Suddenly Us
Page 20
He lazily smiled at me. "Of course, anything."
I took a deep breath. "I know you were married before, and that didn't end well." I could see Hawkins’s eyes darken, and he tensed up. "Were you two um.... together for a while? You know…after the divorce?"
He exhaled sharply, as he looked down. "Is this something you thought of on your own, or were you enticed?" I looked away from him, almost in shame. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms. "Yes, she and I were still having sex, up until a little while ago."
"What's a little while ago?"
His gaze pierced mine intensely. That was Hawkins. Always intense. Always in control. "Up until the time I met you."
"Do you still love her?"
"Fuck no! I don't love Rebecca at all."
I turned to face him. "But you must feel something for her, right? Otherwise, why would you two still be fucking!" My words came out sharper than I intended. I moved around him, exiting the bathroom, and he was hot on my heels.
He grabbed my arm, turning me to face him. "She and I fucked. But that's all it was. Just fucking. You might even say I was fucking her out of my system, but each time I did fuck her, the more disgusted I was with her."
"You and I fuck." I threw back at him.
He stepped closer. "But, I love you. Not her. You, Gwen, just you."
His head rested against mine. "Don't ever question how I feel about you, Gwen. Understand?"
I slowly nodded.
Forty-Seven
Hawkins
The rest of the weekend went smoothly. I also later had a talk with both of my nosy as hell sisters about keeping their mouths shut. We were leaving in the morning, and while Gwen slept, I went out to the back porch for some fresh air.
My mother was out, drinking her nightly tea. She held up a cup, asking me if I wanted some, and I shook my head, and sat down next to her.
"It's really good seeing you, you know? I missed you. We all missed you." She was quiet for a moment, as we stared out into the darkness. "Your father would've loved Gwen. I almost feel like he gave you his approval."
I smiled. "Yeah, I hope so."
"You love her?"
I turned toward my mom. "Yes, I do."
"She's exactly what you wanted."
I shook my head. "No, she's exactly what I needed."
* * *
Returning back to Chicago made me more eager to make Gwen’s living situation permanent. She belonged here, with me. It just feels right. She got along great with my family, and they loved her, just like I knew they would.
I was lacing up my shoes when Gwen came in. “I still can’t believe we found out about Emmalin and Grayson being pregnant through Twitter. Did you know they were trending? They made it to the trending category.” Gwen flopped down on the bed. “I talked to her, she said it being made public was an accident. Some cameraman jumped out in front of them.”
“Yeah, Grayson was not happy about that. If anything, he’ll be increasing security more.” I finished lacing up my shoes. “I’m going to go for a run. You need anything while I’m out?”
Gwen glanced round the room. “I think I should finally finish unpacking. There’s still a few boxes left.”
“Alright, I won’t be too long. I’ll come back early to help.” I gave her a chaste kiss, and was out the door. There’s something about the sound of your shoes, hitting the pavement. It was rare I had music with me. I always wanted to stay attuned to everything around me.
I passed the three-mile marker, and started to slow down, to catch my breath. I pulled out my phone to see if I had any messages. I strolled through my emails, nothing that was important. I was just about to cross the street when I froze.
A woman was staring at me. I didn’t move, I just stopped and stared. I felt everything coming back to me. The beautiful little girl with the dark skin and green eyes. I never forgot her face. It was imbedded in my head. But this girl, this girl was the spitting image of the little girl, only grown up.
I started to cross the street to her, and was cut off by a car crossing my way. I jumped back and out of the way. When I looked back across the street, I saw a glimpse of her, right when she went below ground to the subway. I ran after her. She got in a train, and turned to face me. I reached the doors right when they closed. We just stood there looking at each other, then I watched the train leave.
* * *
I’m losing it. That has to be the only explanation. I’m fucking losing it. I sat with my head in my hands, trying to think this shit through. I finally got up, and headed to Garrison’s. I needed to find some answers.
* * *
Garrison sat and listened to what I had to say. I must’ve said “I’m not crazy” at least twenty times, in a span of five minutes.
“I’m not doubting you, but if it was her, what would she be doing here?”
I sharply exhaled. “I don’t know, but she knew exactly where I was.”
“Well, if she is working with someone, it sure as fuck isn’t Drago Fado. They practically skinned him alive when they found him. Literally.”
I sunk back into my seat. This didn’t make sense. None of this made sense. I know I didn’t imagine her. She looked right at me. Shit, I needed to get it together.
I finally got home, and seeing Gwen calmed me. “You seem tense. Why are you so tense? Did you have a bad run?”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “No, the run was fine. I just…. thought I saw someone I knew, but they left before I got to them.”
Gwen studied me a moment. “Maybe you can find them on Facebook.”
That wouldn’t have been so bad, if I knew her fucking name. I nodded at Gwen. “Yeah, maybe.”
