My Nerdy Valentine

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  "Those two things weren't written by the same person," he said.

  "I'm not so sure." She leaned her arms on the table and scrutinized his sample and her name on the envelope.

  "Yes you are. Mine is in black ink, which is the only color I like to use. That other one's in blue. I write in caps. I've done that ever since I escaped from the handwriting Nazis in elementary school. This guy, and I'm assuming it's a guy, writes in both upper and lower case."

  She continued to stare at the two versions of her name. "The ink color and the upper and lower case could be on purpose, to fool me."

  Although he admired her dogged determination to prove that she didn't have a stalker, clinging to that hope was getting in her way. "Then I'll demonstrate how I have to force myself to print in upper and lower case. You'll see how awkward it is for me." Reaching inside his jacket, he took out a pen.

  "You could fake that, too."

  He sighed. 'Amanda, I think you're perceptive enough to be able to tell the difference if I'm doing it right in front of you."

  She shoved the stationery across the table with some reluctance. "I guess it can't hurt anything."

  'Thanks for giving me the chance to convince you." He leaned over the paper and concentrated on an unfamiliar way of writing. Twice he made a capital letter when he'd meant to write in lower case. He wrote both her name and the Your Secret Valentine signature that he thought was inside, although he wasn't about to open the card and double-check the wording.

  When he was finished, he glanced up. "Did that look natural to you?"

  She looked uncertain. "Not exactly, no."

  "Are you willing to believe maybe I'm not the one sending these?"

  "I'd like to compare your writing with the inside of the card."

  He should have known it wouldn't be that easy. She could imagine herself dealing with him, but being forced to believe she was being stalked was a whole other thing. "How are you going to do that?" he asked.

  "Not right here, obviously. Let me take them both into a bathroom stall." She pushed back her chair and stood. "If you're hungry, please go ahead and get something while I'm gone."

  "I'll wait. Listen, why not leave your coat and purse here?"

  She shook her head. "If I decide you didn't send this after all, I won't be staying."

  "That's when you should stay, so I can help you come up with a strategy."

  She hesitated. "I'll be back soon." Then she turned and walked toward the hallway that led to the restrooms.

  Frustrated with all this wasted time, he watched her go. But her stubbornness was an important part of her makeup and probably what had taken her this far. Without that stubborn streak, she wouldn't be the person who fascinated him so much.

  Settling back in his chair, he prepared to wait. The food smelled good, and if she'd just hurry up and agree that he was innocent, they could enjoy a decent meal together. They could spend it strategizing a way for her to uncloak this weirdo. After seeing the pop-out penis, William was convinced they were dealing with a nutcase.

  "I thought that was you sitting over here all by yourself! I have this fascinating article from the Wall Street Journal that I'm dying to discuss with you."

  With a sense of impending doom, he glanced up to see Gloria heading in his direction. Except she looked very different. She'd done something strange to her hair, and she was wearing glasses. Sure enough, a copy of the Wall Street Journal was tucked under her arm.

  For one wild moment he wondered if she was wacko enough to send these valentines to her assistant as a joke. The way things were going, anything was possible.

  Amanda sat on the toilet seat with the stall door closed and opened the pop-up card. Although it wasn't easy to ignore the wiggling penis, she did her best so that she could study the writing underneath it. Then she held up William's version of the same words.

  Deep down, she'd known what she'd find. William had not been sending the valentines. In a way she was relieved to discover she hadn't been such a terrible judge of character. She was embarrassed that she'd falsely accused him, though. He deserved a huge apology. First she'd refused to go to lunch with him and now this.

  Embarrassment wasn't the only emotion she was dealing with, either. Uneasiness, even a touch of fear, was edging out embarrassment. If William hadn't sent the valentines, then someone else had. Whoever would leave a pop-up penis card in her desk drawer was not the sort of person she cared to meet... ever.

