What?
My dad rested his arm on my shoulder pulling me from their conversation just as Rainier was responding. I wanted to hear what he said, but I turned around and looked at my dad who was motioning for me to get up and follow him.
“How do they seem to be taking it?” he asked, once we were a short distance away from the table.
“Good. I guess it’s just the kick Rainier and his band needed to take it to the next level.”
“The one that had you smiling the other day?”
“That very one.”
“Good for them. My buddy, Norm, owns a place in Boise. A lot of popular local bands play there. Maybe I can ask him to give them a listen and call it a severance package,” he said with a smile.
I thought of Jenny and how she said she was joining the band. The competitive part of me wanted to tell my dad not to go through all that trouble. I didn't want him to do her any favors. However, the thought of Rainier needing the money made me think twice.
“Would it be a paying gig?”
“If he likes them, yeah. I know he pays the people who play there nicely. Live music brings more people into his bar.”
“Can you call him right now?”
“Calm down, Princess. It’s still early and he probably won’t be up for another hour. I’ll make sure he gives them a fair shot.”
“Thanks, dad,” I said, lifting up on my tiptoes and hugging him. “You’re the best.”
He chuckled. “Not too long ago, I was ruining your life. If I knew a phone call to Norm was all it took, I would have done it before asking you to come work for me.”
“You didn’t exactly ask me to come work for you.”
“I didn’t, but I also don’t regret it.”
“Me neither,” I said, surprising myself. “But what now?”
“I think you’ve earned yourself a summer off.”
“Just like that?”
“Once you finish your last couple of shifts. But yeah, just like that.”
It should have been great news, but it meant I would have to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my summer. My priorities had shifted in the last few weeks, which meant I would have some planning to do.
Chapter Eighteen
Rainier
“I told you it was a bad idea to have Jenny join the band,” my sister said as she watched me gather my equipment for the show tonight.
It had been a stressful week, and I was still trying to wrap my head around it. First, there was the closing of Between The Pages. I still had three more shifts, but knowing I was done after that was hard. I’d been working there off and on for the last three years. It was my first job. I wasn’t ready to start looking for new employment.
That brought me to the second unexpected change, which was Jenny joining the band and pushing hard for us to hit it big. I'm not sure what happened when she and Matt got together, but they were on the same page in that regard.
And she was a great addition musically, but things were uncomfortable between us. At least on my end. She would laugh just a little too loudly at my jokes and was just a little too touchy-feely at practice.
I hadn’t wanted to see it, but I couldn’t deny Jenny was into me. I didn’t want to cause any drama, especially now that we were playing together and playing someplace new that night.
It left me in an uncomfortable position.
We’d had one show at Wild Bill’s to practice before playing at The Imperial. I felt so much pressure to succeed even though I still planned on leaving the band in August. It was so important to everyone else, and I couldn’t let them down.
Owen had been officially kicked out of the band, which I knew he was not too happy about. And poor Cooper was also gone. I wasn’t sure what to think about that. He was the whole reason the band ever got to play at the Wild Bill’s in the first place. It didn’t seem right to push him out because he broke his arm. Rainier and the Go-Aways was a far cry from The Band. Adding members, changing members.
“Are you listening to me?” Sarah asked, pulling me from my musings.
“Uh, huh.”
“And you don’t mind if I take over your room when you head back to school?”
“Uh– Wait, what?”
“I knew you weren’t listening.”
I sat down on my bed and looked at her. “Sorry, Sarah. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“I know. But I’m anxious about what’s going on with the band.”
“You're anxious about everything.”
“Yeah, but sometimes you're clueless about girls. I’m watching as Jenny is sinking her talons deeper and deeper and you don’t seem to realize.”
“I’m not completely dense. I see it, but what am I supposed to do? It’ll be a moot point in a couple of weeks.”
“If you say so.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She lifted a brow at me. “It just means you’re putting an awful lot of energy into something that you say you’re walking away from.”
“Whatever. I gotta get going.”
I slung my backpack containing my cords and pedals over my shoulder and reached for my guitar as I moved toward the stairs. I didn’t say another word as I left the house.
The Imperial was so much nicer than Wild Bill’s. Not only did they have a real stage instead of the makeshift platform, but they also had a professional sound system and lighting. As we went through our setup and soundcheck, it was tough not to fall into the mindset that we were a legit band playing there. I fought my mind as it imagined what it would be like to do this all the time.
Jenny was positively beaming as we hung out waiting for the show to start. Matt and Carter were huddled together at a table talking furiously about something. I wasn’t getting involved. I planned to enjoy the atmosphere while we waited.
Besides the stage and equipment, The Imperial also had a reputation for being a place where the best bands played. They had a college night every Thursday, which meant we were skipping our usual teen night performance at Wild Bill’s. The pit where everyone would stand to listen was bigger and would fit more people.
The energy was palpable.
Tap, tap, tap.