* * *
While Gwen slept, I pulled up the security feed that Garrison sent over from the subway. I kept rewinding it to the part where she ran inside the train. It was her. I know it was her. I watched each video of where that train went, until she exited the train. When she finally stepped off, she looked around her, as if she was looking for someone, before disappearing into the small crowd. 87th street. That’s where she got off. It wasn’t the best of areas here, but I sure as hell was going to try to find her.
A week later and I came up with nothing. I went to that area once a day, just looking. I was studying the feed again when Gwen walked in. Her face was ashen, and she looked shaken up.
I went over to her. “Hey. What is it, what’s wrong?”
She seemed to have a hard time speaking, and I led her over to a chair. “Gwen, you’re scaring me.”
She finally looked up at me slowly. “I…I guess Blake went missing.” She slowly swallowed. “They found his burned body floating in the river.”
I had to remind myself to act caring. “Wow. It was well deserved.”
Gwen’s head snapped up at me, and I stood up, arms crossed. “He abused you, for years, and then tried to kill you. You can’t expect me to show some sort of remorse for him, do you? And you shouldn’t either.”
She looked like she was going to cry. I swear, if she shed one tear over that fucker, I was going to lose my shit. “Yeah, he was horrible, and rotten, and a fucking asshole…” She abruptly stopped, and stood up. “Is it weird, I don’t feel bad? I mean I should, right? Feel bad, but…I don’t.”
I pulled her to me. “It’s not weird, and it’s fine that you feel that way. He wasn’t a good man, Gwen. Bad things should happen to bad people.” I watched as she seemingly agreed before giving me a smile. The best thing about that smile. It was real.
Forty-Eight
Hawkins
A month went by, and nothing. Not a single visual of the girl. Gwen and I were getting ready for a moonlight picnic. Actually, she didn’t know where we were going, but I sure as hell knew what I was going to say when we got there.
* * *
“This is beautiful, Hawkins, thank you for bringing me.” She stood on the tip of her toes, giving me a kiss, and wrapping her arms around me.
I groaned, as I i
nstantly got hard, and took her back a step. “We need to get through dinner first.”
She reached down and cupped me, and I hissed. “Are you sure? We can always skip dinner.” She batted her eyes.
I gave her ass a slap and she yelped. “You know I never hesitate having your pussy for dinner.” Her eyes gleaned. “But,” I took her hand from my hard as fuck cock. “Dinner first. We’re on a date.”
She fake pouted, as she gave me a quick kiss, and I led her to our area. She gasped when she saw the layout. Candles were circled around our blanket, and Chinese lanterns were strung up, along with white and purple dahlias. “This is beautiful.”
“I hoped you would like it.”
She turned to me. “Are you kidding? This is absolutely breathtaking. I didn’t even know you knew my favorite flower.”
I shrugged. “I had a little help with that.” I sat us on the blanket, and took our food out of the overly huge picnic basket, and a bottle of wine.
“Wow, a girl could get used to this. Special occasion?”
I hoped she would get used to this. She fed me a piece of grape. “You might say that.” We continued our playful bantering, as we ate.
Everything was going well, until I heard someone walking toward us. Gwen looked behind her. “Is someone else joining us?”
“It’s probably a squirrel or something.” I looked over her head, and my eyes widened. It was the girl, that I’ve been trying to track all week. Looks like she tracked me instead. She walked toward us, with a gun pointed right at me.
I slowly stood up. “Gwen, stay faced forward.”
Gwen turned around, and she gasped, as the girl approached us ‘till she was standing right in front of us. I slowly swallowed. “Hello.”
She didn’t say anything, as she just stood there. “You came a long way…. what’s your name?”
She didn’t speak, but she cocked the gun, which spoke volumes.
“Hawkins?”
I kept my eyes on the girl, as I spoke to Gwen. “Gwen, stay down. No matter what, remember I love you okay?” Then to the girl. “You can hurt me, but not her.”
She finally spoke. “I don’t want her, I want you.” She spoke with a slight accent, which had me thinking she’d been in America a lot longer than I thought. I noticed her arm starting to shake, and her eyes filled with tears.
“Tell me your name.” She looked a bit taken aback by my comment. “Tell me your name. I deserve to know the name of the person that’s going to kill me. You at least owe me that.”
“Hadiya.”
“Hadiya,” I parroted back. “That’s a very beautiful name.”
She looked down at Gwen briefly before turning back to me. “I found out it means Gift in your language.”
“You are a gift, Hadiya.” She tilted her head, but kept the gun on me.
The tears she’d been holding back, finally started to fall. “They said if I kill you, then I can go home. Back to my family.”
I cautiously took a step toward her, and she took one back. “You’ve witnessed a lot, haven’t you? I know you miss them Hadiya. But you don’t have to do this. I can help you find them.”
“No! No, that’s not what they said. They said I could go home, if I killed you.”
Her hand tightened around the gun. “Hadiya, do you remember me? You were young, so young. I tried to rescue you, and take you back to your family then. But Drago kept me from you. He kept me from all of you.” Her eyes perked up at the mention of Drago’s name, and I could see the fear in her eyes. “You were the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. And I wanted nothing more than to take you from that bad, evil place, and give you back to your family.”
