Lights to My Siren

by Lani Lynn Vale

  Hell, he didn’t even know that I was so broke I could barely afford the gas to get to his house on a weekly basis. I’d been scraping by ever since I’d purchased my house. I had a ton of student loan debt on top of having bills that came with owning my own home.

  Well, I could at least fix that part, couldn’t I? As of right now, I wouldn’t be driving to his house at all. Wouldn’t need to. Because I was done. Now I just had to figure a way to get out of this god-forsaken place and get back home.

  “Shiva, you’re up in five, you ready?” A voice called into the room beyond me.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. There, I could leave as soon as he did.

  “Yeah, I’ll be right out.” His deep voice rumbled.

  I heard it really well, which meant he was close to the bathroom door. Luckily, I’d locked it, because I just couldn’t face him right now.

  “Baylee, you all right? You need anything?” Sebastian called through the door.

  I snorted. “No, I’m peachy.”

  My response must’ve been muffled from the door, because he didn’t pick up on the extreme sarcasm I’d infused into that comment.

  “Okay, well I’m going to head out. Shiloh went to the locker room to see James. Do you remember how to get back to your seat?” He asked me.

  “Yes.” I clipped.

  “Okay.”

  He left after that, and I gave it another five minutes before I left the locked bathroom.

  To my relief, the office was empty when I made my way out.

  The papers that had recently been on his desk were gone, leaving only the gleaming top of the massive wooden desk in its wake.

  Had he put them up because I was in here alone?

  What did it even matter if he did?

  That’s right, it didn’t. If he’d wanted me to know, he would’ve told me a long time ago, wouldn’t he?

  The door opened across the room from her, and Tillie sauntered in, the skirt she’d been wearing before replaced by some spandex number that left even less to the imagination. It’d seemed impossible to me before, but now I knew it was, in fact, possible to be wearing less, with more on.

  “Sebastian sent me in here to show you to your seat.” she sneered.

  I smiled, sadly. He hadn’t wanted my in here by herself.

  “Actually, can you take me to Shiloh?” I asked sweetly.

  After giving me the once over, she turned and huffed her way out the door.

  I was about to follow her when the black hat that Sebastian always wore caught my eye, hanging on a peg right next to the door frame.

  On a whim, I pulled it off and stuffed it up the back of my sweatshirt, thankful that the garment hung loosely on me or I’d never have been able to pull it off.

  I had to hurry to catch up to Tillie’s bounding strides, and was nearly panting in exertion as I finally came to a stop at a room that was labeled ‘locker room.’

  “They’re in here.” She said, indicating the marked door before stomping away.

  Instead of entering, I knocked, and only had to wait two or so minutes for a very disheveled Shiloh to open the door.

  “Hey,” she said breathlessly.

  I smiled. Well, tried to, but I didn’t think I was very successful.

  “I need a ride to my car. Can you take me back to Sebastian’s place? Something came up.” I lied.

  Shiloh stood up straighter and nodded, pulling the door open all the way and stepping to one side. “Sure, I didn’t drive, but James’ll let me take you in his truck.”

  James was leaning against a padded bench with his arms crossed over his naked chest.

  He was wearing a sweaty pair of gray cotton shorts, and sweat was dripping down his body in rivulets.

  I really wasn’t in the right mind because the sight of the man leaning in front of me did absolutely nothing for me. Not even a twinge.

  “Is that all right, J?” Shiloh asked James.

  At his nod, she walked over to a bag in the corner of the room and pulled out a key ring with no less than thirty keys on it.

  I avoided eye contact with the very perceptive James, and moved slowly out the door so I didn’t have to answer the man’s questions that lingered in his eyes.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Shiloh asked as she joined me.

  I nodded but didn’t say anything.

  “Alright, well James parked in the back where the club parks. This way is easier.” she said, indicating a different direction than the one I was taking.

  I turned and started heading in the direction Shiloh had indicated.

  It was a much shorter way to go.

  Well, figures. Sebastian had dropped me off at the front door. She’d thought originally it was because he didn’t want me to walk far. But the back way, where Shiloh was leading me, was much shorter.

  Shiloh led me past a long line of bikes, Sebastian’s truck, and then even more trucks until she stopped at James’ truck and hit the locks.

  The lights flashed as the doors unlocked, and I climbed painfully into the truck, thankful that there was a step that came down when the doors opened and a handle for me to hold on to.

  “I’m sorry! I should’ve helped you. Do you need me to help with the seatbelt?” She asked in concern.

  “No, I got it. Thank you.” I said.

  The ride to Sebastian’s house was quick and silent, Shiloh sensing that I was not in the mood for chitchat

  I thanked her quietly as I slid from the truck, only jarring myself slightly when my feet met the uneven ground beneath me.

  Just as I was about to close the door, Shiloh stopped me with a statement. “He’s a good man, don’t give up on him.”

  I slammed the door a little harder than I’d meant to, annoyed that I’d been so transparent.

  Sebastian would know shortly that I was mad at him, but I didn’t care. I was beyond caring at this point.

  Shiloh left once the lights of my car flipped on, pulling out of the driveway in a spray of gravel and dirt.

