Space Cadets

by Adam Moon

  The ship was small on the inside. The layout was like this: The center of the ship was a full four feet from the outer hull, walled in. Between the walls of each was a narrow walkway that probably also served as a fallback hull if the outer one was breached. So we walked al the way around the perimeter of the center of the ship before we realized we’d just walked in a circle. Peggy was already cutting through the walls to the inner sanctum when we caught up to her.

  Once again, she stood back and kicked with all her might. She stepped aside so Rick could take a quick peek.

  He pulled his head out and said in a saddened voice, “All clear.”

  I went through last. What I saw was a small command station, with odd consoles and seats, all designed specifically for the alien anatomy.

  Three aliens were seated, slumped over, clearly recently deceased.

  Rick lifted the chin of one of them up with his gun and then screamed, “Oh fuck. Oh shit. It’s the Enemy.”

  Peggy fired a shot into the back of the head of the dead alien closest to her and Rick blasted the one he was with in the neck. Not to be outdone, I reluctantly put my gun to the side of the remaining aliens head, squeezed my eyes shut, and squeezed the trigger. I didn’t enjoy it.

  The entire process was panic-driven madness. We were so programmed to kill them on sight that none of us even considered how barbaric our actions really were.

  The Enemy is easily recognizable given they appear almost exactly how Hollywood portrayed them hundreds of years ago. They are tall and lean with long, spindly necks. They have those long oval-shaped heads with big eyes, except in reality their eyes aren’t pitch black, but emerald green. And instead of having pasty white skin like in the movies, theirs is leathery and black like a lizard’s. They are hairless and completely nude. It was impossible to discern if these were males or females. Maybe the Enemy has neither gender, but something androgynous instead. I’m open to the idea that I just don’t have enough information to decide either way.

  There was a scuffling sound coming from the far end of the command station. It was darker back there but when Rick turned that way and increased the intensity of his lights, we saw one of the bastards fiddling with switches and stuff.

  Rick ran at the alien and grabbed it by the throat. He hauled its naked ass over by me and Peggy and set it down in the lone empty seat.

  The alien looked at the defiled bodies of its comrades and hissed at us.

  Then something weird happened: The alien’s throat moved and its lipless mouth parted, but a voice issued from the ship, rather than from the alien.

  The ship said to us, “You’re too late. I’ve corrupted the ships computer so you’ll never unlock its secrets.”

  Because I’m a dumbass, it was only then that I realized the ship was interpreting the alien’s silent speech for us.

  Then the computer said, “I sacrifice my life for all of Bleeder.”

  With that, the alien’s long, snake-like fingers pushed something into its mouth. It bit down on whatever it was, and then it died right before our eyes.

  Peggy sighed. “Fucking poison…”

  Rick put a slug in its brainpan just in case it was a ruse and then he said, “Find out what he did to the ship. We need intel, people.”

  I didn’t know what I was looking for but I thought I found it right away. There was a box as big as a loaf of bread sitting on the console in the back. Once I illuminated the area, I saw two dozen wires running from it to the rest of the console. When I showed it to Rick, rather than figuring out what it did and how to properly unhook it, he just grabbed it and tore it loose.

  But it was an add-on so we knew it was something only recently hooked up.

  We spent ten minutes trying to figure out the ship. Nothing we did made a difference. We could not get it to respond. The alien was right; he’d corrupted it beyond repair. But time was on our side. We could reverse engineer the shit out of this thing, even if it took years. Its secrets would be ours, eventually.

  We slowly dragged the alien bodies out of the tiny ship and deposited them on the floor of the hangar bay.

  Rick told three of the students, milling around, to bring Samantha Salazar to him and they went off to retrieve her.

  When she came into the bay, the look on her rubbery face was priceless. It was a look that only occurs when your entire reason for being is turned on its head.

  Rick laughed at her. “Are you still a Skeptic, dumbass?”

  She shook her head. If she wasn’t a robot, she would’ve cried, I just know it.

  Her belief that the alien threat was a hoax, perpetrated by those who wished to subdue the rest of us with fear, had led her to commit multiple murders. And now she saw the error of her ways, in full relief.

  She visibly wilted when the students led her away again.

  Rick said to me, “Tell the captain to get us the hell out of here. We don’t know if these Bleeders sent out a distress signal. We don’t want to be here when the cavalry arrives.”

  Peggy shook her head, deep in thought. “I don’t know Rick. These guys sure didn’t put up any resistance. It makes me wonder just how vicious these Bleeders really are.”

  “I know. But that dinky ship stood no chance against the Conquistador. It’s no surprise they ran or that they killed themselves when we caught them. Who knows what kind of armada they have at their disposal though. We just can’t risk it.”

  “You’re right. Let’s get these things into the medical bay and check them out.” Then she said to me, “Have the captain send down some tech guys to try and figure this ship out.”

  I left for the command room, my head spinning. My classmates stared after me like I was an alien myself.

  Warp

  The captain activated the warp generator. I didn’t pay enough attention in class to know whether I should be worried by that or not but when he issued the order, several of my classmates started to whisper to each other, so maybe it’s not a proven technology, or maybe it’s just inherently dangerous. I don’t know and I don’t care. It’s a means to an end. We had to get the hell out of there.