As the crowd started to thicken, I couldn’t stop myself from the anxious movement that came before a performance.
“Hey, Rainier,” Jenny said as we walked toward the stage. We were opening for another local band with a fierce following. She pulled out a flask from her pocket. “Wanna sip? I’m so nervous I feel like I’m going to hurl.”
I knew that feeling. I had felt that way the first few shows I’d done, but for some reason, I didn’t feel that tonight. I didn’t grab the container from her for multiple reasons.
“No, thanks.” I grabbed my guitar and walked over to the mic. The lights here were much brighter than I was accustomed to and I couldn’t see the crowd very well, even though I knew they were out there.
“Thanks for coming out tonight,” I said into the microphone wondering how many people were out there that hadn’t heard us play before. “We’re Rainier and the Go-Aways.”
The sound of cheers was about what we were used to at Wild Bill’s, which was a slight disappointment since there were more people here. I tried not to dwell on that. It just meant I would have to work harder to win them over.
We played through our set. Matt on drums, Carter on bass, Jenny on violin, and me on guitar and vocals. The combination of covers and originals was perfect, and I could sense the change in the crowd the longer they listened to us play.
When we finished playing our last song, the cheers were much louder than when we first walked up on the stage. It felt good to know we played well enough to gain their applause and whistles. I looked back at the other bandmates to see their reaction. The look of awe on their faces only fed my high. Jenny came running over and hugged me while we were still on stage. Her face so close to mine, I could smell the lingering alcohol on her breath.
For some reason,
the hug made me feel guilty. I wondered if Michelle was in the crowd and what she might think about the display. It was irrational, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I pushed Jenny away. Maybe a little too hard, because hurt quickly flashed in her eyes before she smiled and hugged the other two bandmates.
I shoved all my stuff in my bag and carried my things off the stage as quickly as possible knowing the other band was waiting on us. As I was racing off stage, I caught Matt and Jenny chatting. It pissed me off to see them acting so carefree knowing Chasing Sunsets was about to go on. They were big in Boise. If we wanted to have any chance of breaking into the scene, it would be a good idea not to make them wait.
I shot them both a look before walking off the stage.
As soon as I set my gear down, I went back up to help Matt with his drum set. He was grabbing things by the time I made it to him, and Jenny was taking care of her stuff too. Within minutes we had the stage cleared off enough for the next band to go up.
I took a deep breath and looked around. The place was crowded, and I couldn’t help but notice a few girls I didn’t recognize giving me looks of appreciation. It was flattering, but I was looking for someone. A special girl with an affinity for cherries.
I finally spotted her at the bar. I should have known. She was sitting with a glass of soda in her hand, which she lifted in an unspoken salute when our eyes met.
I walked over, bumping into people who were making their way closer to the stage for the headliner.
“Hey,” I said with a smile as I got close enough for her to hear me.
“You guys sounded good.”
I lifted my brows. “Only good?”
Michelle's face stayed stoic. “Honestly, I’m not even sure you know what you’re doing. Maybe you’re faking it.”
She got up and started to walk off, but I jumped in front of her before she got far.
“Faking it?"
"Uh, huh."
"How would I prove that it wasn’t a fluke then?”
“They say if you truly know something, you can teach it. Give me that guitar lesson you promised me.”
That again. For some reason, it wasn’t nearly as scary as it was the first time Michelle asked. My recent performance made me brave as I flirted with Michelle. “If it’s the only way.”
"It is."
"Then I guess I'd better do it."
“I’ll hold my applause until then.”
We spent a few minutes figuring out the details and agreed that the next afternoon would work for both of us. I planned to go to Michelle's house for the lesson. I didn’t want her at mine.
“Until then.” She got up and started walking toward the door.
“You’re not going to stay and listen to Chasing Sunsets?”
“Nope. I saw who I wanted to see already," she said, finally giving me her brilliant smile.
I watched her leave with a grin of my own plastered to my face.
Chapter Nineteen
Michelle
I still couldn’t believe how good Rainier was the night before. Every time I thought about the way he sounded up on the stage, my stomach started doing somersaults. I couldn’t explain why I was so affected, but I knew it was going to be a long morning. Work was the last thing I wanted to do right now. What I wanted was to get to the part of the day where I saw Rainier again.
I grabbed the book he had suggested before going to Between The Pages. My dad had stopped ordering new inventory with the closure approaching quickly, so I couldn’t imagine there would be a lot to do at work. Besides, I was getting into the story, as much as I hated to admit it. There even was a hot musician as the love interest.
Not that I was looking for love or a hot musician…
I hadn’t thought about my shift very much beyond knowing it would drag, so when I saw Jenny opening the gate to the store for our opening shift, I stopped in my tracks. Girls like her didn’t intimidate me. I was the intimidator. But sitting with her for the next few hours wouldn’t be fun either.
