by Beth Burnett
“Bullshit,” I answer. “Studies have shown that vegetarians — especially vegans — are way healthier than meat eaters.”
“You can’t get enough protein without meat,” Lynne says.
Andy looks up. “You can. You just have to be more discerning in your food choices.”
Leah looks at Andy. “Sweetheart, has Davey finally converted you?”
“No, I try, but I still fall off the wagon occasionally.”
“I’ve been trying to convert her for years.” I shrug. “She comes most of the way, then stops.”
“Sort of your reaction to me trying to convert you,” Andy says, laughing.
Leah looks wistful. “I always wished that Davey would become a lesbian.”
“Mom!” I laugh. “People don’t become lesbians.”
“Don’t call me mom. And I know people don’t become lesbians, but sometimes they do have a late in life realization.”
Andy shakes her head. “I could be so lucky.”
“Speaking of which, Lynne, what’s the scoop?”
She grins, looking like a guilty child. “The scoop about what?”
“Come on,” I say. “Leah said you had a date last night.”
“A date?” Andy looks shocked and amused. “Can it be so?”
Lynne is still smiling. “I met her at work.”
Lynne works in an office, as a receptionist. She constantly talks about how she is wasting her life and she needs to get out, but I think she likes the nine-to-five thing.
Andy shakes her head. “Lynne, you know my motto … don’t get your…”
“Honey where you get your money,” Lynne and I both chime in.
“Well, it’s a good rule of thumb.”
“She isn’t technically a co-worker anyway,” Lynne says, looking sheepish.
“So who is she?” I asked. I’m intrigued. Lynne has been in a relationship for so long that I don’t ever remember having the first date playback with her before.
She clears her throat. “Um. She’s the UPS driver.”
Andy bellows with laughter. “The UPS driver! That’s so lesbian cliché.”
“I know, I know.” Lynne holds up her hands. “I can’t help it. She’s just so cute. And you know I love a butch in uniform.”
We’re all laughing. “Well, how was the date?”
“It was great. It was really great,” she says.
“And?” Leah wants more details.
“And that’s it.”
I search Lynne’s face. “Oh my God, you had sex with her!”
Lynne laughs. “Um, yes.”
I shriek. “I can’t believe it! Sex on the first date, you tramp!”
We all laugh hysterically. “Wait a minute,” Andy says. “I always have sex on the first date, what does that make me?”
“A stud,” Leah says.
Andy throws her head back and laughs deeply.
“Lynne, you won the bet,” I say, “but I don’t begrudge it. Good for you. Are you going to see her again?”
“Maybe. She’s younger than me, which freaks me out a little.”
“How much younger?” Andy asks.
“She’s twenty-five.”
“Twenty-five!” I’m shocked. “She’s a baby!”
“I know, I know.”
Leah shakes her head. “There’s nothing wrong with dating someone younger. I do it all of the time. Just have a good time.”
“Leah, you always tell me not to have sex on the first date. Why are you encouraging Lynne?”
“It’s different with women. Men can’t be trusted. You have to keep the upper hand.”
“Whatever. I like Danny. I think he’s trustworthy.”
“Are you going to have sex with him on the second date?” Andy asks.
“Not here, that’s for sure.”
Speaking of which, I glance at the clock. I can’t believe how long we’ve been sitting here. “Ladies, this has been great, but I need to get ready.”
“Go ahead,” Lynne says. “We’ll clean up.”
“No, no, I have time. How about I do the dishes, and you all go out somewhere?”
“Hell no,” my mother says. “We want to meet Mr. McDreamy.”
Lynne nods agreement. “Absolutely,” Lynne says. “We’ve heard enough about him.”
I look at Andy for help, but she’s leaning back in her chair, hands crossed behind her head. She’s not going anywhere.
“Fine, but could you all promise to please not embarrass me?”
They all start talking at once. “Of course not! We wouldn’t think of it!”
I sigh and head to the shower.
