Home Alone

by Todd Strasser

  Behind him the policeman hit the ice and flipped backward. Then two skaters fell on top of him.

  Kevin reached the other side of the pond and raced down the street. He passed Santa's Village and the church and had to run around the life-sized nativity scene of Joseph and Mary and the little drummer boy standing over the manger. He turned down Rivard Street and headed toward his house, cutting through backyards.

  Finally he jumped over a fence into his own backyard. He quickly pulled open the kitchen door, then slammed it behind him and leaned against it, trembling. As he slowly calmed down he became aware of something in his clenched hand. Kevin looked down. The toothbrush! He felt a new wave of fright wash over him. He really was in trouble. Not only had he made his family disappear, but now the police would be after him.

  "I'm a criminal," he whispered.

  Meanwhile, in the Bensons' house next to old man Marley's place, two real criminals were hard at work taking what wasn't theirs.

  "I'm telling you," Harry said as he dumped out the Bensons' dresser drawers on the bedroom floor. "There's something screwy about that McCallister house."

  "But we saw the lights go on," Marv said. "After the timer lights."

  "Yeah, but here's what I figure," Harry said. "These People know us burglars know about those timers. So if this guy McCallister is smart, he gets two timers. So the first one turns on a few lights and we think it's the timer. But when the second set of lights go on we're supposed to think it's real people."

  "That's pretty advanced thinking," Marv said. "I say we just forget the McCallister place."

  "I'm tellin' you, Marv, that house is ripe," said Harry.

  Just then the phone rang and the Bensons' answering machine clicked on. Both crooks stared at it.

  "Hello, you have reached the home of Bill, Betsy, Bonnie, and Barry Benson, but we're not here. Please leave your name and phone number after the beep and we'll get back to you as soon possible"

  The caller started to speak. "Hi, it's Peter McCallister again. We're at my brother's apartment in Paris. The number here is—"

  Marv stepped over and turned off the speaker. He smiled at Harry. "Okay, You're right. They're in Paris. The guy's just got two timers going. When do you want to hit the place?"

  "Suppose we finish up this side of the street first," Harry said. "Then we'll do it. Like I always say, save the best for last."

  December 23

  Orly Airport

  8:30 P.M. (Paris Time)

  Kate had put herself on standby for no less than fifteen flights back to the States and hadn't come close to getting on any of them. She couldn't stop thinking of Kevin, alone, frightened, helpless in that house. What a terrifying experience for a seven-year-old. It was probably doing irreversible psychological damage to him. She imagined coming home and finding him curled up in a corner sucking his thumb.

  Kate was starting to feel desperate. And that meant taking desperate action. A flight to Chicago was scheduled to leave in half an hour. The waiting list was so long the airline wouldn't even let her put her name on it. But there were other ways to get on board.

  Kate spotted a plump middle-aged woman carrying a heavy handbag and wearing a Chicago Cubs baseball cap. The woman was headed for the Chicago departure gate . . . until Kate stepped in her way.

  "Excuse me," Kate said. "I must get on that flight to Chicago, but there's no room. So here's my offer. I have five hundred dollars, a pocket translator, and two first-class tickets for a flight leaving next week. I'll trade it all for your coach ticket."

  The woman stopped and thought. She was looking at Kate's wristwatch.

  "Is that a real Rolex?" the woman asked.

  "Yes." Kate held up the watch. "See how the second hand sweeps instead of ticking to each second? That's how you can tell."

  The woman nodded. "What else you got?"

  "Well." Kate thought fast and then started pulling her jewelry off. "I've got this gold necklace, bracelet, and sapphire ring."

  "That is a nice ring," the woman said. Kate felt encouraged. The woman actually seemed interested. Then a portly man wearing a hearing aid and a Chicago White Sox Cap came by.

  "Come on, Irene," the man said. "They're gonna board soon."

  "Wait, Ed," Irene said. "This woman's offering us two first-class tickets to Chicago for next week, plus a ring, a pocket translator, five hdndred dollars, and—"

  "I'll throw in the Samsonite luggage," Kate offered eagerly.

