In the Arms of Mr. Darcy tds-4

by Sharon Lathan

  “I searched long for love, a particular type of love that I never saw even remotely in anyone until Elizabeth. The odds of me being able to relinquish the totality of my sentiments were unlikely. The odds of finding another woman to love and fill that void, even slightly, were smaller still. You, conversely, barely considered the idea of marriage, let alone passionate love, until a year ago. I am in no way diminishing the force of your convictions and emotions, Cousin. Rather I judge you a man more capable of handling the battles and storms of life. I envy you that trait, always have. Your strength is of a different quality than mine. You are resilient, adaptable, spirited, and sanguine. Doom and gloom simply do not surround you, they never have.”

  Richard nodded. “Perhaps that means I am incapable of deep love.”

  “No! I did not mean that!”

  Richard chuckled. “Oh, be still, William, I know you didn’t. Nor do I think that true of me. You are absolutely correct, actually, annoying as that is to admit to your face. You have a serious streak a hundred miles long whereas I cannot go an hour without joking.” He sighed again, deeply, before leaning forward and snatching Alexander away from his perch between his father’s legs, the baby hardly blinking as he calmly transferred his interest to the big man’s shiny buttons and epaulettes.

  “We are different, you and I, in many ways. I know my love for Simone was real and strong. And I know it will hurt for a long while to come. But I also know I can love another. Resilient, as you said.” He smirked, Darcy grinning helplessly. “Yet there are dozens of ways in which we are exactly the same. Furthermore, I have changed significantly. I know what I want and it is a family. I want a woman at my side and one of these”—he tickled Alexander, who giggled—“to play with and annoy me at night. And just to be clear, I blame you for every last bit of it and damn you each chance I get!”

  “I shall accept responsibility partially, although I believe your mother may have some fault in your corruption. For the record, and I cannot believe I am saying this, the woman who graces your side will be a lucky woman indeed.”

  “Do you truly mean that?” The sharp tone and piercing glance were not lost on Darcy, but interpreted incorrectly.

  “Of course I mean it! I may deny it unless in a court of law, but I do mean it.” He smiled to soften his taunt, voice falling into the husky timbre associated with heartfelt emotion. “Lady Fotherby is a fool to choose as she did, Richard. There is no sense in it at all. It is her loss and I pity her idiocy even though I am filled with anger for her hurting you. Elizabeth is merely incensed with no sympathy at all.” He chuckled. “You will be a fabulous husband and marvelous father. Any woman will be blessed to be yours.”

  “Thank you, William. That means the world to me.”

  Late the following afternoon, Richard successfully sought out Georgiana in the orangery. A light rain had begun to fall again, softly pelting the panes of glass and obscuring what grey daylight feebly shone through, casting the generally bright, almost summery atmosphere of the garden chamber into a gloomy pall. Nonetheless, it was warmer here than anywhere else in the Manor, and the varied blooms and greenery persistently flourished in oblivion to the dormancy in the world without.

  The previous night’s revelry at the Vernors had extended until daylight was beginning to flirt with the horizon, so the household was even at this late hour in a state of hushed recuperation. Few stirred, Georgiana having not risen until well after noon. She did not bother to dress in more than a simple morning gown and her hair was worn down in a thick, unadorned braid, but Richard thought she never looked lovelier.

  “Should I greet with good-morning or good-afternoon?”

  Georgiana turned from the roses with a ready smile. “It is nearly close enough for good-evening, so take your pick.”

  He bowed gallantly, kissing the hand offered, and then tucked it into the crook of his arm. They began to stroll. “How are your feet this afternoon, Colonel?”

  “Surviving admirably, Miss Darcy. And yours? I do believe I may have trod upon them a time or two.”

  “You not even once. Light as air when you dance, kind sir. Pity the same cannot be said for Mr. Simpson or Mr. Dalby.” She shuddered dramatically.

  Richard tsked sympathetically. “Poor lads. See, you should have reserved all your dances for me and then you would not be suffering so today.”

  “A girl needs to spread her charms about, so I have been taught. It is the proper way of it, and I am a proper lady so will make the sacrifice. As it is, I danced with you four sets so you are now indelibly part of the Derbyshire rumor mill for some time to come. Horribly irresponsible of me, but I could not resist your charms.”

