Mari stopped us and wound her arms around my waist. “And you always will.”
I hugged her back and smiled. This was what Jenna didn’t have, but I would show her that it existed if she wanted it. “Thanks, Mari. She doesn’t have anything like this. It’s just her and now the baby.”
Mari smiled up at me. “You’ll find a way to prove how much you care. If Cole was able to do it, anyone can.”
“That gives me an idea.” Cole won Mari over by sending her things that mattered to her. And not just items, but letters explaining how he felt.
“Glad I could help.” Smirking, she let go of my arm and made her way to her dressing room.
I shook my head and followed Jackson to the green room. The fans didn’t give a shit what I had on behind the keyboard. Hell, the only thing they could really see was my T-shirt. I flopped onto the couch to wait. Monty walked in a few minutes later.
“Welcome back.” There wasn’t the same warm greeting I received from everyone else, but I could see the dark circles under his eyes.
“Thanks, think we can talk?”
He shrugged and dropped onto the couch opposite me. I glanced over his shoulder at Jackson, who immediately took the hint and excused himself.
“I’m going to go find Sawyer.”
The door shut behind Jackson and I started. “I hear you’re not real happy with me.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “You left me hanging.”
“You do realize why I left, right? I wouldn’t just up and fly out in the middle of the night with no reason.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “I get it. I just really wanted to finish this song. I can’t get it out of my head. It’s hard to sleep.”
That I understood. I hadn’t written as many songs as Monty, but when a song took over you were better off to push through and write it. Otherwise, it would take over everything else in your head. Same as people writing their feelings out in journals, we wrote them out in songs.
“I can see it in your face. No drinking?”
He scoffed and a corner of his mouth turned up. “Me not drink? That’s funny.”
“True enough.” I weighed the options in my head. Skip calling Jenna tonight to help Monty or bail on Monty tonight to call Jenna. Both scenarios were shitty. And they were both my family now, just in a different way. The question was, who needed me more? “How about this? I need to check on Jenna tonight after the show. Tonight, you put as much of it on paper as you can and tomorrow before we play, we’ll work out chords and notes.”
“I can do that.”
“And hopefully, once you get the lyrics out of your head and possibly some notes, you’ll be able to sleep.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. We were silent for a few minutes before he spoke up again. “You do know I’m happy for you, right?”
“Trust me, I know. There’s just nothing that stresses us out more than a lack of sleep. We just worry about you.”
“Everyone’s waiting for me to lose it, right?”
“Well, you do have a habit of crazy ass stunts when you’re bored.”
He lifted his hand and placed another over his heart. “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior…well, I’ll try to be.”
I chuckled. “That’s all we can ask.”
There was a knock on the door, then Sawyer peeked his head in. “Come on, guys. We’re on.”
I gestured for Monty to go first then I followed him out toward the stage. Everything was black as we took our places. Lights flashed around me as I heard Sawyer’s drum entrance pick up. Halfway through the set list and I wanted to cut out half the songs to get off stage and get on the phone. Definitely not a feeling I was used to. I loved being on stage. Loved the sound of the crowd as they cheered. Loved hearing a song I helped build note by note come to life.
But life didn’t just include those things anymore. Now there was a beautiful woman who in seven months was going to make me a father. I never imagined a time when something would be more important to me than music, but that time had come. What I needed to figure out was how to balance the two of them.
My career meant being on stage, which meant playing through a show before I could hear her voice. I forced all my worries to the back of my mind and placed my hands on the keys. Time to get to work.
CHAPTER 22
Jenna
Warm fingers trailed a fiery path from my throat down the center of my chest. He lowered his head, using his tongue to follow the path his fingers had taken. I squirmed beneath him, needing more than the simple tease. His tongue moved over my breast, sucking the tip into his mouth. Pleasure overtook me as I arched my back, trying to get closer to the warm suction of his lips.
“Oh God,” I whispered.
He hummed into the back of his throat as he slid his mouth over to my other breast. Every part of my body felt electrified. He seemed hell-bent on making me beg. I clenched my legs together, trying to find some relief. He slid his hand down, coaxing my legs apart and rubbing circles over my clit. The edges of my vision started to blur.
“Please,” I begged.
He bent down and crushed his lips to mine, his finger moving furiously until every muscle in my body tensed…
“Holy shit.” I flew up to a sitting position on my bed.
My breathing was erratic and sweat dampened my forehead. I glanced around the empty room, trying to get my bearings. Fuck. The dream had seemed so real. Every touch. The way his deep, raspy voice hypnotized me with every word that left his lips.
I reached over and swiped my phone off the nightstand. The thought of calling Heath passed through my mind quickly enough that I pushed it back again. He did not need to hear me panting on the other end of the line. How the hell would I even explain why I sounded like I’d run a marathon? No, there was no reason to call Heath yet, especially since he was probably getting ready to go on stage. I didn’t want to be a bother to him.
