December Love

by Mildred Colvin

  “I … I do care when you’re upset.”

  The light in her eyes dimmed. Will struggled with where to go from here. “And … well I’m not very fancy with words.”

  Her brow rose the way it often did before she shot off orders to someone, yet she said nothing.

  He shoved his thumbs in his pockets and resisted rocking back on his heels. “And you look real pretty this morning.” He inwardly cringed. Where had that come from? He was such a dope when it came to expressing his feelings, especially around Florence.

  “And you don’t need to worry about Lily. She’ll come around, she just needs time to be a wife. Soon enough she’ll be running to you with all kinds of questions. Just don’t be too bossy with your answers, and you two will do fine.” Pleased with his quick save, he crossed his arms and gave a satisfied nod.

  Florence shook her head in a slow back and forth motion. Had he said something wrong? Why were women so complicated? Instead of explaining her reaction, she disappeared inside with the click clack of her shoes diminishing toward the kitchen.

   

   

   

   

  Chapter 3

   

   

  “It’s time to go back home. Past time!” Florence was still muttering when she entered the ranch’s spacious kitchen. “I should know better than this at my age. Chicago’s where I belong.”

  Mabel pulled a pan of biscuits from the oven. Her brows pulled together as she looked at Florence. “What’s that about Chicago?”

  Warmth flooded Florence’s cheeks. What could she tell Mabel? Oh nothing much. It’s just that I’m in love with your little brother but if I’m upset it bothers him. Which, of course, means he can’t begin to understand what I’m feeling. But why should He? He’s strong and stoic. He thinks everyone should hide their feelings the way he does—if he has any. To her horror, tears burned the backs of her eyes. She couldn’t cry. She wouldn’t.

  “Sit down, Florence, and tell me what’s going on?” Mabel pulled out a chair. “Did my brother say something to hurt your feelings? Whatever it was, I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

  Florence looked from Mabel to the chair. She’d like nothing better than to unburden her heart. Between trying to understand Lily, and now Will, she’d strung herself tighter than the barb wire around Will’s pasture. Except Will had come across quite clear with his meaning. He didn’t want to see her upset. “Men can’t stand to see a woman cry. That’s all it is.”

  “You cried in front of Will?” Mabel’s lips twitched. She went around the table and pulled out another chair. “Sit down a while. It won’t hurt Will to wait for his breakfast while you tell me what’s going on. Won’t take but a minute I’m sure, and I could use the sit-down time.”

  Florence stared at the other woman before sinking to the chair waiting for her. “No, I didn’t cry, but Will said he didn’t want to see me when I’m upset.”

  Mabel grinned. “Probably meant he didn’t want you to be upset. That’s a man for you. Can’t say what’s on his heart so he says something dumb. Don’t mind him, and don’t even think about going back to Chicago. Remember, we talked about—”

  “Who’s going to Chicago?” Will’s booming question flew across the room as he stood in the doorway, a shocked look on his face.

  Mabel stood. “I’ll just see to getting breakfast on the table. Maybe you two might like a moment to talk.” She snatched up the biscuits and disappeared into the dining room.

  Florence examined the floor. Please, open up and let me sink into your depths. When nothing happened she knew none of her wishes would come true today.

  Will glared at her as he sat where Mabel had been. “You aren’t going to Chicago.”

  “Oh, really?” She straightened and returned glare for glare. “What gives you the right to tell me what I can or can’t do?”

  For the longest time their gazes locked together tighter than her strong box in Chicago, and that’s where she was going if he didn’t give her a good reason to stay. Please, Will, say something. Like my love for you should be enough. Yes, that would do it. Please, please.

  His eyes flickered before he looked down. “I already told you I don’t like seeing you upset. We’re friends, aren’t we? Good friends.” He rubbed his hand over his chest. “There’s plenty of room here, and we’ve gotten used to having you around. I reckon Mabel would miss you if you left.”

  The air rushed from Florence’s lungs. How could he say such things? “Let’s go eat breakfast, Will. Mabel’s waiting.”