  Tucking both the card and the folded stationery in her purse, she left the bathroom. She was so busy preparing her words of apology that she almost missed seeing Gloria sitting in her seat at the table. She and William both had food in front of them and the Wall Street Journal on the table between them. Fortunately, Gloria had her back to the hallway leading to the restrooms.

  William saw Amanda, though. He'd probably been watching for her. His gaze flicked up and flashed a warning before he returned to his conversation with Gloria. Her stomach rumbling with hunger, Amanda edged toward the front of the restaurant while keeping her attention on the table in the back.

  When she'd reached the door, she decided that she wasn't leaving without food. All she had to do was pretend to be coming in instead of going out and she could join William and Gloria for lunch. Yes, it would be a nauseating experience, but as famished as she was, she could handle it.

  At least she hoped so. Gloria was working her nerd schtick to the max. She kept adjusting her glasses and fooling with the pencil stuck in her bun. Every once in a while, she'd reach over and touch William's arm as if to help make a point.

  That touching ploy irritated Amanda more than a little. If anybody should be touching William, it was her, not Gloria. No, that was wrong. Amanda had no business touching him, either. She just didn't want Gloria doing it.

  Smiling broadly, she approached the table. "Hi, there, you two! May I join you for lunch?"

  William blinked, but to his credit he handled her move with admirable grace. "Sure thing. I'll get you a chair."

  Gloria wasn't quite so welcoming. "Considering your schedule, do you really have the time? I believe you have some client billing to take care of." Her tone clearly said, Don’t butt in.

  "I need to take the time. I didn't get breakfast and I've been surviving the day on a Starbucks muffin."

  "Well, in that case." Gloria didn't look very happy, but she wasn't enough of a witch to deny Amanda food if she was hungry. "William and I were just discussing an amazing article on the prime interest rate. I don't suppose you get a chance to read the Wall Street Journal." Her glance told Amanda she'd better pretend ignorance.

  "I don't read it much. Just happened to see it today, though, and I'd love to talk about the prime interest rate." Maybe she imagined it, but she could have sworn Gloria made a little snarling sound. Amanda sat in the chair William brought over and smiled at him. "Thanks."

  The smile seemed to take him by surprise, and he flushed just the slightest bit. "Anytime."

  That flush was very endearing. Now that she knew he wasn't her valentine stalker and he'd abandoned the hat with the earflaps, she was running out of reasons not to like him. And then there was the kiss, too brief yet full of potential.

  On top of that, her list of reasons to like him was growing exponentially. He'd handled her suspicions about him with good cheer. He was loyal to his friend. He was discriminating enough not to fall for Gloria's obvious come-ons.

  And then there was the matter of his thumbs, which were large and capable looking. Amanda wasn't the kind of shallow woman who insisted a man be huge in that department, but then again, all other factors being equal, it didn't hurt, either. And with Gloria constantly turning her thoughts to libido issues, Amanda admitted to being highly curious about the thumbs theory, especially after the previous night's liplock in the hallway.

  Or maybe this sudden obsession was only a function of being hungry. Food might satisfy the sexual curiosity she felt every time she looked at William. She hoped so,
because food was a lot less trouble.

  "If you'll excuse me, I'll get something to eat," she said.

  "Yes, do that," Gloria said. "And let the waitress know I need another cup of coffee."

  "I will." Amanda thought the order had been given to remind her of her place. Gloria was the one in charge here.

  Amanda couldn't deny it. She needed Gloria's blessing and good intern evaluation in order to graduate, and if that meant standing by while Gloria put the moves on William, she'd have to do exactly that. In the meantime, she'd love to hear William's opinion about the rise and fall of the prime rate. Someday she intended to have money to invest, and she'd worked too hard to fritter it away out of ignorance.

  But when she returned to the table with a turkey sandwich and a Caesar salad, she could see that rational discussion of the prime rate might not be possible. You could put nerd clothes on Gloria all day long, and she'd still be focused on her topic of choice.

  "So, in essence," Gloria said, "the prime rate expands due to external stimulation."

