But he wasn’t really mine.
That thought pulled me up short and I tore my gaze away from him. I hadn’t even realized how quickly he’d breached the walls I usually kept around my heart. Distance, I needed to put distance between us. Except that wasn’t possible. This was no longer a one-night stand you could forget the next morning. I’d never be able to forget that Heath had ever come into my life. He would now be a permanent fixture there. Deep down I knew I’d end up falling for him. Very little could stop that from happening. What a revelation to have in the middle of work when there was nowhere you could go and escape with your thoughts.
Snap out of it.
If I wanted to keep my heart intact, I had to hold onto me. I couldn’t let him all the way in, even as much as my heart begged me to. My brain needed to stay completely in charge when it came to Heath Marshall. I turned back to the customer whose order I was taking, their name completely gone from my head with one look from Heath.
“Anything else?” I asked.
“Not right now.”
He turned back to the woman he was with and I went over to take Heath’s order, even though I knew his drink of choice. If I wanted to keep up appearances, I needed to do my job.
“Welcome. My name’s Jenna and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get you?”
That goddamn dimple appeared and my knees went weak. “A Crown and Coke, please.”
“You got it. I’ll be right back with that.”
Something irrational in me didn’t want to leave Heath alone upstairs too long. The people in that section had money and power. Things I didn’t have. And even though he told me over and over again those things didn’t matter to him, I couldn’t help but think what would happen if one of the women up there grabbed his attention. I dropped my order off to the bartender and found myself peeking over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure he was still alone.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I had to focus or I would end up screwing up someone else’s order. Screwed up orders didn’t pay good tips. As much as Heath was willing to help with the baby, I couldn’t risk losing this job if I wanted to stay afloat. The bartender pushed the finished tray toward me and I carried it down the hall. I made sure to drop off the couple’s drink first and then I moved on to Heath.
“Here you go.”
As I handed over the glass, Heath made sure to graze his fingers over mine, sending tingles through my entire body. It still amazed me what that man could do to me with a simple touch. I held on to the glass a little longer than necessary, keeping the connection of our fingers. It wasn’t until I saw the smirk rise on Heath’s face that I let go of the glass.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice low and raspy.
That low tone was so sexy I had to get away before I let my hormones convince me to do something stupid like climb in his lap and press my lips to his.
Taking a few steps back, I linked my hands in front of me. “Well, if you need anything else let me know.”
One brow arched as I stood there and fiddled with my fingers.
“Don’t worry, I will.”
Like the first night, I spent most of the night giving Heath his orders as quickly as possible. The first night, he’d still been a stranger. A stranger I’d been intimate with, but a stranger at that. I couldn’t believe how fast it was happening, but after only a few days that man was testing every limit and boundary I had with no way for me to stop him from getting inside my heart. He planted himself there from the first moment I met him. The scent of his cologne or the way his hair hung around his shoulders sent my mind spinning so the less time I spent near him at work the better. Then again, I wasn’t the only one watching the other. Every time I looked over his eyes were glued to me. A small part of me reveled in the fact he ignored the other beautiful women around him to watch me.
By the end of the night, not only was I physically exhausted from being on my feet, I was emotionally exhausted from trying to keep up with my feelings for Heath. He stayed until closing and thankfully no one questioned it. I was cleaning up the glasses still left on the last table when Heath waved me over. Under the guise of checking on him, I walked over to him.
“Can I get you anything else before the bar closes?”
“Nope. Just the check.” Then he lowered his voice. “Can I drive you home?” I started to shake my head, when he interrupted me. “Please. It’s late and you’re tired. I’ll grab the car from the valet and wait in the back of the garage on the top floor.”
Tired didn’t even begin to cover how I felt at that moment and a ride home instead of waiting for the bus sounded like exactly what I needed. “Okay. Give me a minute to grab your check.”
“I can do that.” The corners of his mouth turned up.
I brought Heath his check and went back to cleaning up the glasses. When I looked back over my shoulder I saw him walking down the steps and toward the front door. I picked up the folder and two-hundred-dollar bills slipped out. He had to be insane. I’d served him all of three drinks throughout the night. His bill only totaled around thirty bucks. There was no way I could keep it. I pushed it into my back pocket and hurried through clean-up. The sooner I finished that, the sooner I could get the right change and hand the money back to him.
Finally, after everything was done, I found myself outside on the top floor of the garage searching for the dark SUV Heath was driving. Ironically, I had no idea what kind of car he actually drove. Which only proved how much I really needed to learn about him. There, in the back corner of the parking garage, I saw the car. The lights flipped on and the car began moving out of its space toward me. Heath stopped and pushed the passenger door open. I hoisted myself up into the vehicle and immediately handed over his change. Or at least tried to. The moment he saw what was in my hand, he took his hand off the wheel and wrapped them both around mine, closing my fingers over the money in my hand.
“No, this is for you.”
“I’m not taking this, Heath.”
