Word of Honor

by Terri Blackstock

  “They’ll put me in jail,” he said. “Maybe Angola again. Are you sure you can stand to go through that?”

  “Yes! At least I’ll know where you are. At least there’s hope.”

  “Hope,” he repeated. “I don’t know if there is any hope.”

  “Of course there is. There’s always a chance, if you’re here to fight. Jerry, I’ll fight with you.”

  “I fought last time.”

  “I wasn’t there last time. You were fighting alone.”

  Jerry seemed moved by that, and he stood back up and reached for her. She reached up to touch his face as their eyes met, and Jill held her breath, certain that he was about to acquiesce and let her go.

  When he seemed to struggle with an answer, Jill decided to speak. “I told him I’m a lawyer, that I would represent him.”

  Debbie’s eyes widened as they turned to her. “Really? See, Jerry? Look how much influence she would have, if she was the hostage you were charged with taking, and she wound up representing you! Jerry, don’t you see how much help she could be?”

  He looked at Jill, as if assessing her for honesty. She looked away.

  “Jerry, I’ve never asked you for much,” Debbie cried. “But I’m asking you now. If you love me…if you’ve ever loved me…if you love the children…I need you…we need you…to let her go and walk out there without that gun.”

  Jill began to pray silently as Jerry gazed down at his wife.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Outside, the lightning bolting angrily in the sky mirrored the energy coursing through Dan’s soul. He could hardly breathe as he waited in the rain for something to happen. Moments passed, and he began pacing, never taking his eyes from the door. Overcome with emotion, he prayed silently for Jerry Ingalls, that he’d have a change of heart and mind and let Jill go, that Debbie would have enough influence over him, that Jill would remain unharmed…

  Suddenly, the door opened, just a crack, then a little more, and Dan froze as a crack of thunder heralded the change. Officers all around the parking lot ducked behind the barricades of their cars and aimed their weapons. Headlights lit up the door, and they all waited. Then the storm grew silent for a moment.

  Then Jill appeared, holding the rifle over her head.

  “It’s Jill!” Stan shouted. “Hold your fire!”

  She broke into a run and headed toward them. Dan paid no regard to the guns aimed at her and took off between the cars to meet her. It wasn’t until she was well past the headlights that she was able to see him, but she bolted into his arms and clung to him with all her might. Someone grabbed the rifle from her hands, and police officers surrounded her and pulled them out of harm’s way.

  “Where’re the Ingalls?” Stan asked, keeping his eyes on the door.

  “They’re coming,” Jill yelled. “They’re unarmed. Don’t shoot them.”

  They held their fire as the door opened again, and Jerry Ingalls came out with one arm around his wife and the other high in the air. Both of Debbie’s arms were around him.

  Slowly, they walked toward the police, one step at a time, as if they each expected to be gunned down at any second. When they were sure they weren’t armed, the cops ran forward, pulled Debbie away, and threw Jerry down on the ground. Debbie began to scream that they were hurting him.

  Suddenly, half of the reporters were shining their cameras on the scuffle, and the other half surrounded Jill.

  “Miss Clark, are you all right?”

  “Did he hurt you in any way?”

  “What made him release you?”

  She pulled away from Dan and stepped back as the rain drenched her. “No, he didn’t hurt me. He let me go because his wife convinced him to.”

  “Why did he take you hostage?”

  “Because he claims he’s innocent of the post office bombing. He panicked when the police came.”

  She heard Debbie Ingalls sobbing hysterically, and looked back at her over her shoulder. “Wait! Stop!” Debbie screamed. “He has a lawyer! She’s going to represent him! Jill Clark is my husband’s lawyer!”

  One of the agents pulled Jerry to his feet and began to drag him toward his car. Stan approached Jill. “That true, Jill?”

  Dan let her go and stared down at her, and she was overcome with the sense that everyone here was looking at her, waiting for an answer. Even Jerry and his wife. A million conflicting emotions raged through her. “I…I don’t know what she’s talking about,” she said.

  Debbie heard that and began to wail even more loudly, and Jerry looked at her with an anguished, betrayed expression. She put her back to them and looked up at Dan. “Will you drive me home?”

  “I came with Stan,” Dan said. “Besides, they’ll want to take you back to the station. You’ll have to give them a statement.”

  “I…I will,” she said. “Just…drive my car. I just need some quiet. Just a few minutes.”

  “But they want to examine you, make sure you aren’t hurt.”

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Please, Dan. Get them to let me leave. I want to get out of here.”

  Dan secured permission to drive Jill alone in her car as two Newpointe squad cars escorted them back. She sat shivering in the air conditioning as her wet clothes clung to her skin.

  Dan was quiet, and Jill got lost in her own thoughts. Why did she feel like a traitor? She had made a promise to Jerry and his wife, after all, but did a promise made under duress have to be kept?

  She leaned her head back on the seat, breathing in the stream of cold air coming in from the air conditioner vents. “Jill, do you want the air conditioner off? You’re shivering.”

  She shook her head. “No. It’s been like a steam bath.”

  “But you’re wet. You’ll get sick.”

