Altered

by Shelly Crane

  “What the hell is going on?”

  Fay sighed into my mouth, and that was close to a kiss as we got. I opened my eyes to find Fay’s opened, too. I loosened my grip, but I didn’t let her go. Aries was with Clara and Eli, along with Franz, who seemed entirely too pleased as he grinned at me. I refused to meet his gaze.

  Aries went first. “I met them on the path, told them what happened, and that you’d be bringing Fay back in a moment, but Clara wouldn’t wait.”

  “And it’s a good thing I didn’t!” she yelled and gave me a look that could have killed a weaker man on the spot. “Look at him, trying to take advantage of my sister after what she just went through. I get that you need to feed and it’s hard not to force emotions on people in the camp, but after what she just went through—”

  “I wasn’t feeding from her,” I said. “I hate what her fear tastes like.” She seemed taken aback and I felt Fay’s hand on my chest. I hadn’t realized that I’d growled it at her until I saw Eli’s hand wrap around Clara’s wrist. I took a deep breath. “I’m not going to hurt you, Clara. Just the thought that I want to force fear on Fay is…it’s ridiculous.” I shook my head, but I knew it was pointless. Clara would always see me as a monster. It would only be a matter of time before she turned Fay against me, too.

  “Then what was going on?” Clara asked, quieter this time.

  When Fay said nothing, I shook my head. “I’m…going to bed.”

  “Enoch,” Fay whispered, but that one tiny noise glued me to my spot. “Stay. Please.” I looked over. “Will you stay with me?”

  “Fay?” Clara hissed, but I ignored her.

  “Why?” I asked. I had to know why, when she knew that her sister hated me, she still wanted me to stay.

  She looked at Clara. “He saved my life tonight. Again. He was the one who found out that I had been taken from your house, he followed me through the woods,” she fingered the hole in my shirt, “to save me from the troll who took me.”

  Clara gasped and ran to her. She hugged her and cried, “Oh, my gosh, Fannie. I’m so sorry.”

  Fay sighed. “I hate when you call me that.”

  Clara winced. “Sorry. I can never remember. I’m sorry. I know that this is all a lot to take in. It’s…” She shrugged. “I wish there something I could say to make it better. It seems like ever since you found out about me and Eli, you’ve had a rough time.”

  Fay looked at me. “I’m going to bed.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Clara said and took her arm.

  Her eyes stayed on me. “Enoch, stay with me.”

  “Um…” Clara said and looked between them. “Hell no.”

  “On our trip to find you, Enoch kept me safe. I’ve never felt so safe as when I’m with him.” She left Clara and looked up at me. “It’s not your decision, Clara, it’s Enoch’s. If he doesn’t want to stay with me, then—”

  I took her hand and we started walking through Eli and Franz. One was smiling and one was not. I’m sure you can guess which was which. I could practically hear Clara’s head exploding behind me, but I didn’t care. And I wanted us to have a little time before they got there, so I turned to Fay and smiled as I put my arms around her. She looked pleasantly surprised at my pit stop and the show of affection. “Hold on tight,” I whispered.

  I blurred us through the trees, down the trail, all the way to Eli’s. When we stopped, I fully expected to taste her fear, but her head fell back as she laughed.

  “Wow,” she whispered and stood up straight. “That’s amazing.”

  “Come on,” I beckoned and tugged her inside. “You may feel fine, but you still had a bad day. You need to rest.”

  “Thanks for staying,” she said shyly as she kicked her shoes off and pulled the couch out.

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “I’m sure sitting here watching me sleep isn’t the most fun thing you can be doing.”

  I shook my head and settled into the left side of the bed. “I told you I like to sleep. I like to lie in the bed. Resting, relaxing. If I can do that and know that you’re safe, especially after the day and night that you’ve had?” I shook my head. “Come here.”

  She shook her head. “I sleep on the left side.”

  I laughed. “No, I sleep on the left side.”

  She smiled and it was gorgeous. “You. Can’t. Sleep.”

