Alayziah II: When Loving Him is Complicated

by B. Love

  “Until we hit the grave.”

  I smiled and slid the ring on her finger as I tried to shake the tears from my eyes.

  “Ummm… just so we’re clear… that was you asking her to marry you and her saying yes… right?” the teacher asked as I stood.

  “Yes. Yes,” I said.

  “She said yes!” she yelled and everyone stood and applauded as I took her into my arms and kissed her passionately.

  Alayziah

  After three days locked inside with Rell, I called my girls up for a ladies night. First, I had a girl’s day with Jessica and then I met Layyah at Bishop and Kailani’s place to get ready for our night. It would be her first time out since she had the baby and we were amped! I had finished putting the final touches on my outfit when she lightly tapped on my door.

  “You almost ready future Mrs. Prince Terrell Brown?”

  I smiled as I walked to the door and let her in. “Girl, I still can’t believe Terrell proposed!”

  “I can! You were made for him,” she said stepping inside the room.

  “Y’all ready to go?” Layyah asked walking in.

  “Damn, y’all do favor,” Kailani said, looking from me to Layyah.

  I didn’t see it. She did look like my dad, but not like me. I was brown and she was yellow. I was slim and she was slim thick. We did have the same grade of hair and the same eye shape. Same dimples. Maybe we did favor… a little.

  “I guess,” I said grabbing my phone to see if Rell had texted me back yet.

  “You don’t want to look like yo big sister?” Layyah asked sitting on the bed. Layyah was bad as hell. I can’t lie. I guess I was still just getting used to having a big sister.

  “It’s not that, Lay.”

  “Leave that girl alone she wanna look like herself,” Kailani said looking herself over in the mirror. She was wearing a flowing red backless maxi dress. Her hair was in its natural state pulled into a bun. She had on some bad chunky gold earrings with a naturally made up face. Her gold eyeshadow and ombre brown and dark gold lipstick complimented her skin very well. The simplicity of her outfit and makeup had her looking flawless without even trying.

  Layyah had on a high waist short set with a crop top that accentuated her curvy hips. The black against her skin looked good as hell. Her hair was in loose curls with a part down the middle. On her face, she had on nothing but a black matte lipstick. Her ass wasn’t even trying hard and I knew she was gone kill.

  I was dressed in a white tight fitting tank top tucked inside a pair of high waist light ripped jeans. I had on a pair of black and red pumps with a black and red clutch. My hair was bone straight with a part down the middle. Maybe that’s why Kailani said Layyah and I favored, and on my face I did my usual eyeliner and mascara with a bold red lip.

  I looked at them and smiled. Just a few months ago, I had no female friends just Marcel. Now, I had a sister by blood and a sister friend. My eyes glossed up as I stood.

  “Let’s go y’all I’m about to be in my feelings,” I said walking towards the door.

  “What’s wrong?” Layyah asked walking towards me.

  I shrugged. “Just… thinking about my life. A few months ago, I was heartbroken in this crazy ass triangle. Now, I got a man who adores me. You two beautiful ladies. I’m just blessed.”

  “Awww,” they said simultaneously as we group hugged. The ringing of my phone stopped us.

  “Hey, baby,” I said answering Rell’s FaceTime request.

  “Let me see you,” he said. I rolled my eyes and tilted my phone to give him a full view of me.

  “Damn, you look good. When are you coming home?”

  “Thanks, babe. We leaving now so probably in a couple of hours.”

  “Aight. Y’all behave. Don’t get too drunk. And don’t be out there fighting.”

  “I’m not, Terrell. We too cute to be fighting tonight.”

  “Whatever, that ain’t stopped y’all crazy asses before. I love you. Call me on your way home.”

  “I love you too, babe.”

  Rell

  Bishop’s lonely ass called me to come over his house as soon as the girls left. I didn’t mind, though, because after being locked up with Al celebrating our engagement a nigga needed some fresh air. This was the first time he was alone with the baby so I knew he wanted me there because he was nervous too, even if he didn’t want to admit it.