  She turned the vent away from her. “I’ll be fine.” She saw the concerned way he looked at her, and knew what must be going through his mind. “Really, Dan, he didn’t touch me.”

  “Then why are you so quiet?”

  She shook her head. “I was just thinking. He swears he’s not guilty, wanted me to represent him.”

  “That would be a little crazy, if you ask me.”

  “Yeah, I think so, too. But I kind of had to make a promise to get out of there.”

  “Is that why he let you out?”

  “One of the reasons.” She thought back over the conversation with Debbie, her promise to help him, his final agreement to do as his wife had asked. “Maybe I should represent him, since I said I would. But what if he’s guilty?”

  “I guarantee you he wouldn’t be holed up in a motel with a gun and a hostage if he wasn’t. Any idea what his motive was?”

  “I couldn’t say. But he seemed concerned about the people who were killed, and Pete Hampton…”

  “So he’s a killer with a heart?”

  Jill stared at the rain-splattered windshield. Steam rose up like a fog from the road in front of them. “Something like that.”

  “At least he didn’t pull that trigger. When I heard that gun go off, I thought my heart was gonna explode through my chest.”

  She regarded his wet clothes and the pained expression on his face. It suddenly occurred to her that he wasn’t supposed to have been there. This wasn’t Newpointe, where firefighters were called to every emergency. “Dan, why were you there?”

  He didn’t answer for a moment, just drove into the night, across the long, lonely bridge over Lake Pontchartrain. “When I heard what happened on the telephone, there was no way I could just stay put. I had to find out what was going on.”

  “Yeah, I guess that was pretty scary,” she said.

  “Shook me up real bad.”

  “I guess anybody I had on the phone would have felt the same way.”

  “Maybe,” he said.

  Again, there was deafening silence between them, as Dan seemed to struggle with his words. “I was praying while I was out there,” he said. “I was about to jump out of my skin. I just knew you were gonna get killed
by that maniac. I just knew I was never gonna see you again.”

  She thought of asking him why that would have impacted him at all, since she rarely saw him now. But fatigue was coloring her perceptions and her thoughts, and it wasn’t a good time to get into them.

  “I made some bargains with God when I was waiting in the parking lot.”

  “Bargains?” she asked. “What kind of bargains?”

  “Well, the most obvious kind, I guess.” He seemed to be battling with the feelings he was trying to express.

  “And what might those be?” she asked.

  “I just started to realize that I’d missed you,” he said, and glanced over at her. “And I told God that if you walked out of there alive, unharmed, I would quit second-guessing my feelings for you.”

  She gaped at him. “You have feelings for me?” It was asked almost sarcastically, and she hated herself for it.

  He looked at her across the darkness. “Jill, you know I do.”

  “I thought you did,” she said. “But they sort of fizzled out, didn’t they?”

  “Not for me.” He looked at the road in front of him again. The windshield wipers stroked back and forth, back and forth across the window. “I told God that I’d quit trying to find ways out of our relationship. That I’d try to resume things with you.”

  The dread implied in that made her angry. “And what did God say to that?”

  “He brought you out alive and unharmed.”

  She laughed bitterly. “So now you’re obligated? Is that it?”

  She could see that her levity bothered him. He shot her a puzzled look.

  “Don’t worry about it, Dan,” she said, looking out her window again. “Don’t you remember? A promise made under duress isn’t binding.”

  “I mean for it to be binding,” Dan said.

  She shook her head and her smile faded. “Well, excuse me, but it takes two to tango, and I don’t think I’m interested.”

  She knew his thoughts gravitated back to the way she had run into his arms and clung to him.

  “It’s been months,” Jill said. “I had feelings for you before, but…well, I’ve had to move on with my life.”

  “You’re not seeing anyone else,” Dan said. “I’d know if you were.”

  She shook her head, unable to believe they were having this conversation. “It doesn’t make any difference, Dan. I’m letting you off the hook. You don’t have to resume things with me. I’m sure God won’t hold you to it if I don’t cooperate.”

  Again, Dan grew silent as they drove along, and Jill felt tears rushing to her eyes. She hadn’t cried at all since she’d been held hostage. In the room fearing for her life, she’d been able to control her emotions. Now, suddenly, when her body was safe but her heart was threatened, the tears crept up on her, making it impossible for her to push them away. She began to cry, quiet tears at first, then deep, hard sobs that came straight from her heart and soul and seemed to have no place to go. After a moment, she felt Dan’s hand on her shoulder.

  She was too weak to resist as he pulled her head against him. His shirt was soaked—but it didn’t bother her as she wept against his neck.

  “Jill, you don’t have to be a tough guy,” he whispered as he drove. “I know it’s upsetting being roughed up by some crazy guy who takes you hostage. No one expects your frame of mind to be level and unemotional right now.”

  She wanted to yell that she wasn’t crying just because of Jerry Ingalls and being held hostage, that she was crying for Dan and for eight months of wasted days and nights.

  But she couldn’t say any of that. Slowly, she sat back up and wiped the tears from her face. “It’s been a long day.”

  “It’s about to get longer. When we get to the police station, they’re gonna want to question you for hours.”

