Abel 2: Hearts in Chaos

by CJ Bishop

  Devlin's eyes jerked back to Cole's face. “I'll do what I have to do.”

  Rubbing his eyes, Cole shook his head again. “Abel doesn't want to see you right now.”

  “Why?” he felt like a broken record, asking the same fucking questions over and over, yet receiving nothing in return.

  “Devlin...”

  “No.” his teeth clenched as his jaw tightened with emotion. “No, Cole...you fucking point me in his direction or tell me why the fuck I can't talk to him. I am sick of this bullshit. If I did something wrong, then you fucking tell me.”

  The man's hands clamped to his hips, his troubled eyes drifting to the floor. “Devlin...it isn't that easy.” he whispered tightly. “I can't tell you.” he lifted his eyes. “And Abel won't.” he swallowed thick, anguish seeping into his gaze. “I like you, doc. I do. And I know your intentions are good. I'm not trying to keep you away from Abel because I think you're just bullshitting him or using him. It isn't anything like that. But,” he licked his lips, a slight gloss to his eyes.

  “Please just trust me when I say—Abel has good cause for not telling you everything. And in all honesty...you don't want to know.”

  Devlin shook his head, throat knotting. “I do.” he said thickly. “I need to know so I...so I can fix it.”

  “That's just it, doc.” Cole murmured. “This can't be fixed.”

  “God dammit, Cole!” Devlin choked. “Stop talking to me in fucking riddles!”

  The man rubbed his mouth, the sheen in his eyes thickening. “Devlin...you have to let it go.” his lips tightened as emotion squeezed his face, sympathy resonating forth. “You have to let Abel go.”

  What?! Devlin's heart crashed inside his chest. Was he serious? Just walk away without a fucking word? Not even allowed to know why he was abandoning the best thing that ever happened to him? Bullshit!

  “No.” the tears were there and rushing down his face. “No, Cole! I won't! Not like this! I want to see him—Now!”

  * * * *

  Just go away. Please go away.

  Abel gripped his hair, back pressed hard against the inside wall of the alcove that led up to the VIP room. He could see Devlin, hear him insisting on talking to him. The man wouldn't be dissuaded. Abel inched further back in the shadows and hugged his waist, half bent over, praying to a God who hated him to please make the man leave. But true to form—God wasn't on his side.

  Cole appeared in the doorway. How he knew Abel was right there, he had no clue. The man seemed to have a sixth sense at times. “You have to tell him something.” Cole said. “He isn't going to leave until you do.”

  “I can't.” Abel choked.

  “I didn't say you had to tell him the truth.” Cole explained. “Lie to him if necessary. But tell him something that will send him on his way...and keep him away.” He touched Abel's shoulder. “If that's what you want.”

  It wasn't what he wanted. Not really. Every second away from Devlin was like a red hot spike being driven through his heart. The man consumed him. “Can't you...just make him leave...please?”

  “He won't listen to me.” Cole said quietly. “He needs to hear it from you...whatever you choose to tell him.”

  “Cole...” Abel choked on a sob. “I can't see him. I can't look in his eyes, knowing the truth. I will never tell him.”

  “I understand.” Cole nodded slowly. “The risk is too great.”

  Abel shook his head, crying softly. “It isn't because...I'm scared of prison.” he raised his head and looked at Cole. “His brother was...everything to him. The man is...dead...he can't hurt anyone anymore. But if I tell Devlin...he will lose him all over again...and I know...” Abel ducked his head and cried as Cole slid his arm around his shoulder. “I know that...it would hurt him so much more to lose his brother like that...than it would be to lose...me. As much as I hated Craig...I won't do that to Devlin. It isn't his fault his brother was the way he was. Why should he have to suffer too?”

  Pulling Abel into his arms, Cole hugged him tight and kissed his hair. “You really are an angel, you know that, baby?” he whispered thickly. “But don't be too quick to think that his loss of you will be any less, or the pain any easier to bear. The man is desperately in love with you.” he kissed his hair again and let his lips linger. “As you are with him.”