  “And are my charms and any subsequent rumors involved distasteful, Georgie?”

  She flushed slightly, but glanced into his eyes. “You know well that they are not, Richard.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she went on quickly, “Did you see William or Lizzy about?”

  “No. Mr. Taylor said they have placed orders not to be disturbed until dinner time.” He chuckled. “I would have thought after two years of marriage they may have grown bored with languishing in each other’s company all day.”

  Georgiana laughed gaily, slapping at his arm. “You know as well as I that that is unlikely ever to be the case.”

  “It never bothers you at all? Being ignored while they… focus elsewhere.”

  “No need to be coy, Cousin. I am not all that innocent! And besides, you forget that I have lived all my life with William’s attention often diverted elsewhere, and thus spending days and occasionally weeks rarely seeing him. At least now I know he is not buried unhappily under a mountain of work, but rather buried in a more pleasant manner.”

  Richard nearly choked at the sly tone of her innuendo, unable to speak as he stared in astonishment at her arch expression. “They will emerge eventually, smiling and rested, glowing ridiculously. No, it warms my heart immeasurably to witness my brother’s felicity. The whole world should strive for the same.” She paused, releasing Richard’s arm to pick a pink camellia, and then turned slowly back toward him. “Forgive me, Richard. That was a thoughtless remark.”

  “No apology necessary, my dear. And you are correct, of course. The world should strive for happiness and love. The fact that my first foray into the romantic realm failed miserably does not alter that reality. My prayer is that my second attempt shall prove victorious.”

  She met his eyes, blushing faintly before looking away as she again clasped his arm and began walking. Silence fell for a time, broken by Richard, “Georgiana, you know I am planning to leave tomorrow?” She nodded. “I came here seeking refuge and a sturdy shoulder to cry on, so to speak. However, I never anticipated that I would find both in you. I hope you know how deeply appreciative I am?”

  “I do, but you need not thank me, Cousin. I am happy to have been your solace.”

  “That is the amazing thing, Georgie. Or at least one of the many amazing things.” She gazed up at him in question, Richard halting and reaching to lightly stroke her cheek. “I know you offered yourself freely to comfort me with no expectation or hesitation. You are truly a remarkable woman, Georgiana Darcy, a wonderful friend, and very dear to me.”

  She smiled and laughed, tone teasing. “So you finally admit it? That I am no longer your little mouse?”

  “Yes, it is a fact of extreme clarity to me.” His voice was muted and a bit shaky. Their eyes locked, both unable to draw away although the reality of what they knew was coming loomed largely between. Surges of emotion raced over their eyes and countenances, too rapid to interpret fully. Richard inhaled deeply, “Georgiana…”

  “Richard, I do not think…”

  “Please, dear, let me say it. I know it is all too soon, too fast, too real. But I cannot leave without telling you how I feel. I came here broken, despairing, and certain that my life was over as far as love is concerned. I was not looking for anything except escape. Discovering a birth of new emotions for you was most as
suredly not on my agenda, but I cannot contradict their blossoming. I have fought it, analyzed it, dissected it, denied it, but the result is the same. I am falling in love with you, Georgiana, as a man does a woman who is astounding and beautiful and kind and generous and, and… so many perfect traits that it would take me hours if not a lifetime to list them all!”

  “Richard, please stop!” She pulled away, taking several steps before halting with her back to him.

  Silence fell again, Richard gathering his thoughts before resuming. “I have overwhelmed you, haven’t I? Forgive me, Georgiana, for being too… enthusiastic. I am not asking for any promises, not that I would not welcome such. But I know the circumstances are… strange, to put it mildly. Just… please, tell me there is hope that your feelings for me may someday be reciprocated, even if it is a faint one.”

  She turned to him then, face flushed but composed, eyes shining and smile soft. “Richard Fitzwilliam, I have loved you all of my life, you know this. These past weeks have been revealing and surprising. My heart stirs in ways that I do not understand, nor do I think I am quite prepared for.”

  “Does that mean you are beginning to have feelings of romantic love for me?”