  I hope that the tech guys make progress because if a beacon had been activated on the Bleeder ship, and it was still transmitting, there was no way to truly escape unless we kicked that ship out of the hangar. And there was no freaking way we were going to do that. That Enemy ship was a symbol of hope. It gave us a glimpse into the heart of our foe. And it might just give us a tactical advantage by the time the Enemy returned to wipe out humanity, as they promised to do.

  Autopsy

  Instead of worrying about things I could do nothing about, I went below deck to the medical bay. I noticed Mrs. Salazar and her fellow saboteur had been locked up in an unused room. I had the urge to open the door and mock them as I passed, but I fought it.

  Four alien carcasses were splayed out like a macabre freak show. Peggy was watching as the doctor cut into one of them but Rick was pacing. This lack of action was clearly not pleasing to him.

  He said, “There were only four of them so they were lying about it being a colony ship. Four people does not constitute a colony.”

  “They probably lied because they were afraid of us,” Peggy said.

  Then Rick started to pace again, this time more furiously.

  I was barely in the medical bay five minutes before Mr. Humboldt came for me. “The captain has something to tell us. Come back to the command room whenever you’re done here.”

  Because I wasn’t even supposed to be there, I just shrugged and followed him back upstairs.

  As we passed the room that held Mrs. Salazar, Mr. Humboldt banged on the door rapidly to scare her. He looked back and winked at me with his almost human eye.

  I laughed and it was cathartic. I needed to laugh after everything that had happened so far.

  Skeptics

  The captain had beads of sweat on his brow. I didn’t know him that well, but I knew that could only be a bad sign.

  He said,
“I just received a transmission. The Skeptics have taken every single military installation within the solar system. They didn’t just take over Camp Eighty Seven, they took all one hundred camps around every single planet. They infiltrated eleven attack class warships and seven of our surveillance stations.”

  Mr. Humboldt said, “God Damn.”

  “It’s not all bad news though. We’re retaking most everything back from them as we speak.”

  I said, “Keep talking,” because I knew he was trying to get to something and he was stalling.

  “Camp Eighty Seven is still crawling with Skeptics but it has been infiltrated by a single highly trained Marine. The problem is that she doesn’t know the layout. And quite frankly, neither does command. I want you two to go back to your bodies and take the lead. Take her to any caches of weapons you know of. Show her where the Skeptics might hole up. Help her defeat them.”

  “But the tech who sent us here, came here himself. There’s no one to receive us on that end to complete the transfer.”

  “There is. She’s a little rusty but I hear she’s done this before.”

  Mr. Humboldt said, “I’m not trusting my life to a greenhorn. She’ll screw it up and kill us.”

  “If you don’t act fast, you won’t have bodies to go back to. The Skeptics will thaw your bodies and let you die.”

  “They haven’t done it yet,” I said hopefully.

  “Not yet. You are correct.”

  I got his meaning but only because there was no subtlety to it.

  Mr. Humboldt said, “Hurry up then. Let’s go.”

  I would have asked why I had to go but I already knew. I was the only one in the class who’d killed someone. They were starting to look at me like a Marine’s apprentice or something. It made me proud and afraid at once.

  Hidden Modifications

  Rick Pringle ran into the skin bay right before we were to be up and downloaded.

  He said, “Those Bleeders have no heart that we can find. They don’t have blood either. They have this little black sack in their stomachs though, and when you cut it open, it makes a hissing noise. Whatever came out of it made the doctor run and rinse his eyes out.”

  Mr. Humboldt asked, “Are we calling them Bleeders now?”

  “That’s what they call themselves. It’s fitting, considering I want to make them all bleed.”

  “I thought you just said they didn’t have blood,” I said like a smart ass.

  “Shut up Jack. Hey, good luck down there.”

  “Is that why you came here, to wish us good luck?” I asked, knowing that couldn’t be the real reason.

  “Nope. I’m here because as soon as you’re gone, I’m taking my skin back. This one’s all clunky and boring.”

  “Well, it’s good to know you care,” I sarcastically said.

  “Uh huh. Hurry up and give it back.”

  I nodded and he added, “Hey Jack, before you go, I want you to check out one of my upgrades. Say to the skin, Rick Pimpage wants his guns.”

  I said it and my suit completely transformed. It clicked and rumbled as hidden weapons appeared out of nowhere. I had a gun on each wrist and one on each shoulder. I had a spinning turret on my head too with a little laser sight that was strafing the walls. I was impressed. Then I saw that each finger had hinged open and I was beyond impressed. That was eight individual guns, plus the four on my body and the turret on my head. Either Rick was a genius with mechanical devices, or more likely, Peggy had fitted them for him. She seemed like the serious one of the two.

  Some dude from the flight crew started to hook up cables to our heads and Rick said to him, “Don’t mention the little mods I made, hey?”

  “Of course Mr. Pimpage.”

  Rick smiled at that.

  I looked over at Billy Humboldt and said, “This is so fucking stupid, sir.”

  “Watch your language,” he joked. “I’m still your fucking teacher.”