  Abel trembled at the truth in Cole's words. He was in love with the man...which turned out to be just more evidence of God's cruel, twisted humor. Let’s see how many daggers we can stab into the little faggot's heart before it just stops beating.

  * * * *

  Devlin sat at the bar, head in his hands, eyes closed. He felt Gabe's eyes on him but didn't speak to the man. All the questions were pointless; neither Gabe nor Cole would tell him a fucking thing. Or couldn't tell him—not without Abel's permission. They were loyal to a fault to that boy. Which he found admirable—if not frustrating as hell.

  When a hand dropped on his shoulder, he jumped, his head jerking up. Cole stood beside him. Devlin looked past him quick but saw no signs of Abel. His heart sank and he wanted to just drop to the floor and curl into a ball, and cry himself into oblivion. Not a vision of composure and strength, but so true to how he felt at that moment.

  “He's waiting in the VIP room.” Cole said and Devlin's heart jumped. He started to slide off the stool when Cole stopped him. “He isn't waiting there to work this out.” he told him. “You let him say what he has to say, and...when he asks you to leave...you leave.”

  Devlin just stared at him. The man's words should have had a crushing force, but all he could focus on was the reality that he would see Abel, talk to him. As far as what would actually be said—he would deal with those semantics when the time came.

  Right now...he just needed to see his beautiful angel.

  Chapter Six

  Lost Soul

  This was a bad idea. Beyond bad—monumentally horrible. What had he been thinking?

  When the door opened and Devlin stepped through, Abel turned his back quickly. He couldn't look the man in the eyes as he shoved him out of his life. Maybe this was the lesser of the two evils—he would surely suffer so much more if he were told the truth—but he didn't know that. And in not knowing...this would crush him. As it was crushing Abel now.

  The man hesitated just inside the door. “Abel...”

  “Don't.” Abel whispered, his throat already tight, squeezing, asphyxiating his words. “Don't talk, just...listen.”

  “Okay.” The tiny note of hopefulness in Devlin's voice stabbed and ripped at Abel's heart. Despite everything Cole had surely told him, the man still held out hope that they could fix this and then be together.

  Why do you have to care so much? Abel fidgeted, his fingers playing absently with the stereo. He shouldn't have chosen to speak with him in here. Far too many recent memories to fuck up his thoughts. His ears followed the man as he walked across the room, keeping a fair distance from Abel. He didn't speak, but simply waited for Abel to start.

  To lie to the man was beyond his ability. But neither could he tell him the truth. He had to find a middle ground and make Devlin accept it. He cleared his throat as it clogged with tears. “I'm sorry.” he offered quietly. “For...running out on you. I want you to know that...what you offered me...” he bit his lip as tears rose up. “...it was more than anyone has ever tried to do for me...or Savannah. And it...it means everything to me that you would care that much...for either of us.”

  “Abel.” Devlin stepped towards him. “The offer still stands-”

  “No.” Abel held up a hand without facing the man, trying to breathe past the swelling in his throat. “Don't.”

  He could hear Devlin's frustrated breath rushing in and out of him, breaking slightly as his emotions swelled to the surface.

  “I can't...accept it.” Before Devlin could reply, he added quickly, “Please don't ask me why. I won't tell you. I...can't.” Warm tears broke loose and crept down his cheeks. “I just need you to know that...I don't hate yo
u. And...none of this is your fault. So please don't blame yourself. I need you to trust me enough to know that...” he squeezed his eyes shut, covering them with one hand, his body shaking. “That I would never...push you away without good cause. You were right...we were perfect.” his other hand covered his face and his head dropped as he cried. “But we're not anymore...and we can't ever be again.”

