I can probably get out of your hair in a few days. Two, three at the most…”

  “Shut up.”

  She looked up at me shocked. I walked over to her. “Shut up, Gwen. I’m taking care of you, so just shut up. You belong here.” I sat down next to her. “I didn’t like coming home, knowing you weren’t here. I want you to stay.”

  She looked down at her hands, and sighed. After a few minutes, she finally nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Thirty-Eight

  Gwen

  Two weeks later, I felt well enough to go back to work. Hawkins, of course, strongly disagreed, but I was seriously bored, staying at home doing nothing. I’ve watched the entire series of Friends…twice.

  Hawkins, made stipulations, that he was to take me to work and back. He didn’t want me alone at any time since the person that attacked me hasn’t been found.

  We rode the rest of the way in silence.

  We pulled up to Tea Lites. “Thank you for the um…ride.” I turned to grab the handle, and his hand on my arm stopped me. I shut my eyes, because if he asked me to stay in that car and go home with him, there was a good chance that I would do exactly that.

  His hand slid up to the back of my neck, and he turned me so I had to look at him. He pressed his head against mine.

  “I will fix this. I swear to you. Let me fix this, let me fix us.”

  I didn’t know what he meant by that. But, I didn’t doubt that he wouldn’t fix it.

  “I have to go,” I whispered. He held on for a minute longer, before releasing me.

  * * *

  “Okay. What the hell, Gwen? This is the third glass you broke today, and it’s not even noon. You feeling okay?”

  Sheerah was leaning against the counter, as I was cleaning up the remnants from the latest shattered teacup. At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if they took money out of my paycheck to pay for them.

  I dumped the glass in the nearest bin. “Yeah, I think I’m just distracted, and still a bit tired.” Okay, maybe Hawkins was right. Returning to work so soon wasn’t a good idea.

  “You can go. We’ll cover you.”

  I glanced around the café. That actually was tempting, but I didn’t want my problems to become the reason, why I couldn’t do my normal job. I did have a headache, and I could use some food. I glanced back at Sheerah. “You know, I think I will go.”

  I hung up my apron, and grabbed my things and headed out. I didn’t get far, before my phone rang. Once again, I answered the damn thing without seeing who it was first.

  “Gwenivere? Do not hang up.”

  I rolled my eyes, and took a deep breath. I didn’t know if I had the strength to deal with her.

  “What do you want?”

  “What do I want?” She cackled. “I want you to stop acting like a spoiled self-rig
hteous bitch, and stop being so damn dramatic, and sensitive.”

  And the award for Best Apology of the Year goes to my mother, ladies and gentlemen!

  “Is that your way of saying sorry? By calling your own daughter a bitch?”

  “Sorry for what? Gwenivere, if this is about that baby shower, you need to move on. They certainly have! You need to let that go.” She paused. “Just like he let you go.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Why did you call me? Other than to prove that you haven’t changed a bit, and you’re willing to do any and everything to hurt me. Your own flesh and blood! What did I ever do to you, where you couldn’t love me, and support me like a mother should.”

  “Because you weren’t mine!” She gasped as it came out of her mouth.

  I felt myself go dizzy with her words, and braced myself against the brick wall.

  “What?”

  She was silent.

  “No! No, don’t go silent on me now, you had plenty to say before.”

  I heard her sigh. “You aren’t mine.”

  Even with all the cars around me, horns blaring, and people talking, I heard what she said very clearly.

  “What are you talking about?” I whispered.

  Then her voice turned cold. “Talk to your father. I’ve had enough of this. I did my part.”

  Before I could say anything more, she hung up.

  It started to rain, but I didn’t care. I didn’t feel it. I just stood there with my phone in my hand, with her words playing over and over in my head.

  Because you weren’t mine.

  Because you weren’t mine.

  Because you weren’t mine.

  You. Aren’t. Mine

  My head was spinning. Everything became a blur. My mind was going a thousand miles per second, and I couldn’t grasp onto anything to save my life.

  “Gwen?”

  I think someone said my name, but I wasn’t sure. The voice was familiar. The rain fell down harder, with a puddle forming around my feet.

  “Gwen! What the hell are you doing, you’ll get sick?”

  I looked up into the concerned eyes of Hawkins. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t do anything. I started to walk mindlessly.

  “Gwen! Gwen, what are you doing?”

  But I kept walking, right to the curb and stepped off. The rain was falling even harder, and everything was a blur. I felt like I was drowning.

  Suddenly a car horn blared. It didn’t even startle me. I just stood there. I stood as if I was waiting for that car my entire life, and it was finally time.

  Thirty-Nine

  Hawkins

  I decided to hang out in the little diner across the street from where Gwen worked. I sat where I had a perfect front view into the café that she worked at. I was just finishing up my coffee, when I saw Gwen emerge from her job. She looked troubled, as she answered a call.

  I grabbed my jacket, preparing to head over to her. I slowed down my gait, and noticed she looked deeply disturbed, then all of a sudden, she turned pale. She started walking toward the street. The fuck! I yelled out to her, but she didn’t hear me. I saw the oncoming car before Gwen did. She stepped right off the curb, and didn’t move as the car horn blared out. The roads were slippery from the rain, and the car wasn’t going to stop in time. All I saw was Gwen standing there. A shell of herself. She had completely disconnected herself.

  I ran out, pushing her out the way, and I narrowly avoided being hit. I didn’t care about me. I cared about her. We hit the ground hard, but she didn’t make a sound. It’s like she wasn’t there.

