Ignite: (#11 The Beat and The Pulse)

by Amity Cross

  I hissed, resisting the urge to slap him right in the face. “For the record, Liam…right now? This is you leaving. Not the other way around.”

  His shoulders tensed.

  “Liam,” I said firmly, hoping and pleading he would turn around.

  The only person who was in the way of him getting everything he ever wanted was himself. He was so focused on getting by and collecting points for the Championship he didn’t see what was right under his nose. We were two different people, but our reactions were the same. I realized what I had been doing, why I’d sunk so low, and now I could try to find a way to overcome it. Liam didn’t see it yet.

  All this was about taking a risk. It would either pay off or it wouldn’t.

  “Liam,” I said again. “We’re both at the bottom. We can help each other… Please.”

  Turn around…

  Nothing happened for a long time. He was frozen, his hand curled around the door handle as he struggled with whatever battle he was fighting in his mind.

  Then just as I was losing hope, he turned, his eyes blazing, and he pushed me back against the wall. My core flared as his body collided with mine, and I gasped as his lips claimed his desire. At that moment, he stole my breath and the last piece of my heart. I melted, my anger, resolve, and coherency all shot to hell.

  His mouth was hard against mine as his hands pulled desperately at my clothes, stripping me of every scrap of fabric that kept him from what he wanted. Spearing my fingers through his hair, I held him to me, my tongue twining with his as his palms found my naked breasts and rubbed.

  An unbelievable wave of passion flooded through my body at his harsh touch, and I couldn’t get close enough to sate it. There was only one thing on my mind as we clutched one another…him in me.

  My hands fell from his face and pushed between us, going for his fly. Forcing my hand into his boxers, I felt his erection and mewled, stroking him up and down, relishing the moment when he moaned loudly, his breath hot against my lips. He pulled his T-shirt off, then pushed down his jeans and boxers, and then resumed his exploration of my nakedness.

  Fingers found my clit and rubbed before delving deeper. Widening my stance, he pushed a finger into me as his other hand fisted in my hair, forcing my head back.

  Liam kissed my throat roughly as he plunged a second finger into me. He stroked deep before pulling out, his palm circling my clit with expert precision. Pleasure seared through my body, my breasts aching as they brushed against his hard chest. I was completely at his mercy, pinned and impaled, but I didn’t want to be anywhere else. I was tired of trying to please myself and was more than happy to let him have his way with me. It was my fantasy coming to life, after all.

  He needed this, that much was clear, but so did I.

  His fingers left me abruptly, and I arched my back, moaning in protest, but I didn’t have to wait long to be satisfied. His big hands slipped over my waist and clamped down on my ass, and I was in his arms, my legs wrapped around him. I was completely open as his mouth found my neck.

  I shivered violently as his teeth dug into my skin, and his tongue laved the hurt, relishing the strength with which he held me in place. It was a desire I’d long held, along with all the others—being taken from behind, fucked hard, fingered in the shower, licked all over—and I was lost to it just as much as he was.

  Anchoring me against the wall, he guided his cock until I felt the pressure of his crown against my opening. Closing my eyes, I moaned softly as he entered me, his heat soothing the unbearable ache his touch had coaxed alive.

  He had me against the wall, his body sliding into mine again and again. I was lost to the sensation, held at his mercy.

  Unable to hold on, I came suddenly, quivering around his cock as he thrust, my cries piercing the silence of my tiny apartment.

  Liam grunted, holding still as my shuddering calmed, then wrapped his arms around me. Carrying me into the bedroom, his cock still deep inside me, he lowered us onto the mattress. His mouth worshiped my breasts as he resumed his rhythm, his pounding against my clit overloading the sensitive little ball of nerves.

  Twice in one night? I wasn’t sure if I was capable, but Liam was the only man who’d been able to make me come, so I had complete faith. If anyone could push me to new heights, it was him.

