Payment in Love

by Penny Jordan

  ‘I wasn’t criticising,’ Kyle told her. ‘I’ve still got the first present your folks ever gave me. A football.’

  ‘I remember it…’ She did indeed. She could remember the day she and her parents had gone out to buy it. They had been so excited about the prospect of Kyle coming to live with them permanently, and she had been resentful and determined to be as difficult as possible.

  They had wanted to buy him a fort, complete with toy soldiers, but had finally settled on the football. They had bought her a doll, which she had never touched, she remembered, sighing for the stubborn, difficult child she had been.

  ‘Heather…’

  Was that really diffidence she could hear in his voice? Abruptly she turned away, not wanting to hear whatever it was he was going to say.

  ‘Here’s the full order book. We’d better go down, your coffee will be getting cold. Or would you like to have a look at your old room while we’re up here, just for “old times’ sake”?’

  She bit her lip immediately she had made the sarcastic remark. What was the matter with her? Already she seemed to be doing her best to antagonise Kyle. She saw his mouth thin and tighten.

  ‘Still the same old Heather, after all.’

  The weary resignation she heard in his voice was so out of character that she stared at him.

  ‘Kyle…’

  ‘Forget it. I thought you’d finally grown up, Heather, but it seems I was wrong. I’ll take all this stuff home with me and then we can discuss it over lunch tomorrow. How well do you know Bath?’

  ‘Reasonably,’ she responded, not sure where his question was leading.

  ‘I own a property just outside the city. We’ll meet there.’

  Back in the kitchen he gave her the address and directions. Heather had a good idea where it was and assured him that she shouldn’t have any problems in finding it.

  ‘Good. I’ll see you there about twelve.’

  He got up and picked up all the files, leaving Heather to almost run after him as he headed for the door in long strides.

  ‘Be careful when you’re driving,’ he warned her as she let him out. ‘Frost and then more snow is forecast…just as well he decided to leave.’

  The taunting note in his voice reminded her of Howard’s hurried exit, and she demanded angrily, ‘Just what exactly did you say to him?’

  ‘What makes you think it was something I said? Perhaps he got scared and changed his mind. You’ve got a very hungry look about you, Heather. Some men might find that intimidating.’

  ‘But not you, I suppose,’ Heather challenged, too angry to watch her words.

  ‘Are you trying to tell me that you actually want to find out?’

  Of course she wasn’t, and he knew it! This element of sexual tension had never been there in their previous relationship of mutual antipathy, and she couldn’t understand how it came to be there now. It confused and alarmed her. She wasn’t used to indulging in this kind of riposte with Kyle, and when he made comments like that it threw her. As he fully intended it should do, she suspected angrily.

  While she hunted desperately to think up a suitably crushing retort, he was already turning to leave.

  ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ were his last words to her.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ODDLY, in view of her pending luncheon engagement with Kyle, Heather slept very well, but the moment she woke up her tension returned. Yesterday’s headache was now just a vague nagging pain in the back of her neck and, while her concern over the financing of her father’s operation had eased, she was now on edge in a different way.

  She had told herself, from the moment she’d accepted that she would have to approach Kyle on her parents’ behalf, that her memories of him were coloured by her own immaturity and jealousy, and that he could not be as all-powerful as she had imagined. It had been disturbing to discover how quickly and how easily he could make her feel fourteen years old again.

  Today, though, he was not going to catch her off guard. She would be in full control. She would be calm and restrained, and they would talk about the business as though he was as remote from her personal life as her father’s bank manager or accountant.

  It worried her how quickly and easily he seemed to have slipped back into their lives. It was almost as though he had never been gone.

  He made her feel like a cat with its fur stroked the wrong way, all on edge and ruffled.

  Her skin was too pale, she acknowledged as she got ready. Too many sleepless nights and too much worry had taken their toll on her. She had lost weight; the skirt she had decided to wear was loose on her waist, her face looked drained and tired, and even her hair, normally so vibrant and full of life, seemed lacklustre.