She sniffed. “You were hurt,” she spoke almost in a whisper.
I nodded. “I was. But I tried, Hadiya, I tried so hard. I never forgot your face, and each night, I prayed you were still alive. But, I also prayed that you were dead, because I couldn’t handle anyone hurting you anymore.” Her gun lowered a bit. “I would give anything to go back to that day, and take you out of there. I swear to you I would.”
Her tears flowed faster. “I want to go home,” she cried out. I took another step toward her. She didn’t backup, so I took that as a sign, as I took another, and then another. I was standing to where the tip of the gun, was pointed on my chest.
“I know you want to go home, Hadiya. I know you do. But, I swear to you, I will do everything I can, to make sure you do. I will help you.” The gun shook against my chest. “I give you my word, Hadiya. If you don’t believe me, then pull the trigger.”
“Hawkins!” Gwen shouted in the background.
“Pull the trigger, Hadiya. You can kill me, and go back there to their empty promises. Or you can believe me, and go back there free.”
Her chin quivered, and her gaze met mine. “You promise?” she whispered.
“I swear to you.”
She looked at the gun, and slowly lowered it. Her head dropped as she cried harder, then I did something I didn’t think I would do. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly. She tensed at first, before finally relaxing. I held her as she cried. She probably hadn’t had a hug, or any kind of closeness for the most part of her life. I took the gun out of her hand, and put the safety on.
She peered up at me, with her green eyes. “Let’s get you home, Hadiya.”
Gwen was standing there beside herself, and finally launched herself at me. Her tears were flowing, as she started to kiss me all over. “God, Hawkins, don’t ever do that!”
I held onto her, then turned to Hadiya. “Hadiya, this is Gwen.” Gwen looked at her uncertainly, before finally extending her hand. “Gwen, this is Hadiya. I went to save her many years ago, and didn’t. So now, I’m going to finish that mission and take her home to her family.”
Hadiya’s eyes lit up at the mention of her family. At least the remaining family.
Forty-Nine
Hawkins
True to my word, I immediately started trying to locate her family. I used any and every available resource I had. Hadiya would watch me anxiously from a chair, just waiting for me to finally say “we found them.”
Months went by, and nothing. The good news was, her and Gwen were becoming buddies. She would emulate everything Gwen did. She said it was like having a little sister. Hadiya slowly gained weight. She was skin and bones before, but now, she was starting to enjoy American food.
One Saturday morning, I was checking my email. Hadiya was asleep in the chair across from me. The message that I’d been waiting on, was staring at me. After reading over it, I smiled.
“Hadiya.”
She woke up, still half asleep.
“Hmm?”
I studied her for a bit. “We found them.”
Her expression was uncertain at first, then all at once, it started registering in her head, and her eyes immediately filled with tears. “You found them? You found my family?”
I motioned for her to come over. Not only was the message telling us, they’ve been found, but a picture was included. She lightly touched the screen. “That’s my family.” She turned to me. “That’s my family.”
I sighed. “Let’s get you home.”
xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
Fifty
Hawkins
I returned back to the States four days later. Hadiya introduced me to her family as “The Promise Man.”
I tiredly went into the apartment. It was late, and I hadn’t told Gwen I would be home tonight. I told her our plane will be landing the next day, but I wanted to surprise her. I entered the bedroom, and Gwen was asleep, her arms wrapped around my pillow.
I gently stroked her hair, and she moaned. Finally, her eyes fluttered open, and she looked at me in shock, before wrapping her arms around me.
“You’re back! How was it? Is Hadiya okay? You said you were coming back tomorrow, why didn’t you tell me…”
I silenced her by kissing her hard and deep. My cock was already
springing to life.
“I missed you. I was scared.”
“I know, Dove, I know. It’s all over now.”
She relaxed into me, and I held her tight. After a few moments, I spoke.
“I need you to say yes to what I’m about to ask you.”
She gave me that weary look again, then smiled. “Anything for you.”
I kissed her passionately. I kissed her with my soul, and my life. I peered down at her.
“Marry me.”
“Yes…wait, what!?” She stared at me in alarm, her mouth hanging wide open. I reached into my pocket, and pulled out the very ring my grandfather, gave my grandmother. I kneeled down on the floor with one knee.
“Marry me.”
Her eyes flashed from me to the ring. “Are you serious?” She paused. “Are you sure?”
“What’s going through your mind, Dove?”
She took a moment. “I’m looking at the man in front of me, that just asked me to marry him. It’s surreal.”
I started to open my mouth to say the speech, I had practiced a million times, but I didn’t get the chance. She quickly fell into me, knocking us both back.
“Yes, yes.”
I laughed. “You didn’t even let me do my epic speech!”
She deftly undid the buttons on my pants, and I lifted my hips, so that my cock was freed, and I, being just as eager, quickly tore her panties off. “You have the rest of our lives to do that speech.”
I cupped her face, stilling us both, and I looked deeply into her eyes. “Yeah?”
She gave me the gentlest kiss. “Yeah.”
Epilogue