  “Touché. I rest on the left side.”

  “Are you serious right now?” She raised her eyebrow and tilted her head. Then she bit into her lip.

  I rolled my eyes and scooted over a bit, but not much. “I can’t believe I was brought down by your teeth and that lip.”

  She giggled as she climbed in and I was hit with how normal this was. How human. This was what a normal couple would do. This was what Eli and Clara did, I was sure.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I turned to find her looking at me. I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  “You’re a really bad liar. You would think hundreds of years of living would have honed your skills.”

  I forced a laugh, feeling the weakness from not feeding seeping into me. “So, tell me something.”

  “Like what?”

  I shrugged, though she couldn’t see it. “Anything.”

  She exhaled a shaky breath. “I was dishonorably discharged from the military.” I looked down at her, surprised. She went on. “I was doing everything in my power to get into trouble it seemed.” She shook her head and laughed angrily. “I was so pathetic. I thought the world owed me or something. I hated being in the military, I hated that I was so far away from Clara, I hated myself, I hated that my parents were gone. I got letters of reprimand all the time, but the final straw was a…DUI on the base.” She licked her lip a few times. I could see it in her profile. “The judge practically said I was a spoiled lost cause and stamped my final ticket home.”

  “He was wrong,” I practically barked.

  She laughed softly and reached up to rub my arm with her cool fingers. “Thanks for that, but it’s okay. I deserved it. I was being stupid. If I had hurt someone…” She exhaled and I got a spike of sadness from her. She was honestly fearful about it.

  “Well, I can alter my appearance,” I blurted. She cocked her eyebrow. It was bloody cute. “Yeah,” I reiterated. “If you saw my parents, they’ve altered their appearance to make themselves appear older.”

  “So you can look like someone else?”

  “No, we can’t change what we look like.” She squinted, confused. “What I mean is, we can decide our age basically. Most devourers keep their age relatively young. Why wouldn’t you? We stop aging at around nineteen, but if we choose it, we can alter our appearance to appear older if we like.”

  “Why would someone want to look old?” she asked with a little smile.

  I shrugged. “My parents do it to make themselves look wiser, more respected, I guess. Less like young people and more like people we should look up to.”

  “More like parents?” she guessed.

  I scoffed. “They were anything but good parents.” She pressed her lips together in sympathy. I shook my head. “Don’t feel badly for me. We don’t view family the way humans do. They raised me and their job was done. I wasn’t their prodigal son, the chosen one, so I…wasn’t the one they focused their time on.”

  “That sounds awful.”

  I waved it away. “Tell me about your parents,” I said slowly.

  I expected sadness, but she smiled which surprised me greatly. Humans were such a conundrum. How was something that brought such sadness on every occasion now bringing a smile?

  “They were amazing. My father would melt, literally melt, under Clara’s smile.” She laughed a little. “We were the biggest daddy’s girls. He gave us everything we ever wanted. And my mom…” Her lip quivered. “She was the best. She gave the best advice, took us shopping, made pancakes every Saturday morning, she loved my dad like parents are supposed to love each other.” She wiped under her eye as discreetl
y as she could. “I miss them and honestly I miss thinking about them that way. I only think about them in the ways that I miss them and they were taken from me and not in the ways that they were good to us. So thank you for that. I should do that more often.”

  I rubbed her head a little harder in acknowledgment. “Thanks for the history lesson. I like knowing what makes you tick.”

  She smiled small. “You owe me a story.”

  I felt a warmth settle in me as I imagined taking her in a reverie. ”I’ve got something even better for later. Go to sleep, princess.”

  “What do you do while the rest of us sleep?”

  “Just think,” I whispered. I pulled her over to rest her head on my lap and loved the smile that spread over her face.

  “Don’t think too much, Enoch.” I laughed a little at that and rested my head back against the headboard as I ran my hand through her hair. I knew it would help her go to sleep, and it did. In no time her breathing was slow and she was making those little noises that I was so in love with.

