Lily, One Lord's Temptation (The Garden Brides #1)

by Jane Charles

  She smiled at their antics. It was important that she continue to make him happy for as long as she was able. She knew it was only a matter of time before their peaceful life crumbled. Her father would find her and even though he no longer had control, she still dreaded that day. And, if Max continued to be intimate with her nightly, soon she would swell with child. All Lily could do was pray that she survived. If not her, then at least the babe.

  Chapter 45

  Lily and Max had now been married three months. All of the children from the Haven had arrived a month ago, at least those who were already familiar with Max. Max’s home had been built during the Elizabethan Era, in the shape of an “E” like so many large manors of the day, and the children had been placed in the northern section, with the girls on the first floor, above the sitting room, parlor, and other public rooms, and the boys on the floor above the girls. The manor boasted more rooms than she could count and was far larger than Max needed on his own. Far larger than the two of them needed so it was good to have the children inhabit one portion of the manor. The top floor had been made into classrooms for the students. The family wing was at the opposite, southern side of the home. Tutors and governesses had been hired so that the children would receive an education, and Max was in the process of determining which trades would be best for the children to learn.

  While she enjoyed having the children about, more pressing concerns weighed on her. Not only was she expecting her father to arrive on their doorstep any moment, but more importantly, she feared that there would soon be another child in the house and it scared her almost as much as she’d been frightened when Max was so deathly ill.

  “What is it? Your message sounded urgent?” Wesley asked the moment he arrived.

  Lily had sent for him. Even though she knew the symptoms, and the cause, she needed to be certain.

  “I believe I may be expecting.”

  A grin broke out on Wesley’s face. “That is wonderful. I am sure Max is happy.”

  “Max does not know.”

  “Lily, you should have told him before me. He is the father.”

  “I needed to speak with you first.” Lily stood and began pacing the floor.

  “Why, is something wrong? If so, you should be examined by Dr. Cornelius immediately.”

  “No, at least not yet.”

  “Then I don’t understand.” Wesley walked further into the sitting room.

  “I need you to make me a promise.” She turned and looked him in the eye.

  “Anything.”

  “When the time comes, if there are problems, I want you to take the baby before it is too late. I know I will die, but I don’t want the baby to die like my brother did because the doctor waited too long.”

  “Lily, just because your mother suffered that fate, does not mean you will.”

  Lily took a deep breath. She already expected this argument from Wesley. “I just want you to make the promise. Please.”

  Wesley studied her for a moment before he answered. “Very well. I promise. However, I will not deliver your child. A doctor should never treat a family member, but I will advise Dr. Cornelius of your instructions and be here to see that they are followed.”

  “Thank you.” Lily relaxed and sat back down.

  Max was concerned when Lily asked him to meet her in his study following dinner. Lately she had not been herself. She tossed and turned at night, and often wandered the house with no direction. Something troubled her deeply and he hoped she would finally confide in him. She had refused his earlier attempts.

  “Max, I think you should sit down. There is something very important I need to tell you.”

  Her face was pale, worry etched her brow. He knew she had met with Wesley earlier. Was she ill?

  No, Lily could not be ill.

  He sat as she requested. She took the chair across from him.

  “Darling, what is wrong?”

  Lily took a deep breath and uttered the words, “I am expecting a child.”

  He knew he must have the silliest grin on his face when he jumped from his seat. “Lily, that is wonderful.”

  Why wasn’t she smiling? Max knelt beside Lily and took her hand in his. “Lily, don’t you want a child?”

  “That is not it, Max.” She bit her bottom lip and stared at him. “I never intended to have a child because...”

  “Please explain,” he said slowly. He’d known her long enough to know that sometimes she made assumptions or had beliefs because of how she’d been raised.

  “I never intended to have a child that my father might one day gain control over.”

  “That will never happen,” he assured her. “If something happened to me, which I don’t intend for it to, my father would never allow yours near our child.”

  She smiled. “I know that now, and that isn’t a concern any longer.”

  “They why the concern?”

  “I need you to be prepared for the possibility that I might not survive.”

  Max gaped at her. He knew it was dangerous for a woman to go through the trials of bringing a child into the world, but Lily was young, strong and healthy. Surely she wouldn’t suffer the fate that unfortunately far too many women suffered. “Why do you think you won’t survive?”

  “My mother had difficult pregnancies. The last time she attempted to give birth, she and the babe died in the process.”

  “Lily, I am so sorry.” He reached forward and took her hand. “Just because your mother did not do well, does not mean you will suffer the same fate.”

  “Wesley has promised to see that my wishes are granted, if it is necessary to take the babe before it is too late.”

  “I don’t understand.” What wishes? How could he take the babe?

  “I know I can handle this, if it means the babe will survive.”

  “Handle what?” he yelled.

  Lily looked down at her hands. “It is best you don’t know. That is why I asked Wesley. I am afraid you will not be able to make the right decision.”