It’s almost two o’clock. To their credit, the living room looks great. Lynne’s clothes are stacked in neat piles, or hanging on the bar Andy installed along one wall. The chairs are all empty, except mine, on which, of course, Harry is sleeping. Leah has been on a domestic goddess kick, so there are new curtains and matching throw pillows. The place is actually starting to look pretty good. Of course, it would look better if Lynne’s shoes weren’t stuffed into all of my bookshelves and my bedroom wasn’t overflowing with my mother’s stuff, but it still looks pretty good. At least, good enough for the brief glance that Danny will get as I shove him out the door.
He’s here. I look around at the ladies. Leah is sitting on the couch, Lynne is in an armchair, and Andy is perched on the arm of Lynne’s chair, looking completely relaxed. I was watching them both throughout brunch, trying to determine if there was any sexual tension, but whatever flirting was going on during that one Thursday night drink fest seems to be over. Perhaps the young UPS driver was just what Lynne needed.
I open the door, smiling brightly, then recoil in shock. “Sarah?”
Lynne jumps up. “Sarah?”
We all stand there staring at each other for a moment, until Leah comes forward. “Sarah, you may not remember me, I’m Davey’s mother, Leah.”
Sarah wrests her eyes away from Lynne for a second. “It’s nice to meet you.”
I look at Sarah. She smells like beer. This is not going to be good.
“Please, do come in and have a seat,” Leah says, motioning towards the couch.
“I’m just here to talk to Lynne.”
Lynne is still frozen in place. Andy nudges the back of her leg with a toe.
“Sarah, what are you doing here?”
Sarah is still standing in the doorway. Danny taps on the open door and looks inside. “Hi, sorry. The door is open. I wasn’t sure…” He stops as we all turn to look at him soundlessly.
“I’m sorry,” he continues. “Perhaps this is a bad time.”
My legs finally unfreeze. “No, Danny. No. Not at all. We just have a surprise visitor. Lynne, why don’t you take Sarah into the kitchen?” I gently push at Sarah’s shoulder to get her out of the way. Taking Danny by the hand, I quickly say, “Danny, Lynne. Sarah. Andy. Leah.” I point them out as I call out their names. “Ladies, Danny. Okay, we’re out of here.”
Danny is laughing. “Leah, you are Davey’s mother, right?”
Leah steps forward and smiles coquettishly at Danny. “I am, darling. I have heard so much about you.”
Danny gently takes Leah’s hand and holds it in both of his for a moment. “I’m delighted to meet you, Leah.”
She smiles up at him. “Would you like to come in and have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine?”
“No, Leah, thanks,” I interrupt. “We’re going to go.”
Sarah is still standing there, looking confused. I give Lynne a look, then motion towards the kitchen with my head. Lynne finally takes the hint and leads Sarah into the other room. “Are you drunk?” I hear her hiss as they leave the room.
I turn to apologize to Danny, but Andy has now stood up and is shaking his hand. “I’m Andy.”
“Of course,” Danny says. “Davey’s best friend.”
“That’s right.” They eye each other for a moment. Andy resumes her perch on the arm of the chair. “So
what do you have planned for my girl today?”
My girl? I raise one eyebrow at Andy, but she is looking intently at Danny and doesn’t even glance my way.
Danny doesn’t flinch. “I thought we would go downtown and walk along the shops, go to a bookstore, then maybe hit a little cafe that serves vegan ice cream.”
Andy inclines her head slightly. “Sounds exciting.” There is not a hint of sarcasm in her voice, but I know her well enough.
“Come on, Danny. We should probably…” I cut off and Lynne and Sarah start yelling at each other from the kitchen. “How dare you show up here drunk?”
“Fuck you. I’ve been calling and calling and you refuse to answer!”
“So you feel the need to show up drunk?”
“Yeah, at least if I’m drunk, I don’t have to think about how miserable I am!”
“Oh, give me a break. That’s one more great way to blame me for your alcoholism. I’m fucking sick of it!”