  She stood and walked out ignoring her name as it came from his lips in a soft caress. The old man should take lessons from his boys. They’d all three wooed and won their brides in less than three months’ time. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? Will didn’t want a bride. He wanted a friend who was never upset. Well, she was upset now!

  By the time she reached the table, the hurt had wormed its way deep. She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin determined to not let anyone know. After all, she had no reason to raise a fuss. If he couldn’t return her love, she should welcome his friendship. William Logan was a nice man. He was only trying to help. He’d opened his home to her, and she was grateful. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t love her. Forcing a smile to her lips, she looked at Mabel, who stood watching as if she thought she might break in two. “Is there anything else I can help with?”

  “No, it’s all on the table.” Mabel turned toward the heavy footsteps coming from the kitchen. “Let’s all sit down and eat.”

  Florence felt Will’s presence as he shuffled past her and took his place at the end of the table. She turned her smile on him before sitting down and bowing her head for the prayer.

  ~*~

  The hollow clopping of the horse’s hooves against the road to town sounded as gloomy as the sky above. Raindrops plopped against the top of the buggy while Mabel guided it toward the stagecoach station. Florence was glad for the dry buggy, but not for the silence that surrounded her. Was Mabel as sad at her leaving as she was?

  Will hadn’t made a sound of protest since their talk yesterday before breakfast. It was just as well. Seemed every time either of them opened their mouth she felt worse. All she got was his sympathy when she wanted his love. How hard could that be, Will? Obviously too hard for him.

  Mabel pulled the buggy to a stop in front of the station and turned to Florence. “I don’t suppose I can change your mind?”

  “No.” Florence shook her head. “You’ll soon be going home to your husband. I can’t stay here with the way things are. And I don’t see anything changing.”

  “Do you love him?” Mabel’s intense look released the tears Florence wished would dry up. After a sleepless night of soaking her pillow, she’d expected dry eyes today.

  She swiped at her cheeks leaving room for her eyes to fill again. “Yes, but it doesn’t matter, Mabel. He doesn’t care for me in that way.”

  “Maybe. Will has a hard time expressing how he feels.”

  “I think he’s made it clear we’re only friends.” Florence blotted her eyes on the handkerchief she pulled from her purse. “But that’s all right. He’s a wonderful man. I’m privileged to count him as a friend.”

  Mabel grunted. “What about Lily? Are you going to tell her goodbye?”

  Florence took a deep breath. “I already did more or less. The last time I was in town, I mentioned going back to Chicago, and she acted like she didn’t care. Oh, Mabel, I’m almost afraid to go back to that life. What if word gets out about Lily?”

  “What do you mean?” Mabel’s eyes narrowed.

  “I had a child out of wedlock. Do you have any idea what my business associates could do with that? I’d be ruined if word got out in Chicago.” Florence stared at Mabel as a void took over her core. “I can’t go back there.”

  “Then go to Fort Worth like I suggested in the first place.” Mabel’s eyes danced above her smile. “Let Will think you
’ve gone to Chicago while you stay close by. I know the perfect place. You can stay at the Queen City Hotel. It’s respectable and quiet. You’ll enjoy it there and have time to think things over. Decide what you want to do. After all, you can’t give up on Lily.”

  “No, I can’t.” Florence weighed the options and didn’t find any pointing toward Chicago. After a while, she nodded. “I’ll do it. I’ll go to … where’d you say? Queen Hotel?”

  “Queen City Hotel. When you get to Fort Worth tell a cabbie. He’ll know the way.” Mabel glanced around the side of the buggy. “I thought I heard something, but I guess not. I see the rain has stopped. The stage should be here soon.”

  Florence turned her gaze toward the station not far from where they sat. Pounding hoof beats drew her attention to the road. A team of four horses pulled the familiar stage coach through a puddle, splattering rain water before stopping in front of the station.

  As Florence climbed down on her side of the buggy, a young man hurried away and crossed the street behind them. Had he been walking past or standing nearby? She glanced around but saw no one else he might have been visiting with. She shrugged. It wasn’t worth worrying about.

