Bound by Honor Bound by Love

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  Relaxing at the compliment, she smiled. “I think so, too.”

  “The chief wants me to go on a fast.”

  Since he hesitated to say more, she asked, “When does he want you to go?”

  “Today.”

  “Today?” But they’d only gotten married yesterday, and he spent most of the night away from her. Even if she wasn’t sure what to say around him, she wanted to be with him.

  “Yes. He is determined I leave today.” He paused. “I will return in a week.”

  Her countenance fell. An entire week? How was she supposed to be away from him that long?

  “I asked him if I could do this at another time, but he said no. He wants me to seek a vision. He thinks the spirits might reveal their will for our people. The chief has proposed something that will likely upset some.” She waited for him to explain what that something was and who it would impact, but he didn’t. “I hope the spirits tell me what he wants isn’t necessary. I’d like there to be another way to benefit our people, if possible.”

  “Then what the chief wants is serious,” she softly said, wondering what it could be and then wondering if she even wanted to know.

  “Yes, it is.”

  She took a deep breath and looked at her husband. She wasn’t sure, but she sensed that he was afraid of what the chief wanted and that worried her. It was better to be away from him for a week if he could receive a vision where he got a better answer. “You have to go.”

  “You aren’t upset?”

  “No. You need to do what you can for the benefit of our people.”

  It seemed like he wanted to say something, but then he closed his mouth and nodded. He continued strolling down the path, so she went with him, content to remain in silence. He’d be gone for a week. It wasn’t something she relished, but she married him knowing his position required him to spend a lot of time doing the chief’s bidding. And the chief wasn’t a man to be denied.

  Besides, she had the rest of her life to be with Citlali. She could give him up for one week, especially since he loved her. Content, she turned her attention back him.

  Chapter Four

  Citlali sat outside his teepee. The fire he built kept him warm despite the snow surrounding him. Out here on the prairie, he was completely isolated from other people, something he often sought…but not today. He didn’t mind the cold or the fact that he hadn’t eaten in two days. The hunger pains had long ago stopped bothering him. Fasting was a good way to obtain a vision, but he didn’t think it would come right away.

  Closing his eyes, he listened to the sound of the breeze rustling the tree branches. An animal’s footsteps crunched the snow from several feet away. Clouds blocked the sun, and he could smell the impending snow that would soon fall. The temperature would drop, but he’d stay warm in the buffalo blankets he had in his teepee.

  He sighed. He wished he’d be staying warm with Onawa. He missed her, and he didn’t want to miss her as much as he was. She was a part of him. She might have even been a part of him before they got married, but she was much more so now that they’d shared a bed together. Why getting married should change things so much, he didn’t understand. It didn’t seem that things should be that different since he’d only been with her one night.

  He opened his eyes and stared into the fire. He wanted more than one night with her. He wanted to take her from the tribe and bring her here with him, but he’d never get a vision that way. A vision required fasting and solitude. Besides, if he thought about it, putting some distance between them was good for their marriage. He didn’t want to be weak. Next time he was with her intimately, he’d be able to restrain himself so he didn’t appear so needy. He hadn’t been prepared for lovemaking their first time together, but he would be in the future.

  She always smiled at him in a way that made him feel as if he was the most important man in the world. There was a certain amount of respect and pride in the way she looked at him, and she seemed to care for him, which was even better. While most people granted him the respect associated with his standing, only his mother, aunts, and the chief genuinely liked him. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin his relationship with Onawa.

  The day would come soon enough when he could go home and be with her. He just needed to remember to watch what he said around her. Then everything would be alright.

  ***

  “I still can’t believe the chief made Citlali leave to seek a vision,” Woape said as she combed her one-and-a-half-year-old daughter’s hair. “You’d think the chief would give a newly married man more time to get acquainted with his bride.”