  An hour later, she stood back from her mirror and viewed her reflection critically. It was amazing what make-up could achieve. She hadn’t gone to art school for nothing and, although there was nothing heavy or overdone about the way she had made up her face, she had subtly managed to conceal nearly all the effects of the last few very harrowing days.

  It wasn’t snowing when she left, although snow was forecast and it was bitterly cold. The roads were treacherous, with deep ruts of frozen slush and patches of ice.

  The van had been slow to start, coughing and sputtering protestingly, and it seemed to Heather as she drove that the engine note didn’t sound quite as it ought.

  She drove slowly and carefully, not wanting to take any risks. She had allowed herself plenty of time, and Kyle’s directions were very clear and concise.

  He hadn’t given her any explanation as to why he wanted her to call at his home, other than to say that sometimes he preferred to work from there. She had half expected to find him living in one of the many very lovely formal mansions in the countryside surrounding Bath, but instead, when she finally turned in through the gates and up the drive, she discovered in front of her a low, rambling farmhouse built in cream stone under a slate roof.

  Kyle’s car, a powerful Jaguar, stood outside, and although the informal gardens looked bare under the harsh winter sky Heather could well imagine that in spring and summer this must be an idyllic spot.

  Kyle came out to greet her as she stopped the van.

  If anything, the temperature seemed to have dropped even further. Or maybe it was just because she was so cold that she thought it had, for as they went inside Kyle remarked casually, glancing at the sky, ‘We’ll have snow before the afternoon’s over. I can smell it in the air, can’t you?’

  She hadn’t come here to listen to idle conversation about the weather, Heather thought tensely, as she allowed him to take her heavy coat.

  The heating system in the van was temperamental to say the least, and she shivered as she took her coat off.

  ‘Cold? Come into the library.’

  The floor in the hallway was uneven and homely, huge polished stone slabs with rich dark rugs over them.

  Kyle opened one of the doors and stood back to let her pass. The doorway was only narrow, and as she moved forward Heather caught the clean male scent of his skin. Instantly her muscles froze, a faint frisson of sensation skittering down her spine.

  ‘What’s the matter?’

  She caught Kyle’s frown as she hurried forward, her face flushing uncomfortably in the realisation of her almost sexual awareness of him.

  ‘Just cold, that’s all,’ she fibbed, hurrying towards the fire burning in the huge stone grate.

  On the carved wooden mantel she could see a coat of arms with a Latin inscription, and she pretended to be engrossed in it to give herself time to get back to normal. What was the matter with her? It was completely crazy that she should have imagined, even for a second, that that peculiar frisson had been caused by anything remotely sexual. She disliked and detested Kyle; he wasn’t her type of man. She had always viewed his life-style with distaste, and she could no more imagine the thought of him as her lover than she could…

  With a shock of sensation that brought hot colour burning al
l through her body, she stopped herself. It must be the worry, she thought distractedly, that must be what was causing all these odd thoughts to come to mind.

  ‘Drink?’

  It took her several seconds to focus on what he was saying.

  ‘Oh, yes…er…coffee, please…’

  ‘Stay here, I’ll go and get it.’

  She couldn’t help lifting her eyebrows and asking mockingly, ‘You’ll go and get it? Rather a comedown, isn’t it, for the great Kyle Bennett? I should have thought you’d have a string of willing handmaidens to perform such mundane tasks as that.’

  ‘I have a woman from the village who comes in to clean and gets in the shopping for me. You forget, Heather, when you’ve been institutionalised you soon learn the true value of having your own privacy.’

  She felt her skin heat up in shamed embarrassment at her implied lack of insight. It infuriated her that Kyle seemed to have this knack of always putting her in the wrong, of making her feel that her emotional responses were shallow and childish.

  As though the small, bitter exchange had never taken place, he asked casually, ‘Black or white?’

