Sunlit Shadow Dance

by Graham Wilson

  “So my best guess it is Susan. But if you go there expecting to find the person you once knew she is no longer there. The best way I can describe her now is she has a calm flat surface, as if she is happy and at peace. But it is like the surface of a frozen pond, a thin shiny layer which covers something else underneath which she cannot see. And, if you look hard, you start to see cracks running through everywhere, just below the surface. It is like, if someone broke the ice on a pond, and smashed it into a hundred pieces. Then the bits of ice refroze and made a new surface, but underneath are all the broken bits. With the cracks running all through it you can no longer see anything reflected in it properly, just mixed up bits. It has shapes that look familiar but with most bits from before jumbled and gone.

  “So now there is this person who looks like Susan and who sounds like Susan, but it isn’t really the Susan that any of us knew. And this new Susan is like a piece of ice that is really thin. One tiny knock could break it all apart and then there would be nothing left that we know.

  “So, before I tell any of you where she was when I found her, I need you all to promise you won’t rush off to see her and make her try to remember and you will not let anyone else know where she is unless we all agree.”

  Vic looked at the stunned faces one by one, all struggling to come to grips with this new information, hope and heartbreak in equal parts. One by one they met his eyes and nodded. So he finished the story with the where.

  When he stopped talking Susan’s mother came over and sat by him, taking his hand. Her shoulders were shaking with emotion as she said, “Thank you so much for rushing back to tell us all, it means so much to me that there is hope that my daughter is still alive no matter how broken she may be inside. And not only that, but perhaps we have grand children, a double blessing. I will trust you to tell us when you think it is safe for us to go and see her. When you next see her could you please take a picture of her with her children so that we will have that to remember her by?”

  Vic had never really talked to Susan’s mother before apart from the cursory greetings. But now, as she talked earnestly, he could see Susan’s mannerisms and personality in reflection. He felt a flood of warmth for her. He started to talk to her about the children, how the boy had sat on his shoulders and patted his head like a dog, how the lady, Jane, had told him. “David has never willingly gone to another man before.” He told of how David had fallen and cut his lip at the barbeque and how he had picked the boy up and taken out his hanky to dab the blood from his cut, and then, once done, the boy had pushed away his tears and gone back to play. He said how this seemed to have happened in another life and it was hard to believe it was only last night.

  Sandy was sitting next to Susan’s mother, talking quietly to Anne. She must have caught the edge of their conversation. Now she turned to Vic and said, “Did you say you have a hanky with the David’s blood on it?”

  Vic frowned, needing to think what he had done with it. All his dirty clothes had been put in his bag in his helicopter. Then he had left them at a laundry in Cairns to collect on his return, except the clothes he was wearing now, the same ones he had worn last night. He had figured on buying another set or two of clothes in Darwin tomorrow, before he returned. He felt in his pockets. Sure enough the hanky was there with a small dark spot of blood in one corner.

  Sandy reached over and took it, looking closely. “That’s more than enough for what we need,” she said.

  Others looked at her, puzzled. They asked, “For what?”

  “To know who she is,” Sandy answered. David’s DNA is there, we have both Susan’s and Mark’s on file, and we have Mark’s uncle’s DNA on file too. We could even get yours if we needed,” she said, indicating to Susan’s mother and father.

  “So we can match this DNA to any of those other people’s and we will know whether this boy is related. It appears that there is no dispute that he is this woman’s child. So, if his DNA matches our record for Susan, or matches any of the others then we will have confirmation of the identity of the mother as Susan. If it doesn’t we will know it is not her. I am assuming we all really want to know, right?”

  Sandy looked from person to person. All thought for a minute and then nodded.

  Only Alan shook his head. “We need to think carefully before we go there. If we submit an official sample and it comes back positive, what do we do then and can we withhold the information? Both Sandy and I are officers of the crown. We will be obliged to report our findings and act on them, not to mention that these samples will have to be logged in our database when we seek to match them to Susan’s identity. There are others who will have access to that database. So once this information is in there I am far from sure we can keep this to ourselves.

  “If it is Susan I am not sure if it is in her best interests for it to come out so quickly. At the moment all we have in anecdotal information saying this person may be her. This gives me a basis for further investigation but does not oblige me to release information suggesting that it is her. A positive result changes all that.

  “If it comes through the NT laboratory system I am far from confident I could keep it hidden, even if I wanted to, or had agreement to do so from my superiors. There have already been several leaks of what was supposed to be confidential information about Susan.

  “So I, for one, don’t want to know until it is decided what to do with this information. Don’t forget there is still a warrant for Susan’s arrest from when she disappeared on bail. It was never revoked. It never seemed to matter before, but now I need to work out what to do about that before this knowledge gets outside this room.

  “So, at a minimum, I need to talk to the judge and crown prosecutor before we contemplate doing this DNA test. We need to ensure some gung ho officer does not go flying over there to arrest her, or worse for someone to leak it to the media and have a pack of journalists descend on her.

