Forged (Missoula Smokejumpers Book 3)
Page 12
While he wasn’t surprised at her vehemence, he was concerned about the level of fury. He slumped before walking around the island. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have invaded. I just… Well, after last night I—”
“You thought you could interfere with every aspect of my life?” she demanded.
“No, I…” He exhaled and inched closer. “Look, what happened last night was incredible. I am so happy that we—”
“Fucked? That you figured out I’m sick?” she interrupted again.
He held out his hands. “Whoa. Sick? There’s nothing about you that’s sick. My God. Did some asshole say that to you?”
She shook her head and looked down as she took a purposeful step back. “I don’t need your pity. I’m a big girl. I know I have issues.”
The words seemed to echo in his mind. He collected his thoughts and dared move closer. “Laney, you don’t have any issues. What you want, desire is amazing. I love everything about what you shared, the secrets and needs. I have them too. Don’t you see that?”
Her lower lip quivering, she looked at him then rolled her eyes. “You said those things to get me into bed.”
“Not even close, lovely lady. Not even.” When she didn’t respond, and he could see her shutting down, he walked back toward the kitchen. He certainly wasn’t good at figuring out a woman, her needs and a way to get through. After glancing at the diary, he pushed the book out of his way and stood in front of the coffee maker, then said, “You don’t understand me. There’s no way you could. I’m not even sure who I am any longer, but last night, the way we were together was special. Incredible. I’ve never let go that way.”
The tension as well as the quiet remained.
Garcia dared look in her direction and for the first time, he noticed just how terrified she seemed. Whoever or whatever reason had driven her to writing the passage, her world seemed to revolve around her anguish. He was ill-equipped to handle anything of this magnitude. “I guess I should go.”
Laney didn’t react or say a word.
So many thoughts, damning and ugly, raced through his mind, mixing with a list of questions. What had this woman gone through? Resigned that she wasn’t going to share any aspects of her private life, he walked into the living room to collect his things, stopping just after he passed her rigid body. “For what it’s worth, last night was very special to me. I don’t let go and never share my darkest desires with anyone. Ever.” When she remained quiet, he shook his head and snagged his shirt. He grabbed his boots, anger replacing concern. What the hell was he supposed to say to her? Huffing, he jerked on the boots, shirt and grabbed his jacket, heading for the door.
“I’m not who you think I am.”
Her voice was whispered yet strong, the words said with meaning. He stopped short and tipped his head, watching the way her face contorted. “Then who are you?”
She pressed her shaking fingers across her mouth before turning to face him. “Someone you don’t want to get close to. I’m not a good person.”
Of all the things she could have said to him, every admittance from being married to having children, these words were totally unexpected. He thought about the connotation, the hidden meaning then walked with purpose toward her, taking both of her arms. “I don’t know what past life you had and I’m not certain I care. What I do know is the woman standing in front of me, the beautiful creature who for just a few moments in time, allowed me in, gave me a gift. An amazing gift. That’s the woman I want more than anything to get to know. That is, if she’ll allow me to.”
Laney swallowed and lifted her head.
Even in the darkness, he could see tears in her eyes. “Oh, Laney.”
Her body continued to shake but she didn’t attempt to struggle, to leave his arms. “You could get hurt.”
“I’ll take my chances if you will.”
After studying his face, she looked down at Topper, who stood by her side, a forever companion so quiet yet so in tune to her. “You don’t understand.” She took a step away.
“Then help me to understand. Let me in. Whatever you’re facing, I’m right here.”
“You don’t know me.”
He gripped her hands, squeezing. “But I want to.”
Laney sighed, as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. “Please, just leave this alone. Okay?” She broke the hold and walked into the kitchen, gripping the counter.
Garcia had no idea what else to say or how to help her. “I need to get to the hangar. We’re working with the other team of smokejumpers today.” He could tell she was brushing tears from her eyes. “Maybe we can have dinner sometime, I mean if you wouldn’t mind.” When she remained quiet, he turned toward the door.
“Coffee. Have coffee with me at least.”
