Destinations

by Murray, Tamela Hancock

  ❧

  “I simply will not allow you to go.” Helen stood by Lavonia’s bed, watching her sort clothing in preparation for her trip to London. Folding her hands in a gesture of defiance, she brought herself up to her full height. With a definite clack of each heel, she positioned her feet on the floor.

  Despite Helen’s fortitude, Lavonia folded a few garments. Though she wasn’t ready to leave, either physically or mentally, packing her belongings would show Helen she was serious about her imminent departure. “But I must. The time has come.”

  “I beg to differ,” Helen persisted. “Surely you do not wish to live with Aunt Amelia. She will make you nothing more than a common servant.”

  Turning from her task, Lavonia caught Helen’s gaze. “I am already a servant of the Lord’s. If His plan for me is to help Aunt Amelia, then I am to obey His will.”

  “No doubt your laboring for Aunt Amelia is her will.” Helen tilted her chin upward. “I fail to see why you seem to prefer her company to mine.”

  Exasperated by Helen’s conclusion, her chest heaved with a heavy breath. “You know that is not true. But Katherine and I have imposed on your kind hospitality long enough.”

  “Why have you decided so suddenly upon this new arrangement?”

  “I know my decision seems abrupt to you. But I have been considering it for a long time.”

  Helen’s right eyebrow rose. “Why do I think this decision of yours has something to do with Dr. Amory?”

  Lavonia stopped folding midstream, a coarse woolen muffler in her hand. She wanted to protest, but couldn’t bring herself to deny Helen’s observation. She swallowed before trying to steady her voice. “Dr. Amory? What makes you think that?”

  Helen chuckled, placing her hands on her slim hips. “Do you think everyone in this house is blind? Of course we have seen the way you look at each other. You are hopelessly in love with the doctor. Why will you not admit it?”

  “Admit it? There is nothing to admit.” At that moment a shadow obscured the light from the hall. Glancing in that direction, Lavonia was relieved to see a figure in white perched in the doorway. “What are you doing out of bed, Kitty?”

  Her sister floated toward her. “As terrible as I feel, I just had to see you. Please tell me what I heard is not true, Vonnie.”

  So Helen has told Kitty we are leaving! Lavonia shot Helen a withering look.

  Helen raised her hands in mock protest. “I did not tell her, Lavonia.”

  “That is correct. Aunt Amelia told me we are leaving.”

  Lavonia’s gaze fired in Helen’s direction. “Then you told Aunt Amelia our plans, Helen.”

  Though Helen shrugged, her voice grew high-pitched as she defended herself. “She had to know! After all, she is the one who will be most affected by the change in circumstance.”

  Lavonia threw the muffler on the bed in a vain attempt to vent her anger. “I wanted to be the one to tell Aunt Amelia that I’ll be coming, too. In fact, I should have been the one to tell her, not you.”

  Helen’s mouth twisted, but she remained silent rather than issuing the apology Lavonia expected.

  “It matters not who told whom what,” Katherine pointed out. “Are we really going to London, Vonnie? If we are, I want to hear the truth from your lips.”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “I would not be so sure of that. I understand from Aunt Amelia that you never asked her permission?”

  “Not yet, but—”

  Unannounced, Aunt Amelia breezed into the room. “No, she certainly has not asked me.” She gave Lavonia a chastising look. “One would think you would have remembered your manners, Lavonia, and asked before inviting yourself to live with me.”

  Lavonia was taken aback by her aunt’s accusation. “But I thought—”

  “You thought nothing of whether or not I can afford to take on not one, but two impoverished nieces.”

  Stung by the truth, Lavonia swallowed. “But I can—”

  “Earn your keep?” Aunt Amelia let out a decisive sniff. “I need not but one maid, and I doubt if you can cook as well as the woman currently in my employ.”

  Aunt Amelia’s objections left Lavonia feeling helpless. Never had she suspected her aunt would turn her away. She blurted out the first solution that popped into her head. “Lon-don is a big city. Certainly, there would be a job there for an able-bodied woman.”

  Katherine let out a laugh. “You may be able-bodied, but you have never done any serious work in your life.”

  “I can sew.”

  “You can mend, certainly,” Katherine said. “But we have always employed a dressmaker.”

  “I can learn to sew. And I hear one can make a good wage remaking dresses.” She nodded to her sister. “Refashioning old garments is a skill with which both of us will soon become well acquainted, I am sure.”