  “I think Vic should keep this as his own property for the time being. If there is to be DNA testing for now I think it would be better if it was to match the hanky to a sample from Susan’s parents, only done through a private laboratory and preferably overseas, where they cannot match it to Susan’s sample in our database.

  “If it really is her we can soon get an official sample for testing, directly from her, if it is needed.”

  Vic took the hanky back, and went to put is in his pocket. Then, as an afterthought, he handed it to Susan’s mother. “Perhaps I can leave this with you for safe keeping,” he said.

  She nodded, “Of course. I will ring you and tell you once I know a result. I understand what Alan is saying; that some people are better off not knowing right now. But I and her father need to know. I think you also need to know, even though you need to keep seeing this lady, whoever she is.”

  At first Sandy looked chagrined, but then she nodded her agreement.

  “I hate to admit to a smarter mind, but Alan is right and testing overseas is a good idea.

  “Now, before we get too much further, I have a big pot of dinner in the oven. I think we should all have a plate and a drink to take hope in this momentous occasion. It is the first time I have felt hope in a year and a half. I don’t want to get in front of myself but somehow it all fits,” she said.

  Chapter 8 - Impossible Legal Guarantee

  Vic slept on the sofa in Alan and Sandy’s flat, while Buck and Julie slept in the spare bedroom. Sandy had wanted him to take their bed but he would not hear of it. They were all so keyed up they slept poorly.

  In the early morning, an hour before dawn, he rose and walked the kilometre to Nightcliff beach, finding the walk amongst the shallows and wavelets of a far out tide somehow soothed his jangling nerves. He was bursting with impatience to get back to Cairns and find a way to do more work in the Cape so as to get the chance to see Jane again.

  He was determined to call her Jane in his mind, determined to create a new identity for this person within himself, not get drawn into an old identity and the
problems of the past. He believed there was a continuity of identity between this person and Susan. But now she was Jane, not Susan, for him and he would help her build a new life.

  But first he had promised to go with Alan to seek an urgent appointment with the police commissioner, a senior lawyer for the crown and the judge, to see if they could find an official way to maintain secrecy.

  Alan’s story would be that Vic had come to him for advice, indicating that he had some information about where Susan was but was determined not to reveal it unless he could get an ironclad guarantee from all concerned that this information would not be disclosed to anyone else without his consent.

  Alan would state he was seeking to establish a legal basis about how to maintain confidentiality so as to give Vic the certainty he needed to share his knowledge. This could then allow the information to be passed to others who needed to know such as her extended family. This would also allow Alan to make progress with his long standing investigation of where Susan had gone.

  Vic talked to himself as he walked along the beach, feeling the ideas form in his brain. He could feel steel inside, he would not give a millimetre, not without a watertight guarantee, something an independent lawyer could check and confirm; other promises were worthless.

  If not he would walk away. By tomorrow he and Jane, if he could get her to come, would have vanished again, not that he was telling Alan or anyone else this. After that the only person he would communicate with, apart from his own mother, sister and Buck, was Susan’s mother as he trusted her.

  He hoped it would not come to that, but in his mind he was clear that he would do it if it was necessary. He had learnt from Mark how to hide in plain view; now he made his own plan to disappear. He was confident he could pull it off if he must.

  He returned just as the sun was rising and showered. He borrowed some clean clothes from Alan which were near enough to his size. Alan was about to head to work, but said he would ring him with the arrangements to meet the lawyers and others as soon as he could put it together. So he, Buck and Julie shared a leisurely breakfast with Sandy to pass the time.

  While Julie and Sandy were chatting away Vic brought Buck onto the verandah so he could have a private chat. Vic found that his mind was much clearer now after his morning walk and wanted to put Buck in the picture, not that he did not trust the others but he did not want them involved, it was putting them in a bad place.

  He had this sense it now rested with him to ensure this person’s safety, Susan or Jane, he would not leave this on trust to others.

  He knew the others meant well. But he did not trust their ability to keep the lid on this. So despite whatever promises might be made his sense was that, now that he had found her, it would be too easy for others to find her through him. His flights last week could be readily tracked by the police as he had logged them with flight control. That meant any half-smart journalist could do it too.

  No matter what promises of secrecy were given, he sensed that too many officials would get to know for it to stay secret for long. Even if people did not know exactly where to look there were not that many communities in Cape York. So it would not take long to check them all out.

  So, while he had said he would go to meetings that Alan arranged this morning, he had already decided that he would be on the lunch time flight to Cairns and by tonight would be back in the community. He decided that his helicopter was too traceable. It would have to stay in Cairns; he would get a cheap set of wheels.

  That way he could drive back there tonight and, if he could convince Jane to come away, they would be gone by morning. They would vanish into the big population spread out along the east coast of Australia.

