Cowboy Up

by Stacy Finz

  “I watched Aubrey the other night. The woman is so damned in love with you that it filled Jace’s entire kitchen. And I know you, Cash. I know you like you were my own brother. You’re every bit as in love with her as she is with you.”

  Sawyer slung his briefcase strap over his shoulder and headed for the door. “If you let her go, you’ll be sorry. For once in your life, let your heart lead you instead of your insatiable need to save the planet. Take a chance on love and cowboy the fuck up.”

  Cash watched Sawyer hike across the field. His cousin ought to stick to writing and not tell people how to live their lives, especially because Sawyer wasn’t exactly a poster child for perfection. As far as Cash could tell, his cousin had no love life.

  “Okay, I’m ready.” Ellie came into the kitchen in a pair of riding pants and her equestrian boots. Cash reminded himself to take her to Tractor Supply for cowboy boots and a few pairs of Levi’s the next time they were in town.

  “Then let’s go.”

  They walked to the barn, and Cash saddled up Sugar and Amigo. He helped Ellie onto Sugar’s back even though she was perfectly capable of doing it herself and mounted his own horse. They walked through the meadow at a leisurely pace.

  “What’s wrong, Dad? You seem sad.”

  “I do?” He forced a smile. See, nothing but happiness.

  “Are you and Aubrey in a fight?” She clicked her tongue to bring Sugar up alongside Cash.

  “Not a fight. She’s got a job offer in Las Vegas. I guess I’m a little sad that she’ll be leaving.” Yet she’d stay if he asked her too.

  “Are you going to move to Las Vegas to be with her?”

  “First of all, it’s we. Wherever I go, you go. At least until you’re thirty-five. Then you can live wherever you want. But no, we’re not moving to Las Vegas.”

  “Why not? Don’t you want to be with her?”

  Cash exhaled and glanced over at Ellie. “It’s complicated.” Because how did you explain to a twelve-year-old the complexities of an adult relationship?

  “What’s so complicated about it?” She leaned over Sugar’s head and swatted away a horsefly. “Either you want to be with her or you don’t.”

  Cash laughed to himself, because the simplicity of her analysis made him think that perhaps she was the adult here. “How about you? Do you want to be with Aubrey?”

  “Me?” Ellie asked, confused. “What do I have to do with it?”

  He chucked her on the chin. “Everything. We’re a team now, which doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll choose my girlfriend based on your opinion, but I sure couldn’t be with someone who didn’t meet your approval. Your view matters. A lot.”

  “It does?”

  He nodded. “I hope that when it comes time for you to pick a boyfriend, my opinion will matter a lot too.”

  “I thought you were going to beat up my boyfriends.”

  Cash tugged her ponytail, which she’d pushed through the back strap of her riding helmet. “Yep, to bloody pulps.”

  She giggled, and the sound of it was like sunshine. Pure sunshine.

  “I like Aubrey,” she said. “I think you two should stay together. But I’d rather we lived at Dry Creek Ranch instead of Las Vegas, even though I’ve never been there before. And if you guys ever have kids, that you won’t forget me.”

  Cash pulled back on his reins. “Forget you? Ellie, I could never forget you. Ever. You don’t really think that’s possible, do you?” Ellie looked away, and Cash knew instantly that his daughter had thought about it. Worried.

  He slipped his finger under her chin and turned her so she was facing him. “Ellie, listen to me. No one, ever, will come between us. No one can take your place. And if I ever have another child—which, by the way, we’re getting way ahead of ourselves here—we’ll be a family. All of us. And I’ll love you the same as I always would. It’s you and me, kid, until the end of time.”

  Ellie’s eyes watered and she swallowed hard. “Promise?”

  “With everything I’ve got.”

  “Then in that case, I think you and Aubrey should for sure be together.” She sniffed, and he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Are you going to tell her not to take the job or are we moving to Las Vegas?”

  “Don’t know yet, kiddo.” But the fact was, he suddenly knew with every fiber of his being.

  * * * *

  Cash was waiting on Aubrey’s porch when she got home. It was almost dark, and under the porch light, he looked tired and a little ratty, if truth be told.

  “Have you been drinking again?” she asked and climbed the stairs.

  “No, but a shot of Jim sounds good right now. How ’bout you? You climb into any windows today?”

  “Nope. I’m retired from that sort of thing.” She passed by him and started to unlock the door of her cabin, hoping he’d get the point and go away.

  “We’ve got to talk.”