The rattle of cups as she dragged two from an upper counter seemed so forlorn, so apprehensive. He clenched his fists and watched her stilted movements as she pulled cream out of the refrigerator. There was no way he could leave like this. “Coffee. That sounds good.”
“We leave in five minutes,” Captain Phillips called out as he walked out of his office.
Garcia headed straight for his locker, keeping his head down. He was late, almost missing the ride out and knew all eyes were on him. He heard footsteps behind and jerked open his locker door, grabbing out his bag. He remained troubled by her sudden shift in personality, as if she were two distinctly different people. Even sharing coffee had been strained. At least she hadn’t thrown him out. He continued to second guess even making love with her. He shifted as he realized how much he cared. Every part of him remained tingling.
“Last night’s clothes. Let me see,” Stoker teased.
“Don’t. Okay? Just don’t say a goddamn word.” He heard the edge in his voice and remained in an altered state after leaving Laney’s house. She’d clammed up, refusing to talk about the entry in her diary, yet he knew something was terribly wrong. She was running or hiding, perhaps both.
“Whoa, dude. That bad?” Stoker leaned against the bank of lockers.
“No. Wonderful. Amazing in fact.”
“Then why the face? You look like you’re ready to kick a puppy.” He laughed then clamped the sound, coughing at the end. “Did something happen?”
“Something?” He yanked off his shirt, almost ripping the uniform as he tried to tug it over his head.
“Could be rough today. Hope you guys are in perfect form,” Cooper grinned as he patted Stoker on the back. “I heard you wanted to ask me something.”
Stoker blushed.
“Go on, ask him,” Garcia insisted. Maybe he could get his mind off his ridiculous actions.
“Now isn’t the place,” Stoker said, darting his eyes as Riker and Landen walked into the locker room.
“Oh, go on. The entire place knows that you have a baby on the way.” Landen smiled, his eyes twinkling.
“Shut the hell up!” Stoker pointed his finger at him, shaking his head.
Cooper inched closer to Stoker. “A baby? Are you freaking serious?”
“A special little baby.” Boone laughed as he slunk around Riker.
“See what I have to deal with? Couldn’t keep your trap shut!” Stoker teased as he punched Garcia.
“Just doing my job helping you celebrate.” Garcia thought about Laney. Could he ever be this happy with one woman? Shit. What the hell was he thinking?
Cooper shook his head. “Always the last to know. What do you need to ask me? Might as well get it over with.”
Garcia pushed Stoker forward. “Go on.”
Stoker’s expression turned serious. “I was wondering if, I mean you don’t have to so don’t feel obligated, but…”
“Oh, Jesus Christ. What the hell is up with you?” Garcia growled. “Ask him or I will.”
Cooper tilted his head and folded his arms.
“Fine. I’ll do it!” Stoker snapped and faced Cooper. “I was wondering, well, Jessica and I were actually, if you’d consider being the ba
by’s Godfather.”
Taken aback, Cooper opened his mouth then narrowed his eyes. “Are you serious?”
“He’s serious.” Both Landen and Riker said at the same time.
Stoker lifted his middle finger.
“I’d be honored. This is amazing. A baby!” Cooper pulled Stoker into a hug. “You old dog, you! I’m so happy for you guys.”
The men cheered, whistling until they drew the rest of the crew into the room.
“What’s going on?” Sawyer asked, looking back and forth from Stoker to Cooper.
“Just baby talk. I’ll explain later.” Riker rolled his eyes.
“Now, get out of here. We leave in one minute.” Stoker hissed.
“We’ll talk later. Right?” Cooper asked.
“You bet.” Stoker waited until the others left the room. “Did this girl blow you off? Is that what happened and why you’re in a pissy mood?”
Snorting, Garcia unfastened his jeans, his thoughts drifting back to Laney. Her smile. The way she kissed. The way she tasted. He yanked off his jeans, pitching them into the locker.
“Shit. What did those jeans ever do to you?”
Garcia shot him a nasty look. “I said. Cut it. Okay? I’m not in a joking mood.”