  “A woman of your station might be better suited to the work of a nanny or governess,” Aunt Amelia suggested.

  Her counsel gave Lavonia hope. “Certainly. Why, I was planning to do such work for Jane, in any event.”

  “Then why not pursue that?” Aunt Amelia asked.

  Lavonia shook her head. “She is unable to pay me. And since I must support both Katherine and myself, I am afraid I must take paid employment.” She cast her aunt a pleading look. “Could you let me stay with you, just until I find work? Then Katherine and I could both move out.”

  “Oh, to have a family member reduced to such!” Helen wailed.

  “I agree,” Katherine said. “Only the poor and destitute, with nowhere else to turn, should have to be reduced to common work.”

  “I am not ashamed to do honest work. One’s station is a poor substitute for leg of mutton to fill one’s stomach and coal to keep one’s feet warm.” Lavonia sighed. “I confess, working in London was not my plan. But as I told Helen, perhaps it is God’s intention for me.”

  “How can you say that about a loving God?” asked Katherine. “Why would He let you sink so low, when you say you are His servant?”

  “Know you nothing about the life of Jesus?” Lavonia challenged her. “God never promised a life of luxury and ease for His servants. Even His own Son lived well below what should have been his place in the world.”

  Chastened, Katherine remained silent, but Aunt Amelia was not so shy. “I must beg to differ. God sent Jesus as an example to us. But that does not mean we should suffer!” A huff escaped her lips. “My dearly departed father did not earn his fortune so I would be forced to live like a common house maid. Before Joseph became my financial manager, my hands were never dirty. I ate the finest food money could buy. I had so many friends, my house was full of merriment both day and night. But now, all of that is gone. I have not had a new dress made in two years. I eat pea soup for supper.” Her eyes roved over Lavonia and Kitty. “And I look for help among my nieces, and I am weary of labor I was never meant to do.”

  “Weary, already?” Katherine asked. “But I thought your maid just left.”

  “Whatever gave you such a notion? Why, she has been gone for over a year.”

  Lavonia saw Katherine’s and Helen’s mouths drop open in shock. Uneasiness caused her own stomach to roil. Oblivious to the fact she had revealed her own deceit, their aunt continued, “Her departure was fortuitous, in reality. I was planning to fire her in any event, to save money.”

  “So you never planned to hire anyone else,” Katherine’s observation was spoken softly, a revelation to herself that required no response.

  “I know your plight seems grim,” Lavonia said to her aunt, “but certainly there are people in worse circumstances.”

  “The concerns of the heathen poor matter little to me. I am not like them.” She tilted her chin in a prideful manner. “I have been on the membership roster at church for over fifty years.”

  Helen interjected, “Everyone knows you are a good person, Aunt Amelia.”

  “Then why did God let me lose my fortune?” Her eyes widened in puzzlemen
t.

  After pausing for a moment of contemplation, Helen bowed her head. “I wish I knew.”

  Aunt Amelia’s eyes bored into Lavonia. “What about you? Surely you can offer me an answer.”

  “I can offer you only Scripture, our Lord’s inspired Word.” Though she didn’t have an instant to pray, The Holy Spirit answered her unspoken cry. “Do you remember the parable in the twelfth chapter of Luke about the rich man who built more and more barns to store all his goods?”

  “Yes. So he could retire.” Aunt Amelia’s voice became enthusiastic. “How I would love to rest, and not burden this weary body any more!” Her gaze passed over the blank faces of three young women. “You will know one day, what it is like to be old and tired.”

  “If that is the Lord’s will,” Lavonia added. “But the Bible does not promise anyone a long life, as that parable shows. ‘But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.’ ”

  The words were barely uttered before their aunt responded. “I have always given money to the church, and what was my thanks? To lose my fortune. And if that were not enough, He’s taken my youth and energy along with it.”

  “But, Auntie,” Katherine protested. “You are still ever so popular! Why, think of the last letter you wrote to us. All the feasts, dancing, and parties—”

  “The feasts give me indigestion, the dancing gives me sore feet, and the parties run too far into the night for me to get a decent night’s rest,” she complained. “The world is for the young and rich. I am no longer either.”

  “So use this time to draw closer to the Lord,” suggested Lavonia.

  “When He has taken everything from me? No. God abandoned me, because He did not care for me. I see no need to warm the church pew.” Satisfied that she had made her point, Aunt Amelia lifted her nose into the air.

  “He has not abandoned you,” Lavonia argued.

