The Voice

by Brian McDonough

ne evening, God looked down on one of his many fine creations, the planet earth, and He felt good about how much perfection and balance there was in the world.

  He had one of those few quiet moments where everyone in the world seemed to be sleeping and enjoyed a rare moment of peace.

  God took a deep breath and when He let it go, the winds of the world shifted, something which did not go unnoticed by a boy named Connor. He felt the wind blow in through his bedroom window as he was trying to sleep.

  Recent events had made Connor feel uncomfortable and he was having trouble sleeping.

  Being a bright boy, it did not escape Connor that the wind represented God, at least that’s what an adult had told him.

  He knew how to take advantage of an opportunity when it was offered, so he got out of bed, he got down on his knees and he prayed.

  As God sat back and looked down on the world from the heavens, He heard a voice.

  It sounded pained and, if He was being honest, a little demanding. It was coming from the bedroom window of a small house in a place called Royal Oak, Michigan.

  Connor knew how to pray. He had been praying for a long time with his mom and dad, but his dad was gone now and he was more than a little upset about that.

  He had asked all the questions that went with his dad’s passing, including: “Where did he go?” “Why did he have to go?” and “What happens when you die?”

  His mom and others had explained as best they could, but questions remained. No one seemed to have answers that could satisfy his curiosity.

  Being the direct sort, he decided to pray directly to God.

  And since he had felt the wind, he knew God was present.

  What he also knew was that God hadn’t answered his prayers in the past. At least he hadn’t responded in the way that Connor was used to. So he wasn’t sure how this whole praying thing worked.

  When he was more demanding in regular life, Connor usually got what he wanted, so he decided to try that out. He took a commanding tone in his prayer.

  “Dear God, I’m really getting sick and tired of having to ask you so many times. I‘ve asked everyone and they don’t seem to know very much about this whole dying thing. So, I want some answers, now!”

  God listened to this demanding voice and He looked over to one of the most recent additions to his staff of angels, a man named Tim.

  In his former life, Tim was diagnosed with cancer. He struggled for many, many months.

  He fought long and hard because he wanted to be there for his children, Connor and Caitlin, and his wife, Sandy. But the cancer and the treatments were too much. He would have gone on if he could, but his body gave in.

  Having passed to the afterlife, Tim was trained as an angel and had recently joined God’s staff.

  He was a little nervous and wanted to do a good job, so he looked around at the angels who surrounded him, then back at God for guidance.

  The other angels patted Tim on the back as a sign of support because they too had gone through the same process when they had left the world for the afterlife.

  It wasn’t easy for those they had left behind.

  God also knew this, but He had a pretty strict policy of not answering prayers directly. He almost always operated indirectly, but He also wanted Connor to know what the policy was, so He spoke.

  When God spoke, it was different than when people spoke.

  God’s voice filled Connor’s small body like the cars he sometimes heard that were “pumping the bass.” God’s voice vibrated through his very being and touched his soul.

  Connor sat up perfectly straight, like a bolt of lightning when through him.

  “Connor,” God said. “Can you hear me?”

  After God said this, the angels started to laugh, because nobody who’s ever heard God’s voice could ever claim to not hear it.

  Tim gave a smile and started to relax, knowing that his son was in God’s hands.

  Connor, on the other hand, was in a state of shock.

  His teeth were locked and his spine stretched as far as it could go.

  “Connor, it’s okay. I don’t often choose to respond to prayers directly like this, but it’s important you know why I need your dad.”

  Connor kind of wished he hadn’t been so demanding now because here was God, speaking to him. It was something like a miracle.

  “It’s not a miracle. It’s just rare. Let me tell you why,” God responded.

  Connor forgot that God could read his thoughts, which was kind of like Santa Claus, but he was starting to get used to the booming bass sound that was coming from inside him.

  He looked over at his sister, Caitlin, who slept in the same room as him and was happy to see that she was still sound asleep.

  “Okay, God. I’m sorry for being so demanding. I didn’t know how to get your attention.”

  “It’s okay. People pray in a lot of different ways and I want you to know how prayers work. But before I get into that, I want you to know that your dad is here with me now. I can’t put him on the line because this is not a phone, it’s my voice, but he wants me to tell you that he loves you and that he knows how much you miss him.”

  “He knows this because he’s here watching over you all the time. He’s with you Connor. He’s not allowed to answer you directly like I am, but he will answer you. You can count on that and I’ll explain how that works to you in a little bit.”

  God was looking at Tim now and Tim was smiling, but as he smiled a tear drop came from his eye. It wasn’t a normal teardrop, though. It was like a spark of light coming from the corner of his eye.

  He was so proud of his son for being so strong through his passing. He knew God was right. He was there and he always would be there until his son, given all went well in Connor’s life, eventually joined him in heaven.

  Connor couldn’t take any more suspense.

  “God, can you please tell me why you took my dad?”

  God looked back down into the world at Connor’s house, in through the bedroom window and his voice boomed:

  “I didn’t just take your dad. I put your dad to the test, a test your dad passed with flying colors. You see, Connor, pain and suffering is a part of the human experience and there are very few who can overcome pain and suffering of the magnitude to which your dad was subjected and come out the other side, not just to enter heaven, but to become an angel.”

  Seeing that He had Connor’s attention, He continued:

  “Pain and suffering is a test of the strength of the person within. The person’s soul. And while your dad was subjected to many long days, weeks, months and years of it, he did not complain about it. He continued to show up at your soccer games and your baseball games. Even at the height of his suffering, he even made it to Jackson to see his parents and brothers, but you know all this. You were there.”

  “Yes. I remember all of that,” Connor said.

  “Well the reason your dad is up here with me is because he passed these painful tests. He’s one of the best souls I could ask for in the work we do up here, which is to help others reach heaven.”

  Connor was trying to be nice, but he was also still suffering himself.

  “But why did you have to take him from me when I still need him?”

  Connor started to cry a little at that because even though he knew it was a complaint, he also knew that he was just a boy and that it was unfair for his dad to be taken away when all the other children he knew still have theirs.

  “Well, that’s a good question, Connor, and I want to tell you something about the way I work. First of all, your dad is a unique character and you and he had a unique relationship. It was a powerful relationship and one of the most important you will ever have in your entire life.”

  “I
miss him so much!” Connor cried.

  “I know you miss him, Connor. He also misses you. The reason I picked your dad amongst all the other dads to help me is because he is so unique.”

  “That’s also why it hurts so much,” God continued. “Because he was and continues to be special. Not everyone gets to be an angel, but in being an angel, your dad also has special powers, powers that allow him to watch over you and others throughout their lives.”

  Connor was wiping the tears from his eyes. He wanted to remember everything God and afraid everything would be forgotten. It was important to understand what God was saying and he especially didn’t want to be angry at God.

  The same reason he missed his dad so much was exactly the reason why God did what He did. Because some people are special.

  “This is complex,” Connor thought.

  “Over time you will also come to understand, not just about your dad, but about yourself.”

  Connor looked out the bedroom window and up into the sky.

  One star was glowing more brightly than the others. He just knew that that star was his dad, looking down, watching out.

  All the stars were twinkling in that wide open night sky. Connor wondered what God meant when He