  “I do not know! You arrived sad and forlorn, but nonetheless were still just Cousin Richard. My fun-loving guardian whom I have no memory of ever living without. Then, somewhere in the midst, you were a man. Looking at me as a man does. It is all so confusing!”

  “You said your heart stirs. Does it stir in the ways of a woman toward a man she loves?”

  She stared at him silently for a long while, face pale and eyes slightly wild. Her voice, when she spoke, was hushed to nearly inaudible levels. “Yes. Perhaps. I think so… Oh, Richard! How can this be, between us?”

  “It is not so unusual, Georgiana. We have always been close, with a strong bond. This foundation supports a richer emotion. It has taken some time, but I finally grew up in the area of women and love, and am desirous of a committed relationship. And you, my beautiful, dear Georgiana, have matured and flourished right before my eyes.”

  She sighed. “As much as I appreciate your recognition of my maturity, and as much as I pridefully want to avow it, the truth is that I am yet young and somewhat sheltered despite the eye-opening events of the past two years.” She laughed and nodded toward the Master of Pemberley’s bedchamber. “Or perhaps it is because of all that has been thrust upon me so radically that I hesitate now. Romance runs amok hereabouts, and it is difficult not to be influenced by it. But, more importantly, I worry for you, my dear friend.”

  “I know my heart, Georgiana,” he stated firmly.

  “Are you so sure of that, Richard? Completely? You have been wounded so profoundly by Lady Fotherby. How can your heart honestly be ready to move on so swiftly?”

  “I am resilient.”

  She blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

  “Just something Darcy said,” he shrugged, smiling weakly.

  “Resilient you may be, but you are not fickle. I see the haunting in your eyes at unguarded times. I note how your jaw clenches when the London newspapers are delivered. I know your reluctance to leave Pemberley is partly due to the memories that will assault you in Town and the fear you have of meeting her. I know your heart is not free of her.”

  “I will not deny any of this, Georgie. My sentiments toward Lady Fotherby were real, and I am not completely past it. But do you not see?” He suddenly crossed the gap between them, taking her hands in his strong ones. “I am not an inconstant man! Love ambushed me to be sure, but I plunged in full force, no faltering. I am not afraid to admit the truth when it is thrust in front of me. I am a man of action, a soldier undaunted by any challenge or situation. And I see it through to the end with total commitment. But in the case of Lady Fotherby, it was not meant to be apparently. Now, it is as if history has repeated itself with you! I am equally startled by the unexpected evolution of my love for you, but I am not afraid or unsure!”

  “But I am,” she whispered.

  “Of what are you afraid, dearest?”

  She inhaled, moving to sit on the nearby bench. “I am afraid what we are experiencing is two people drawn by mutual concern, comfort, familiarity, need.” She waved her hand vaguely. “And maybe that is enough. I know it is more than some couples ever have. Not all are like my brother and Lizzy, who share a bond of love that is monumental and passionate. Not everyone requires that sort of marriage. But one should not settle.”

  “We would not be settling, Georgiana. I am positive of that!”

  “But you cannot declare that you feel such passion for me. As you did for Simone?”

  She looked up at him. He stood tall and firm, face resolute, but he did not readily respond or counter. There was a lingering sadness in the drawn corners of his reddened eyes and the droop in the bend of his lips and the faint grey lines on his cheeks. A wash of intense love and protection deluged her soul. For the first time in her short adult life with any man, even in these past weeks of observing him and trying desperately to make sense of her emotions, she felt an incredible urge to kiss that mouth. To take away his pain and taste of his love. It overwhelmed her, the force of it; but finally it was clear.

  She smiled, patting the space beside her. Richard sat, eyes never leaving hers as she took his hands and squeezed firmly.

  “I do love you, Richard. I always have and I always will. I am still somewhat confused as to the whole nature of my love for you, but it is immutable, of that I am certain. Furthermore, I am absolutely convinced that this is true of you for me.”

  “Oh, Georgie!” Tears were welling in his eyes, and she reached to brush a spilled drop away.