  Devlin was suddenly behind him, arms encircling him. He turned and clung to the man, unable to do anything else. Devlin's hands buried in his hair, gripping gently, his lips pressing to his head. “No, Abel.” he choked. “I won't accept that. I can't. You can't do this to me, baby. You can't just sweep into my life like this, turn my world upside down, steal my heart...make love to me the way you did...and then run away.” His body tightened as sobs pushed out of him with force. “That isn't fair, dammit!”

  “I'm sorry.” Abel cried, clutching his shirt, his face buried in his throat, breathing him in one last time. “I'm sorry.”

  “No, I don't want your fucking apology, Abel.” Devlin choked and pushed him back, gripping his face. “I just want you.”

  “Stop.” Abel squeezed his eyes tighter, refusing to look at the man. “Just stop...please!”

  “No!” Devlin cried openly, his hands shaking. “I love you, Abel! I don't how it happened so quickly or why it hit me so hard, but it did! And I'm not letting you go!”

  “You have to!” Abel pulled at his hands but the man wouldn't budge. “God dammit, Devlin! Just go! Leave me alone! I don't want you here!”

  Devlin pulled him against his body, holding him so tight he couldn't move. He clutched the back of Abel's head, kissing his hair. “You're lying, baby.” he choked. “Why are you lying to me? What is this all about? Just tell me and I promise...” he lifted his face and kissed his lips, choking on a sob. “I promise I'll understand. I will. I won't turn on you, I won't leave you. Just tell me, baby—please.”

  When Devlin kissed him again, Abel clutched at him in sheer desperation, their clothes coming off in a rush. Devlin had him in his arms, down on the soft carpet, shoving into him, stroking, thrusting, his lips never leaving Abel's mouth. They rolled over and Abel straddled him, fucking him urgently, eyes closed, not looking directly at Devlin, terrified of getting lost in that ocean of blue, certain he would drown there.

  The man grabbed his hips, moving him in rhythm with his own body, pushing up inside him, deeper, harder, faster. Abel clawed his arms and cried out, back arching as he rode his cock with desperation. “Uuhh!!” he choked on a cry of ecstasy and dropped down against the man, his face shoving into his neck. He grabbed salty skin and sucked hard, biting the delicious flesh, wrenching cries from Devlin as he rolled them over again and fucked the boy with reckless abandon.

  Abel clung to his slick, hot body, lips pressed against his shoulder, hard breaths puffing out of him as the man took him to heaven all over again—as he'd done the first time they'd met in this room. Can't we just stay in here forever? Never leave? He cried and clutched at him more desperately. I lied, baby! I don't want you to go! Please don't leave me! Please don't hate me!

  “Abel!” Devlin cried out sharp, his body tightening, straining. “Fuck! Baby!”

  A strangled cry tore up Abel's throat as the heat and friction of Devlin's body massaging Abel's cock between them pushed him over the edge. His fingers gouged the man's flesh and he came hard, screaming, arching, body writhing in sweet sexual agony as Devlin shoved into him hard and emptied himself with a sharp, loud cry. He clung to Abel, working out his orgasm until finally they were laying still, breath bursting from their fevered bodies. His fingers pushed through Abel's damp hair and he kissed him again.

  Shoving the man onto his back, Abel lay on top of him and opened his eyes, releasing a stream of warm tears. He stroked the man's face as he gazed into those midnight pools. His fingertips played across Devlin's damp brow then caressed down his temples and across his cheeks. I love you. I'll never stop. I wish...Abel halted his thoughts and shut them off. Wishes were for those God cared for. Not for the ones he had forsaken.

  * * * *

  Abel's lips touched the warm, damp skin between Devlin's eyes then rested his brow against the man's head. “You have to go now.” his voice shook as the words fell from his trembling lips. He pushed up off Devlin, warm tears dripping from his face, landing gently on Devlin's chest. “You can't...come back.”

