Of course, there was something about the way he looked on stage.
It was obvious that Owen’s stage presence was choreographed. He would sigh into the microphone at just the right time, tilt his head just enough to look deeply moved by the words he sang. Owen even winked at the girls in the crowd at just right moment. It was all too perfect, and I always got an icky feeling from it.
But not Rainier. Not only did he command the stage, but everything he did felt authentic. The way he took a deep breath before a tricky part to sing, the way he closed his eyes to tune the crowd out. Even the way he bit his bottom lip while he played the guitar had a way of drawing you in.
I hadn’t been able to look away, and judging by the gaggle of girls standing suspiciously close to the stage, I wasn’t the only one.
“Teach me to play,” I blurted, causing Rainier to look up from his work. He’d just finished putting a bunch of cords into his backpack. This time he did stand.
“What?’
“Guitar. I want lessons.”
“You want me to teach you how to play guitar?” he asked slowly putting the backpack over his shoulder and grabbing the guitar case in the opposite hand.
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“I think you’re caught up in the emotion of the night. It takes a lot of practice to learn how to–”
“Which is why you’re the perfect person to teach me. You’ve obviously practiced a lot.”
“Are you teasing me or feeding my ego?”
“Both? Here, just to show you how serious I am, I’ll even help you with your stuff.” I reached over to grab the small box that rested on top of his speaker thing.
“Don’t,” he said, quickly lifting his hand, but it was too late.
“Holy cow, that thing is heavy.” It was so small. There was no reason it should weigh so much.
“I’ll grab my amp,” Rainier said, reaching over to grab the box, quickly brushing his fingers against mine. “You can take my backpack and get the door.”
“Deal.”
The backpack was surprisingly light after I tried to carry the amp. I walked in front of Rainier toward his car but kept looking back to make sure he was behind me. He was, and he carried his case and amp like it was nothing. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe I was still excited by his performance and was impressed by just about anything at this point.
“What?” he finally asked, after I’d looked back the second or third time.
“Nothing.” But it wasn't nothing. I needed to figure out what was going on.
“That’s me over there.” Rainier nodded his head toward the corner of the parking lot as we walked outside.
“You drive a grocery-getter?” For all our shifts together, I’d never seen his vehicle.
“The price was right, and it fits all my gear, so I can’t complain.”
“I guess not.” I reached for the back door. It was unlocked and opened right away. “But how do you expect to get a date when you drive this beast?”
“Well, after tonight’s show, I don’t think it’ll matter.”
That cocky bastard. One night on stage and he was already in love with himself. I swung around to tell him so much, but my words got caught in my throat when I saw his expression. He started laughing.
“Very funny.”
“You should have seen your face.” We stood there smiling at each other for a minute before he spoke again. “Nice name, by the way.”
“I wish I could take credit for it, but my parents gave it to me.”
“The band name. Rainier and the Go-Aways?”
“Why are you thanking me?” I gave him a sly smile.
“Because I think you could have done much worse if you wanted to. It might be a little weird when I go back off to college though. No one will understand it.”
“You’ll just be that legendary musician who outgrew River Valley.”
When Rainier chuckled in response, I barely stopped my feet from moving toward him. I wanted to touch him. Whether it was a playful punch or slap, even a hip bump. It didn't matter. But we weren’t on those terms, and he began loading his equipment into the trunk of the car.
“So, about those lessons,” I said, bringing his attention back to me.
“What about them?”
“When do you want to start?”
“Do you even own a guitar, Michelle?”
“I’ll get one." I stood taller and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Just like that? What if you end up hating it? What if after one lesson, you decide you don’t want to do it? What then?”
“Well, maybe we just use your guitar for the first lesson and go from there.” This time, I didn’t stop as my feet brought me closer. I took one step toward Rainier, then another. Then another, until I was close enough to touch him.
His fingers were tapping against his leg, and he looked at me with a mix of confusion and pain. “Michelle.”
“Just one lesson and we’ll reevaluate,” I begged.
I didn't beg. I wasn’t entirely sure why I was now, but I could practically see when the fight left his body. Rainier’s fingers stilled, his face relaxed.
“One lesson.”
“It won’t be so bad.”
“Only time will tell.” The words were grim, but he wore a slight smile as he said them.
Chapter Sixteen
Rainier
Matt came over the next morning with coffee and breakfast sandwiches from the one fast-food restaurant in town. Not the kind of thing my parents ever bought, even without the bacon. They preferred tea to coffee and made almost everything from scratch. The dough sitting on the counter while my mom waited for the yeast to rise was proof enough of that.
Not that I didn’t like homemade bread or the many dishes my parents made. I did. It was so much better than the food offered on and near campus. Of course, it was great to eat something greasy and unhealthy every once in a while. The paper bag in Matt’s hand was just what I needed after a night like the one before.