  Her heart picked up its beat as she shifted her thoughts to the next few days. Maybe she was running away from Will and a love she couldn’t deny, but this would give her some needed quiet time to think and pray. Lily didn’t want her help, and Will didn’t want her love. Surely there was a way she could stay in Texas, her adopted land, without becoming a burden to the two most important people in her life.

  She picked up one of her bags from the back of the buggy. The tag with her name and address had been torn off. How did that happen? She looked around searching for the answer.

  The young man who’d hurried away from the buggy stood watching her from across the street. He turned away, revealing a jagged scar along his cheek. Something cold snaked along her spine. She shook off the feeling. She needn’t worry about him. She was leaving Mesquite Gulch.

  Maybe forever.

   

   

   

   

  Chapter 4

   

   

  Will stood inside the open doorway of the barn staring out toward the drive from the road. Sometimes he felt as old as the land he loved. “… for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” According to the third chapter of Genesis, he might be that old. A wry chuckle escaped before he suppressed it. Didn’t set well with the load he carried today.

  Florence. He brought the little blonde woman to mind as a lump formed in his throat. She was gone. Chicago’s gain and his loss. Already the place seemed way too quiet. How could he live without Florence?

  He snorted. He couldn’t, but he couldn’t have lived with her either. Not for long. His time on earth was drawing to a close maybe even before he reached his fiftieth birthday. He rubbed his chest as pain moved through it. Physical or emotional, he wasn’t sure. Maybe he’d ask Mabel to fix chili for supper. Good cooking should go a long way to ease the pain in his heart. At least, he could pretend it did.

  A wagon wheel squeaked followed by the neigh of a horse excited to return home. As if thinking about her had caused her to appear, Mabel drove in, directing the horse toward the barn.

  He stepped out to meet her and reached for the reins as she tossed them toward him. He caught them in mid-air then stepped forward to help her down.

  “Don’t bother.” She brushed him away. “I can manage fine. If you’d take care of the horse, I’ll get supper started.”

  “I’ve been hankerin’ for a big bowl of your good chili.” He glanced around the horse to see how she took his suggestion.

  “I suppose you want one of those hot peppers diced up in it.” An upward twitch of her lips encouraged him as did her comment, bringing a rumble to his stomach.

  “That would be mighty fine if it isn’t too much trouble.” Just thinking about it set his taste buds dancing.

  “Aren’t you going to ask about Florence?”

  Mabel’s unexpected change of subject twisted his insides. Maybe he wasn’t so hungry after all. “I suppose she’s on the way to Chicago. Don’t figure there’s need to talk about what’s done.”

  “She caught the stage all right.” Mabel stared at him as if she was trying to gauge his reaction.

  He shrugged and led the horse into the barn. No need to rehash what couldn’t be helped. So Florence was really gone. His loss hit him like a fist to the chest. He stopped a moment to ease the impact. She wouldn’t be coming back. He gulped a deep breath past his pain and trudged on.

  After unhitching the horse and rubbing him down, Will poured out a measure of grain then turned him out into the pasture. He tinkered around with one thing and another in the barn finding nothing important to do, but not wanting to go into the house and listen to Mabel talk about Florence.

  As the dinner bell rang, the clopping of horse’s hooves came to a stop outside. “Hey, Aunt Mabel. Got enough fixed for us, too?”

  Able and Faith no doubt.

  “Sure do. Come on in.” Mabel sounded far too cheerful. “Well, look who’s coming there. Looks like the whole clan’s riding in.” Her laughter rang out. “Good thing I fixed a big pot.”

  A horse neighed, answered by another. Zack called out and Josh answered. The girls’ voices blended with his sons’, but he couldn’t distinguish who said what. Their voices all became a blur of laughter and chatter as Will froze in place. He weighed his growling stomach against the urge to hide away from anyone who might mention Florence. Might? There was a yard full who would want to know where she was, and the boys would soon be coming into the barn anyway. As a ragged sigh rushed out, he threw his hammer on the workbench. Couldn’t a man have any peace and quiet anymore? Of all times for everyone to converge on him!