  She was not answering his question but he needed to know exactly what she meant. Max stood and strode for the door. Yanking it open, he yelled out, “Wesley.”

  The man being summoned was walking down the stairs and paused when he heard his name. He looked down at Max. “Ah, I see she has told you.”

  “Get in here and explain this madness.” Max stomped away from the door.

  Wesley entered and closed the door behind him. “Why does my wife think she is going to die? And what promise did you make?” Max stood in the middle of the room glaring at the man.

  “First, Lily thinks she is going to die. I do not.”

  Those words brought some relief to Max. “Explain her reasoning, if you please.” He stomped across the room and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Lily’s mother suffered through several pregnancies. She was only able to bring two children to term. Lily and her brother. Altogether there were fourteen pregnancies and several times the doctor did not think she would survive.”

  “Fourteen? In how long of time?” Max asked, worried that his wife would miscarry, if it was something that could be inherited.

  “Ten years.”

  “No, it was much longer than that,” Lily insisted.

  “You were ten when your mother died.”

  Lily frowned and leaned back.

  “So many in so short of time?” Max wondered aloud.

  “Lily is concerned she will share her mother’s fate,” Wesley clarified. “The difference is, you are a better man than her father.”

  I should hope so. “How?”

  “Artemisia craved a son so badly, more so after Lily was born. He would not leave his wife alone. As soon as she was able, he stayed with her until she conceived. This happened again and again and again.”

  Max believed he understood the real cause of her death.

  “Lily’s mother was never able to recover. Her body was weak. When it came time for her to deliver, having finally
brought another child to term, she did not have the energy to give it life.”

  “That is not true,” Lily sat forward and argued.

  “Or, Artemisia would not allow the time necessary to bring the babe into the world.”

  Max vowed to himself then and there that if Lily recovered from the pregnancy he would protect her in the future. Even if it meant no more children, no more intimacy. “What promise did you make to my wife?”

  “One that will not be necessary. She wants assurances that the child will live and has offered to sacrifice herself. To die the way her mother did.”

  Max looked over at his wife and she looked down at her lap.

  “She did not need to die in such a manner, nor will Lily,” Wesley concluded.

  “How did her mother die?” Max asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

  “Lily should tell you. She was in the room.”

  “But she was only ten?”

  “She didn’t behave then. Her father made sure she did the rest of her life. Before she met you anyway.”

  Max turned to his wife. Lily looked up at him, her eyes sad. He walked over and knelt before her. “What happened?”

  Lily swallowed and closed her eyes. A moment later she opened them, a pain so visible reflected in her eyes that it pierced Max’s heart. “I knew my mother was going to finally have a baby. It was what she and father both wanted. I remember hearing her screams from my room. I wasn’t supposed to leave, but when I heard my father yelling, I had to go.”

  She turned her head and looked out the window. “A maid had left the door open so I slipped in and hid behind the curtains. I knew I would be in grave trouble if anyone found me.”

  She wiped a tear from her cheek. “Father was arguing with the doctor. My mother had been trying to bring the babe into the world for a full day and she was growing weaker by the moment. The doctor was hesitant, but when my mother was even losing the strength to cry out, he knew he had to do something or neither she nor the baby would survive.

  Max looked up at Wesley, who nodded his head. “Go on,” he encouraged his wife.

  “That’s when he decided to perform the procedure. To take my brother from my mother’s womb.”

  Max had heard of these procedures being performed on rare occasion, but a ten-year-old child should not have had to witness it. It’s a wonder Lily hadn’t been traumatized. Or, perhaps she was.

  “It was too late for the baby and my mother died soon after.”

  “Oh Lily, I am so sorry this happened to your mother and brother, and that you witnessed it.”

  She took the handkerchief he offered.

  “That does not mean you will endure the same fate.”

  “My mother always had difficulty. From the very first time when she carried me through to the last, and had to always remain in bed to rest. Father spoke of complications.”

  “What complications?” Max demanded. His wife would get the best care in the world.

  She blinked then looked up at Wesley. “I am not sure.”

  “Perhaps your father insisted so that she not injure herself,” Wesley suggested.

  Lily creased her brow, as if considering the possibility.

  “Lily,” Max took her hands in his. “I swear to you, you will not suffer the same fate as your mother.”

  “I would like to believe you, Max. But some things are out of our control.”

  With that she rose and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m tired. Do you mind if I retire.”

  She was carrying his child. Of course he didn’t mind. Even if she weren’t, Max wouldn’t dream of denying her this request. What kind of childhood must she have had if she asked for permission of the simplest things?

  “Are you sure Lily will be fine?” Max asked Wesley after Lily had gone.

  “I am as sure as one can be,” Wesley answered

  “Artemisia is deranged.” Max settled into a leather chair.

  “Evil.”

  Max raised an eyebrow. He had never considered anyone actually evil before. But he had to admit, Artemisia came close. “Is that why Lily had such a difficult childhood? Why didn’t the man just marry again?”