There was so much to think about, and I hoped Matt wouldn’t mind bouncing ideas back and forth with me. He was the closest thing I had to a best friend. We grew up next door to each other and had spent countless afternoons playing outside as children.
“I still can’t believe that performance last night,” he said, already stuffing his face with his breakfast. His hair stuck up in several different directions and the clothing he wore was wrinkled. I assumed he'd barely rolled out of bed before grabbing food.
“I know. I’m still trying to process everything.”
“Like what?”
“Like the girls at the show.”
Matt’s face grew serious, and he put his sandwich down. He then placed one of his hands on my knee. “The feelings you have are natural. You may discover other changes as well. It’s all part of becoming a man.”
I pushed his hand off of me. “Shut up. You know what I mean. I didn’t expect so much attention from everyone. Jenny came up in her short dress.”
“She did that after your first performance too,” he reminded me.
“Yeah, but then Michelle came up right after her, and I could have sworn they shared a look.”
“A look?”
“You’re going to think I’m crazy, but I think Michelle might like me. Or at least she thinks she's into me. I’m wondering if it’s the whole lead singer thing because there’s no way someone like her would ever be into me.”
“Dude. You do not want to mess with Michelle Matthews. She’s psychotic.”
“That’s what everyone says.”
“There’s a reason everyone says it.”
“Okay, but let’s say she’s not crazy. Or better yet, let’s take her out of the picture entirely. How do you deal with the attention of everyone? You know better than most how I’m not used to that kind of thing.”
Matt laughed. “I’m still waiting for that attention.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re at the back of th
e stage.”
“Nah,” he said, running his hands through his auburn hair. “It's because I’m a ginger. And because those damn singers keep stealing the show.”
“I’m sor–”
“Dude,” he interrupted. “I’m kidding. You know I don’t have any problem with getting a date if I want one. I just don’t have time for that. Not with the band.”
“Carter has Avery.”
“Yeah, I just need to focus. And speaking of.” Matt set his trash aside and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “You’ve got to consider being our new singer. Have you even looked online today? The naming competition got people to the show last night. Your little stunt made them go crazy. There are pictures, videos–”
“Videos?”
“Oh, yeah. People loved us. And while I wouldn’t say we’ve gone viral or anything, this has been a big boost for the band. I know you’re set on college, but I want you to think about taking a semester off. We could push hard to make it.”
“What about Owen? Cooper?”
“What about them?”
“Oh, I don’t know? The fact that I filled in for them last night. I’m not actually part of this band. Or the fact that if I’m the new singer, that means you’re kicking Owen out. And when Cooper comes back, I won’t even be playing guitar. I’m not okay with that. I’ll do whatever I can to help until everyone comes back.”
“Okay. So, we’ll just play it by ear then.”
“Sure, but I’m only here through August, so make sure you have a plan.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he answered, but was distracted. He was staring off into space, but I knew his mind was working a million miles an hour.
Matt was clever. Not just smart, but the kind of guy who could make almost anything work out in his favor. His parents had hoped he would go to college. He’d been accepted into a bunch of local schools and even an ivy league school on the east coast. They were devastated when he told them he wanted to take a gap year to pursue music. He didn’t want some stuffy office job. He had no desire to go to school and get his doctorate. Matt wanted to play music.
Even now, I knew that genius brain of his was trying to find a way to make it happen. I gave him a few minutes to brainstorm before interrupting his thoughts. “So, what are your plans today?”
“I’m meeting up with a girl later.”
“Really?”
“Don’t act surprised, I told you I could get a date anytime I wanted.”
“You also said you didn’t want to.”
“Yeah, gotta make exceptions to the rule everyone in a while.”
"Anyone I know?"
"Do you know a lot of ladies in River Valley?"
“Good point. I hope you have fun and maybe it'll mean we’ll have a new girl watching our practices soon.”
“I wouldn’t go that far," Matt answered, his mind unmistakably in two different places. "I’m not going to hang out all morning, but I want you to think about what I said. We make a great team. We’ve known each other forever, and there’s a familiarity that comes with that. It would be good in a band.”
“You know I’m not changing my mind.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.” Matt got up and started up the stairs. When he was about halfway up, he stopped and looked back at me. “Look out for those rabid fans if you go out today.”
With that, he left. But I could still hear his laughter as he shut the door.
I stayed down in my room finishing up the coffee my friend had brought and thinking about the many things he’d said in his short visit.
Sarah worked that morning and wouldn't be home until close to dinner. My dad was an ecologist and was working in the field today, which meant my mom was gone as well. She loved accompanying him when he gathered samples.
No work, no school, no band. I didn't know what to do with a morning all alone.
I spent a few minutes online looking at the videos Matt had warned me about. It was weird watching myself sing into the microphone. It didn’t seem right. Almost like when you hear a recording of your voice.