I glanced at the screen in my hand, where I saw a message waiting for me. It must have come through while I’d been sleeping. The last two days had taken their toll. By the time I got home from work, I was beat and needed some rest. The text taunted me.
Rachel: You better call me soon before I have to come hunt you down.
Shit.
I really needed to call. The problem—I had no idea what I could possibly say to explain this whole situation. Then again, Rachel always had a unique perspective when looking at things. Maybe she could help me figure out the mess I was in. Not with the baby, but the roller coaster my heart wanted to take me on. Would there be more ups than downs? Would I be able to protect my heart from him?
I climbed out of bed and wandered down the hall to the kitchen, taking a seat at the table. I stared at my phone like it was a snake about to bite.
I sucked in a deep breath and hit Rachel’s number. Time to explain the mess I was in. After only two rings the call connected.
“Why haven’t you called me in two months?”
I rested my elbow on the table and dropped my head into my hand. I should have known she’d call me out before she said anything else. We’d talked at least once a week until Nana died. After that I couldn’t bring my misery to her doorstep anymore. She was happy and didn’t need my shit piled in her lap. At least until now.
“I’m sorry.”
She sighed. “I know you. You don’t want your problems to be anyone else’s. You have to know I will never care about that. You can talk to me. I’ll always be your shoulder to lean on.”
“I know. I just wasn’t ready to talk.”
“Are you ready now?” There was no hostility or anger in her voice. And that was what made her such a great friend. She knew everything about me and even when I closed myself off from the world, she would always be there when I was ready to put myself back together again.
“I am, but it’s not about Nana this time.”
“Tell me what happened.”
I closed my eyes. “Let’s just say the hits kee
p on coming.”
“Jenna, spill.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“Oh, fuck,” she whispered into the phone. Minutes passed and I wondered for the hundredth time how the hell I’d gotten myself into this mess. Those thoughts came more and more often since Heath had to fly back for his next show. He’d only been gone two days, but I’d grown used to his company. It was easy to see how we’d work together to raise the baby when I could see him every day. My latest round of worry was what had me picking up the phone to call Rachel.
“How the hell did that happen? I thought you were on the pill. And when have you had time to start seeing someone?”
She knew I wouldn’t be the type to sleep around and never be in for a one-night stand. Little did she know.
“That’s kinda complicated.”
“Well, start explaining. I have plenty of time.” I could hear her nails tapping on some type of surface.
“The night they took Nana to the hospital, I was working at the club—”
“You mean they wouldn’t let you go see your grandmother?” Her voice rose and octave or two.
“Relax. Of course Doug and Marcus would let me. I was worried about being able to pay the bill. Anyway, long story short, one of Marcus’s friends was there that night and convinced me to go. He actually drove me over.”
“He sounds kind of sweet.”
I thought about all the things Heath had done for me over the last week and I couldn’t help but agree.
“So far he is.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?”
“’Cause I haven’t told you who he is yet.”
“Well, who is he?”
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me. “Can I finish my story and then I’ll tell you who he is?”
“Fine.” I could imagine her pouting on the other end of the line.
“I was a mess that night. He convinced me to go home and get some rest. They had Nana in a coma and wouldn’t even attempt taking her out of it until the next day.”
“Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me all this before?”
I sighed.
“Never mind. I know you weren’t ready, but I would have flown out there to be with you.”
“I know. He took me home and…” I trailed off, but it didn’t take Rachel long.
“You had a one-night stand? You, the girl who won’t even consider sleeping with a guy on the first date, had a one-night stand?”
I didn’t think her voice could get any higher.
“I wanted to forget,” I whispered. “I never expected the condom to break or my birth control to fail.”
“He better be manning up and taking responsibility.”
“Oh, he is. I tried to convince him that I could do it on my own.”
“Jesus Christ, Jen. How the hell do you think you’re gonna do that?”
“I know. I know I can’t. Trust me, he wants to be a part of the baby’s life.”
“Okay, then what’s the problem?”
“Who he is, is the problem.”
“Unless he’s some drug addict loser, it can’t be that bad.”
I didn’t say anything, trying to figure out how to tell her this.
“Shit, don’t tell me it’s that asshole Cooper from high school?”
“What? No, I can’t imagine that dick would want to help anyone at any time. I don’t even know what happened to him.”
“Fine, then who is it?”
“Heath Marshall.”
“Why do I know that name?”
“Jaded Ivory.”
It took a few beats, but her reaction was exactly like I expected. “Holy fuck. You slept with the keyboard player for Jaded Ivory. Wait, you got fucking knocked up by the keyboard player for Jaded Ivory?”
“You don’t have to be so fucking crude about it.”
“What the hell do you expect me to say?”
“I expect you to focus on the bigger problem. Like me taking care of a baby by myself.”
“Wait. Hold up the train. You just told me he wants to be a part of the baby’s life.”