  Onawa looked up from Woape’s youngest daughter who was sleeping in her arms. The baby was content, and she couldn’t help but think she might be holding her own child before the year was up. All the women in her lodge were fruitful. It was one of the things Citlali’s clan and the chief found desirable when they looked to pair him up with a wife. She wanted to please him and the chief with a baby. Then they would know they didn’t make a mistake in choosing her.

  “The chief has a serious matter to consider,” Onawa told her sister. “Citlali is concerned for the tribe. I wish to support him.”

  Woape sighed as she braided Penelope’s hair. “I hope he’ll make you happy.”

  “He already does.” She bit her lower lip, considered her words, and then decided she might as well tell her sister the good news. Leaning forward, she added, “He said he loves me.”

  Dropping the beaded ribbon she was ready to put in her daughter’s hair, Woape stared at Onawa. “He actually said the words?”

  “He did. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  “I didn’t think he could feel love.”

  “Of course, he can feel love,” Onawa replied with a giggle. “He’s human, isn’t he?”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes he doesn’t seem like it.”

  “Well, of course, he’s human. He experiences emotions like we do.”

  Woape picked the ribbon back up and wove it through her daughter’s braid. “If you say so.”

  She refused to let her sister’s disbelief ruin her good mood. In four days, Citlali would return to her—hopefully with good news from his vision—and he could hold her in his arms and tell her he loved her again. She couldn’t wait for him to be back. Being married to him was so much better than she thought it would be.

  Someone entered the lodge and she looked up to find Julia and Erin entering the place, each carrying one of Julia’s two-month-old boys. After they exchanged greetings, Erin sat by Woape and Julia sat by Onawa.

  She motioned to the baby in Julia’s arms. “Tate?” she asked, wondering which of the twins this one was.

  Julia shook her head. “Dakota.”

  Onawa glanced at Tate who rested in Erin’s arms. How she loved babies. She really couldn’t wait to present Citlali with his son or daughter.

  “Cold outside,” Erin said, her Mandan stilted.

  “Yes, it is,” Woape replied. “I’m glad to be inside on days like this.”

  “How is Chogan?” Onawa asked Julia.

  Julia smiled at the mention of her husband’s name. “Good.” After a moment, she asked, “How is Citlali?”

  “Good. He says he loves me,” she replied, careful to use words Julia knew.

  Julia smiled. “Yes. Good!”

  Glad that Julia was happier for her than Woape seemed to be, Onawa’s grin widened and her initial enthusiasm returned. “We speak English, if you want?” She knew it was easier for Julia to speak in her native tongue, and since Woape taught her English words, she felt she was getting sufficient at speaking them.

  “I need Mandan,” Julia replied in Onawa’s language. “Good to learn.”

  Onawa nodded. She glanced up as her father entered the lodge. His gaze went to Erin before he went over to Onawa and knelt between her and Julia.

  “I haven’t seen you since the wedding,” he told Onawa. “Are you happy?”

  “Yes. Citlali is a good husb
and.”

  “I’m glad.” He glanced at Gary who led a stallion into the stall by the entrance. “Both of my daughters have married well.”

  “Gary is a good son-in-law for you,” Onawa replied.Woape stood up to take Penelope over to Gary who took their daughter in his arms before giving Woape a kiss. As they softly talked to one another, Onawa realized she was no longer envious of their love.

  Her father patted her hand and smiled. “And Citlali is a good son-in-law. I have been blessed.” He looked back at Erin and then Julia before he spoke in English. “I cannot tell who is Tate or Dakota.”

  Onawa chuckled. “Only Julia, Erin and Chogan can.”

  “This is Dakota,” Julia told him. “Erin holds Tate.” When his gaze returned to Erin, Julia shot an amused glance in Onawa’s direction before adding, “Erin wants to learn about…about…sacred bundles. You will tell her?”