  “Abel…no…” Devlin reached for the boy but he was already out of his reach...in every sense of the word. He crawled to his feet and dressed, hands shaking, body growing numb. Abel pulled on his clothes, eyes blank, excreting tears in a steady flow. Devlin went to him but he drew away.

  “I need you...to leave.” Abel cried softly. “You have to...forget about me.”

  “I can't do that.” Devlin choked. “How can you even ask that...after we just made love?”

  Shaking his head, Abel broke from his stance and walked towards the door. “You're not welcome in the club anymore.” Abel choked on a sob and opened the door. “Don't come here anymore.”

  Stop him! Don't let him walk away! But Devlin couldn't move, couldn't speak, as the boy slipped out the door and was gone.

  * * * *

  “Abel?” Cole caught up to him as he moved quickly towards the club entrance. Abel didn't slow, didn't acknowledge the man until he grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Abel, where are you going? Are you...okay?”

  Abel just stared at him, eyes swimming. “Fan-fucking-tastic.” he told him bitterly, “Can't you tell?”

  “Abel...” Cole tightened his grip when Abel tried to pull away. “Where are you going?”

  He could feel the emptiness in his own eyes as he stared at Cole dully. “Where else...to hell.” He jerked his arm loose and walked out, dragging his cell phone from his pocket and calling a cab.

  When he reached his destination, the door opened on the second knock. Abel stared at the man, forcing down his emotions, not willing to let him see how weak he was at that moment.

  “Abel.” Horatio Kaplan raised a slow eyebrow. “I wasn't expecting you till morning.”

  “Can we leave tonight?” Abel whispered, voice thick. So much for hiding his emotions. Tears glossed and blurred his vision.

  Kaplan stepped back and Abel entered the penthouse. This time when the door closed behind him, he didn't feel trapped inside. But rather that the world—was trapped outside.

  And that's how he preferred it.

  “We can leave tonight.” Kaplan watched him curiously. He walked to a small bar in the corner. “A drink first?”

  Abel stared at him, then approached the bar. “Yeah.”

  “What's your poison?”

  Life. “Whatever.” Abel whispered dully, his eyes locked on Kaplan. The man poured their drinks then came around the end of the bar and handed Abel the small glass. He looked at it a moment—if only it were real poison—then drank it down in one shot.

  Kaplan smiled. “Easy.” he murmured. “The finest things in life...” he touched the back of his fingers to Abel's face. “...are meant to be savored.”

  His heart pounding, feeling everything good in him drain away, Abel covered Kaplan's hand and moved it down to his crotch, massaging the man's palm against his cock. “So you're saying...you don't want a wild fuck on top of the bar?”

  Kaplan's lips twisted slowly. “A little uninhibited indulgence can be good for the soul...now and then.”

  Who in this room has a soul?

  Chapter Seven

  All Out Of Love

  The sound of Cole's voice halted Devlin as he went to push open the door to Savannah's room. He hesitated, a slight shake developing in his gut. Abel wasn't in there, he could feel his absence...like a huge, empty black hole.

  “Where is Abel?” Savannah asked the man, worry straining her words. Devlin lowered his eyes to the floor and gazed blankly, hand resting against the door, holding it open just an inch or so. It was because of him that Abel wasn't here.

  �
��He had something to do this weekend.” Cole told the girl. “But he said to tell you he promised he would be here to visit you first thing Monday morning.”

  Silence settled over the room momentarily, then Savannah's soft, unsteady voice, “Is Abel okay?”

  A slight hesitation before Cole answered, “Of course. Why would you think he wasn't?”

  Devlin knew that tone of voice...the one a person used when nothing was okay but you couldn't tell it that way. Abel wasn't close to being okay.

  Rather than answering his question, she asked another, “Did he get the picture?” she asked softly. “The one of him and Dr. Grant?”

  Devlin tensed. The photos he'd printed off for her—she had given that one to Abel? His eyes stung and heart swelled with love and adoration for the girl. She wanted this—even if Abel didn't. He does. You know he does, but...