  “I can handle that,” she said. “As long as it’s dry and they have the air conditioner on. Maybe some dry clothes.”

  “If you’ll give me your keys, I’ll go to your house and get you some.”

  She shook her head. “Frankly, I’d rather stay in these than have you see the condition of my house right now. It’s kind of a mess.”

  “Okay, then. I could call Allie and ask her to go. Or I could just run to my house and change, and get you something of mine to wear.”

  “Okay,” she said.

  “Which thing?”

  She was too drained to make a decision. “I don’t know. I’ll decide before we get there.”

  “You know, you don’t have to be embarrassed if your house is a little messy. You’re a busy lady. I wouldn’t think less of you.”

  She didn’t answer. He reached across the seat to take her hand, laced his fingers through hers. She wondered why that mere touch meant so much…why that hug moments earlier had melted her heart…why his arms around her when she ran from the motel room had felt like heaven itself.

  “So when were you the most afraid?” he asked.

  She thought that over for a moment. “When I heard him set a deadline for killing me.”

  He swallowed and squeezed her hand. His eyes grew misty as he said, “Yeah, me too. Did you think he would?”

  “He didn’t seem to be the type,” she said. “But I couldn’t be sure. I don’t know his mental condition, his ups and downs. I couldn’t predict his behavior.”

  “Did he seem crazy?”

  “Not really,” she said. “He seemed like a very scared man who’d been accused of something he hadn’t done. He just happened to be waving a gun in my face.”

  As they reached the outskirts of Newpointe, Dan glanced in the rearview mirror. “Some of the TV vans are following us,” he said. “They’ll want to interview you.”

  “I’m exhausted,” she said quietly. “Telling the police all that happened is about all I can handle, and I still have to go back to Chalmette tomorrow and take more depositions for the case I’m working on.”

  “Jill, can’t you take the day off in light of what’s happened?”

  “No, I can’t. I have too much work.”

  He grew quiet. She knew her commitment to her work was one of the reasons things had cooled between them. Her heart sank further as any hope flew away like a carelessly blown dandelion puff. As they reached Jacquard Street, the main drag through town, Jill realized they were near the post office.

  “Would you take a detour?” she asked. “Before we go to the police station, I want to see the post office.”

  “Sure, we can do that.” He passed Purchase Street, where the fire and police stations were, cut through Second Street and LaSalle Boulevard, and reached Bonaparte. As they approached, they saw other cars parked along the curb, along with media vans. Lights from the reporters’ spotlights illuminated the devastation, and Jill found herself unable to breathe.

  “Pretty bad, huh?”

  She felt the blood draining from her face. “They never had a chance. What was he trying to do? Blow up the whole block?”

  “The windows were blown out across the street, but thankfully, there aren’t many other properties around here. We had a tough time putting out the fire. It took hours. You think it was hot in that motel. I thought my coat was gonna melt right off of me. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  She looked back at the devastated structure. People had placed flowers around the crime scene tape that kept them away from the building. Already, a pile had formed.

  “Where…where was Pete found?”

  He pointed to the corner of the parking lot. “Over there, where they’ve piled all those teddy bears.”

  The sight of the stuffed animals assaulted her heart, and she covered her face with both hands. “The man who was holding me…really did this?”

  “That’s what they think.”

  “But…it seems so impossible.”

  He stopped the car and let it idle for a moment. “Do you want to get out?” he asked.

  “No. Let’s just go to the station. If he did it, they need to book him. We don�
��t need any delays.”

  “You want me to fight the media off of you?”

  She looked out the back window and saw that they were still being followed. “That’s okay. I’ll just make a quick statement. Don’t you have to get back to work?”

  “I’ve probably been fired by now,” he said, chuckling lightly. “I think Ray’ll understand, though.”

  “I appreciate your coming, Dan.”

  “I appreciate you not getting yourself killed.” He squeezed her hand again. This time, she squeezed back.

  They reached Purchase Street and the Newpointe Police Department, and he pulled her car to the curb. “I’ll walk you in.”

  Already the police cars were parking in front of and behind them, and she knew she would have no shortage of escorts. “It’s okay, Dan. I can take it from here.”

  He leaned over and pulled her into a hug. She breathed in the scent of him—rain and soap and the slightest scent of smoke. The stubble on his jaw brushed her face, reminding her of other times…She hated to think how much she’d missed him over the past eight months…and how much she would miss him tonight, when she felt so shaken and alone.

  “So what about the clothes?” he asked as their foreheads touched.

  “I’ll call Allie when I get inside,” she said. “She probably needs to hear from me, anyway, if she’s heard about this.”

  “All right.” He touched her face and looked at her with adoring eyes that made her want to cry again. “You take care now. Call me if you need me, anytime night or day.”

  “I will, thanks.” It seemed like such a cold, awkward response, but she couldn’t manage more. He helped her out of the car, and Sid came to her side.

  “You okay, hun?”

  “I’m fine, Sid.”

  “We need you to come in and make a statement.”

  “I plan to.”

  As the reporters got out, microphones in hands and cameras on their heels, she was blocked from hurrying up the steps. She paused and watched Dan cut across the lawn before she began to answer their questions.

  Chapter Eighteen