“Yes, you are. You worked hard all night and I left you a tip for it.”
I narrowed my eyes, knowing he could still see my face in the illumination from the lights in the garage. “A tip is usually twenty percent, not six times more than the bill.”
He shrugged and pulled his hands away to place the car in drive. “What can I say, I’m a really good tipper.”
I huffed out a breath of air and looked out the passenger window as we drove down through the levels of the garage. “You’re really not going to take this back, are you?”
“Nope. I’ll find a way to make you keep it.” He winked and looked back out at the road. The playfulness slowly faded from his features. “In all seriousness, though, this isn’t the last time I’ll give money to you. Please tell me it’s not going to be a fight every single time.”
He had a point and even though I hated to admit it, I did. “I know. Doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.”
“I know you’re used to doing things on your own, but you called looking for my help and I’m here.”
Yeah, I doubted he planned on being a father so soon, not to mention all of this had pulled him away from his band’s tour.
“And no matter what you’re thinking, right now there is no place I’d rather be.”
I let the comment linger in the air as I watched the streetlights pass by. The quiet of the night always called to me. Like it did tonight. It settled me. Grounded me. Gave me a place to think. The radio played softly in background, filling in the slightly tense silence and spaces. A new song started, which seemed incredibly familiar. Heath reached over to change the station, but I placed my hand on his.
“Don’t change it, please.”
“The song’s not that good.”
I listened a little longer, something niggling at the back of my mind. I knew that song, but from where? And then the singer’s voice filled the car and my head whirled around to Heath, who hadn’t made a move.
“Th
at’s your song. Why would you say it isn’t good?”
He shrugged and kept driving, pulling up in front of my place.
“No, that’s not fair. You’ve seen me at my most vulnerable. The least you can do is tell me why you don’t want to listen to your own song on the radio.”
It took a few seconds, but finally he turned to face me with a sigh. “It’s not that I don’t like our music. I actually love listening to our songs. I mean who wouldn’t, we’d worked our asses off to get there.”
I nodded. “That’s more of what I expected. Still doesn’t explain why you wanted to change it.”
He placed his forehead on the steering wheel and shook it from side to side. “It sounds stupid.”
Before I thought about what I was doing, I laid my hand on his arm, igniting the sensations from earlier. “Tell me.”
He tilted his head to look at me. “It’s just…well…things had been going so well these last few days…and you kinda freaked out the last time the band came up. Let’s just say I didn’t want to ruin anything by reminding you of Jaded Ivory.”
Okay, okay. He had a point. I’d definitely freaked out when I found out who he was and maybe I hadn’t been so calm when I called to tell him I was pregnant, always waiting for him to pull the celebrity lifestyle and throw money at his problems to make them go away. But Heath hadn’t done any of that. Had he bought things or over tipped me tonight? Yes, but he didn’t expect me to disappear into the night never to be seen again. He wanted to be a part of this baby’s life and that made him vastly different.
“I’m sorry. That’s my fault.” He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up a hand. “Let me finish. I wasn’t fair when I judged you based on your career. I used a generalization from shit I’ve seen online and that’s not you. You’re kind and generous and nothing like the crazy people I compared you to when you first arrived. So yes, you deserve an apology. You don’t have to turn off your songs for me. I really like listening to them.”
“I’m not like those guys and never will be. Thank you for finally starting to trust me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“All right, go inside and get some sleep. You’re off tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll be by in the morning to take you to the grocery store.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I don’t, but I want to.”
“Okay, no more arguing.” I pushed the passenger door open and stepped out onto the sidewalk. “Thank you for bringing me home. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I’ll drive you anywhere you need to go. The offer for the car is still on the table.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t you dare.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t.” He laughed. “But I’ll keep trying to convince you to let me.”
Before he could say another word, I waved good night and walked up the path to the front door. That man was going to be the death of me. Each and every suggestion he made I wanted to jump at, even though I knew I shouldn’t. Somehow, I managed to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground.
***
The next morning Heath arrived and we spent the next few hours running errands I’d had piling up for months. He’d taken me to the grocery store, the pharmacy to pick up the vitamins the doctor prescribed, and to the city hall to file paperwork transferring the house to my name. By the time we finished everything, the only thing I wanted to do was drop onto the couch and watch TV. I couldn’t believe how quickly I grew tired lately. We’d made a grilled chicken Cesar salad for dinner and put a movie on.
I glanced over my shoulder. It still seemed unreal that Heath was sitting in my living room. Even though we’d spent the day together, we were too busy for my mind to wander to those places. In the quiet of the house, with only a movie to keep me occupied, it was hard not to notice his presence like a shield that wrapped around me.
He’d been here for a few days and as much as I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I was getting used to his company. I liked that he was here waiting for me when I got home from work. Whether it was an early night from the diner or a late night at the club, he was here or there. He’d spent a few of those shifts sitting in VIP at the club. It was hard not to notice his eyes on me every move I made. But I did my best to keep it professional and just bring him his drinks. Then at the end of the night he’d drive me home.