  “I’m surprised you ain’t got Al pregnant yet,” he said flipping through channels on the TV.

  “Mane… it ain’t for a lack of shooting my seeds in her. She on birth control, though.”

  “I should’ve known it was something like that. How does it feel to be engaged, my nigga? This gone be yo life soon,” he said, grabbing one of BJ’s blankets from off the couch and throwing it at me.

  “Ion think it’s really hit me yet. Ion think the shit gone hit me until I see her pretty ass walking down that aisle. That’s what a nigga waiting for. I’m ready to sign them papers. Shit, we can go down to the courthouse Monday for all I care. I’m just ready for her to have my last fucking name.”

  “I feel you. That’s how I was with Kai. After I proposed to her the first time and she turned a nigga down, I was heartbroken. I wasn’t gone stop until she was legally mine. It’s cool to fuck around and shit but it ain’t nothing like having somebody at home that you know gone always hold you down.”

  “I feel you and she fits with Kai so well. Then she’s Lay’s sister. I still can’t believe that. She fits our little family perfectly.”

  “I can’t believe that shit either. One Layyah is bad enough. Her crazy ass. I still remember when Al punched your ass, though. I wanna be there when y’all have y’all first fight.”

  “Nigga, I’m the King of my house. All I gotta do is fuck that shit out of her and she good. That’s the only time she acts up is when she want some dick.”

  “Whatever, nigga. Wait until she really gets your ass and when she gets pregnant? Oh my God.”

  “Kai only gave you a hard time because you trapped her ass.”

  “Mane, whatever. I ain’t trap Lani. She wanted to have my seed. She was just taking too long.”

  I shook my head at his crazy ass as he pulled his phone out. Talking about our women always made us miss them.

  “Lani… where yall at?” he asked after dialing her number. “Some niggas been tryna get at y’all? Don’t nobody care about Layyah’s ass. She’s damn near single. I’m talking about you and Al. Aight, make me come up there if you want to. So, you better let them niggas know before they even get to y’all table. Hold yo hand up and let them niggas see that ring. Keep playing I’ma take BJ to Diana and be up there on yo ass. You think I’m playing? Aight.”

  He hung up the phone and looked at me. “Why we let them go out together?” he asked standing.

  “Nigga, I know you not finna go up there? Leave them folks alone, mane. They can’t help it that they look good.”

  “Aight. Since that’s how you feel I guess you don’t care that it’s one nigga that’s been buying your fiancée drinks and tryna get her number all night then huh?”

  I chuckled lightly as I stood. “Let’s go.”

  Alayziah

  I didn’t believe that Bishop and Terrell were going to come to the lounge we were at so when Kai and Lay tried to get me to leave I declined. I had already had my limit of three drinks and I was feeling mighty good, cheesing hard as hell. The same guy had been staring at me all night and would not take the hint that I was not interested. I was flattered, though. I tried to throw him off on Layyah since she was on a break from Mike, but her ass wasn’t going. One day she was in love the next she was ready to kill Mike. I just stopped trying to keep up with their relationship status.

  When my drink buyer came to our table again, I sighed heavily and looked from Kai to Lay, who both had an attitude all over their face.

  “Mane, if this nigga comes over here one more time…” Layyah said sitting up in her seat.

&nb
sp; “I know right. His ass just don’t let up,” Kai added.

  “I know you ain’t talking. You had that light skinned nigga practically begging you to let him buy you a drink.”

  “So, he eventually took the hint. This nigga here ain’t catching shit.”

  I chuckled as he stood in front of our table. Before he could even speak I said, “I’m engaged, man.”

  “But you ain’t married yet. I still have a chance.”

  “No, you really don’t.”

  “I don’t know what type of man would let a woman as fine as you out anyway.”

  “One that knows he has absolutely no competition. I’m well satisfied.”

  “Damn. She told you,” Layyah said instigating.

  “Just… give me five minutes of your time and I promise I won’t bother you anymore,” he pleaded.