  “He refused to marry. He had been duped once before and didn’t trust anyone else. Thus, he set out to train Lily to be the perfect lady to catch the perfect husband, to carry on his legacy through his grandchildren.” Wesley shook his head. “Artemisia had always been demanding but when he lost his son a change came over him. A darkness. Almost as if he slipped into madness.”

  “Well, he no longer has control.” Max rose to pour to glasses of brandy. He understood Lily’s fears and until she safely delivered a child, that fear would stay with her. But, he also understood why her mother had died. No woman should be forced to endure pregnancies as close as her mother had. No wonder she was too weak to deliver the baby when it was time. And, if this pregnancy did prove to be difficult for Lily, then Max would make sure she did not have to suffer again. No child was worth losing Lily and if their fate was to have but one child, Max was with peace at the possibility. Besides, they had a wing full of children. They needed love just as much as any that he fathered.

  “For years Lily tried desperately to win her father’s love,” Wesley said as Max handed him a glass.

  “How?”

  “One day, it was a few months after her mother’s death, Lily cut all of her hair off. She said she could be the boy.”

  “I’m sure Artemisia did not take that well.”

  “He banished her to her room. He then ordered a doll, with long hair. Lily was not allowed to play with the doll, but to study it so she knew how a lady was supposed to look.”

  “How long was she banished?”

  “Four months, until her hair grew out.”

  “What else did she do?” Max was almost afraid to find out, but needed to know.

  “There were several things, but nothing worked. By the time she was fourteen she realized that her father would never love her. She also came to believe that love was conditional, based on the other person getting what they wanted. Since then, she has shielded herself, built walls so far around her heart they seemed impossible to penetrate. Until you, at least.”

  Wesley was partially correct. She had opened more to him, but a part of her remained guarded, as if she was afraid of one misstep and then everything falling apart. Max knew there was nothing more he could do but show patience and, in time, she would come to trust him and trust that his love was unconditional. And one day, she might also tell him that she loved him. Max knew Lily loved him, but he longed to hear it from her lips.

  Chapter 46

  Though still too early for spring, the weather was mild and the sky a brilliant blue. Lily hadn’t left the house since she had arrived four months ago to nurse Max back to health, but she couldn’t remain inside. Not on a day like today. Even the children were outside enjoying the unusual weather.

  Worries about her child had been partially set aside. The idea of bringing a child into the world was still frightening, but after talking further with Wesley, and understanding her mother’s weakened state from so many pregnancies so close together, she understood what she couldn’t as a child. With her heart set at ease, she agreed to have Dr. Cornelius examine her to confirm her suspicions, and he would be present when the baby arrived.

  Concerns of her father, and when he would find her, and fear of her future with Max continued to weigh on her, but all of it was out of her hands. The only thing that she had any control over was trying to keep Max happy, which wasn’t difficult. Or, it wasn’t difficult for her to try because she desperately wanted him to be as happy as he’d made her. And, eventually, she’d be able to tell him that she loved him. He said it to her daily, and often, but Lily had yet to be able to utter the words in return. She feared that once they were said, she’d be the most vulnerable she’d ever been in her life. She’d worked for years protecting herself and it was so difficult to let go.

  In time, and so
on, she would tell him. Maybe even today.

  With her hat in one hand and her other on the railing, Lily slowly made her way down the stairs. When she was halfway down, the front door opened. She looked up, expecting to see Max and froze. Her father slammed the door behind him, face red with fury, grey hair sticking out in all directions, and eyes wide and focused on her.

  “There you are.”

  Her blood ran cold. Lily gripped the railing tighter and began to back up the stairs.

  “Do you have any idea what you have put me through? Now look at you. Swollen with a bastard child.”

  She wasn’t so far along that it was even noticeable so how could he possibly know she was with child?

  Dr. Cornelius! He was the only person, besides Max and Wesley, who knew. Had he written to her father?

  Of course, Lily knew that it was only a matter of time before her father learned where she was, but she never dreamed the doctor would write to him now, after all of this time.

  “I am married, Father,” Lily explained, her eyes downcast. The old fear and years of training came to the forefront. Her left foot searched for the step behind her but caught on her gown. She couldn’t risk falling down the stairs.

  “Not with my permission and I will see it dissolved. I control you, and the child. You will come with me now.”

  Lily tried to think of something to do, or say, but her mind was befuddled. She had feared this day for the longest time.

  Oh Lord, help me. Lily lifted her head and looked her father in the eye. “I did not need your permission and I am not going anywhere with you.”

  Her father stalked to the stairs, grabbed her wrist and she stumbled forward. A scream of terror lodged in her throat but her father’s frame kept her from losing her balance altogether.

  He drew back and his hand connected with her right cheek. “I will teach you to defy me.” The forceful, stinging blow whipped her head back.

  Lily cowered, bending forward, arms protective while waiting for another blow, hoping he did not strike her in the stomach.