I had no idea what to think about all of it. Around him my brain seemed to turn to mush and everything I’d do with better judgment went right out the window. He managed to break down most of the barriers around my heart, but my mind was holding onto the last one nice and strong. I didn’t know what to do and I knew I wouldn’t until he flew back for the next show in two days. I had a feeling I’d miss him more than I was ready to admit, but I needed my space to think.
A commercial came on and I reached for the remote. My fingers brushed skin and I looked down to see he already wrapped his hand around it. My skin tingled at every point we touched.
After the last week, I wasn’t sure if my heart or my nerves could handle it when he left.
CHAPTER 20
Jenna
“Are you feeling okay?”
I glanced up from where I’d pushed my eggs to the other side of my plate for the fourth time and got caught in the concerned gray gaze staring back at me. Eating happened to be the last thing on my mind at the moment. Heath had to catch a flight in a few hours. Nightmares of him giving up on me and the baby plagued me throughout the night. In some he had a gorgeous woman on his arm, while I sat home with dirty hair and a screaming baby. After spending time with him, getting to know him, I knew this wasn’t reality, but there was still that sliver of fear.
“Yeah. My mind’s just elsewhere this morning.” I scooped up a forkful of egg and forced it down it, even as my stomach protested the move.
I already knew Heath felt enough regret at having to leave again and I didn’t want to add more, but neither of us had a choice. This would be a way to resurrect the barriers around my heart. Rebuild my defenses. Heath would always be there for our child and that was enough for me. At least I tried to tell myself that. I didn’t need a man in my life. And the one sitting across from him let me seduce him in an hour of desperation. He didn’t go into this planning for a relationship and it wasn’t something I would ask of him.
“You know I’d stay—”
The last thing I needed was to get all worked up and start crying in the restaurant. “Are you ready for your next show?”
His brows drew together and for the briefest of moments, I thought he might ignore the question and go back to him leaving. I begged him with my eyes to understand. Even though we hadn’t known each other long, something passed between us and he nodded, understanding that for the moment this was what I needed.
“I guess. I’ll have to deal with serious jet lag tonight when the band is setting up and testing the sound system.”
“Do you have to test the sound system at every venue?”
“Most of the time. The acoustics in every place is different.”
Heath continued to talk about what went into the setup for each show. I heard the words, but I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering off over the last week. He’d been so wonderful. Making sure I got to the doctors and didn’t run myself ragged trying to do everything. I knew I had to scale back for the baby. It wouldn’t be easy. I’d find a way. If I didn’t I had no doubt Heath would be calling in to check on me. I just had to remember he was doing it to protect me and the baby, not to control my life.
I realized he stopped talking and glanced down at my still full plate. “Sorry,” I whispered.
He reached over and covered my hand where it rested on the table. “Don’t be, I know this isn’t easy for either of us. Just know, I’ll call as often as I can. Every night if it’s possible.”
I nodded but kept my eyes lowered to hide the moisture that sat at the corners. I felt his presence nex
t to me and glanced up. Heath stood there, a frown marring his features as he held out a hand to me.
“Let me get you home.”
I laid my hand in his and let him help me from my chair. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the folder for the bill with the cash sticking out of the top. I’d been so lost in my head, I hadn’t even realized the server had brought the check.
Heath led us out of the restaurant and to his rental, which now had his bags filling the back seat. The ambient noise of the restaurant had covered the silence between the two of us. However, in the confines of the car the quiet was almost palpable. Unable to take it anymore, I tried to think of something to talk about.
“What kind of car do you drive?”
“Huh?” He glanced over at me for a brief moment, his brow furrowed.
“What kind of car do you drive? I know this is a rental and I’m curious.”
I had no idea where that question had come from, but it gave me the opportunity to ignore the street signs as each new block brought me closer to home.
“A Cadillac Escalade.”
Heath pulled up along the curb and climbed out of the car. All throughout breakfast, my stomach churned. Now, it threatened to purge what little I’d put into it. Heath had to leave for the airport soon, their next show tomorrow on the opposite coast. I couldn’t stop the same worries from repeating over and over again in my head. My biggest fear was that this would be the last time I’d hear from him. I’d never connected with someone so easily and the thought of him deciding that dealing with me and the baby would become too much made my chest ache.
He climbed out of the car and was around to my side, opening the door before I even had a chance to. The cool morning breeze hit my face as he helped me from the car.
“I wish I didn’t have to go,” he said, leaning against the passenger side of the car.
“Me too.”
My eyes burned and I swallowed hard in an attempt to keep the tears from falling down my face. I wouldn’t. No, I couldn’t let him see how this affected me. I didn’t need pity. If he decided he wanted to call and talk, I wanted it to be because of me, not because he felt bad about the situation I was in.
Cover Me (Jaded Ivory Book 3) Page 15