I muted the volume, but couldn't stop myself from reading the comments. Most were positive while others made me blush.
I realized I liked the attention, if only a little. Would it be so stupid to stay in the band longer than I originally intended? And what would that look like? I could take a semester off, but where was the line?
I worried this small taste of fame was just adding to my uncertainty.
Chapter Seventeen
Michelle
“Michelle,” my dad said, walking into the room. I was sitting in my favorite spot, in front of the television. When I looked up at him, the first thing I noticed was his appearance. The skin under his eyes was dark, and his clothes were more rumpled than usual.
I immediately sat up in my seat. “Dad, are you okay?”
He took his tie off and sat down in his usual chair. “It’s been a long day with very few victories.”
“What do you mean?”
“Did your mother come by Between The Pages recently?”
I thought back to my second day on the job. It wasn’t that long ago, but already I felt like such a different person than I was then. “Yeah, she came in asking for me to move in with her and Daniel.”
He looked up at me with tired eyes. “Do you want to?”
“Not in a million years.” My answer earned a small smile from my father. “What’s going on?”
“Let’s just say things are complicated and I’m having a hard time keeping up. I've had to make some decisions I’m not too happy about.”
“Like what?”
My dad pressed his fingers to his temples. “I have to close Between The Pages.”
“What?” I jumped up in my seat.
“Oh, Princess, there’s no reason to oversell it,” he laughed. “I know you don’t like working there. This means you’ll get to have a little of your summer back.”
“But what about Rainier?” When my dad shot me a curious glance, I added, “and everyone else who works there.”
“I’m not happy about any of this. Trust me, there’s nothing I can do.”
“Does everyone else know?”
“I’m calling a company meeting this week to tell everyone.”
“I hate her," I said, thinking of my mother. "She ruins everything.”
“Michelle, you’ve been working there for a couple of weeks now. Surely even you can see that business isn’t thriving.”
“But it’s not failing either.”
“You don’t know what it takes to keep a business profitable. Sure, people are coming in and buying stuff, but I barely break even. I’ve kept it for sentimental reasons, but I just can’t do it anymore.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, even though I knew my dad wasn’t one to make hasty moves.
In everything, he weighed the pros and cons. Even with my mom, he wanted to try to make things work instead of rushing toward a divorce.
He nodded. “This is how it has to be.”
My dad managed to call an employee meeting sooner than I thought possible. Two days after he broke the news to me, we all met at a local coffee shop called Beans & Things early in the morning before the bookstore opened.
The place had a secret garden feel with potted plants hanging in the windows and wrought iron tables and chairs scattered around the dining area. I used to love going there before I bumped into my ex and his new girlfriend when I was grabbing a latte this past winter.
Things were not friendly between us and the milk from my drink had instantly soured in my stomach after seeing the two of them. I couldn’t drink the lattes there anymore. Plus, I didn’t want to risk seeing them again. So I never went anymore.
Until that morning.
I didn’t have to go to the meeting since my dad had already broken the news to me, but I wanted to show my support. Not that there were many employees at Between The Pages. Other than Jenny, Rainier, and me, there were only two other people wh
o worked there.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m calling a store meeting when we’re so far away from the holiday season,” my dad said to the group once he’d bought drinks for everyone. “It’s with a sorrowful heart that I announce the closing of Between The Pages. This store has been one of my favorite ventures and will always hold a special place in my heart. I am thankful for every one of you, but please consider this your two-week notice. I will happily give you all stellar recommendations on any applications you may fill out for future employment.”
My dad hadn’t finished speaking before the whispers started. Jenny and Rainier’s heads immediately went together, and I felt like a third wheel. I didn’t want to be jealous. Jealousy had only hurt my relationships in the past. But I also hated the history the two of them had.
“This is perfect,” I heard Jenny say, while I pretended not to listen.
“How exactly is this perfect?”
“It’s just the push Rainier and the Go-Aways needed.” Her smile was wild as she spoke the words..
“Jenny, I need the money from work. Besides, Cooper will be rejoining the band soon.”
“No, he won’t.”
“What do you mean?” I blurted.
I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Jenny looked at me out of the corner of her eyes. We hadn’t spoken since the run in at the show in which Rainier had taken charge and led the band. There had been comradery between the two of us before then. Now, the look in her eyes was unkind. Superior?
“I was talking to Matt and he said that Cooper probably won't come back. Same with Owen.”
“When did you talk to Matt?” Rainier asked, bringing her attention back to him.
“The day after your big show.”
“Why were you talking to him?”
“I told him all about our idea.”
I wanted to know what she meant by that, and a quick glance at Rainier said he was thinking the same thing.
“You know,” Jenny started, her voice sweet. “For me to join the band and play the violin.”
All The Things We Were Page 9
