Captain Fracasse

by Théophile Gautier

  CHAPTER XII. THE CROWNED RADISH

  Jacquemin Lampourde, after parting company with Merindol, seemed ingreat uncertainty as to which way he should go, and had not yet decidedwhen he reached the end of the Pont-Neuf. He was like the donkey betweentwo bundles of hay; or, if that comparison be not pleasing, like apiece of iron between two magnets of equal power. On the one side waslansquenet, with the fascinating excitement of rapidly winning andlosing the broad gold pieces that he loved; and on the other the tavern,with its tempting array of bottles; for he was a drunkard as well as agambler, this same notorious Jacquemin Lampourde. He stood stock stillfor a while, debating this knotty point with himself, quite unable tocome to a decision, and growing very much vexed at his own hesitation,when suddenly a brilliant idea occurred to him, and, plunging his handinto his well-filled pocket, he drew forth a gold piece, which he tossedinto the air, crying, "Head for the tavern, tail for lansquenet." Thecoin rang upon the pavement as it fell, and he kneeled down to seewhat fate had decided for him; head was up. "Very well," said he,philosophically, as he picked up the piece of money, carefully wiped offthe mud, and put it back in his pocket, "I'll go and get drunk." Then,with long strides, he made off to his favourite tavern, which had theadvantage of being in the immediate vicinity of his own lodgings, sothat with a few zigzags he was at home, after he had filled himself withwine from the soles of his boots to the apple in his throat. It was notan inviting-looking place, this same tavern, with the odd device of anenormous radish, bearing a golden crown--now rather tarnished--whichhad served as its sign for many generations of wine-drinkers. The heavywooden shutters were all closed when Lampourde reached it; but by thebright light streaming through their crevices, and the sounds of songand revelry that reached his ear, he knew that there must be a numerouscompany within. Knocking on the door in a peculiar way with the handleof his sword, he made himself known as an habitue of the house, and waspromptly admitted--the door being carefully made fast again the momenthe had entered. The large, low room into which he made his way wasfilled with the smoke from many pipes, and redolent with the fumes ofwine. A cheerful wood fire was blazing on the hearth, lighting up thearray of bottles in the bar, which was placed near it, where the masterof the establishment sat enthroned, keeping a watchful eye on the noisycrowd gathered round the many small tables with which the room abounded,drinking, smoking, playing at various games, and singing ribald songs.Lampourde paid no attention to the uproarious throng, further than tolook about and make sure that none of his own particular friends andassociates were among them. He found an unoccupied table, to which aservant quickly brought a bottle of fine old Canary wine, very choiceand rare, which was reserved for a few privileged and appreciativecustomers, who could afford to indulge in such luxuries. Although he wasquite by himself, two glasses were placed before him, as his dislike ofdrinking alone was well known, and at any moment a comrade might comein and join him. Meantime he slowly filled his glass, raised it to thelevel of his eyes, and looked long and lovingly through the beautiful,clear topaz of the generous wine. Having thus satisfied the senseof sight, he passed to that of smell, and held the glass under hisnostrils, where he could enjoy the delicious aroma arising from it,giving the wine a rotary motion as he did so, in a very artistic manner;then, putting the glass to his lips, he let a few drops trickle slowlydown over his tongue to his palate, lengthening out the enjoyment asmuch as possible, and approving smack of relish as he at last swallowedthe smooth nectar. Thus Maitre Jacquemin Lampourde managed to gratifythree of the five senses man is blessed with by means of a single glassof wine. He pretended that the other two might also have a share of theenjoyment--that of touch by the highly polished surface and swellingcurves of the wine-glass, and that of hearing by the merry ringing whentwo glasses are clinked together, or by the musical sounds to be broughtforth from a glass by drawing the moistened finger round and round theedge of it. But these are fantastic and paradoxical ideas, which onlyserve to show the vicious refinement of this fastidious ruffian. Hehad been but a few minutes alone when an odd-looking, shabbily dressedindividual came in, who rejoiced in a remarkably pale face, which lookedas if it had been chalked, and a nose as red and fiery as a live coal;the idea of how many casks of wine and bottles of brandy must have beenimbibed to bring it to such an intensity of erubescence would be enoughto terrify the ordinary drinker. This singular countenance was likea cheese, with a bright, red cherry stuck in the middle of it; and tofinish the portrait it would only be necessary to add two apple seeds,placed a little obliquely, for the eyes, and a wide gash for a mouth.Such was Malartic--the intimate friend, the Pylades, the Euryalus,the "fidus Achates" of Jacquemin Lampourde; who certainly was nothandsome--but his mental and moral qualities made up for his littlephysical disadvantages. Next to Lampourde--for whom he professed themost exalted admiration and respect--he was accounted the most skillfulswordsman in Paris; he was always lucky at cards, and could drink to anyextent without becoming intoxicated. For the rest, he was a man ofgreat delicacy and honour, in his way--ready to run any risk to help orsupport a friend, and capable of enduring any amount of torture ratherthan betray his comrades--so that he enjoyed the universal and unboundedesteem of his circle.