  Ed took off his cap and scratched his head. "It's a nice offer, but what about our Christmas plans?"

  "Don't forget the bracelet," Kate said.

  "I didn't care for the bracelet," said Irene. Kate showed it to Ed in case he liked it. She was so close! She couldn't let them slip through her fingers now.

  "Naw, I don't like the bracelet, either," Ed said. He started to pull Irene away. "Thanks, anyway."

  "But the ring!" Kate said, following them. "You liked the ring, ma'am."

  "She's got plenty of rings," Ed said, pulling his wife harder. "Now come on, Irene. Let's go!"

  "Wait? Kate begged. "Please . . . my little boy's home all by himself. I'm desperate. I beg you. From a mother to a mother. Please?"

  "Ed?" Irene was wavering. She looked back at her husband.

  Ed tapped his ear. "Say what? Darn hearing aid went out. Come on, honey." He yanked her away.

  Kate stood in the middle of the gate area as passengers rushed past her to board the plane. She was almost ready to cry. Was there no humanity left in this world?

  December 23

  Oak Park

  3:30 P.M.

  Kevin stayed in the house. He was terrified that the police or old man Marley would get him. But there was nothing left to eat that was easily nukable or could be consumed straight from the box. And he was getting hungry.

  With about an hour of sunlight left, Kevin made a bold decision. There was a grocery store down the street from Santa's Village. If he wore a red ski hat pulled low, a passing policemen might not recognize him. As far as old man Marley was concerned, Kevin would have to take his chances.

  Kevin left his house and ran, across the street. Once he was past old man Marley's house, he started to walk backward, to make sure the old man didn't sneak up on him from behind like he had in the drugstore.

  What Kevin didn't know was that Harry and Marv had just finished ransacking the Bensons' house and were quietly backing their van down the driveway. Kevin continued to walk backward. It was just luck that Harry saw him in the rearview mirror and jammed on the brakes.

  The sound of the van skidding made Kevin jump and turn around. The van slid to a halt right in front of him. Kevin looked up as Harry rolled down the driver's window.

  "Gotta keep an eye out for traffic, son," Harry said.

  "Yeah," Marv added. "Santa don't visit funeral homes."

  Kevin just stared up at Harry. That gold tooth!

  "Step back, kid," Harry said and backed the van into the street. Kevin stood on the sidewalk and watched. It was the policeman who'd come over the other night! Only now he was disguised as a Plumber. Kevin quickly figured out that the police were wearing disguises so they could sneak up and get him for stealing the toothbrush. And he'd used it already so he couldn't even give it back!

  Harry knew the kid was watching him. He stopped the van in the middle of the street. Kevin started to walk away. He knew it was wrong to take the toothbrush, but it had been an accident. And no one should go to jail because of an accident.

  Harry frowned as he watched Kevin.

  "What's the matter?" Marv asked.

  "That kid looked at me funny," Harry said

  "You ever seen him before?"

  "I don't know," Harry said. "I saw a lot of kids this week."

  "Watch which house he goes to," Marv said.

  Kevin got to the sidewalk on the other side of the street. He peeked over his shoulder. The undercover cops in the van were still watching him. Kevin was so scared he wanted t
o cry. His house was right in front of him and he wanted to run inside, but then the cops would know where he lived. He took a deep breath and started to walk toward the corner.

  The van started to follow. Kevin glanced behind and started to run. The van picked up speed. Kevin ducked around the corner and onto the church property.

  The van turned the cornor next to the church and screeched to a stop. Harry and Marv got out and looked around. But the street was empty and the church doors were locked. The kid wasn't hiding behind any shrubs.

  "How could he disappear like that?" Harry asked.

  "Let's forget it, okay?" Marv said. "We shouldn't be chasing a kid anyway, It's like sending an invitation to the cops."

  "I just don't like the way he looked at me," Harry said.

  "Don't sweat it," Marv said. "Look, we're doin' great. We'll drop off the Bensons' stuff and come back later for the McCallister house. If no one's home we're in fat city."