Stoker held up his hands. “Fine. Christ. I never thought spending time with a beautiful woman would turn you into an asshole.”
He managed to pull on his pants, fumbling to fasten and zip. He could envision her face, the fear and disgust she had. “Sorry. Look, Laney is just…” What the hell could he even say?
“Concerned? Worried about getting involved with a smokejumper?” This time, Stoker’s words were said with concern.
He thumped down on the bench and leaned forward, pulling his boots from the bottom of the locker. A moment of complete anxiety washed through every cell. “She’s going through some shit. She wouldn’t tell me, but I think she’s being chased.” The words seemed spot on.
“Chased? Why in God’s name do you say that?”
“It’s not what she said but what she didn’t say.”
“Come on, boys. The bus is leaving.” Antonio stuck his head in the door, tapping on the doorframe.
Stoker exhaled. “We can talk about this later.”
“Yeah. Not much to talk about.” How was he supposed to help her when she hadn’t told him anything? He grabbed his bag, shoved his things into the locker and slammed the door. At least he’d made dinner plans with her.
“Come on. Another fun filled day with the boys.”
Garcia chuckled and followed Stoker out of the locker room and the building. The rest of the team was already on the bus, cutting up and joking as if nothing in life mattered. Sulking, he slumped into a seat, Stoker easing beside him, and shoved his bag underneath the seat in front of him.
“Well, did you at least have anything in common?” Stoker asked.
“More than you know. She’s…” He groaned and wiped his mouth. “Just what I need.”
“That’s fantastic. Might make an old married guy out of you yet. By the way, speaking of weddings.”
He only half heard what his buddy was saying. He’d seen her house, at least a good portion. She had very little, clothes and some furniture, only a couple pictures of her dog and nothing else. Everything seemed as if she could move in an instant if required.
“That’s a shit ass phone call.”
“What?” Garcia looked up at Boone, who was gawking out the window.
“The captain. Look at his face,” Boone huffed.
Antonio leaned over his seat, glaring out the window. “Another call with the mayor’s office.”
“On a Saturday?” Stoker chided.
“Yeah,” Antonio nodded, giving him a darted glance. “Some big meeting on Tuesday. I have a bad feeling our fate is going to be determined.”
“Meaning what?” Garcia asked.
“We’re either merging with the Rattlesnakes or being shut down,” Riker’s booming voice quieted the entire crew.
“You can’t be serious?” Sawyer scoffed.
Garcia shook his head. “Heard this since the moment Stoker and I transferred here.”
“What about all the new equipment they spent money on?” Stoker snarked.
Antonio pulled away from the window. “The Wildland Management team insisted on the equipment.”
“Then they should insist on giving us some new team members,” Boone snapped.
“Not that simple. All about politics.” Antonio sat down and folded his arms.
“The captain’s back is against the wall. Why we have to make a good showing today.” Landen’s voice was quiet.
“That’s it. What the fuck do you know? You’ve been alluding to shit for days.” Riker confronted him.
“Not my place to say.” Landen gave him a hard look and slunk further into the seat.
“Here comes the captain. Shut up,” Stoker hissed.
Captain Phillips paced for a few seconds before sliding his phone into his pocket and taking long strides toward the bus. When he stepped on, he nodded toward the driver. “On our way.” He wrapped his hand around the steel pole at the front as the bus driver rolled out of the parking lot.
The entire crew remained quiet, all eyes on their captain. Garcia could tell the man was exhausted, worry lines covering his brow.
As the driver pushed down the accelerator, the captain looked up, raising his eyebrow as he looked from one jumper to the other. “What the hell is going on?”
“That’s what we wanted to ask you,” Riker said, his tone gruff.
“Meaning?” Captain Phillips shot back.
Everyone hesitated.
“Lots of rumors, Captain,” Cooper said from the back.
“Rumors. All right, boys. What the hell are you getting at?” The captain narrowed his eyes.
Garcia could tell no one wanted to say anything. “We know you’re under the gun with the mayor. What are the odds we’re shutting down?”