  Opening my legs wide, he reared above me, driving into my body with powerful thrusts. Our bodies slapped together, the sound like sweet music to my ears. Panting and moaning, I felt another orgasm building fast. Liam must have sensed it because he set a punishing rhythm, the hardest he’d taken me with yet.

  There was no way I was surviving this.

  My orgasm ripped through me, tearing me apart from the inside out. A desperate cry tore from my lips, and I writhed on the bed, my fingers grasping the mess of sheets beneath us.

  My core tightened around Liam’s cock, and he threw his head back as his own release took him. Burying deep one last time, he grunted, pulsing into me. Clamping my hands over my breasts, I watched as his muscles tensed and his expression contorted as he spilled every last drop of his longing. Fuck, it was sexy.

  When he finally collapsed on the bed beside me, he didn’t say a word. His chest heaved, and sweat beaded on his forehead. He was completely spent, and like me, he was thoroughly fucked.

  After a moment, his breathing slowed to match mine, and he made to sit up. Not again… After everything—our argument and subsequent fucking—he couldn’t do this.

  “Stay,” I murmured, wrapping my arm around his waist. “Please…”

  He relaxed back onto the mattress, his arm snaking under my pillow. Holding me close, his chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh, and that was how I fell asleep. In his arms. The place where I’d always wanted to be.

  But when I woke in the morning, he was gone.

  17

  Liam

  I couldn’t stay.

  When the sun rose, I woke, selfishly basking in Ali’s embrace. Her arm was draped over my stomach, her hand resting listlessly against the mattress. Like the asshole I was, I extracted myself gently, trying not to wake her.

  She looked so peaceful, so content…

  But I couldn’t stay knowing that tomorrow night‬, I was going into a fight that might be the end of me. Her hating me for walking out on her again… Well, it was better than her losing me to The Underground. ‬‬‬‬‬

  Leaving Ali’s, I switched off my phone and headed straight to the gym. I had one last day to prepare, to get my focus back on track, but the entire time I lifted my usual set of weights, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

  Last night had been better than the first time we’d fucked. I wasn’t even sure I could call it fucking anymore. It felt like more. The moment she came was better than my release spilling inside her tight little body. After all the one nighters I’d had over the years, one thing had always stood out. I’d wanted to get off, and that was it. Now I gave a shit about pleasing her. Pleasing Ali.

  Did that mean I loved her? If it did, then I had a funny way of showing it.

  That night, I went to The Underground to see Faye.

  She was working the bar as usual but was headed out on her break when I found her. Her blonde hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, her tight T-shirt and short shorts doing nothing to draw my attention. Not anymore.

  “Faye.”

  She glanced up, and when her gaze crossed mine, she glared at me with all the hate I probably deserved. I was more than happy to take the hit. I’d fucked up pretty bad, and even when I knew I was doing the wrong thing, I still went and did it.

  I was a complete idiot.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “For everything. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I can get you started if you like.”

  “Faye.”

  Narrowing her eyes, she leaned back against the bar. “The big, macho, cage fighter is apologizing. Never thought I would see the day when hell actually froze the fuck
over.”

  “I’ve made a mess of everything,” I said, running my hand over my face. “I know I fucked up, and I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, you have, but so did I.”

  I scowled. “You? What did you do?”

  “I kept sleeping with you when I should’ve said no,” she replied. “I knew Ali was trying to hide her feelings, but I didn’t see it. Not right away. Now she’s…” She trailed off, looking like she was about to burst into tears. I’d never seen Faye upset. Ever.

  “Now she’s what?” I prodded.

  “She’s got no one, Liam,” she replied, looking up at me. “No friends, no family, no job. She’s about to lose everything.”

  “No family?” I asked, my heart sinking. Everyone had a mum and dad, right?