  Amanda glanced at William and choked back a laugh. He had a trapped-animal look.

  "I suppose that's accurate." He took a huge bite of his sandwich, as if eager to finish it and leave.

  "So then, as the prime thrusts upward, the economy experiences friction." Gloria toyed with a button on the bodice of her shirtwaist, slipping it back and forth through the buttonhole.

  Amanda didn't dare meet William's gaze or she'd lose it. "Interesting way of describing financial change," she said.

  "Yes, well, I'm trying to put the concepts into terms that I understand. So continuing along those lines, I'd guess the friction caused by the rising prime could be pleasurable for those who know how to respond." She pinned William with a hot stare. "Would you agree?"

  He nodded and took another big bite, chewing vigorously.

  Gloria leaned forward. "I never realized that economics could be so exciting." Her voice lowered to a soft purr. "Do you find it exciting, too?"

  William swallowed, coughed, and adjusted his tie. "I, uh, suppose I do." He glanced at Amanda as if looking for a lifeline. "By the way, I've had that turkey sandwich you ordered. It's really good. The Reuben is good, too, if you ever—"

  "William." Gloria drew out his name, accenting the yum at the end.

  With obvious reluctance, he brought his attention back to his client. "Yes, Gloria?"

  "I'm so open to an investment right now. Right this very minute. Can you manipulate my portfolio and make it happen?"

  "Uh, sure." He grabbed his coffee and drained the cup. "I need to get back to the office. Once I'm there, I'll take a look at your holdings and see what sort of liquidity you have and what sort of assets you have available." Then he squeezed his eyes shut. "What I meant to say is—"

  "I know exactly what you meant to say. And let me assure you that when I focus on that rising prime, I perceive my assets as extremely liquid and exceedingly available."

  "Right." He pushed back his chair and stood. Then he put some bills on the table for the tip. "I do have to leave. Enjoy the rest of your lunch."

  "Actually, I'm finished." Gloria stood and grabbed her mink coat off the back of her chair. "I'll walk back with you."

  Amanda hated to leave William to joust with Gloria by himself. "I should probably leave, too," she said.

  "Sit, sit," Gloria said. "Enjoy your salad and sandwich. You work too hard." She turned to William. "Shall we?"

  He hesitated as if he didn't dare answer such an open-ended invitation.

  Seeing how nervous he was about walking back to the office with Gloria, Amanda made up her mind. William had been a friend to her, and he deserved a friendly gesture in return.

  She quickly folded the remains of her sandwich into her napkin and got up. "I have tons to do at the office," she said. "I'm coming back with you."

  Gloria rolled her eyes. "I shouldn't be surprised. You're such a workaholic. Let's go, then."

  As Gloria headed out of the restaurant, William hung back. "Thanks," he murmured. "I owe you one."

  "Nah. We're even. And for the record, I know you're not the valentine guy."

  His shoulders dropped in obvious relief. "That's good, but we need to talk about who is."

  She shook her head. "Not your problem."

  "But—"

  "No, seriously. Now get moving, before she thinks something's going on between us."

  He looked her straight in the eye. "You know what? Something is." Then he turned and followed Gloria out of the restaurant.

  TWELVE

  Maybe he shouldn't have said that. William worried about his impulsive comment all the way back to the office. He walked along between the two women, with Gloria on one side chattering about dinner plans, which he deflected as best he could, and Amanda on the other side being very, very quiet.

  She'd looked shocked when he'd made that statement to her, but it was true, damn it. She might not want a boyfriend, and he wasn't elevating himself to that position, but she needed someone to help her figure this thing out with the valentine stalker. He was prepared to be that someone, and that fit, because he was the only person who had all the background, being the first suspect in the case.

  As he left both women at the door of Gloria's office, Gloria continued to badger him about going to dinner with her while Amanda unlocked the door and went inside. Any hope he'd had for another moment alone with Amanda was crushed as she walked into the office with a little wave of goodbye.

