Ice Bear's Bid (Northbane Shifters Book 4)

by Isabella Hunt

  I rubbed my face.

  New plan. Accept this is going to be hell and keep going.

  I didn’t know why this honey blonde, with her bad habit of getting herself into pickles and saying things that threw me for a loop, was under my skin, but there she was. I had to accept it if I was going to survive. Maybe it was because I’d saved her. Or maybe it was because Iris was naïve enough not to be afraid of me. That was endearing, in a way. Or maybe it was because she was so attractive.

  Calm filled me. This would pass. I’d deal with her and the book, then move on.

  In that frame of mind, rejuvenated and determined, I got dressed and went downstairs. It was nearing eleven o’clock, the latest I’d slept in years.

  Iris was nowhere to be seen in the living room, with its high, arched ceilings and long windows. One of my favorite rooms in the entire house. Nor was she in the kitchen, although there were a covered plate and a mug left out for me on the counter.

  Reheating my breakfast, I pretended I wasn’t straining my ears for her. The kitchen was immaculate, and I assumed Iris had cleaned up. Of course.

  There were soft footsteps outside, and my chest knotted up in anticipation. Before I could stop myself, I looked up as Iris came in the side door and shook back her hair, smiling. Her cheeks were pink with cold, and everything about her smelled like fresh mountain air.

  “Good morning,” she said and came forward, stripping off her gloves. “Are you feeling better?” I nodded as she shrugged off one of my coats and revealed a peach-colored sweater. Peaches were my favorite fruit. Dammit, Corinna. “That’s good. We were worried about you.”

  “Everything caught up with me,” I said. “Didn’t sleep the night before, but you knew that.”

  “Anything I can do?”

  Already, my restraint was slipping, and her scent was bringing that dream back up. Now she had to stand there, sweet and oblivious to the brute standing in front of her. Why couldn’t she keep her distance and side-eye me like everyone else?

  Instead, as though hearing that, Iris smiled more. I almost lost it and half-turned away.

  I could foresee a lot of cold showers and sleepless nights in the future.

  “No,” I grunted and went back to eating breakfast, leaning against the counter. Pretending I was relaxed instead of admiring how the peach brought out her cheeks and made her eyes glow.

  Dammit, I’m Kallen Deacon. I don’t notice shit like that.

  “Um, Kal?” I took a deep breath and looked up, meeting her eyes across the kitchen. Iris was twisting her fingers and hovering uncertainly, hopping from foot to foot. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I hate that I’m putting you out. So, anything I can do, anything you need—please let me know.”

  Part of me wanted to tell her she was making this too easy.

  Another part wanted to tell her what I needed.

  Only the practice of years of ignoring those wants, buried under miles of self-preservation, had me regaining a semblance of sanity. I shrugged, even though it was a dick move.

  It unsettled her, as I’d meant it to.

  Adding to that, I responded a moment later, in a practiced, dismissive tone, “There’s nothing.” She flinched, and I plunged down into my old, trusty layers of ice. This was for the best—better to push her away before I made another stupid mistake around her. “And remember what I said.”

  “Of course,” Iris murmured, although I knew she wouldn’t ask for anything.

  “Feel free to go out and explore Cobalt all you want,” I said. “Hang out with the girls. I’m sure they love you already.”

  “What about your family?” Iris asked softly. “Fallon was wonderful, and—”

  “My family,” I said, with a bit more intensity than was necessary, “will be fine. I’ll handle it, Iris. It’s not your concern. Only the book.”

  “I guess that makes things easier,” Iris murmured. “But, Kal, shouldn’t we go over some rules? Just to establish things…?”

  “What things?” I asked, feigning ignorance as my throat tightened when she took a step closer.

  Damn you, Xander.

  “Well, if I’m supposed to be your mate,” Iris started to say, and I backed up. She stopped and stared at me, but I was avoiding her gaze. “Kal?”