  Starting my car and rolling down my windows to feel the cool night air on my face, I pulled out of my parking spot, thankful that I’d gotten out without Sebastian stopping me.

  It wasn’t until I was back on the interstate that it dawned on me that he might follow me home.

  Knowing that I couldn’t handle seeing him right now, I turned around and headed back to Shreveport. I’d stay in a hotel for the night. Hell, maybe I’d even gamble my last twenty dollars on the craps table.

  ‘Cause that was where my life was right now. In the crapper.

  Chapter 16

  It’s better to lose a lover than to love a loser, asshole, bastard, lying, son of a cock whore.

  -Life lesson

  Sebastian

  “What do you mean she’s not here? How’d she leave? Where’d she go?” I snarled at my men. The men that I’d assigned to watch her tonight, and help her anyway she needed it.

  Stupid fucking prospects.

  “Sir, she was with your sister. We didn’t think you’d want us to interfere.” Tunnel, the newest prospect, hedged.

  “Well you thought fucking wrong. Where exactly is my sister?” I snarled.

  The two men pointed in the direction of the bar, and I turned and stomped away without another word to the two useless human beings.

  “Where is she?” I asked as soon as I made it to within hearing distance.

  I was tired, aggravated, and needy. I wanted my woman in my arms, and I wanted her there now.

  Shiloh turned from the conversation she was having with their father and scowled at me. “Not that it’s any of your business, brother, but you fucking gutted her today. Why the hell didn’t she know you had an office? And why the hell did you not tell me that she didn’t know? I would’ve never brought her back there if I had known. You made me look like a shit. Why’d you have Mandy in your lap, anyway? That was just fucking stupid.”

  I was confused. “What are you talking about?”

  �
��You know, Mandy, the one that did your tape for your hands? Yeah, when Baylee saw that, her eyes told everyone that was looking at her how devastated she was. Why are you even talking to me?” She snarled.

  “Jesus Christ, Shiloh! It was the Warehouse’s trainer! What did you want me to do? I don’t know how to do tape!” I snarled right back.

  “Yeah, well she didn’t have to sit on your fucking lap!” She screeched.

  I threw my hands up in annoyance. She wasn’t sitting on my lap...was she?

  James, who’d been sitting quietly beside Shiloh, watching the family drama play out, turned and held up his hand for silence. “How about we go take a walk.” He suggested.

  Knowing I wouldn’t get anywhere with the craziness that is my sister, I agreed and walked with James down to my office.

  The office felt very empty all of a sudden, like something important was missing and I knew exactly what it was. Baylee.

  “I’m not going to tell you how to run your life, but I think you need to make a decision about letting Baylee in, or letting her go. You have two parts of yourself that you try to keep separate, and it’s not going to work for much longer. If you let her in to only half of your life, you’re going to lose her.” James said right before walking out.

  I walked to my desk and sat down heavily.

  My sweaty back stuck uncomfortably against the leather of my office chair, and I stared at my wall, wondering what the hell to do.

  I wouldn’t be telling her anything about the club without a few promises from her end first. My life was with my club, and it always would be. To let her in that part of my life, she’d have to be a permanent fixture. She’d have to want to be there, and to this day, she hadn’t made the effort.

  The more I sat here and thought about it, the more upset I became. Did she not want to know that part of my life? Hell, he’d share with her in a heartbeat; but club life wasn’t for everyone.

  With her father and brother being in law enforcement, she had a better idea than most civilians did when it came to what a motorcycle club was. She had to know they weren’t all angels.

  Then I noticed my hat was gone.

  Knowing what I had to do, I picked up my phone and made a call that could very well change my life.

  ***

  I ran my fingers over the fine stitching, looked up at Porter’s old lady and smiled. “You did good, pretty girl. It’s stunning. I really appreciate you staying up this late and getting it done for me.” I thanked her.

  Minnie blushed at the compliment before wrapping the work she’d done in tissue paper, and then placing it into a box. Her fingers worked nimbly as she tied a bow on it, and then used her scissors to do some fancy shit with the bow, making it twirl around and in on itself.

  “My girl is the shit. She always has been. Always will be.” Porter said approvingly.

  Minnie blushed even more, smiling wide at her old man.

  They’d been together for seventeen years now, and never once had I seen them fight. Minnie was the perfect woman. Strong. Intelligent. Giving. Supportive. Everything an old biker like Porter could ever need.

  Porter had exactly what I wanted. A woman that would be there for me through thick and thin. Who would forever be by my side.

  “Alright, I’ve got places to be. Thank you again.” I said, picking the box up and tucking it underneath my arm before heading to the door.

  “Bring her by to see us.” Porter ordered, as only one of the oldest members of The Dixie Wardens MC could do.

  I smiled over my shoulder and nodded my head in confirmation. “Will do.”

  Once I was at my bike, I stowed my package in my saddle bags and mounted the bike before pulling my phone from my pocket and making one more phone call.

  “Get anything?” I asked without a hello.

  “Yep. I’ll text you the address. She’s at the Horseshoe. Her credit card was used at the ATM. She withdrew twenty bucks. Nothing else since.” Kettle said.

  I thanked him and hung up.