Neither one of us spoke to the other as we went through the opening procedures. We finished with plenty of time to spare, and even when the store opened, there would be very few customers so early in the day.
With nothing to do, I took my usual seat in the chair behind the counter and pulled out my book. I was so close to the end, and I knew it would help pass the time. A small smile tugged at my lips as I thought about the last time I sat in this spot reading this book. Rainier with his own copy. I wondered if he'd finished it yet.
“What is that?” Jenny asked, pulling me from my reading.
“A book.”
“Damn it, Michelle. I don’t have the patience for your sarcastic attitude this morning. Why are you reading that book?”
“Rainier suggested I read it.”
She let out a few unladylike curses before she grabbed the book out of my hand. “This is my favorite book. It’s the one I always suggest to people. Why would he do that?”
“I think it was because it’s your favorite that he suggested it.”
She slammed the book back down. “Well, that's just great. Thank you for officially ruining everything.”
“It’s just a book.”
“You and I both know it’s more than the book. It’s the way you watch him like you own him. You’re popular and beautiful, and Rainier doesn’t know what to do with all the attention."
"I don't think you're giving him enough credit," I said, my voice getting louder as I got up from my seat.
"I’ve been slowing clawing my way out of the friend zone for years. Years, Michelle. And then you come in and swoop him up in a matter of weeks. Do you even like him?”
I didn’t have an answer. Did I like Rainier? The last few weeks had been a weird swirl of emotions. Sometimes I hated him, the rest of the time he made my heart race. I hadn't thought he was anything special, but now I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Jenny’s laugh was without humor. “You’re unbelievable. You just don't want to see anyone else happy, so you've taken him away from me."
"I don't think you can own a person, Jenny."
"That's not what I meant, and you know it, though I'm sure you'd love to go tell him I said that. Everything is so mixed up, and it all began when you started working here. Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"I hate to break it to you, Jenny, but my life does not revolve around you. I have my own issues I'm dealing with, and I don't need you acting all paranoid. Besides, you've been trying to get Rainier to fall for you for years? Shouldn't that tell you something? He's not into you like that."
"I think he might have been if you didn't come along," Jenny said quietly, tears gathering in her eyes.
I let out a deep breath and tried to get my own emotions under control. I knew what it was like to come in second to other people. To not be good enough to be their priority, no matter how much you wanted it.
Seeing that small break in her was enough for me to realize that Jenny wasn't some mean girl competition. She was a girl who was in love with someone that didn't share those same feelings. Or, at least, I hoped he didn't.
"Jenny," I started slowly. "You don't want to force feelings on someone. You'll never know if they're genuine and you'll always wonder if they'll leave. That won't make you happy. It wouldn't make Rainier happy."
"I know."
"You want someone who likes you for who you are."
"I know that," Jenny answered again, this time her reply was harsh. "I just can't imagine ever finding someone as great as he is."
"But you will. And when that happens, you'll wonder what you ever saw in Rainier in the first place."
I thought of all the relationships I had forced. The most recent one being Julian. Avery was right when she said the two of us were together because it was what everyone expected from us. I had loved him, but never in the way I should have, especially in those final weeks.
And when I didn't get what I wanted, I'd gone crazy. I had done the exac
t thing I hated my mom for.
Not that I was cozying up to that woman anytime soon. She was still evil, but maybe there was hope for me?
And more importantly, was I seriously having a heart-to-heart with Jenny?
"Jenny," I said, when she didn't respond to my earlier words. "I like Rainier. I'd sworn off anything romantic until I met him. And now I want nothing more than to see what might happen between the two of us."
"He'll still leave, you know."
"What do you mean?" The words caught me off guard.
"I think he likes you too, but when the summer is over so is whatever happens between the two of you. He's going back to school in the fall. Everyone in the band has tried to convince him otherwise."
"Maybe I'll be the straw that breaks the camel's back."
"But then aren't you doing what you just told me not to do?"
She had a point. I didn't like that she had a point. I was fighting to come up with an answer that I knew wouldn't come, when a customer came in. Never had I been so happy to see someone looking for books.
I let Jenny take care of her. As much as I'd learned in the last few weeks, I wasn't nearly as knowledgeable as my co-worker. I listened as she answered every question she was asked. Jenny was patient, kind. Everything I wasn't.
But most importantly, she wasn't suited for Rainier. I could tell in the way she was able to change her mood so quickly with this customer.
It was possible Jenny loved Rainier, but no more than I had loved Julian. She would be okay without him.
I only hoped the same could be said for me.
Chapter Twenty
Rainier
I parked my car in the driveway of Michelle’s house.
I was torn on whether or not I wanted to be here. There was no denying there was a weird chemistry forming between the two of us. It was just yet to be determined if that was a good thing or not.
We were so different, and it was hard to forget all the horrible things I’d heard about her. My phone buzzed in my lap and I looked down to see a message from Michelle lighting up the screen.
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