  Bloody hell. I was goner.

  Clara and Eli came in not too long after that. Clara was so mad that she almost stomped right past without even seeing us, but when she did, she boiled over.

  She laid into me, in a whisper of course. “How could you do this? What is wrong with you? Why are you leading her on when you know that you’re not going to act on it more than just banging her a couple times before you skip town?”

  “Clara,” Eli scolded and sat on the chair with a thud. He looked as drained as I felt.

  “No, Eli. You know just like I do that this isn’t going anywhere. It’s not fair for him to let her think that there’s something there when we all know there’s not.” She looked right at me. “She may not know you like we do, and boy do you really have her fooled, but it’s cruel. I don’t know why you’re doing it except to hurt me, to get back at me for taking Eli from you.” A sob caught in her throat and I finally saw that she wasn’t just being a girl about this; she truly, honestly was worried about her sister. And I had been nothing but a monster before to her, a bastard and a monster. I deserved every bit of what she was dishing out. “I’m sorry, Enoch. I’m really sorry. But please don’t take it out on her because of it. Please. She dated a lot but she’s never really had a real boyfriend and…please don’t do this.”

  Her upset and worry hit me like a sledgehammer. I sucked in a breath as quietly as I could. When I looked again, Eli had Clara in his arms and was giving me a look for upsetting his wife.

  I would always be the bad guy. That was apparent.

  “Eli, that little boy who made you start feeling things differently?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

  “What happened? What did it feel like?”

  “What?” Clara asked. “Why are you asking him that?”

  “Because…I haven’t forced an emotion to feed in over a month.”

  Eli immediately lit up, a smile and eyes that were hopeful. Clara, on the other hand, shook her head viciously. “No! You don’t actually believe this, do you? Babe, no.”

  “But he hasn’t been feeding,” Eli reasoned. “He was starving when he showed up and has been ever since.”

  “That’s because there’s no force-feeding in the camp and he doesn’t want to get kicked out.”

  “CB,” he soothed softly and cupped her face, “look. Can we open our eyes about this? We can’t have an explanation about everything, okay?”

  “Yes, we can!” She pushed his hands off. “I can’t believe you’re picking your brother over my sister.”

  “That’s not what’s happening.” He sighed. “And besides, even if it was, listen to yourself, baby.”

  She thought and sighed harshly. “Fine. I see your point. I don’t expect you to pick my sister over your brother, but he is up to no good and I don’t believe this whole I’m changed routine for one minute. He’s just trying to get back at me for bonding myself to you.”

  “Fine, Clara.” He sighed and rubbed his head.

  I drew little circles on Fay’s forehead with my thumb and enjoyed her skin, knowing this was going to have to be our last night together. Fay was fighting with her sister after just finding her, Clara and Eli were fighting, and it was all because of me. There wasn’t a way to prove that I was changed. There just wasn’t. Clara would never believe it and I couldn’t just break up all these other relationships because I selfishly wanted one of my own.

  Clara and Eli went to bed and all night I sat there and relished my time with Fay, knowing it would be short and final.

  She would hate me tomorrow. I would make sure of that. It would help her get over it. I, on the other hand, would live with this in my gut forever. But it was a pain I would cherish.

  The next morning, I left before anyone woke. I was getting fidgety from not feeding. Today, I’d have to feed. No way around it. And Fay wasn’t going to be happy about how I had to do it. I stole a kiss from her cheek and regretted not getting to know what her lips truly tasted like. I left as silently as I could.

  When I stepped from the trailer, I saw Aries and Franz talking to a witch by the river. As soon as Aries saw me, he waved and told them goodbye. He ran over in a sprint and I walked over to meet him halfway. When I reached him, I slammed him against the tree by his neck. “How dare you tell Fay all of my business?”

  He smiled and patted my shoulder. “You’re welcome.”

  I scoffed and leaned back. “You’re such a bastard.”