  “You’re not, though,” I said, almost automatically. There was a strange, arrhythmic nature to my heart, and the ice I’d long buried myself inside of—comfortably, I might add—was suddenly thick and in my throat. Every check I had on myself was about to snap. “So, we don’t have to—we don’t have to worry. I’m already known around here as a jackass on a good day, so people won’t be expecting anything else. They’ll probably be nicer to you for it.”

  “Kal,” Iris said in a soft, shocked voice.

  A bitter laugh grated in my throat. “Saving you was a fluke in my character, Iris. That’s why you’re stuck with me—because I made a bizarre mistake. Won’t happen again. I’m not a damn hero or that good of a guy.”

  Iris shook her head. “How can you say that?”

  “Because I know myself.”

  Don’t get close, Iris. I’ll only hurt you—can’t you understand that? Take a damn hint.

  I could see the conflict in her eyes, the need to respect what I was saying against her instinct to reach out and close that distance. There was even a spark of exasperation, as though she knew what I was doing and only out of kindness wasn’t throwing it in my face.

  “I do what needs to be done.” I shoved away from the counter. “The sooner this is over, the better. In the meantime, I should be the one apologizing to you for all of this.”

  “But…” Now, Iris was staring at me like she’d never seen me before. “Wait, please…”

  “I have to go,” I muttered and got myself out of the house.

  I walked blindly until I found myself at my favorite outcropping. Nothing but a big boulder facing the west, hidden from the world, and I sank down, leaning against it. Everything inside of me was twisting and screaming. All I could see was the shock on her face, the pain and disarray in her eyes. If there was one thing I was good at, it was figuring out how to keep people away from me.

  I hung my head.

  I didn’t want to hurt you, Iris. But I have to protect you.

  Chapter Twelve

  Iris

  Since that first morning in Kal’s house, the question I kept asking myself wasn’t one I would have expected. Not, Why are you still here, Iris? Or, What the hell is wrong with him?

  No.

  It was, Should I have gone after him?

  I hadn’t seen Kal since our first morning together, six days ago. I wasn’t even sure if he was sleeping in his own house. It was then I’d seen what Laia and the others had been alluding to. Understood why Kal had the reputation he had.

  He was unfamiliar. That ice-cold, callous, and hard-bitten man, with an uncompromising jawline and distant gray eyes.

  Yet that question persisted from the one flash I’d seen as Kal had turned away.

  A raw agony, as though it were killing him to be like this.

  Six days later, though, I had my doubts about what I’d seen. Wasn’t his absence proof he’d meant every word?

  Saving you was a fluke in my character, Iris. That’s why you’re stuck with me—because I made a bizarre mistake. Won’t happen again.

  Those words cut deep. No matter what I did, I couldn’t forget them. It was like they were still echoing through the air and splashed across the walls.

  Since that day, I couldn’t quite relax when in Kal’s house. At that moment, it had gone from a staying in a home to living in a museum or a military barracks. I always put the pillows back in exactly the same spot and cleaned up after myself. I didn’t want to take up any more space than I already had.

  Kal had left no room for anything but himself, so why would he be happy I was in his house?

  But more than those words was the memory of Kal’s indifferent and cold face. Together, they
flavored everything with a sharp humiliation, one that dug into my skin and stayed there, no matter what I did or where I went.

  During those six awful days, I’d berated myself around the clock for letting myself think that Kal had become a friend. That he cared about me and wanted me to stay here. Now I knew he was too busy and important. His suggestion for me to stay in Winfyre had been nothing but cold pragmatism.

  And that should have been that.

  I mean, hadn’t he made it clear that Winfyre was his top priority from day one?

  Yet I still caught my breath with the pain of losing him. Or rather, the idea of him. The resulting bruise crept up over my heart, worsening with each day I didn’t see him. Because underneath it all, I missed him. I couldn’t help but think back on those small, warm moments we’d shared on the journey here.

  Or had I imagined all of those, too?

  Perhaps Kal had picked up on that. He probably didn’t want me getting any ideas while we ran around and pretended to be mates. If so, it was a wonder he wasn’t more pissed off.

  The only time the ache lessened was when I was with the ladies of Winfyre. It was a relief to be with people who knew my secret and didn’t hold it against me. There, I could forget for a bit, as I played with Eliot and Luna, or held the sleepy, sweet little baby Caleb, or listened to their happy, harmless gossip about the territory.