Captain Phillips closed his eyes and let out a long breath. “I don’t know what you’ve been hearing.”
“Enough. We know. Just spill it,” Antonio stated.
“If we need to look for a job, then we have a right to know.” Boone kept his voice low.
The captain held up his hand. “Just stop. Okay? I don’t know any details yet.”
“But you do know shutting down is a possibility,” Landen said under his breath.
Shooting Landen a harsh look, the captain shook his head, his lips thin. “Fine. The truth is, I don’t know for certain yet but shutting down the team is on the table, along with a merger and securing money for additional members. The shit is all over the place, which quite frankly pisses me the hell off.”
“Which way is the mayor leaning?” Stoker asked.
“I don’t know. I really don’t. Have a meeting with her as well as the entire city council on Tuesday, but that’s one reason these evaluations are so damn important. The decision isn’t up to me and even the mayor only has a small part in what the council can or will do to shift funds.” Captain Phillips seemed unable to make eye contact with any of them.
“Then who does?” Riker demanded.
“Yeah, who do we have to suck up to?” Sawyer half joked.
“The mayor sure as shit doesn’t know what we’re made of,” Cooper shot off.
“Then maybe we should show her,” Garcia couldn’t resist adding.
The captain smacked his hand against the metal. “Enough. Here’s what I know, and you need to keep this shit quiet. No talking with the crew of the Rattlesnakes at all. At all, gentlemen.” His words rang in the dense space.
“Sure thing, Cap’n.” Riker shook his head, his look menacing. “Not that they’re responsible for this or anything.”
“They’re not!” Captain Phillips snapped. “They’re not out there to get you, boys. Here’s the cold truth. Our auxiliary unit has been under the gun since inception. We were created after a particularly brutal ye
ar fighting fires. Some bright-eyed senator from our state pitched having another unit and the powers that be bought it. They never planned, never fully staffed and in my humble opinion, had no fucking idea what they were doing. Simple fact is, we’re here and have been. So, what now? The merger has been in discussion for eighteen months, but the kicker is, the Rattlesnakes are overstaffed.”
“Hence the concept of shutting us down,” Stoker’s solemn voice rung out.
The captain nodded, his face pensive. “Yeah. Exactly. The only way to win this battle is to beat their test scores. Then, we’ll have a leg to stand on.”
“And how are we doing so far?” Antonio asked after a few seconds of tense silence.
“Not bad at all. Neck and neck and given their numbers to ours, I’m damn proud of you.” Captain Phillips cracked a smile.
“But?” Riker asked through clenched teeth.
The captain moved down the aisle until he faced Riker. “But, without solid numbers today, and I mean way above the Rattlesnake crew, I’m not certain that it matters.”
“Fuckin’ great,” Garcia mumbled.
“Just do your best. That’s all I ask. I’m proud of you and what we’ve accomplished. I won’t let this go. That, I do promise you.” Captain Phillips’ voice held conviction.
Garcia could see his entire world spinning out, forcing him to make decisions he’d been terrified of making. Perhaps Karma was trying to kick him in the ass. Then again, maybe that wasn’t so bad.
Laney forced a smile on her face as she gathered the two coffee cups. She refused to allow herself to think about the stupid words she’d said to Garcia. She’d almost ended something incredible before it began. And all because of her ridiculous fears. Damn the shit. Damn the past. Damn the monster.
After glaring at the diary, she grimaced. “You’re the troublemaker.” Chuckling, she swirled the pen in her fingers as she stared at the blank page. Yes, the man had violated her privacy, but did she actually care? She rubbed her finger across the page and wrote in a flurry.
I had an incredible evening with Garcia. He’s so strong and loving, dominating in a way that left me breathless. I never expected to feel this way, so alive, so full of passion. He looked right through me, pegging the woman inside and one who needed a hard spanking. I can’t believe I allowed him to spank me and naked. Then his kisses. They were so incredible, the way his fingers touched me, his breath skipping along my skin. I’ve never been so happy.