  “Uh oh. Look who just walked in,” Kai said pointing towards the door.

  “Shit… they gone think it’s my fault,” Layyah added sitting deeper in her seat.

  “You might wanna go, my nigga,” Kailani continued.

  “Why?” he asked turning slightly to face her.

  “Unh unh, don’t turn towards me. I don’t want my husband thinking you here for me.”

  “Kailani!” Bishop’s country ass yelled. “Who the fuck is this nigga?” he asked walking towards our table.

  “Nigga, shut yo loud ass up. He ain’t even for me. He’s for Al,” she said standing.

  “His ass ain’t for me either,” I said following her.

  “Oh, so you entertaining this nigga knowing you got a man at home?” Rell asked grabbing my ass and pulling me into him.

  “No, baby. He just wouldn’t go away. I told him I was engaged.”

  “And well satisfied,” Lay added standing. I smiled at her and shook my head.

  “She told you she ain’t wanna holla and you still pushing up on my lady?” Rell asked pushing me to the side.

  “I ain’t mean no harm. Her giving me a hard time just turned me on I ain’t gone lie, but I don’t mean any disrespect,” the nigga said taking a step back.

  “Rell, let’s just go. You don’t have to fight over what you already have.”

  He looked at me intensely before nodding. “Aight, but y’all three… y’all don’t get to go out alone no more. Not unless one of us is with y’all.”

  “Terrell! That’s not fair!” I damn near yelled.

  “Whatever. A nigga ain’t tryna catch a case playing with y’all. Show me the nigga that was tryna push up on you,” Bishop said grabbing Kailani’s arm.

  “He gone,” she lied.

  Layyah and I giggled a little too hard because he looked back at us.

  “Stop lying, Lani.”

  “I ain’t lying, Bishop.”

  “Then, why they laughing?”

  “Ion know. Ask them. They just crazy.”

  “Why y’all laughing?” Bishop asked Layyah and I.

  I nudged her in her stomach so she could answer.

  “Uh… we were just thinking about… how the nigga begged for her number before he left,” She lied.

  He looked like he ain’t believe her but he let the shit go as he wrapped his arm around Kailani’s neck and walked her outside.

  “Did you drive, baby?” I asked Rell as he, Layyah, and I walked out behind them.

  “Yeah. You coming home?”

  “Yeah. Lay, you gone be straight for the night?”

  “Yeah, I’m good,” she replied sadly.

  “You miss Mike, don’t you?” I asked. She nodded.

  “Just go back home. I’m sure y’all can work it out. Or leave his ass and move on.”

  Once we made it outside, she grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug.

  “Call me if you need me… k?” I said. She nodded as I kissed her cheek. I don’t know if it was really her relationship with Mike that was wearing her down… or the one she had to watch me have with Rell. “You wanna come over for a movie?” I asked. I couldn’t resist.

  Rell

  Waking up with Alayziah and Layyah in the same house was weird as hell. They fell asleep on the couch last night so I took Layyah to the guest room before putting my baby in bed with me. I woke up before the sun rose. I just had a weird ass feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked down and Alayziah was laying on my heart as usual. Half of her body was covering mine and her hand was filled with my dreads. After sliding from under her, I went down the hall to the guest room to check on Layyah. When I did, she was on the edge of the bed crying. I started to go and wake Al up, but it seemed like she needed comfort now. I went over to the bed and sat next to her. She looked at me and smiled lightly wiping her face.

  “What’s wrong, Lay?” I asked.

  “Nobody else knows this.”

  “Knows what?”

  “I’m moving back to Memphis, permanently. You know I’ve been going back and forth because of my relationship with Mike but, I’m moving back home.”

  “Why? What about him? What about your shop? What happened?”

  “I’m just tired, Rell. I’m tired of being with men who can’t give me what I need. I can’t even have a healthy loving relationship because I’m so fucked up. You were the only man to ever really care about me and I cheated on you. Mike says he cares, but he don’t care about me. He cared about the old me, but not me. He swore he didn’t want to change me, but that’s all he’s been trying to do since I got back with him.”