  I tried to smile but just as I did, my mind screamed out in confusion and my consciousness went out like a light.

  Dolores

  I awoke slowly and painfully. I was about to scream out from the agony until my thoughts caught up to me and I realized if I did, I’d just draw the Skeptics to our location.

  A heavily muscled lady was busy standing me up and patting my naked body down with a warm towel. I’m not into tough chicks but apparently my dick is.

  She smiled, smacked me on my bare ass and said, “Get dressed son. We got some killing to do. I’m Dolores.” Then she went off to thaw out Mr. Humboldt.

  By the time they were done, Dolores asked us, “Where are the weapons you guys keep for training. I had to float in bare so they didn’t detect me.

  That statement made my sphincter contract. Floating in bare means you come in with nothing but a suit full of air because any electrical signal, no matter how faint, could be picked up. And anything metallic would ping and give your location away too. This she-hulk had floated across empty space with no thrusters and nothing but a bag of air to sustain her.

  We’d been told about this tactic in class but we’d been assured we’d never have to employ it because it was suicidal and idiotic. I instantly liked her because of that.

  Mr. Humboldt started to tell her about the weapons stores but they were at the opposite end of the camp and Dolores was clearly pissed that there was no easier way to get the job done.

  I stared at Mr. Humboldt and said, “This is a time of war so I expect to receive no reprimand for this.”

  He nodded his agreement so I said, “I have some guns in a false panel in my dorm.”

  “You could be kicked out for that.”

  Dolores locked him in a hateful stare and said angrily, “You could be punched in the nuts if you don’t shut up. If we get the guns and defeat them, this young man will be a hero.”

  I added, “I never really cared about getting kicked out anyway. That’s why the teachers stopped threatening me with it.”

  Mr. Humboldt’s face flushed red. He didn’t mean to be a chode, he’d simply reverted back to teacher mode. He said, “Let’s get those guns then.”

  Cache

  My dorm wasn’t that far from the cryo-bay. It was an odd sensation walking past all of my frozen fellow students, knowing their consciousnesses were very far away and completely oblivious to what was going on around their real bodies.

  Dolores whispered, “Which way?” as soon we exited through the door.

  I whispered back, “I’m down to the right. It’s the sixth door.”

  “That’s the best bit of news I’ve heard since I got to this shit-hole. Let’s go.”

  For the first time, I noticed she was wielding a ball-peen hammer as a weapon. I’d have laughed had she not looked so formidable with it.

  I accessed my dorm room and we crept inside. I kicked in the false panel and pulled four guns out, placing them neatly on the bed. Then I went back and grabbed the ammo box and put it beside them.

  Mr. Humboldt picked a pistol up and examined it. “Tony Bishop received twenty lashes when this went missing.”

  I smiled. “I always hated that prick. I only regretted him getting the blame when the girls fawned over him afterwards and tended to his cuts. He got laid because of that gun. He has me to thank.”

  Humboldt shook his head but I could tell he was suppressing a wicked smile. I know he was starting to like me more and more every minute. Plus, if I hadn’t stolen the guns, we’d have to traverse the entire length of the camp to get to the nearest gun. That would’ve taken thirty minutes, easily. And if we had to get there stealthily, that time would double. And that’s only if we survived the trip.

  Dolores clapped me on the back, knocking the wind from me. She picked up the PQ5000 and that pissed me off. It was my gun of choice. I was more accurate with that than any other weapon.

  Then she put it back down and snatched up my two Dannon-Cannons. They’re called that because when you get shot with one, you turn into a sludge-li
ke substance. It doesn’t really resemble yoghurt but none of our nicknames make much sense. They’re like a Chinese whisper; you never know how they started.

  I have to admit, she looked better wielding those two bad boys than the assault rifle.

  Humboldt went to reach for the PQ5000 but I beat him to it.

  He looked like he might hit me until I said, “Sir, have you ever seen what I can do with one of these? I’m very accurate.”

  He snatched up the Rapist, so called because if you get shot with it, you’re fucked (we’re not very cultured here).

  I checked the attachments on the PQ5000. It had a Popper attachment that was very dangerous. It shot an explosive ordinance that was powerful enough to take out a ships hull. The concussion alone could kill you if you were too close. It had a Zipper attachment too. But because it was an energy weapon and the damn thing had been sitting for so long, it probably wouldn’t work.

  I plugged a single Popper in, making sure to lock the safety in place. It was almost always a bad idea to fire a Popper. It never seemed to end well.

  Dolores said, “None of these weapons are silenced so it makes no sense for us to stay together to maintain an element of surprise that’s just going to disappear the first time one of us pulls the trigger. We need to split up and take them all at once. We will use the element of chaos and mayhem to draw them out.”

  For some crazy reason, that appealed to me. I guess I was more worried about protecting Dolores and Humboldt than protecting myself. Alone, I could be reckless and fearless without any repercussions besides losing my own life.

  Without warning, Dolores bolted out the door and took off to the left, running at a full sprint down the hallway. Humboldt looked at me and then we both dashed out of the room too.

  Firefight

  We both went right and then Humboldt disappeared down the first connecting hallway we came to.