  ‘White, please.’

  When he had gone she stretched out her hands to the fire, luxuriating in its warmth.

  ‘We’ll get business out of the way first and then we’ll have lunch. I hope you still like chicken casserole.’

  ‘We’re eating here?’

  ‘Why not? You don’t have any objection, do you? I promise you I’m not going to poison you. I’ve rather a lot to get through before I leave for the States, and, to be honest, I simply don’t have the time to drive a dozen or more miles to eat what would probably be an indifferent meal, surrounded by the unedifying babble of the conversation of others.’

  ‘Forgive me, I’m sorry if I’m taking up too much of your valuable time,’ Heather interrupted sarcastically, still sore from their previous exchange, and reaching for her bag. ‘You were the one who wanted to talk, Kyle. I…’

  ‘All right, come down off your high horse.’

  Heather gasped as he took hold of her and firmly pushed her down into a chair.

  ‘God, why on earth is it that you always have to twist everything I say, Heather? If I hadn’t wanted to see you today, I wouldn’t have suggested that we have lunch together but, having said that, I felt that what we had to say to one another could best be said in the comfort and privacy of my home than over a dining-table in public.’

  He had a point, of course, but Heather didn’t want to acknowledge it.

  ‘And, of course, my time isn’t valuable, is that it?’ she demanded acidly. ‘It doesn’t matter that I’ve had to waste over an hour driving here, and then an hour driving back, two hours when I could have been working.’

  ‘Could you?’ Kyle asked her wryly, reaching down on to the table in front of him and picking up their order book.

  As he deliberately thumbed through the betrayingly empty pages, Heather fought to control her chagrin.

  ‘All right, so we don’t have a lot of orders on hand at the moment, but…’

  ‘But nothing, Heather. The business is finished. You know it and I know it,’ he interrupted flatly. ‘Your father’s heading for bankruptcy unless he gets out now, and I mean now…like immediately. I’ve been to see your mother this morning—which is why I invited you here, by the way. She’s agreed, and so has your father, that I can take over the business with immediate effect. From this morning, your father’s company officially became a part of Bennett Enterprises.’

  Heather stared at him. ‘You’ve taken over the company? But…’

  ‘Lock, stock and barrel,’ Kyle told her calmly. ‘Between us, your mother and I managed to persuade your father that he’s never going to be physically strong enough again to go back on the road and run the business as well. To be honest with you, I think he was quite relieved by my offer. I’ve paid him enough for the company to ensure that he and your mother will have a comfortable retirement.’

  ‘You’ve paid for the company? You mean, you’ve bought it from him?’

  ‘Is there any other way of acquiring someone else’s business legally, other than marrying into it?’ Kyle asked sardonically. ‘Certainly I’ve bought it from him. Come on, Heather, you know your father. Did you honestly think he would sit back and simply allow me to pay for his operation?’

  Of course, he was right.

  ‘But the company isn’t worth anything,’ she told him slowly. ‘My father knows that…’

  ‘I’ve managed to convince him otherwise,’ Kyle told her coolly, ‘And in point of fact it could be worth something to me eventually, if only from the point of view of its excellent reputation.’

  ‘But we’re window-dressers…you don’t own any shops.’

  ‘Not at the moment, but I am building, or rather developing, a small and very exclusive arcade of boutiques in Bath which will be let out under an umbrella scheme to ensure that anyone who rents one will conform to the very high standards we intend to set. The service we will provide as management could well benefit from the inclusion of a specialist window-dressing service.’

  It all sounded so plausible, and yet Heather knew that her father’s business was virtually worthless.

  ‘How much did you pay him?’ she asked hesitantly, her mouth dry.

  Immediately his face closed up against her, his mouth thin and harsh.

  ‘I can’t tell you that. It’s something between your father and myself.’

  Instantly she felt as though a door had been slammed in her face; she felt shut out and rejected, a feeling she was intensely familiar with from her childhood and, as she had done then, she retreated now behind a protective barrier of sarcasm.