  “You just ain’t found the man for you, Lay. When the right man comes along, he gone make you want to be faithful. He’s going to be so different that you’re going to just… know… you’re going to know that he’s the one for you. He’s going to give you the love you need. He gone pull that selfishness out of you. Ain’t nothing wrong with wanting to have some fun, yo ass just need to be single while you’re doing it.”

  She chuckled as I brushed her tears away.

  “I just feel like I’m never going to get it right. At this point, I don’t even have the desire to. I’m never going to find a man who can handle me and make me want to do right. Then, I have to watch you and my sister. Y’all are so good together and it eats at me. Not because I want you back, but because I know I could have had that with a good man and I ruined it.”

  “Every good man ain’t the man for you, Layyah.”

  “I know, and I will never come at you like that, not that it would do my any good, it’s just hard being here. I feel so alone.”

  “You are not alone. You got Al, Kai, me, and Bishop.”

  “Yeah, but y’all got each other. Who got me?”

  Her tears started to flow again and I sighed heavily as I caressed her thigh.

  “Just wait on him, Lay. In the meantime, leave Mike’s ass alone for good. You don’t need somebody that’s gone make you want to be worse; you need somebody that’s going to make you want to be better.”

  She nodded as she covered her hand with mine.

  “Rell, I’m so sorry.”

  “We passed that. You don’t have to apologize anymore. We good. You’re my sister now and I love you. I got you.”

  “Okay, go before you make me cry even more,” she said pushing me off the bed.

  “Aye, check this out… you remember when I first brought my studio downtown?”

  “Yeah, what about it?”

  “When I first got it, it was a shoe store. The nigga that I got it from sold it because his business was expanding. He’s cool as hell… Maybe I could…”

  “No. I am not letting you hook me up with anybody.”

  “Why not? Don’t you think I would know if someone would be a good match for you or not? I know you Layyah, and I know what you want and need. You need a nigga that’s gone be able to handle you and make you submit, not a nigga you can walk all over.”

  “Kai said I don’t need a man that’s gas to my flames like you. She said I need water to balance me out.”

  “Kai ass only said that because that’s what she thinks sh
e does for Bishop, but her ass just as crazy as him. Sometimes you do need water, but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. A fire needs oxygen and nourishment, which can be other leaves, grass, and shit to build, right? So, if you kill that source of oxygen and the leaves that nourish it you create a controlled burn. That controlled burn keeps the fire from spreading. Once the fire is contained then it can be put out, but if you let the shit burn all Willy Nilly or just try and throw some water on it the flames will spread and cause more harm than good. Yes, you need water to contain you, but first, you need a nigga to handle you with some flames and sustain you.”

  She nodded and licked her lips as if she was in deep thought.

  “Let me think about it,” she mumbled.

  “Cool. You good?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks, Rell.”

  “Anytime.”

  Alayziah

  I woke up to my phone vibrating like crazy. The first time someone called I let that shit go to voicemail but they called right back. Groaning, I grabbed my phone angrily but softened when I saw Jabari’s name.

  “Yes, Jabari?” I said groggily.

  “Al… are you busy?”

  “I mean… I was sleep. What’s up?”

  “It’s Jessica. She’s been acting strange since she had the abortion. I was out of town last night but she was supposed to be at my place. When I got in, she wasn’t here. I called my mom and tried to see if she was there without alarming her, but she isn’t there. She isn’t answering her phone. I tracked her location. I was wondering… if you could go and pick her up with me. I don’t know what I’m about to walk into.”

  I sat all the way up in bed after he said Jessica’s name. I sighed heavily and ran my fingers through my hair.

  “Aight, Bari. Let me take a shower real quick and let my fiancé know what I’m doing and then I’ll head out your way.”

  “Fiancé?”

  “Yes, Jabari. Terrell and I are getting married.”

  “Damn. That’s good, Al. I’m genuinely happy for you.”