  This was the part of the program where he apologized for not being in to her as much she was in to him. She knew the spiel, had heard it a dozen times before. “Whatever you have to say, I’m not in the mood to hear it. Let’s just promise to be friends forever and call it a day.”

  “I don’t want to be friends,” he said, which was pretty shitty. Then again, neither did she. It would hurt too much.

  “Okay, then let’s send each other cards at Christmastime. That’s nice and impersonal.” For some reason, her damn key wouldn’t work, or maybe it was because her hands were shaking.

  He got up, crossed over to the door, and touched her arm ever so slightly. “Please. Just hear me out.”

  The crickets played a sad country song, because Aubrey knew this wasn’t going to end well. Still, she would listen to what he had to say, even though she should slam the door in his face. For hours, she’d been aimlessly driving around, trying to imagine life without Cash. Without Ellie. And all it brought was sorrow. A sorrow that burrowed deep inside her gut and cut like a knife to her soul.

  “Did you accept the offer?” he asked.

  Not yet, but she planned to first thing tomorrow. “We’re negotiating.” The fact was, she would take the offer just the way it was, because any salary was better than staying in Dry Creek and having to see Cash every day, living his life without her. That would be a special kind of hell.

  “Don’t take the job,” he said.

  At first, she didn’t think she’d heard right. “Excuse me?”

  “Don’t take it, or take it, but take us with you.” He maneuvered her into one of the rocking chairs, crouched down, and took her hand in his. “I love you, Aubrey.”

  “A few hours ago, you said it wouldn’t work.” The man was mystifying.

  He took off his cowboy hat and ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t give a damn what I said before. I was wrong. As long as you’re willing to take us on, we’ll make it work. I love you, Aubrey. I love you so much, it’s making me crazy.”

  She longed to kiss him, to touch him to make sure he wasn’t a mirage, something she’d conjured up because she wanted him so much, she’d become deeply delusional. To test it, she put her finger on his lips. They were soft and moist and oh so real. “Why did you say no before?”

  What’s the matter with you? she chided herself. Just take what he’s offering, you fool.

  But she’d done that with Mitch. She’d settled. And if Cash wasn’t sure, or didn’t really love her, he’d just be settling. And while losing Mitch had been the best thing that had ever happened to her, finding out later that Cash wasn’t in it for the long haul would destroy her. It would leave her crushed beyond repair.

  So she repeated the question: “Why, Cash? Why the sudden turnaround?”

  He stood up and pulled her out of her chair and into his arms. “Because the prospect of loving and losing you scares the shit out of me. I’ve got complications,
Aubrey. A daughter, a ranch that’s a few months away from foreclosure, and a career that’s over because of a case that made me question everything about myself, including my ability to protect the people I love. I have no job and a future that’s hazy at best. The only thing I can see clearly is you.

  “You’re my future, Aubrey. You and Ellie. You’re my heart, my life, my everything. Please say I’m yours.”

  “You are.” The lump in her throat was so large, she could barely get the words out. “I love you, Cash. I love you so much, and Ellie too. You and she are my future.”

  Aubrey wrapped her arms around his neck, because all she wanted to do was to feel him. Feel the shelter of his arms and the warmth of his chest and the beating of his heart. He tightened the embrace, and she hung on with all her might.

  “What do we do now?” she whispered.

  His lips curved up into a smile. A beautiful smile that she traced with the tip of her finger as her heart hammered in her chest.

  “We do this.” He kissed her, the hot pull of his mouth making her delirious with love.

  Epilogue

  “Oh boy.” Aubrey looked around Cash’s new office and grimaced. “I’ve got my work cut out for me.”

  “Don’t go overboard.” He kissed her. Her kisses had become an addiction with him. Scratch that; she’d become his addiction. “I’m an inspector for the Bureau of Livestock Identification, not a corporate executive.”

  “No worries. I’ll decorate it superalpha. Lots of wanted posters of cattle rustlers.” She rolled her eyes, and he chuckled.

  He placed a box on his desk and figured he’d get around to unpacking eventually. He’d been on the job three weeks and had been called out so many times, he hadn’t had a chance to move into his new office.

  “Come here.” He crooked his finger, and Aubrey slid into his arms. “Don’t worry about the office; focus on your business—and on us.”

  Back in the town’s good graces, she’d started her own design company, teaming up with an architecture firm in Nevada City. She had projects in three counties. In Aubrey’s spare time, she put the finishing touches on her cabin to make it more comfortable for the three of them. Cash and Ellie had moved in and were planning to someday build their dream home.