“Yeah, but I can’t imagine he’ll feel like that forever. He’s a goddamn celebrity who gets to travel the world. Why the hell would he want to stay home and take care of a baby?”
“Maybe someday he’ll take you both with him.”
I scoffed. “This isn’t some romance novel fairy tale where the poor maiden meets the prince who sweeps her off her feet.”
She sighed. “At some point life’s gotta throw you something good. It’s your time.”
She had a point there, but I’d been so used to failure and sadness. They’d become my companions. “Don’t I wish. At this point in life, I think I’m destined for disappointment.”
“You’re only twenty-six.”
“And it’s been nineteen years of hell.”
“Bullshit, you’ve had some great years with Nana.”
“Until she got sick.”
“Look, Jenna. You need to stop thinking the worst is always gonna happen. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. Maybe this time, he sticks around to help take care of the baby. And if not, maybe it’s time for you to leave that crap town and come move out here with me. Stephen and I would help you with whatever you need.”
“I can’t throw my problems at your feet.”
“First of all, you’re not throwing them at my feet if I ask you to do it. And second, you can’t keep doing everything on your own.”
The back of my eyes burned. “It’s all I’ve ever known. Besides, it’s not like I have any type of skills that would get me a job paying what I make here.”
“I’m sure there are plenty of jobs out here you could get. Maybe you even take night classes at a culinary school.”
The tears dripped down my face as I thought of the dream I’d given up eight years ago. “I can’t afford that.”
“You could if you sold the house.” She kept going, not giving me the chance to interrupt. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear that, but what has staying there got you? You could sell it, pay off the medical debt, and still have enough to move out here.”
I dropped my head onto the back of the couch, knowing she was right, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“You know Nana would only want you to be happy, even if it meant not staying there.”
A sob tore from my chest. Rachel had so many good points, I just wasn’t ready to give it up yet.
“Oh, Jenna. Don’t cry. I’m going to go to work tomorrow and see when I can use some vacation days to come out there.”
I sucked in a shuddered breath as I tried to get myself under control. “You don’t—”
“Don’t even start with that. You’re my best friend. We’ll figure this out.”
I nodded, but after a moment I realized she couldn’t see me and said, “Okay.”
“Good. I have to go, but I’ll text you with my flight information. And when I get there, I want to know all about Heath Marshall.”
After I hung up with Rachel, I felt a little bit lighter. As if some of the burden I kept hidden with Heath and the whole pregnancy had lifted off my shoulders. Rachel would never take no for an answer. She was full of energy and confidence. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need her here. Having her back, even if only for a few days, would give me the chance to figure out a plan B.
Not real thrilled with the idea of selling my grandmother’s house, her plan had merit. There were still too many things to consider.
First of all, I wouldn’t consider doing anything until I knew for sure that Heath wasn’t going to be around. God, I needed to get a grip. My phone began to ring, and I thought Rachel had forgotten to tell me something. I picked up the phone without looking who was on the other end.
“What now?” I asked tiredly.
“Not exactly the greeting I expected.”
My head snapped up from where I rested it on the table at the sound of Heath’s vo
ice.
“Sorry…I, uh…I didn’t think it was you calling.”
“You don’t have caller ID?”
“I do, but I didn’t look. I just hung up with Rachel and thought she was calling me back. Hell, I wasn’t even sure you’d call.”
That seemed to get his attention. “Of course I’d call. What did she say?”
I could hear the way his voice rose a bit. He was nervous to hear what she thought about all of this. What surprised me more was that I could hear it. We’d only spent a week together and I knew his tells.
The question was, how much of the truth did I tell him? I glanced around the kitchen and couldn’t help but think of a week ago when he’d filled my counters with food simply to make sure there was something I would be able to eat. Each and every room was filled with memories of him now. Would it only be memories or would he be back?
“You not answering doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“Sorry, I got lost in my head.”
“I can forgive that. So, tell me, does your best friend hate me now?”
I giggled. “Just the opposite actually. She just wants to make sure you’re going to be there for the baby.” For the first time since finding out, I rested my hand over my flat belly.
“Do you still not believe me?” I didn’t have to be a mind reader to hear the hurt in his voice.
“After the last week I do.”
There was still the little voice in the back of my head that said ‘what if’. I thought after talking to Rachel and knowing I had another option, it would become easier to tell that voice to shut the hell up. But it wasn’t and deep down I knew it had nothing to do with him not wanting to be a part of the baby’s life or of me doing this on my own. Really I was afraid of how hurt I’d be if he did change his mind.
“Well, that makes me feel a little better. How was work today?”
“Busier than normal, but the tips were good.”
“Can I say I’m glad you didn’t have to work tonight without you getting mad at me?”
“I won’t get mad ’cause I couldn’t agree with you more.”
“Good, ’cause I worry about you when you work too many hours.”
“I’ll be careful. I don’t want to do anything to harm the baby.”
Cover Me (Jaded Ivory Book 3) Page 17