  “I promise that I will be here for you, waiting. But I want you to leave tomorrow. Go back to London and your regiment. Confront the demons there. You need the time, whether you deem it so or not. You asked for hope, dearest Richard, and I am giving it to you. All I ask in return is that you heal fully, be utterly convinced your heart is all mine before you offer it to me again. You owe this to yourself as well as to me. Can you do this?”

  He nodded, too overcome to speak.

  “Whatever happens, nothing will alter the bond we have, Cousin. Nothing! All I want is your happiness. If that is me, then we will be marvelous together, I am sure of it. But if not”—she shook her head, reaching to gently cup his face—“I will rejoice in seeing a sincere smile upon your face once again.”

  She nestled into his chest, Richard embracing fiercely but tenderly. “I love you, Georgiana Darcy.”

  “And I love you, Richard Fitzwilliam.”

  Lizzy stood by the window embrasure in their sitting room, staring down onto the muddy drive that not too many hours earlier Colonel Fitzwilliam had ridden south on for his return to London. The door opened behind her, closing with a secure thud, but she did not turn around. Of course it was not necessary, the entrant obvious even if she had not felt his presence and smelt his cologne.

  “Alexander is soundly asleep. It took two storybooks to accomplish the task this time. I am beginning to believe reading from picture books is not conducive to influencing somnolence since he insists on pointing to each item until the name is given, often babbling on as he apparently creates his own tale.” He stroked over her arms, kissing the top of her head before enfolding in a tight embrace.

  “Thank you for attending to him, dearest. I was otherwise engaged.”

  “Indeed. I thought Georgiana would keep you prisoner all day. Are you going to share with me what is disturbing her? Or is it a female issue that I would rather not be privy to?”

  Lizzy laughed, turning to bestow a brief kiss and then grasping his hand and tugging toward the sofa. “It is a female issue, yes, but not of the sort that will make you blush and squirm. Sit and I will remove your boots.”

  He did, with a loud groan and heavy sigh, eyes closing as his head fell back onto the cushions. “I am exhausted. We had far fewer visitors this year, but the drama swirling about wa
s draining. I thought Richard was doing better, but last night he was clearly agitated. I guess the idea of returning to London was regressing. I tried to get him to talk, but he was unusually taciturn. I feel for him.” His voice dropped, eyes opening a slit to look upon his wife where she sat on the ottoman with his feet on her lap, massaging with firm fingers over his soles and calves. “I know it is horrible, but his situation brings up memories that I wish to forget and I confess I am somewhat gladdened to have him gone.” Lizzy smiled softly, squeezing his ankles in empathetic understanding. “Mostly though, I am simply torn with grief for him. He is a hardy soul, but I know he is in pain.”

  “I would not fret too much about Richard. I have it on good authority that he is learning to deal with his broken heart admirably.”

  He frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

  Despite the seriousness of her information, and the honest uncertainty of how he would react, Lizzy could not help but laugh and shake her head. “Fitzwilliam Darcy, you are the most intelligent man I know, and uncannily astute in most matters, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships you are strangely insensate!”

  His frown deepened into a faint offended sulk, but he did not argue the assertion. He still did not know what she meant, but before he could inquire for illumination she gave a final sharp stroke to the arch of each foot, causing him to release a throaty moan of pleasure and close his eyes.

  “So, do you want me to share what is plaguing Georgiana?” She planted his feet comfortably on the ottoman and moved to sit beside him.

  He laced her fingers with his, not opening his eyes. “Please. The conundrum of Colonel Fitzwilliam is out of my hands now, but I may be able to ease my sister’s burdens.”

  “I hate to disappoint you, but the two are intertwined.” He glanced at her then, brow arching. Lizzy bit her lip and squeezed the hand lying on his thigh. “William, I do not know how to say this in such a way that might ease your surprise, so I will simply blurt it out. Just try to be calm so we can discuss it.” His frown had deepened even further. She swallowed and inhaled. “Richard has declared to Georgiana sentiments of love and wishes for a permanent arrangement with her. Georgiana is yet a bit confused, but I believe her feelings have grown as well and she is not averse to the idea. Nothing was decided definitively, as they both need time, and I am sure Richard would speak to you before asking Georgie to marry him, but it is heading that way.”