  Onawa’s eyebrows rose in interest. She wasn’t sure if Julia’s aunt really requested such knowledge, but she knew why Julia said it. Onawa’s father had been looking in Erin’s direction a lot lately but hadn’t said more than a few words to her, and if she judged right, Erin was interested in him, too. Deciding to play along with Julia’s scheme, Onawa nodded. “You know more about sacred bundles than us. You would be the right one to tell her about them.” And that much was true. Plus, Erin did ask Woape about them the other day, so it seemed like a good idea.

  “Well, if she asked…” her father said.

  “She did,” Onawa assured him.

  He cleared his throat and stood up. Onawa hid her smile as he approached Erin who blushed as he sat next to her and asked if she would like to learn about sacred bundles. She nodded her agreement, so he began telling her about them.

  Leaning toward her, Julia whispered in Mandan, “It is good. Erin needs a man.”

  “My father needs a woman, too. It’s good for him.” Onawa glanced at the two and thought it was fitting the two should be together. “They are good together.”

  Julia smiled. “Yes.”

  Onawa watched as Erin laughed at something her father said and shot Julia an amused look. She had a funny feeling that there would be another wedding soon, and she couldn’t think of a better wife for her father than Erin.

  ***

  Citlali sighed and opened his eyes. Once again, he sat in front of the fire. He hadn’t eaten anything for six days now. Tomorrow, he’d go home. Home to his lodge where Onawa would be waiting for him. Her smile would ease his loneliness. Her touch would warm him. And then, when they were in bed…

  He gritted his teeth. He couldn’t afford to lose control like he did last time. It’d be too easy to lose control again, especially after being gone for a week. Fasting always left him feeling vulnerable, which was why he didn’t like it. But it was also a good way to seek favor from the gods.

  This was not going to be one of those times. His thoughts kept going to Onawa. Whether he was awake or asleep, she occupied his mind. He thought being out in the wilderness would ease the desire to be with her, but it had the opposite effect. He only wanted her more.

  He stood up and wrapped the buffalo robe tighter around his body. Maybe a walk would help pass the time. As it was, it was early afternoon. He had the rest of the day and night to spend without her. Come first light, he’d go home.

  The snow crunched under his feet as he made the same trek he took every day to help time go faster. On this particular day, he made it around a group of trees when he saw a sleigh in the distance. His first thought was that it was Onawa, that she missed him so much she had to come see him. His heart leapt at the thought, but then, he quickly dismissed it. She didn’t have a sleigh.

  Curious, he headed for it. He pulled his robe tighter around himself since he was walking directly into the bitter wind. As the sleigh neared, he waved, hoping to get the driver’s attention. It slowed before turning in his direction. He tried to make out the people in it, but from the distance, it was still too hard to tell. Pressing forward, he trudged through the snow.

  Who in their right mind would make the trip out in the middle of nowhere in a sleigh? Sure, it wasn’t snowing today, but it was too cold to be enjoying a ride. As he came within shouting distance of it, he realized there were four people huddled together under blankets. It took him a moment to realize there was a man, woman and two children. That, in itself, wasn’t odd, but the man and woman were white and the children were Indian. He judged the boy to be about seven and the girl to be about four.

  He stopped as the sleigh pulled up to him. Upon closer inspection, he realized he’d seen them before. They were with Woape after she ran away from the tribe because she didn’t want to marry him. He had joined her brother and father to find her, and when they did find her, she’d been with this white couple. He never thought he’d see them again, but here they were.

  The man halted the horses. Citlali expected him to speak but it was the woman who spoke, and when she did, Citlali was surprised she spoke Mandan.

  “Can you understand me?” she asked.

  “Yes. I speak white man’s language, too,” he replied, his gaze returning to the two children who seemed familiar. “Who are these children?”

  “The boy is Etu and the girl is Yepa.”

  No wonder he recognized them. They were Motega and Takchawee’s children. He recalled when Hothlepoya invaded the tribe the first time. He and the Sioux with him caused a lot of destruction in their search for Woape. Motega died while defending the tribe, and as for Takchawee… She never should have left the lodge the men were protecting. But she did and she took the children with her. Only, while they found Takchawee’s body, they never did find the children.