  “Her parents died when she was a teenager. A truck driver hit their car head on, and they died on impact. Ali never knew her extended family, and they never sought her out. She’s been alone and hurting a long time. More than half her life.” Faye sighed, her shoulders sinking. “No one cared until us, and we both hurt her. I didn’t mean to, but… I feel so rotten.”

  “That’s why…” My throat tightened. That was why she asked me to stay. She saw more than she let on. There she was offering me everything when she needed it just as bad. How hadn’t I seen it?

  “I don’t know what to do,” Faye said. “I want to help her, but I don’t think she would accept money. Maybe I could ask her to move someplace with me. I’ll cover the bond or something. Get her out of that overpriced apartment.” She sighed. “I would have to get her to forgive me first.”

  Faye was a good person. I’d always known it, even though our relationship had been left of center. She wasn’t like other women, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t worth more than a bit of fun. She had a big heart—that was how I knew I could trust her.

  “Faye, I’m fighting Viper tomorrow night‬,” I announced. ‬‬‬‬‬

  Her head flew up. “What?”

  “He was using Ali to get to me. He saw the way I was acting around her, and he tried to…” I sighed. “It was either fight him in the cage or have him come after me outside The Underground. Either way, he’s going to try to—”

  “Don’t say it,” she exclaimed, turning her face away. She took a few deep breaths, looking thoroughly rattled. She knew what it meant.

  “Ali needs to stay away,” I went on. “I know she’s probably not going to come back anyway, not after I fucked with her again, but I have to be sure. We… We said some heavy shit to one another last night.” I sighed, thinking about the moment I confessed my greatest fear to her. Abandonment. “If something happens to me…”

  “Don’t fight him, Liam,” Faye pleaded. “It’s not worth risking your life.”

  “What else can I do? Run away like a coward?”

  “Yes,” she said, grasping my hands. “Leave and don’t come back. Saving yourself is nothing to be ashamed about.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t.”

  “You can.” Her eyes darted around wildly as she racked her brain for scenarios. “You can apologize to Ali, win her back, and take her away someplace. You’ve got money. Take her overseas.”

  “Ali won’t take me back,” I said grimly. “I went there last night to make sure she would never come looking for me. She can’t come back here. Now or ever. Anyway, I’ve blown it. It’s over. It’s for the best.”

  “You keep telling yourself that,” Faye said. “You’re sacrificing everything. You realize that, don’t you? Did you ever stop to think you’re worth more than that? There are people who would throw down for you too, Liam.”

  “Yeah? Who?” I rolled my eyes.

  “Me, for starters. And Ali.”

  I snorted and shook my head. It was over. Done.

  “You have to realize that you’re not in this alone, Liam,” she went on. “You don’t have to do this. Push everyone away. You don’t have to fight alone.”

  “I have to,” I said with a growl. “I made this mess.”

  Faye shook her head, scowling at me like I was a dumb ass. “She’s fallen for you, you dipshit. As in love. Don’t you—”

  “Promise me something,” I said, cutting her off.

  “Anything.”

  I glanced up at her and didn’t like what I saw. Desperation.

  “Promise me you’ll keep her away from this place. If things go bad… I don’t want her to see it.”

  Faye stared at me for a long time before she nodded. “I really wish you would reconsider. What you’re doing is stupid as hell, but it’s coming from a place of love.” She smiled sadly. “You love Ali. You’ll realize it sooner or later.”

  I grunted, not wanting to acknowledge any of it. All I could focus on was the fight. Everything hinged on it.

  “Liam…”

  “It’s my mess,” I said, glancing out across the warehouse. “Now I have to clean it up.”

  18

  Alison

  I wasn’t surprised.

  When I realized Liam had left sometime between me falling asleep in his arms and waking, I just sighed. There was nothing I could do if he didn’t want to listen, but it still stung. My heart was broken beyond compare, causing my entire body to numb to the familiar sensation of loneliness.