  He laughed. “She’s adorable,” he said. I raised an eyebrow at him and he lifted his hands in surrender. “And she’s amazing.” I grumbled. “And she’s half in love with you.”

  I shook my head slowly. “I…can’t, Aries.”

  “Can’t? Won’t?”

  “Can’t,” I growled. “She’s human. She needs a human.”

  He smiled wryly. “Oh, the old eye for an eye bit.” He lifted his bonded wrist. “Your hate for your brother’s mate is showing.”

  “I’m sorry,” I grumbled. He looked shocked and cocked his head at me. “It’s not just that. It’s not just that she’s a human. She’s…incredible. She deserves better. I’m a...demon. I don’t even deserve to look at her.”

  When he stayed quiet, I looked at him and he was smiling barely. “Holy…my, my. I thought I’d never see the day.”

  “What?” I barked and let loose my glare on him.

  “I thought you just wanted to mate her,” he said with a wink and started to back up. “But Enoch Thames is about to get himself bonded.”

  “Don’t even say the words,” I roared and was breathing so heavy I felt lightheaded. But I didn’t need to breathe. It was all in my head.

  He just smiled and saluted to me as he walked away.

  I couldn’t let her bond herself to me. She’d be stuck with me forever, a murderer, a bastard. I couldn’t let that happen.

  My hands started to shake. I needed to feed so badly and this wasn’t helping.

  I lifted my eyes and searched for Franz. I was going to kill two birds with one stone.

  When I woke, I expected Enoch to be there still, but he wasn’t. I sighed, knowing that Clara and Eli coming in last night probably hadn’t gone well and I’d just slept through the whole thing. When I got up and got dressed, I ask Clara and Eli what happened and instead of telling me, she immediately started telling me that he was just using me to get back at her and I should just go ahead and forget him. That he was going to hurt me.

  So I rolled my eyes and left even as she continued to yell.

  As soon as my foot hit the dirt and the sun hit my eyes, I saw Enoch marching across the camp. He looked like he was on a mission. I followed him to the big tent that was apparently deemed ground central for this place. Behind it was a community building.

  When I got there a couple minutes behind him, there was a little group gathered there. They seemed to be getting ready for some kind of class or something. Someone hopped up in front of me and smiled
really happily. “Hi! We’re having a bow and arrow class. Would you like to join us?”

  “Uh…” When I tried to move around her, she moved to block my way. It was the first indication that something was wrong. I did that uncomfortable laugh of mine. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing? What do you mean?”

  “You’re blocking me? What’s going on?”

  She made a pssht noise and looked behind her. “Nothing is going on.”

  I put on my military face. “Move.”

  Her eyes got big. “Uh…”

  “I don’t know who you are or why you’re…”

  From behind her I could see Franz in the back hall, and he was escorting Enoch and a woman toward one of the back rooms. “That bastard,” I whispered.

  “He needs to feed,” the woman blocking me said. “He’s starving. She’ll give him what he needs and then he’ll be okay again. They’ll be done soon and—”

  “Stop talking.”

  I pushed her out of the way and ran toward them.

  “I’ll feed him.” They all stopped, hearing me behind them.

  “No, Fay,” Enoch growled and came toward me. “I told you, I don’t want to taste your sorrow.”

  I felt my heart beat hard against my ribs. “That’s not the only way I can feed you, is it?”

  He opened his mouth, but stopped. His eyes half-closed and he looked drugged. He sighed which turned into a groan. “Don’t do this to me,” he whispered in a beg. I leaned back a little, confused. He grabbed my arm and pulled me close. “You know what she’s going to feed me, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I answered quietly. “You don’t want that from me? At all? Not even after last night?”

  “I’ve wanted nothing more from the minute I saw you,” he growled, angrier than I’d seen him in days.

  “Then what’s the problem?” I murmured.

  I saw everyone in the corner of my eye as they left the room, knowing this was no longer something they needed to see. This was no longer their business. Even Franz and the witch who was going to feed him left. She smiled at me as she closed the door. I didn’t know what that smile meant.