  The two crooks got back into the van and drove away. Hidden in the nativity scene, Kevin waited until the van's taillights disappeared. Then he took off the drummer boy's robe and put down the drum—he had overheard every word the two crooks had said. Kevin started to run home. It was getting dark and he was too scared to go to the grocery store anyway.

  Those guys weren't policemen after all. They were robbers! They'd just robbed the Bensons' house and were planning to rob his house next!

  He let himself back into his house, He wanted to cry. Why had he been so mean to his family? Why did he have to wish that they'd disappear? His stomach growled. Kevin looked around and clenched his fist. He'd have to figure out some other way of feeding himself tonight. And he'd also have to figure out how to keep those robbers away. It was too bad he was wanted by the police, because he could sure use some help. Now he'd have to do it alone.

  He locked the front door and secured it with the chain.

  "This is my house," he whispered. "And I have to defend it."

  December 23

  Oak Park

  7 P.M.

  To protect his home, Kevin enlisted the help of the mannequins from the basement, a "laugh

  box" that belonged to Jeff and the piano in the living room. From the empty pizza boxes in the kitchen he got the phone number of Little Nero's Pizza.

  "I'd like one plain pizza," he told the man on the phone.

  "Anything to drink?" the man asked.

  "A Pepsi, please," Kevin said. "Uh, on second thought, make it a six-pack."

  "One. plain pizza, one six-pack Pepsi," the man said. "Be about twenty minutes."

  Kevin knew the key to defending his house was not to let anyone know he was home alone. And that included the pizza delivery boy. He had an idea and ran into the study.

  Kevin had just finished connecting the VCR to the TV on the kitchen counter when he heard the pizza delivery car pull up outside. He stood in the foyer and listened as the delivery boy went up the front walk and then stopped on the porch to read the note Kevin had left directing him to the kitchen door behind the house. Kevin raced into the kitchen and set the tape in the VCR to the right place in the gangster movie. A moment later the pizza boy knocked. Kevin pushed "play" and turned up the volume on the VCR.

  "Who is it?" the scar-faced gangster in the movie asked. Kevin hit "pause."

  "Little Nero's Pizza, sir!" the delivery boy outside said.

  It's working! Kevin thought as he fast forwarded the tape to the next scene and pushed "play."

  "Leave it on the doorstep and get outa here," the gangster snapped on the VCR.

  "But what about the money?" the pizza delivery boy asked.

  Kevin raced to the next place on the tape.

  "What money?" the gangster asked.

  "Well, you have to pay for the pizza," the boy said timidly. A second later Kevin hit "play" again.

  "Is that a fact?" the gangster snarled. "How much do I owe you?"

  "With the Pepsi it comes to fourteen dollars and eighty cents," the boy said.

  Kevin carefully pulled the money out of his pocket and pushed it through Ralphy's doggie door. Then he fast forwarded and hit the "play" button again.

  "Keep the change, you filthy animal," the gangster snarled.

  Outside the delivery boy picked up the bills.

  The change came to twenty cents. Cheapskate, he thought.

  Kevin let the tape run. He turned on a desk lamp he'd brought down from Buzz's room and then stood in front of it with the BB gun. The shadow he cast against the kitchen curtins made him look bigger than Captain America.

  Outside, the delivery boy saw the shadow. The gun barrel poked out ominously. On the VCR the gangster said, "I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yellow, no-good face off my property."

  The delivery boy started backing away. Sometimes this job just wasn't worth the hassles.

  "One, two! . . . ten!" the gangster shouted.

  The delivery boy turned and ran.

  Kevin stood in the foyer and listened to the sound of the delivery car's tires peeling out of the driveway.

  "It worked!" he whispered. "I actually scared someone bigger than me away!"

  He went back to the kitchen door and got the pizza and Pepsi. Now for the reward!

  * * *

  Kevin had just finished his second slice of pizza When he heard the van pull into the driveway. He jumped up and raced into the living room.

  Outside Harry and Marv quietly got out of the van. The lights were on in the McCallister house and the drapes were closed.