  Malartic went straight to Lampourde's table, sat down opposite to him,silently seized the glass the other had promptly filled, and drained itat a single draught; evidently his method differed from his friend's,but that it was equally efficacious his nose bore indisputable witness.The two men drank steadily and in silence until they had emptied theirthird bottle, and then called for pipes. When they had puffed away fora while, and enveloped themselves in a dense cloud of smoke, they fellinto conversation, deploring the bad times since the king, his courtand followers, had all gone to Saint Germain, and comparing notes as totheir own individual doings since their last meeting. Thus far they hadpaid no attention whatever to the company round them, but now such aloud discussion arose over the conditions of a bet between two menabout some feat that one of them declared he could perform and the otherpronounced impossible, that they both looked round to see what it wasall about. A man of lithe, vigorous frame, with a complexion dark asa Moor's, jet-black hair and flashing eyes, was drawing out of his redgirdle a large, dangerous looking knife, which, when opened, was nearlyas long as a sword, and called in Valencia, where it was made, a navaja.He carefully examined and tested the edge and point of this formidableweapon, with which he seemed satisfied, said to the man he had beendisputing with, "I am ready!" then turned and called, "Chiquita!Chiquita!"

  At the sound of her name a little girl, who had been sleeping, rolledup in a cloak, on the floor in a dark corner, rose and came towardsAgostino--for it was he of course--and, fixing her large dark eyes uponhis face earnestly, said, "Master, what do you want me to do? I am readyto obey you here as everywhere else, because you are so brave, and haveso many red marks on your navaja."

  Chiquita said this rapidly, in a patois which was as unintelligible tothe Frenchmen around her as German, Hebrew or Chinese. Agostino took herby the hand and placed her with her back against the door, tellingher to keep perfectly still, and the child, accustomed to that sort ofthing, showed neither alarm nor surprise, but stood quietly, lookingstraight before her with perfect serenity, while Agostino, at the otherend of the room, standing with one foot advanced, balanced the dreadnavaja in his hand. Suddenly with a quick jerking movement he sent itflying through the air, and it struck into the wooden door, justover Chiquita's head. As it darted by, like a flash of lightning, thespectators had involuntarily closed their eyes for a second, but thefragile child's long dark eyelashes did not even quiver. The brigand'swonderful skill elicited a loud burst of admiration and applause from anaudience not easily surprised or pleased, in which even the man who hadlost his water joined enthusiastically. Agostino went and drew out theknife, which was still vibrating, and returning to his place thistime sent it in between Chiquita's arm--which was hanging down by herside--and her body; if it had deviated a hair's breadth it must h
avewounded her. At this everybody cried "Enough!" but Agostino insistedupon aiming at the other side as well, so as to prove to them that therewas no chance about it; that it was purely a matter of skill. Again theterrible navaja flew through the air, and went straight to the mark,and Chiquita, very much delighted at the applause that followed, lookedabout her proudly, glorying in Agostino's triumph. She still woreIsabelle's pearl beads round her slender brown neck; in other respectswas much better dressed than when we first saw her, and even had shoeson her tiny feet; they seemed to worry and annoy her very much, itis true, but she found them a necessary nuisance on the cold Parispavements, and so had to submit to wearing them with as good a grace asshe could muster. When Agostino gave her leave to quit her positionshe quietly returned to her corner, rolled herself up anew in the largecloak, and fell sound asleep again, while he, after pocketing the fivepistoles he had won, sat down to finish his measure of cheap wine;which he did very slowly, intending to remain where he was as long aspossible; he had no lodging place yet in Paris, having arrived that veryevening, and this warm room was far more comfortable than a refuge insome convent porch, or under the arch of a bridge perhaps, where he hadfeared that he and Chiquita might have to lie shivering all night long.

  Quiet being restored, comparatively speaking, Lampourde and Malarticresumed their interrupted conversation, and after a few remarks uponthe strange performance they had just witnessed--in which Lampourdeespecially praised Agostino's marvellous skill, and Malartic warmlycommended Chiquita's wonderful courage and sang-froid--the formerconfided to his friend that he had a piece of work in prospect, in whichhe would need some assistance, and desired to have his opinion as towhich of their comrades would be best suited for his purpose. He toldhim that, in the first place, he was commissioned to despatch a certainCaptain Fracasse, an actor, who had dared to interfere with the loveaffair of a very great lord. In this, of course, he would not requireany aid; but he had also to make arrangements for the abduction ofthe lady, a very beautiful young actress, who was beloved by both thenobleman and the comedian, and who would be zealously defended by themembers of the dramatic company to which she belonged; so that he shouldbe obliged to resort to some stratagem, and would probably need the helpof several hands to carry it out--adding that they were sure of beingwell paid, for the young lord was as generous and open handed as he waswealthy and determined. Thereupon they fell to discussing the respectivemerits of their numerous friends and acquaintances--gentlemen of thesame stamp as themselves--and having decided upon four, and determinedto keep an eye upon Agostino, who seemed a clever rascal and might beof use, they called for another bottle of wine. When that was finishedJacquemin Lampourde was indisputably drunk, and having loyally kept hisword, retired, somewhat unsteadily, to his own quarters in a high stateof maudlin satisfaction, accompanied by his friend Malartic, whom he hadinvited to spend the night with him. By this time--it was nearly fouro'clock in the morning--the Crowned Radish was almost deserted, andthe master of the establishment, seeing that there was no prospectof further custom, told his servants to rouse up and turn out all thesleepers--Agostino and Chiquita among the rest--and his orders werepromptly executed.