  Twenty minutes later, I parked my bike in the garage parking, glared at a couple of kids that were eyeing my bike with appreciation, and walked into the casino.

  I nodded at the man shining shoes at the entrance, and again at the guard that was checking IDs at the door.

  I didn’t stop when a waitress offered me a beer, and kept circling the room until I spotted her in the very corner of the room at the craps table.

  Surprisingly, she had a stack of chips in front of her, and upon getting closer, I realized that she had nearly a thousand dollars in three stacks of chips.

  Jesus Christ.

  Baylee looked pitiful as she rolled. Her arms were resting on the edge of the table with one supporting her chin. The other hand was extended out in front of her as she threw the dice towards the far end of the table.

  She had on what she’d been wearing earlier, with my black hat pulled down low over her face, concealing her eyes not only from people from catching them, but also from her eyes connecting with anything except what was directly in front of her.

  She wasn’t able to see me approach, nor did she see me as I took up a spot beside her, squeezing in between an older woman wearing a moo-moo and her.

  At the displacement of air, Baylee’s body shifted away from me, trying her hardest not to touch me.

  Of course, she didn’t know it was me, but it still hurt to see her withdraw from me.

  After watching her roll unenthusiastically five more times, I moved closer to her, lifted my hand, and pushed the bill of my hat up off her head.

  When she turned to me, startled and fighting, I restrained the elbow she’d aimed at my gut easily and pulled her closer.

  Upon seeing me, she seemed to wilt, and sink into me. “I made a hasty decision.” She said sadly.

  “You and I have some talking to do. How much longer until you win?” I teased.

  Baylee shrugged, threw the dice the dealer maneuvered towards her, and crapped out.

  Aww’s and ohh’s filled the air as the chips were cleared from the table, and Baylee moved the stack of chips as close to her as she could before grabbing a hand full and jabbing them into my pockets.

  “You know, they make these little cups that you can put these in without stuffing them into pockets.” I said dryly.

  Baylee stuffed my pockets so full I looked like I could barely walk. Then took the single last stack into her hand and walked towards the exit.

  “Don’t you want to cash these out?” I asked worriedly.

  Baylee shook her head. “No, I was about to leave. I need to drive to the grocery store I passed on the way here. Like stat.”

  Deciding not to argue, I walked behind her, guiding her with a hand on her lower back as we maneuvered through the crowded boat.

  Once we reached the exit, I had to practically run to keep up with the pace Baylee was keeping. “Hey,” I said. “Where’s the fire?”

  She didn’t stop until she reached her car, tossed me her keys, and then snapped her fingers at me when I looked at her with a bewildered expression.

  Sighing, I dropped into her piece of shit Cutlass, started it up, and puttered out of the parking lot. Just with driving it for three minutes, I knew that the timing was off, it would need brakes soon, and I was fairly sure that the car’s transmission was about to go out.

  “Turn in here. Hurry.” She said somewhat desperately.

  Growing more and more concerned by the minute, I parked, and had to run to catch up to her as she threw the door open and jogged to the front doors of the Dollar Store I pulled into.

  Just as she reached the first aisle, she looked up frantically, found the aisle she was looking for, and jogged toward it.

  I didn’t know what exactly I was expecting, but to find her frantically grabbing boxes of tampons wasn’t even in the equation.

  She tossed me two boxes which I caught awkwardly, only bobbling them twice, and gathered them against my chest as Baylee ripped into a box, pulled two out,
tossed me the opened box saying, “Pay for these,’ as she ran towards the back of the store.

  I no longer needed to know what was wrong. I could guess.

  When I made it to the register and saw the young girl there, I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as she slowly checked the three boxes of feminine products out. She didn’t look at me, and I didn’t look at her.

  Instead, I studied the wall of candy that was laid out on the opposite side of the conveyor belt.

  With just a few more seconds of contemplation, I grabbed one of each chocolate candy bar on the first three shelves and placed them on the belt without a word.

  I heard the rowdy boys get in line behind me, but I didn’t acknowledge them until one of them decided to open their mouth.

  “Jesus, are you expecting a flood?”

  I turned and gave cold eyes to the boy closest to me.

  He was all of sixteen, at most, all lanky bones and styled hair.

  His collar was pulled up on its end, coming to a stop right below his ears.

  His pants hung low with a chain going from his wallet to his outer belt loop.

  And his shoes. Well, don’t even get me started on the shoes.

  They were just plain hideous.

  The boy stepped back when my cold eyes met his, and held up his hands in apology. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  I snorted and turned my head back to the total as the woman rang it up.

  Thirty-seven dollars, three boxes of tampons, and seventeen candy bars later, I was standing by the front door with my arms crossed against my chest watching as Baylee slowly made her way to the front of the store.

  The ache in her ribs a lot more evident now that she had the problem temporarily fixed.

  Not one hint of embarrassment shown on her face, though. In fact, she looked somewhat pleased, if what I read on her face was correct.

  That surprised me since I vividly remembered my sister getting her period while we were visiting a zoo in junior high, while we were with a group of friends.

  Now I could laugh about the fact that she’d made me buy tampons and toss them into the women’s bathrooms like they were bombs.