  He straightened his spine and strode to the door determined to keep his feelings private. He wasn’t about to cower in his barn. “Well, look who’s come for supper, Mabel. I hope you’ve got plenty.”

  “Enough for this bunch.” Mabel grinned at the group, looking as pleased as if she’d gathered them there.

  Will cast a suspicious glance toward her. When would she have had the time? “Seems strange you all coming at the same time.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Josh looked at his brothers then back at Will. “Tempe mentioned we should see how you’re doing, and I agreed.”

  “Yeah, that’s why we’re here.” Zack slipped his arm around Ida. They shared a loving look.

  Will held out both arms. “As you can see I’m fine.” He turned to his oldest son. “So Able, did you and Faith come to see about my health too?”

  Able looked at his wife while one eyebrow rose. “Uh, not exactly.” He turned back toward Will. “But we’re sure glad to see you looking so well.”

  “It’s my fault we’re here.” Faith stepped close to Able. “I … ah, I sort of burned our supper.”

  Able snorted then slipped his arm around Faith and pulled her closer. “It’s charcoal, but for a good cause.” He looked around at all the expectant expressions as Faith seemed awfully interested in her clasped hands. A wide grin spread across his face. “She got interested in cutting up some cloth for little sleeping gowns.”

  Tempe squealed and bounced across the yard to grab Faith. “I’m going to be an aunt.”

  “So am I.” Ida moved forward for a three-way hug as the two younger boys congratulated their older brother.

  Will held back and shared a smile with Mabel. Faith and Able didn’t know how much he needed this right now, but Mabel probably did. How he wished Florence could be here to share his joy.

  ~*~

  “Oh-h-h.” Will rolled from one side to the other. The burning in his chest made it impossible to sleep. He looked at the window. Still dark outside. If he could get out a good burp some of that pain might leave with it. While he waited for another pain to move through his chest he brought Florence to mind. Maybe the
Lord would take him home tonight. Would she miss him? Going to his heavenly home didn’t excite him the way it should. He’d rather have Florence and a healthy heart. Then he wouldn’t have let her leave his side.

  The kids had asked after her as he’d known they would. Didn’t make it any easier, but he’d told them she went back to Chicago. Mabel hadn’t said much. She probably missed her too. No wonder his heart was acting up again. Lord, I’m ready to go if You’re ready for me. But if not, help me get over Florence. Be with her and let her be happy there in that big city.

  As the night wore on, Will shifted positions more times than he could count and never found relief. When he woke to the early morning light coming through his window, he shook his head. How he’d managed to return to sleep with all that burning in his chest, he didn’t know.

  The rest of the week fell into a sort of pattern. He worked when he could, ate enough of Mabel’s good cooking to help him forget Florence no longer sat across the table from him then fought the pain in his chest that seemed to get worse each day.

  He sank to his easy chair one day after dinner and leaned forward pressing a hand against the middle of his chest as the pain nearly took his breath away.

  “I’m hitching up the buggy, and we’re going to the doctor.” Mabel hustled from the room before he could stop her.

  He shook his head. Nothing the doctor could do, but once Mabel got her mind set, there was no stopping her. He pushed from his chair and followed, shuffling his feet behind her.

  “Won’t do much good to make this trip to town.” Will frowned at his older sister as she scrambled to claim the reins, refusing to let him drive. “If I’m dying, there’s nothing Doc Brown can do.”

  “Maybe you aren’t dying.” Mabel’s words came across as rough as her driving. “You’ve already outlived his prediction.”

  They argued their opinions all the way to town. Once on Main Street, Mabel guided the horses to the doctor’s house and stopped in front. “Come on. Let’s find out what he has to say.”

  Will harrumphed. He already knew what the doc would say. Soon Mabel would see their trip to town had been a waste of time.

  Twenty minutes later, she stepped ahead of Will into Barlow’s Tack and Trade. “Humpf! That man’s a quack. I never before heard such hemmin’ and hawin’ around as he was doing. You need to go to a real doctor.”