  However, I wasn’t much of an actress, and, more than once, the ladies had also pressed me about Kal. Yesterday, when I’d let something slip about their not having to worry about it because I hadn’t even seen him, Laia’s lips had gone into a flat line that didn’t bode well for anyone. Reagan and Sierra had looked downright alarmed, glancing at each other in shock.

  Later, Fallon had stopped by, and I’d watched Laia pull her aside. The look on Fallon’s face had been downright scary. She’d scowled so darkly, I’d winced.

  I hadn’t meant to get Kal into trouble. Once again, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

  Figuring it was probably not a bad idea to keep to myself today, I stuck around the house and read. I’d heard nothing from the Coven or anyone else about Orion’s book. It itched at me constantly. In another day or so, I was going to make my own way to Veda to satisfy that itch. Nor could I exactly ask the ladies because I assumed they probably didn’t know or would be confused as to why I didn’t know. Xander had implied that Kal would be giving me updates.

  Curled up in the window seat on the back wall of the living room, I rested the paperback on my knees and looked out into the uncertain light of the rapidly fading autumn afternoon.

  I hated being so idle. Even though the other packs had driven me a bit crazy from time to time with meaningless work, at least I'd always had something to do. Here, I was waiting on Kal to deign to give me some of his time. A flare of anger went up my spine, then crumpled into ashes just as quickly. What was I supposed to do? Complain? He’d saved my life and let me live in his house.

  “Reading anything good?”

  I startled so badly, the book slammed to the floor, and I nearly went with it. Scrambling upright, I watched as a woman with silver braids walked across the room and sat down across from me, pulling her feet up. She was absolutely stunning. Lovely, sharp features, flawless dark skin, forest green eyes, and a blinding smile.

  “Sorry, I was told you were expecting me.” She rolled her eyes. “Should have known that message wouldn’t have gotten passed along.”

  I nodded and tried to place this goddess. There was something familiar about her, but I couldn’t grasp it. However, I did recognize her outfit. All Corinna couture. A simple shawl, straight gray pants, and knee-high socks.

  “And you don’t even know who I am. Lovely.” She sighed and gestured at herself. “Beylore.”

  “Hi, I’m Iris,” I said, realizing I’d been gaping at her and hadn’t said a word. “Although you probably already knew that.” My mind was whirring. Beylore. Beylore. Why do I feel like I should know that name?

  “I’m the head of the Coven,” she said and extended a hand with several silver rings. I took it, and we shook, as I tried to get my shock and giddiness in check. “Oh, you’ve got a way with words and translations. A Riftborn detective, as it were, with empathic traits. Fascinating.”

  “Uh, that’s a nice way to put it,” I said and hunched my shoulders, in awe. Beylore could get all that from a simple handshake? “Honestly, it’s not much use.”

  “On the contrary,” Beylore said, and her eyes sparkled. “It’s never been put to the right use or the right task. I think this one will prove your mettle, though. Certain Riftborns need the right circumstances to fully flower.” She paused and tipped her head to the side. “And Kal is your mate.”

  Flushing under her studied glance, I nodded. It was the first time someone had outright asked. It seemed this Beylore was not privy to the fake mate gambit.

  “How’s he taking it?” Beylore laughed, and a weak smile flickered over my face. Silently, I prayed I could pull this off. “I bet he’s fighting it so hard and making it so much worse for himself. He can’t do anything the easy way. But then, he really has deluded himself into thinking he can lock his heart away—like life won’t keep trying to hand him a key.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, but my own heart was being tugged on sharply. “Why did he try to lock his heart away?” I asked without thinking. “His dad?”

  Beylore’s lips parted. “He told you about that?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Although, it was kind of a strange night, though.”

  “He was friends with my husband for almost their entire lives, and Kal barely mentioned it once. Rett was the one who had to…” Beylore glanced out the window and shook her head. “Never mind. Times like this, I really wish he was still with us. He would’ve been so happy to meet you.”