  The car that was heading toward us stopped, and the person got out the car and ran to us.

  “I didn’t see her! She just came out of nowhere.”

  I hauled Gwen to my chest. She started to cry, and I picked her up.

  “Do you need the ambulance?”

  I looked over Gwen, to see if she had any injuries. She had a few scratches, but other than that she looked numb.

  “No, I’ll take her from here.”

  I guided her to my car, and sat her in the seat. She was still quiet when I got in on the other side.

  “Gwen?”

  She was absolutely soaked, and I turned on the heater. I reached in the backseat, and grabbed a sweatshirt I had back there. Yeah, it was from the gym, but it was dry.

  I started to lift her shirt up, and her eyes finally flashed to mine in a panic as she wrapped her arms around herself.

  “I’m just trying to get you into something dry until we get home. Okay?”

  Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes watered. She slowly nodded as I pulled her shirt over her head. Thank God, I had tinted windows. I put the sweatshirt on her. I would have to worry about her jeans later, as I put the car in drive, and worked on getting us to my place as quickly as possible.

  * * *

  As soon as we got to my place, I made quick work of getting her out of her pants. She was reluctant at first, until I assured her it was for her own good. I tossed her clothes to the side, then picked her up, heading to the bedroom. While I had her sit, I got a towel and dried the rest of her hair. All the while she kept silent as I worked. While she was still sitting on the edge of the bed, I got undressed and laid her down with me, holding her tightly.

  “Body heat.”

  She tensed at first, but after a few minutes, I could feel her relaxing, and the soft cries came next.

  * * *

  I was making a late lunch when Gwen came into the kitchen. I had put her in a fresh shirt, and it stopped mid-thigh on her. The fact that I also knew she wasn’t wearing any panties underneath had my dick stirring.

  She cleared her throat, and looked like she was trying to think of something to say. I decided to save her the trouble.

  “Are you hungry? I’m making chicken stir fry. It just got done.”

  She stood there, not saying anything.

  She looked around her, as if she was seeing this apartment for the first time. “My clothes?”

  Of course, she wanted a chance to escape.

  “They were soaked from the rain. I’m letting them dry.” That was a lie. My idea of letting them dry was putting them in a bucket of water, along with her shoes, so it wouldn’t give her a chance to leave. I dished up our food, and placed it on the island.

  I looked at her, waiting for her to walk over. After a few seconds of her debating with herself, she finally took a seat. I sat next to her, as close as possible, without actually having her in my lap. She had a few bites, but mostly moved the food around on her plate.

  She finally pushed the plate away, and stood up. I watched, as she placed the plate in the sink. “Do you think they’re dry now?”

  I drained the rest of my water. “Probably not.”

  She tried pulling the shirt down lower. “Am I really that bad to be around, Gwen? It wasn’t that long ago, where we couldn’t get enough of each other.”

  “Things were different then. Things are different now…so many things are different now.”

  I stepped closer. “What does that mean? What happened today, Gwen? You walked right out into traffic, and it was like you didn’t even care. It was like you dared the car to hit you. And fuck Gwen if I hadn’t been there.” I took a moment to take a deep breath, not even wanting to think what could’ve happened. I reached up, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

  She stared at the floor. “I just have a lot of things to think about.”

  “Are we one of those things?”

  She, started to turn her head, but I grabbed her, so she had to look at me. Suddenly her eyes went from soft to hard in an instant, and she pushed me back. “Don’t do that. Don’t you dare do that.”

  “I hurt you, Gwen! I fucking know that. You don’t think it eats at me, every fucking day that I was gone! You were all I could think about. You are so far in my head, I couldn’t see anything else.”

  I backed her into the wall.

  My hand gripped the hem of her shirt, a
nd she shivered as I lightly teased her shirt up. “I need you, Gwen.”

  Her expression went cold. “No, you don’t. No one needs me, Hawkins. No one needs me the way they should. Not you, not my family. The family I thought I had.” Her voice cracked.

  “That’s not true,” I whispered against her.

  “Don’t!”

  I took a half step back. She was broken. “Gwen…”

  “What! What do you want?”

  I stepped back into her space, my hands balled tightly into fists.

  “You. I want you.”

  She smirked as a single tear rolled down her beautiful face. And oh, how I wanted to lick that tear.

  “You don’t get me. You lost that privilege.”

  Looks like my little Dove grew steel in her blood.

  “The fuck I did,” I growled out.

  “You want me? You want to fuck me? Then fuck me like you want me. Fuck me like you’ve earned me. Need me, Hawkins!”

  Her eyes steeled into mine. Threatening me. Daring me. She wasn’t giving me a string to hang onto. But, I didn’t need that string. I’ve already climbed my way back. I shoved her against the wall, and caged her in.

  “You. Are. Mine!” I said through gritted teeth.

  She started to turn her head, and I grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me.

  “These succulent lips.” My hands slowly trailed down her body. “These gorgeous tits.” I rubbed my thumbs over her nipples and they instantly hardened. She may be pissed at me, but her body wasn’t. Her body knew who it belonged to.

  I slowly raised the sweatshirt. “This waist. These thighs.” I trailed down her body, placing a kiss on each one, and got close to her mound. I cupped her pussy.

  “This pussy. Is mine.”

  I buried my head between her thighs and inhaled deeply. Fuck, I missed that scent.