  Turning his gaze back to the boy who was the oldest, he asked, “How did you end up with these white people?”

  The boy’s lower lip trembled and tears filled his eyes. The woman hugged him and sighed. “He has nightmares,” she explained. “We thought they would go away, but they haven’t. He won’t tell us how he and his sister ended up on the orphan train. You see, we adopted them two years ago, and for a while, everything was fine. It wasn’t until three months ago that the nightmares started. He used to talk all the time, but he doesn’t say much anymore. Yepa was too young to remember anything. We hope that by going to the tribe they came from, we can find answers to help him.”

  “Etu and Yepa come from my tribe,” Citlali told her. “I knew their parents. Their father was honorable. A good hunter.” He looked at the boy. “Your father was a good man. Your mother was a good woman. They are missed. You and Yepa have been missed, too.”

  The boy remained close to the woman as he turned his tear-filled eyes in Citlali’s direction.

  Knowing nothing he could say would bring Etu’s parents back, Citlali patted his shoulder and turned his attention to the white man and woman. “You will want to go to my tribe. I will go there tomorrow. You are welcome to stay with me tonight. You look too cold to keep going.”

  “Thank you,” the woman replied.

  The woman and children scooted over to make room for him. Since the way back to the teepee was a good distance, he accepted her offer and sat in the sleigh.

  “My teepee is in that direction,” Citlali said, pointing north.

  As the man urged the horses forward, the woman turned her attention to Citlali. “My name is Penelope Hunter, and this is my husband, Cole.”

  Citlali nodded to them. “I’m Citlali.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Cole called out.

  Citlali looked at the children who remained huddled on either side of Penelope. They stared up at him with wide, brown eyes. Though it wasn’t something he often did, he offered them a smile in hopes of putting them at ease. The poor children were scared, but they weren’t scared of Cole or Penelope. He wanted to assure them that they had nothing to worry about, but he figured they’d have to see it for themselves to understand how excited the people in the tribe would be to see them.

  Chapter Fiv
e

  Onawa’s heart raced when she heard that Citlali had returned. She glanced at Amata in excitement and set the spoon down from the pot where she’d been stirring their food. “Where is he?” she asked Citlali’s brother who’d come into the lodge to make the announcement.

  “He’s in the chief’s lodge,” he replied. “He didn’t come alone. He brought a white couple with him, and they have Etu and Yepa with them!”

  Citlali’s mother gasped. “Etu and Yepa? Motega and Takchawee’s children?”

  “Yes,” he affirmed.

  “Can it really be?” one of Citlali’s aunts asked, her hand pressed to her chest.

  “There’s only one way to find out,” his mother said. “We must see them.”

  Nodding, Onawa joined Citlali’s mother, brother, and one of his aunts in getting ready to leave while the others decided to stay in the lodge to finish preparing the meal. She wrapped the buffalo robe around herself to keep warm and followed them out of the lodge. Though she was excited to see the missing children, she couldn’t wait to see Citlali again. The week apart from him had been a long one. Knowing he loved her quickened her steps as they made their way to the chief’s lodge.

  His mother looked over at her and smiled. “You will please him when he sees you. You look lovely.”

  “Thank you,” she replied, pleased by her words.

  As soon as they reached the lodge, she took a deep breath to calm herself enough so she wouldn’t run into her husband’s arms. He stood by the chief, looking much better than she remembered. Not that he didn’t make her weak in the knees in the past, but seeing him as her husband made her pulse race even faster.

  She moved aside to get a better look at him. The others around her were looking expectantly at the white man and woman who were with Etu and Yepa. She didn’t remember them very well, but she recalled the tragedy of their parents’ deaths and the time when the men searched for the children. It was amazing the children survived. She wondered how they ended up with the white couple, so she focused on what the white woman was telling the chief.