  “Your husband—he…?” I asked, and she shook her head. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

  Beylore looked at me, and there was a deep sadness to her young face, a heartbreak that I could feel cutting into my bones. “He died not long after the Rift.” A shaky breath exuded out of her. “Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real.”

  “I understand,” I murmured and gently touched her hand.

  “Oh my, you are perfect for Kal,” Beylore said. “Perfect. Here I am, minutes into meeting you and unburdening my soul.” She gave me a small smile. “Warm and open, with a fire to contrast the ice bear’s bite. And you’ve had more than your fair share of tragedies, too.”

  “Oh, no, it’s…” I trailed off, not quite sure what to say to that. I couldn’t disagree.

  But wait, how had she known that? What kind of Riftborn was this woman?

  “Anyway,” Beylore said and stretched out her hands, “I’m so happy for you and Kal. Although, I’m sure it won’t be easy at first. You’re gonna have to knock some sense into him. Fight for it a bit. But once you crack that ice bear, he is never going to let you go.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I said in a high voice and bit my cheek. “Sure.”

  Lying to Beylore left me with a bitter and hollow feeling. Here was a young widow, happy to congratulate others on their love, and I was sitting here, accepting it. This was wrong.

  She laughed softly. “That fool, thinking he can avoid it by avoiding you.”

  “Um, Beylore,” I started to say, but a door banged open, and there were voices in the hall. A second later, Xander, Luke, Reagan, and Fallon walked in. I scrambled up. “Hello.”

  “Lor, you’re here,” Xander said, stopping and staring at her. “And hello, Iris.”

  Blinking, I suddenly realized why Beylore looked so familiar. She looked a bit like Xander. Were they related? I wanted to ask, but Kal emerged from the foyer, and my mind went blank.

  “Kal,” I said, springing up and flying across the living room before I could think. Any other feelings I might’ve had about seeing him for the first time in days were swallowed by a rush of fear and horror. “What happened?”

  Kal’s face and
jaw were bruised purple, a gash over his eye was bleeding, and his lip was split. Grimacing, he avoided my eyes, and a sharp stake of pressure burst behind them.

  I went to draw back, but I caught the end of what Xander was saying to me, and I forced myself to pay attention. “Went off and chased down a lone band of Vorths on the border. Didn’t realize the Excris had split up and surrounded him until a bit too late. Nor would the stubborn ass let us take him to see Rogda after we got there in time to pull them off of him.”

  “He went alone?” I asked, turning to Luke and Xander, who both rolled their eyes. Fallon looked furious. “You went alone?” My voice shook. “I thought you were over being reckless.”

  Oh, I hadn’t meant to say that with such venom. Kal winced and looked away.

  “Maybe he’d like to change it up and be a Llary instead of a Deacon,” Beylore said slyly.

  Kal muttered something I didn’t catch and turned to go upstairs. I caught his arm, suddenly not giving a damn what he thought about me. “Kal, you need to see a healer.”

  “I’m fine,” he ground out. This was the first thing he says to me? I could’ve clawed his eyes out at that moment. “I’m a grown-ass man, and I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.”

  With that, he clattered upstairs and banged closed a door. Spots swam in front of my eyes, and I realized I was clenching my fists in absolute fury.

  “I’ll start making dinner, I guess,” Fallon said into the silence.

  “Let me help,” Reagan said, and Luke followed.

  Turning, I saw Beylore and Xander talking. No one was paying attention to me. For a moment, I hesitated, then I rushed up the stairs and down the hall.

  Something inside of me was telling me I needed to be up here, an instinct tugging at me and making me reckless. Or perhaps brave.

  The bathroom door was closed, and I could hear cursing coming from inside. I thought of Beylore’s sad gaze, his friends’ worried and annoyed ones, and Fallon’s resignation.

  Sometimes when you knew someone well enough, you let them do things over and over again without realizing how harmful it was. Or out of fear of hitting the wrong nerve. Or simply because you were used to it. It wasn’t maliciousness, but a bit of a blind spot that came with close contact. Or maybe none of them thought that Kal would let them help.