Danny and I look at each other. Leah clears her throat. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Danny. Don’t get too full on ice cream, though, I’m making moussaka for dinner tonight.”
Sarah screams from the kitchen, “You’re willing to throw away a fifteen-year marriage for some one night stand?”
Leah yells back, “At least she thinks I’m fuckable!”
Danny raises his voice a bit. “What’s moussaka?” he asks.
“It’s eggplant, tomato, onions, zucchini and a tomato sauce, layered and baked. It’s quite good for you.”
“That sounds fantastic,” Danny smiles at my mother. I can tell she is totally charmed by him.
“Leah,” I say. “You can’t put butter in the bread crumbs.”
“I know, sweetie. I dated a vegan for a while. Armand. He had horrible taste in music, but he was fantastic in bed.”
Danny is chuckling softly. I smile at him and take his hand.
Lynne and Sarah are still screaming at each other from the kitchen so I pull Danny towards the door. Andy nods. “Nice meeting you.”
Danny smiles back. “You too, Andy.”
“I’ll see you at dinner tonight.”
Leah looks thrilled. “Oh, Andy, you’re staying for dinner. That’s wonderful. I’m going to call Sheila and invite her, too!”
The sex doctor. Great. I can feel a twitch starting in my right eye. I drag Danny by the hand and get halfway out the door before Leah speaks again.
“ Danny, I hope you can handle being the only man in a group of strong, independent women!”
“I think I can handle it,” he says dryly
I’m shaking my head as we walk to his car. I knew it was a bad idea for him to pick me up at home. He opens the door for me, and ushers me into the passenger seat. I don’t care if it means I’m not a feminist, I like a man who opens doors for me. I watch as he gets into the driver’s seat.
“Ford,” I say, in a deep voice. “A nice, solid American choice!”
“The Mustang is a classic,” he agrees.
“What is this, a 2000?”
Danny looks impressed. “She knows her cars!”
“Not really.” I decide to be honest. “My grandfather is a Ford man. He bought the 2000 when it came out. My grandmother wanted him to get a Taurus. To be fair, he looks pretty awesome driving it, even at almost eighty years old.”
Danny laughs. “Sounds like my kind of guy. Are both of your grandparents still alive?”
“They are. They live in a huge house on Lake Road.”
“That’s the house you grew up in?”
“Yeah. Leah was always taking off with on some adventure or another. She and my grandparents agreed that it would be best for me to stay with them when she wasn’t around.”
“Did you miss her?” He looks sincerely interested.
“I did and I didn’t. I liked living with my grandparents and, of course, Andy lived close by, so I wouldn’t have wanted to leave anyway.”
We merge onto the freeway, headed for downtown Cleveland. “You and Andy have been friends since childhood, you said.”
“Yes, we were seven when we met.”
“And you stayed friends throughout middle school, high school, college?”
“Yes, we never had that growing away from each other that many childhood friends have. Andy has been there for me through every event in my life, good and bad.”
Danny looks thoughtful. “It’s hard to compete with that.”
“There’s no competition. Andy is gay, I’m straight. But she is my best friend and my chosen family. You will have to get along with her if you want to date me.”
Danny smiles. “I’ll get along with her.”
I lean my head against the back of the seat. “Besides, I think you two will find you have a lot in common.”
“I’m sure.”
We ride along in silence for a while.
“Danny?”
He glances at me, smiles, and takes my hand. “Yes?”
“You mentioned that your mother died.”
“She died when I was ten.”
“I’m sorry. What was she like?”
“She was wonderful. Warm, loving. She believed in me, no matter what I wanted to do. If I had said I wanted to be an astronaut, she would have found a way to support me in that goal. She was truly an amazing person.”
“She sounds great. You must have been devastated.”
“I was. She was the kind of person who could grow anything. Flowers, vegetables, you name it. No matter what else happened, we always had something delicious and fresh to eat.”
“What did she do to support you after your dad left?”