  "Okay, Marv," Harry said. "Get the crowbar and let's go to work."

  Marv had just come back from the van when they both heard something that made them stop.

  "What's that?" Marv gasped.

  "I don't know," Harry said. "Sounds like piano music."

  "Like a kid playing or something," Marv said. The two crooks scowled at each other.

  "We gotta check this out," Harry said.

  They crept through the shadows around to the side of the house. Suddenly Harry froze.

  "Look at that!" he whispered. In the window they could see the shadows of two people sitting in chairs, nodding their heads to a very poor rendition of "Joy to the World" on the piano. Every time the piano player hit a wrong key, the two people laughed.

  "I don't get it," Marv whispered. "Did they come home?"

  "From Paris?" Harry wondered.

  Inside Kevin nervously picked through "Joy to the World" for the third time. Near him two of his mother's mannequins sat in chairs. One was dressed in Peter's clothes, the other in Kate's. A string attached to their heads ran down to the floor and across to Kevin's ankle. By moving his foot slightly, Kevin made the mannequins' heads nod. Every time Kevin made a mistake on the piano, he reached down to the bench and pressed the button on Jeff's laugh box.

  Outside, the two crooks couldn't figure it out.

  "That was the fastest trip to Paris I ever heard of," Marv said.

  "I dunno," Harry said. "It still don't make sense."

  "Well, somebody's in there now," Marv said.

  "We gotta split before they see us."

  "Yeah," Harry said, slowly backing away.

  "We'll come back tomorrow. Maybe they'll be gone by then."

  Kevin was incredibly relieved when he heard the van pull out of the driveway. Once again he'd successfully fooled them. He was getting good at this.

  December 23

  Oak Park

  9 P.M.

  Kevin lay on his mother's bed. His mind was racing. He'd had more excitement in one day than he'd probably had in his whole life. But now he was tired and lonely. On the nightstand was a family portrait in a silver frame. Kevin picked it up. There was his mom and dad, Buzz, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. Kevin felt his eyes start to grow watery.

  "Listen, you guys," he whispered. "I didn't mean to make you disappear. Honest. If you come back I'll never be a pain again. I promise."

  He kissed the picture and put it back on the
nightstand. Then he went to sleep. With the lights on.

  December 24: Christmas Eve

  Paris 5 A.M. (Paris Time)

  In the gray of dawn at Orly Airport Kate slept across three seats in the passenger lounge, using her purse for a pillow. Overhead a loudspeaker crackled to life:

  "This is the final boarding call for American Airlines flight five-six-one to Boston, connecting to Detroit. Will standby passenger McCallister please come to the ticket counter."

  Kate rose, almost in a trance, and propelled herself toward the counter. Finally. . . she was going home . . . to her baby.

  A few miles away, in her uncle Rob's apartment, Linnie McCatlister lay awake in bed, watching the sky grow slowly brighter as a new day began. A new day without Kevin. Somewhere in the house a phone rang. Next to Linnie, Megan stirred and rolled over. The two sisters stared st each other.

  "How come you're up?" Megan asked.

  "The same reason you are," Linnie said. "I'm worried about Kevin."

  "Yeah," Megan admitted. "Hard to believe."

  "He may be a pain," Linnie said, "but look at it from his point of view. We do dump on him a lot."

  "I guess," Megan said. "All I know is I'd feel a lot better if he was here or we were there."

  Linnie nodded and got out of bed.

  "Where're you going?" Megan asked.

  "To get some orange juice," Linnie said.

  She stepped out into the hall. On the way to the kitchen she passed the room Jeff and Buzz were sharing.. Linnie peeked in. Jeff was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Buzz was snoring like a bear. Linnie went into the kitchen. She was surprised to find her father, in his robe, staring out the window.

  "Dad?"

  Peter turned around. "What're you doing up, sweetheart?"

  "Couldn't sleep," Linnie said with a shrug. "Heard anything from Mom?"

  "She just called from the airport," Peter said. "She caught a flight to Detroit. She'll be with Kevin by tonight."