  "If you're not available for dinner tonight," Gloria said, "then I claim tomorrow night. I know this cozy little French bistro not far from my apartment. That way, after dinner we can go back to my place and relax."

  He didn't think any male could ever relax in Gloria's presence. "Gloria, I have to level with you."

  "By all means!"

  "I don't believe in dating clients, but—"

  "Then I'll go back to the old fart I was with before. See, problem solved." She beamed at him.

  "I was going to say, I can't afford to lose any clients at this stage in my career." Warmed by the heat in the hallway, he unbuttoned his overcoat.

  "And I enjoy giving you my business." She moistened her lips. "Couldn't you make an exception in my case?"

  "I'm afraid not."

  "I'm not asking you for a lifetime commitment. Strictly fun and games." She reached over and fingered the lapel of his coat. "You do know how to have fun, don't you, William?"

  Shit. If he gave her up as a client, she'd think he was doing it so he could go to bed with her. "You're putting me in an awkward position."

  "I'd love to put you in a comfortable position. A stimulating and enjoyable position. I know several."

  He sighed. There was no way he could win this one.

  "Oh, dear. I can see you have strong moral issues. I think we can get around those, eventually, but I'll have to give you a little more time. I'll stop pushing." She winked at him. "For now."

  "I appreciate that. I'll let you know later this afternoon what investments I recommend."

  "Will you be delivering those recommendations personally?"

  "I think a phone call is wiser"

  "But sometimes a person needs to be foolish. I could give you a really, really good time." Without warning she reached between the lapels of his coat and palmed his crotch.

  Muttering a curse, he leaped back.

  "It's such a shame to let that wonderful equipment go to waste, William." Smiling, she turned and walked through her office door.

  As he walked quickly to his own office, sweat trickled past the earpiece of his glasses. If he'd been more of a ladies' man in school, he might have the skills to handle this. Other guys, the more popular ones, had talked about aggressive women, but he'd never experienced one firsthand.

  He hadn't been the type that attracted them, apparently. Until now. To think he used to envy those Romeos who had girls swarming all over them. If this is how they'd felt, harassed and valued only for their
penises, then he didn't envy them anymore.

  Amanda talked Gloria into letting her go home early, but only after agreeing to finish the billing at home. But although Gloria saddled her with more work, she also made Amanda promise to take a vibrator with her and use it to relax. Perversely, she picked the red one, tucked it in her backpack and headed off to the bus stop. Whenever someone looked at her on the way home, she imagined they'd noticed the telltale outline of the vibrator inside her nylon backpack.

  But carrying home extra work and a vibrator so that she could duck out early was better than leaving on time and running the risk of meeting William on the way out. She couldn't forget the spark in his green eyes when he'd told her something was going on between them. The look he'd given her had made her knees wobble.

  Wobbly knees meant that he was right, and she needed to nip this attraction in the bud right now. The easiest tactic was avoiding any situation where she might run into him. Then, if she did encounter him, she would be polite but distant.

  Too bad Chicago seemed to be going bonkers over Valentine's Day, with every bit of lace and sentiment reminding her of William. No place was more bonkers than her floor of the apartment building. She ran the gauntlet of decorated doors and arrived at her own, which was now decorated with lace hearts and two almost-naked cupids, arrows at the ready.

  Before this year, Valentine's Day hadn't held any special significance other than the obvious emphasis on love. Her unwise yearning for William, added to the threat of a stalker who was sending her objectionable cards, made her wish all the hearts and cupids would disappear. She thought of taking down the ones on her door, but couldn't bring herself to do it. That would break Mavis's heart.

  And speaking of Mavis, here she came, right on schedule. She was wearing oven mitts and holding something with a foil top.

  "I saw you coming from the bus stop, but you're an hour early! Is everything okay?"

  "Just fine." Amanda unlocked her door and walked in. "Dr. Tredway let me leave at four today."