“She was a painter. Not a great one, though I thought so at the time. A good one, though. She painted desert sunsets and up close shots of flowers. She painted me a couple of times.” He’s smiling fondly.
“I wish I could have met her.”
He laughs. “She would have loved you.”
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because you both have that incredible warmth, that desire to make things better for people. Like my mother, you have this ability to make me happier just by being in the same room with me. That’s a rare talent.”
“Hmm.” I pause. “And your dad?”
“He’s a dick.” He’s looking straight ahead, no hint of a smile now.
“Is that it?”
“They were divorced. He left when I was a baby and didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Mom never asked for child support, and she changed my last name to Walker, which was her maiden name. We lived alone in a tiny little house in New Mexico. We didn’t have a lot of money, but my mom always made it look great. The people in our town were all kind of strange. It was a community of free thinkers. I loved it there. Unfortunately, after my mom died, I was sent to live with my dad. He kind of had to take me in. By then he was married to someone else, she hated me, too.”
I stroke the back of his hand. “Where did they live?”
“Massachusetts.”
“Wow.” I look at his profile. “Danny, I’m sorry.”
Danny smiles at me. “It was a long time ago and I’ve gotten past it. It wasn’t like they were abusive. They just didn’t want a child and felt that life had forced me on them. It really upset their world for a while.”
“What did you do?”
“I found solace in my writing. I was a lonely kid — but then, a lot of us are. I didn’t know anyone in my new school, and I was different, so I didn’t make friends.”
“Yeah, kids suck.”
“Yeah. Anyway, I lived with them for eight years and as soon as I graduated from high school, I took off.”
“Where did you go from there?” I’m intrigued. I want to know everything about him.
“Everywhere. I started by driving back to New Mexico, but it wasn’t the same. And I really didn’t have a way to make money in that small town. So, I moved around a bit more. Then I started making a little money with my writing and I bought a ho
use in Seattle.”
“Seattle? Why?”
“I happened to be there when I decided to stop moving. I was dating a girl.”
I feel an irrational tug of jealousy towards the ex-girlfriend. “What happened to her?”
“She left me for a big, buff Ted the douche-bag type.”
“Get out.”
We’re in the heart of downtown now. I love that Danny is a capable driver. He pulls smoothly into a parallel parking space on the street.
“Hang on,” he says, then comes around to my side to open my door and give me a hand out.
“Danny.” I’m looking at him seriously.
“Yes,” he smiles down at me.
“If we start dating, you better keep opening doors for me.”
He looks taken aback. “We are dating.”
“I mean dating dating.”
“You mean like going steady dating?”
“Well, we aren’t teenagers, so I might not put it that way, but yeah.”
“I’m not dating anyone else.” He looks dead serious now.
“Well, neither am I, but Danny, really, this is only our second date.”
“I think it can be considered our third date, since I got to know a lot about you while you were trying to get to know the douche-bag with the bulging biceps.”
“That doesn’t count and you know it.”
“I guess that means you aren’t going to count the times I stalked you at Polly’s, either.”
I give him a look. “Danny.”
“I know. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything, but I like you a lot. More than I’ve liked anyone in a long time. And I want to keep going out with you and getting to know you.”
I start walking down the sidewalk towards the row of shops. “Tell me that again after dinner with my mother.”
“Tell me something.”
“Of course.”
“How did you get so involved in the gay community?”
“Ah, you mean because my two best friends are lesbians and I work in an LGBT care center?”
He laughs. “Pretty much.”
“Andy knew she was gay from a very young age and the other kids knew there was something different about her. Because she was my best friend, they were always accusing me of being gay, too. I don’t know if it was having Leah for a mother, or my love for Andy, but I never went through a phase where I thought there was something wrong with being gay. Maybe it is because I’m straight, but still had to deal with the homophobia. I didn’t have that inner voice telling me there might be something wrong with me. I just had the secure knowledge that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my best friend and I didn’t want anyone trying to tell her otherwise.”