  I could still feel Liam’s touch—my body ached with it—and his scent clung to my skin, both painful reminders that he was gone. If I turned, I would see the evidence that he had been here. Rumpled sheets and clothing were strewn across my usually spotless floor.

  He’d fucked me hard, just how I liked it, and I knew I would be feeling him for days. It was almost cruel in a way.

  No thoughts, no memories, no hopes, and no dreams could erase the fact I was alone.

  I knew this beast and how to wrangle it. I’d been coping since I was sixteen, after all. Nothing was better than something, so I chose to feel nothing.

  Friday passed in a haze. I didn’t leave my apartment, deciding to stay in and search job websites instead of going outside into the fresh air. This was what my life had amounted to.

  When I looked out my bedroom window on Saturday morning‬, all I could hear was the sounds of the city waking up. Children were laughing and playing in the yard over the fence, a tram rumbled by on the street, and a car horn blasted somewhere in the distance. The city was only half awake, mirroring the muted beating of my repressed heart. ‬‬‬‬‬

  The whole world was out there, waiting to be explored, waiting for me to reach out and grab it—just like Liam had told me to do—but all I saw was pain.

  Turning away from the window, I stared at the contents of my bedroom. An unbearable burst of passion overcame me in the face of everything that was staring me down, and I strode forward. Sliding open the closet door, I began pulling out clothes, shoes, and boxes, tossing everything that was worn or frumpy into a pile. When I came to the clothes Faye had helped me pick, I left them on their hangers, my fingers caressing the material. There was a marked difference in quality, and even though they reminded me of her and Liam, I didn’t have the heart to throw them away with the rest.

  I’d cleaned out my bedroom, lounge, and bathroom and was halfway through the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. Glancing up, I realized the sun had gone down somewhere between the bathroom and the third kitchen cupboard. Getting rid of stuff was a real stress reliever.

  Opening the door, I squashed down the misplaced hope that Liam was on the other side waiting to apologize and make all my dreams come true. When my gaze met Faye’s, I wasn’t sure what to do.

  “Ali…” She peered at me through the security door, looking hopeful…and beautiful while she did it.

  I didn’t say anything because if I opened my mouth, I would burst into tears. The only thing that had stopped me from falling apart was the violent clean-out of all my earthly possessions.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, looking like she was about to cry as well. What a pair we made.

  Did I have a right
to be angry with her? I wasn’t sure I did. Even though her actions had hurt me deeply, I hadn’t been forthcoming with my feelings, either. There was no way she knew I was in love with Liam because I hadn’t told anyone. Until recently, I hadn’t actually admitted to myself that ‘falling for’ actually meant something much deeper was going on. Not until right now.

  The fact Faye was here at all made the numbness around my heart thaw a little, and I reached out and unlocked the security door.

  Her eyes sparkled as she opened it, letting herself in.

  “I’m really sorry, Ali,” she said again. “You’ve been a real friend these past few months, and I would hate to stuff that up over a guy. True friends are hard to come by…”

  I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “They are.”

  “Can we still be friends?” she asked. “I want to make things right…”

  I let out a shaky breath and smiled. “I’d like that. A lot.”

  Faye grinned, wiping a tear from her cheek. “Thank fuck! I felt terrible about it all…”

  “I need to learn how to talk to people,” I said absently. “I’ve been alone for so long I think I’ve forgotten how.”

  “I’ll help, you know. I’ll bug you every day.” She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. “I’m so happy!”

  Wriggling out of her grasp, I led her through to the lounge where I’d been piling up the casualties of my spring-cleaning.

  “What’s with all the garbage bags?” she asked, stepping over them.

  “I’m cleaning,” I replied, shoving more clothes into an already bursting bag.

  “You’re throwing away all your stuff…”

  “What I’m doing is preparing to live in my car,” I said dryly. “There’s only so much shit I can fit in the back.”

  “No, Ali,” Faye exclaimed. “It won’t come to that. You need to get rid of this overpriced apartment, and then you can stay with me.”