  What he needed was a bit of help with the arrangements, someone to look after the chopper once he disappeared, ideally someone who could buy him a cheap set of wheels in another name, and also a person who he could trust as a relay contact. Buck seemed like his best option here.

  He also had a plan to throw a false trail, knowing that, despite his care, someone might hear a rumor that Susan had reappeared and try to follow him to her. One of his Alice Springs mates, another half aboriginal bloke with a dash on Indian was almost a dead ringer for him. Vic had a passport with his mother in Alice, from when he had done his one and only overseas trip to Bali with this mate. He would ask his mother to get Ravi to go overseas using Vic’s passport and return on his own one. He had even talked to his friends about getting away to Canada to start a new life, so it made a plausible destination. His mate should enjoy a couple weeks there on a holiday at Vic’s expense then the Vic identity could vanish and Ravi could return to Oz under his own name. It seemed straight forward, if it was not quite legal who was to know and his mother could arrange it on the quiet.

  So he explained his logic to Buck; that he needed to arrange them both to disappear for a while. That would give Alan and others time to sort out the legal issues, hopefully get a new real identity for Jane, clear up any arrest warrant and bail issues so that the police and media lost interest and let them quietly get on with their lives.

  If they had time alone, he thought Jane would come to trust him and he could better protect her. Maybe in time it would not matter if her identity became known. But right now, it needed to stay buried; anything else was like a fuse burning on dynamite.

  Buck nodded, “Yes I can see that now, perhaps we should never have come to Darwin, it was my first instinct but perhaps it was wrong.”

  Vic said, “No, you were right; it was good we came, particularly before Susan’s parents left. They needed to know, Alan and Sandy needed to know, I am glad they all know now.

  “But it was always silly of me to think she could stay hidden for long in such a small place. The safest place for now is where there are lots of other people; it is much easier to hide in a crowd. So that is what I am going to do. I don’t know where yet, but I need you to be my contact to the rest of the world. At the moment there are three things I need. The first is for someone to take over my helicopter and pay its running costs, hopefully enough to cover the mortgage. Perhaps one of the big stations around here can make use of it, and make the loan payments as the price.”

  Buck nodded, “Yep that should not be too hard, we can do that at VRD if needed, just send me the account details for the payments.”

  Vic continued, “Then I need a set of cheap wheels, nothing fancy, just a reliable old sedan from a car yard in Cairns which I can collect this evening. Best if it is not in my name as that will make it harder to trace me. Can you sort that if I arrange to give you the cash?”

  Buck nodded again.

  “And lastly I need an ongoing way to access my money without going to an ATM, or bank. My mother has an account which I put twenty thousand in, kept safe for a rainy day. So if I ring through instructions of where I am each month can you get her to start drawing out the money and sending it to me.

  “I think a couple thousand for the car and another couple thousand a month should be enough, though I might need more from time to time, like to rent somewhere. Once I get a steady cash job I should not need it any more. I also need someone to keep track of what is happening up here, any court cases or other things like that. You might also tell Alan and Sandy in general terms what I have done, not the specifics, but enough so they don’t worry. I will also need Susan’s family’s address in England so that I can get in contact with them if I need to.”

  Buck nodded. “Sounds like you will owe me a whopping commission by the end of all that, but it does not sound too hard, all in all. So leave it with me. I will text your mobile this afternoon with the car and parents’ contact details. You should buy a new SIM today and send me the number, just in case the old number is used to track you.”

  Vic said, “Oh, one more thing for your and for my mother’s ears only right now. I want to fake my departure to Canada from Cairns. I have a mate that could do it; he looks just like me and could leave on my passport and come back on his own. That way a
ny serious journalists that hears a rumor about Susan and tries to get to her through me, will find I am officially out of the country. My mother can organize the trip part, but what I need is for you to put the word out in a couple weeks that this is what I have done, it will give a reason for why I have offloaded my helicopter and gone away.”

  Buck said, “God you have it all planned out, vic. Mark would be proud of your brilliance; it is seriously sneaky and no doubt illegal, though that never stopped Mark in his schemes.

  “While you are on a roll why don’t you just hit the road, get on your way back to Cairns. I think there is a half ten flight you can catch. I will go with Alan to any needed meetings. I can relay the information, nice and general about what we know. That will put another layer to separate you and slow down any traces. After all, Mark made us jointly responsible for this girl’s welfare. If you take care of her I can look after the rest.”

  With that they shook hands, Vic made his brief goodbyes and was on his way. He knew he could trust his friends to let nothing slip.

  He first went to Casuarina, had a super short haircut, and bought some new sets of clothes and a new phone. Then he withdrew all the available cash in his account. By eleven he was winging his way back to Cairns.

  Chapter 9 - Trust

  It was after 9 pm that night before Vic reached the community where Jane lived. He could feel fatigue washing through him as the lights of the town came into view, but he was driven on by a surge of nervous anticipation.