  “I can multitask, you know?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and reached up to kiss him. “You deserve a nice office, a manly office.”

  “What I don’t deserve is you.” She was the best thing that had ever happened to him besides Ellie. Sometimes, he’d wake up in the morning and hold her close just to make sure she was real. And the nights…she fulfilled every one of his fantasies. Needless to say, the nightmares of Casey Farmington were gone.

  Ellie’s too.

  During the holidays, he planned to take his daughter to Boston to visit her mother’s grave. But for now, she was settling in nicely at school. She, Travis, and Grady took the bus together every morning and either he, Aubrey, Jace, or Sawyer picked them up in the afternoon. She’d made a few nice friends, and Mary Margaret was planning to come for a week in the summer.

  Cash checked his watch. “We’ve got to get going if we want to be on time for Sawyer’s big surprise.” He suppressed an eye roll. His cousin, up to something, had been sneaking around the ranch for weeks.

  “I’m ready when you are. Should we pick up the kids?”

  “Jace got them and is meeting us at home.”

  They crossed the City Hall complex to the parking lot and drove to Dry Creek Ranch. Cash still marveled that the countryside was not only his backyard but the place where he went to work every day. Being a cow cop had its perks. Though he hated to admit it, Jace had been right. He loved the job and was currently investigating a large-scale interstate cattle-theft operation that was drawing on his experience as a special agent. And to think he’d thought his new position would be dull.

  “What are you daydreaming about over there?” He tapped Aubrey’s leg.

  She rested her head on his shoulder. “That we have a very nice life.”

  And he was going to make damned sure it stayed that way. By Christmastime, he planned to put a ring on Aubrey’s finger, and by summer to make her Mrs. Dalton. Ellie was in on the plan and was constantly showing Cash pictures of engagement rings on the Internet.

  As they passed through the ranch gates, a rush of nostalgia for Cash’s grandfather came over him. He didn’t know how long it would last, but for now, he, Jace, and Sawyer were living the life Grandpa Dalton would’ve wanted for them, and that made Cash proud.

  “Sawyer just texted.” Aubrey studied her phone. “He wants us to meet him in the south pasture.”

  “Why there?” Cash had no idea what this surprise of Sawyer’s was.

  “I don’t know. But we’ll find out soon enough.”

  Cash bypassed the cabin, taking a dirt road to an old structure that used to be the main barn for the ranch. He stared into the sun at the building.

  “Well I’ll be damned.” Someone had rehabbed the decrepit old barn. It now had new siding, a new roof, and a new paint job.

  He pulled in next to Jace’s truck, and he and Aubrey got out to find Ellie, Travis, and Grady sitting on the top rail of the fence, staring out into the distance.

  “You fixed up the barn,” Cash called to Sawyer, and Jace pointed to the field that had the kids’ attention.

  There were at least three dozen head of cattle that hadn’t been there before. Cash and Aubrey joined everyone at the fence. “These yours, Sawyer?”

  Sawyer poked Cash in the shoulder. “They’re ours, the beginning of a solid breeding herd for a cow-calf operation.”

  Cash shook his head but couldn’t help grinning. “You don’t give up, do you? Where’d you get ’em?”

  “Auction,” Sawyer said. “I did my research. The rancher who sold them was leaving the business, but he kept good records.” He watched a few stragglers that had found a patch of green grass to munch on. “They’re excellent producers. I figure we can keep some of their calves in the beginning to build the herd.”

  They still had no way of paying the property taxes, so investing in cattle seemed crazy to Cash. At the very least, it was premature until they sorted out the future of Dry Creek Ranch. He glanced at Jace, wondering if he was thinking the same thing. But his cousin had a smile on his face as big as California.

  Damned cowboy.

  Cash had to admit that their excitement was infectious, though. Even he felt a pang of anticipation at the prospect of preserving the life their grandfather had worked so hard for.

  Still, he couldn’t help being a naysayer. “How do we plan to pay for it?” he asked, feeling like a broken record.

  Sawyer hitched his shoulders. “We’ve still got a few months to figure it out. We’ll come up with something.”

  They stood at the fence a long time, gazing out over Dry Creek Ranch, remembering how it used to be.

  How it could be.

  Sawyer and Jace were right: it was a good place to raise a family.

  Cash looked at Ellie, perched on the wooden railing with her cousins, then at Aubrey, who grew more beautiful every day.

  “Yep,” he said. “We’ve got a few months. We’ll figure it out together,” because right now, his heart was so full of love that anything was possible.