  ‘Nothing’s changed, has it, Kyle? You still resent me just as much as I resent you. You’re just smarter at hiding it, that’s all.’

  ‘That’s certainly one way of looking at it, I suppose,’ he agreed after a long silence. He was looking at her in an odd and unfamiliar way; as though something about her…hurt him…

  Shrugging off the thought, Heather glared belligerently at him.

  ‘I’m not going to let you provoke me into a row, Kyle. I can’t pretend to see what it is my parents see in you, other than the fact that you’re male,’ she told him bitterly, unwittingly betraying her own carefully hidden insecurity. ‘But for their sakes…’

  ‘Is that really it?’ Kyle asked her softly, not allowing her to finish. ‘Is it my masculinity you’re envious of, Heather?’

  ‘No!’ Her exclamation was an instant and vehement denial of the cynical implication she could read in the bitter twist of his mouth. She was more than happy with her femininity, and the implication behind Kyle’s soft words brought a furious scorch of colour to her face.

  ‘No…nothing like that.’ She swallowed hard, knowing that she had unwittingly allowed herself to stray on to very dangerous ground.

  Kyle was watching her like a cat at a mousehole, and he wasn’t going to let her escape without at least a token explanation.

  Remembering the advice of her counsellor, she forced herself to swallow down her pride, and to ignore her natural inclination to keep her most intimate and personal thoughts hidden. Instead, she said huskily, ‘Once…before you came to live with us, my mother lost a baby. It…he would have been a boy. I once overheard someone talking about it. She…they implied…or at least I interpreted their conversation to mean that my parents considered a daughter very much second-best.’

  She waited in horror for him to taunt her with her revelation, but instead he said nothing.

  She had delivered her husky, proud admission to the fireplace, not daring to look straight at him, and now as she caught his movement on the periphery of her vision she automatically flinched, as though waiting for a blow.

  ‘I was wrong,’ she heard him saying in a harsh voice. ‘You have grown up.’

  ‘You don’t sound very pleased about it.’

  How idiotic to sound
so peevish! But she needed to scuttle back into the safety of their normal acid exchanges to be able to cope with the emotional intensity of what had gone before.

  ‘Perhaps I’m not,’ he agreed, and then, before she could speak he added quietly, ‘Since it seems to be confession time, I might as well admit that I resented you as well. It wasn’t easy for the child that I was to accept that your parents loved me simply for myself. It wasn’t something I’d experienced before, you see. You know that my father deserted my mother—he’s dead now, by the way—and that my mother died. It took me a long time to accept that your parents loved me for myself and not because they simply wanted to be seen to be doing “the right thing” in giving a home to someone like me.’

  ‘But you walked out and turned your back on them.’

  There was a long silence. She could feel the tense thud of her heart. They were on the verge of a new beginning, of a new relationship; so much depended on him being honest with her now.

  ‘I left because I thought I was doing the right thing for them,’ he told her flatly. ‘You were their natural child, it was plain that the two of us could never live in harmony. After you…after your accident, I knew it couldn’t go on any longer. So I left…’

  ‘For their sakes?’

  He made no response, but Heather knew it was the truth. It was what she had known all along, and she felt the tension ease out of her in the knowledge that he now respected her enough to feel that he could speak the truth. They could never be close in a fraternal way, but for the sake of two people whom they both loved perhaps it would be possible for them to make a new beginning, Heather thought, exploring the idea cautiously.

  And then he went and spoiled it all by saying carelessly, ‘Oh, and if you’re worrying about your own job, you needn’t. You’ll be taking charge of the new Bennett Enterprises window-dressing operation.’

  Heather opened her mouth and found that her voice had completely deserted her. When it came, it sounded harsh and hurt her throat. ‘I don’t want or need your charity, Kyle,’ she stormed at him. ‘I can find my own job.’