  Aunt Amelia didn’t flinch. “What do you know of life? You are still a babe.”

  “Perhaps. But I can pray for you.”

  Her face hardened into a disagreeable pose. “I do not request your prayers.”

  “But you cannot stop me from praying for you.”

  Her aunt looked angry. “Do not waste your time.”

  “My time is the Lord’s. I shall pray as I feel His calling.” Already Lavonia knew her first prayer would be for her aunt to understand Him.

  ❧

  “There you are,” Lavonia said to her sister the following day upon finding her in the kitchen. Katherine was wearing her oldest housedress underneath an apron that had seen better days. “Whatever are you doing?”

  “Betsy said she would teach me how to make beeswax candles.”

  Lavonia thought about the feisty bees Luke kept. They provided the household with delicious honey, although some-times at a price. “Be careful not to get stung.”

  “Oh, she has already collected the wax.” Katherine chuckled. “I just hope Betsy keeps the soap-making chores to herself.” Katherine grimaced. Extending her soft, unlined hands, she gave them a loving look and sighed. “I am loathe to possess the hands of a common scrub woman.”

  “No matter what work you face, rubbing a little chicken grease each day will keep them smooth.”

  “So my hands can smell as bad as they look, I suppose.” Katherine wrinkled her nose. Letting out a resolute sigh, she dropped her hands to her side. “So why were you looking for me?”

  “I was wondering if you have seen my writing paper. I must inform Jane that I will not be coming to America, after all.” Though Lavonia tried to conceal her disappointment, she knew her voice betrayed her.

  “Your writing paper?” Kitty gave her a sheepish look. “I used the last bit of it for a letter.”

  Lavonia raised an eyebrow. “A letter? To whom?”

  “Vicar Gladstone.”

  Lavonia lifted her arms in an exasperated motion. “If you really had to use my paper, I wish it could have been for better purpose.”

  Katherine chose to ignore her sister’s complaint. “Surely Helen has some you can use.”

  “An excellent suggestion. Do you know where she is?”

  “She and Luke are out with the horses.”

  Lavonia looked at the small clock positioned on the table near the fireplace. “It is early yet. I suppose they shall be gone a bit longer.”

  Katherine shrugged. “Write it later.”

  “No. I have been putting off this letter for too long. Surely Helen will not mind if I borrow a sheet of her writing paper.”

  Lavonia strode briskly up the stairs to the study situated opposite one of the guest bedchambers. The heavy oak door let out a protesting creak as she entered the hideaway.

  The room, decorated in gold and green, was still except for the steady ticking of a grandfather clock. Shelves stocked with old textbooks, works of Shakespeare, and the flighty novels Helen enjoyed, lined the walls. The mahogany secretary Luke and Helen shared was tidy. Lavonia was confident she could find the paper she sought with ease. The top of the desk served as temporary storage for the week’s unanswered correspondence, along with two periodicals and the day’s newspaper.

  Seeing no writing paper, she opened the largest drawer, just beneath the desk top. Clucking her tongue in disappointment when writing paper did not make itself readily apparent, she rifled through a stack of stored papers, trying to disturb them as little as possible in hopes of finding the writing paper she sought at the bottom of the pile.

  Her search had not ended when she spotted a name that caught her attention. “Philemon Midas.” She paused to think. Where have I heard that name? A sudden realization met her. Philemon Midas! Why, he’s William’s benefactor.

  Curiosity overcoming her, Lavonia extracted the document from the rest of the papers. “Deed of sale,” she read. Scan-ning the deed, Lavonia discovered it was the paperwork for the sale of her own house in Dover. To her shock, the price paid for the house was ten thousand pounds more than her uncle had said the property brought.

  That’s more than enough for passage to America! How could Uncle Joseph keep that money from me? And even more puzzling, how could the house have sold to William’s benefactor?

  Pausing to contemplate what she had just seen, Lavonia had a startling thought.

  Can it be that William’s benefactor is still alive?

  eleven

  Lavonia wondered what she should do. For the next few moments, she fantasized about confronting Luke, and what his answer might be. Lavonia’s hands were shaking as she restored the documents to their original place. Asking Luke about it would avail naught, surely. He had simply taken the papers from her uncle for safekeeping. She doubted he knew Philemon Midas, or his connection to William. And certainly Helen would know nothing.

  Too distraught to write to Jane, Lavonia tiptoed out of the study, closed the door behind her, and retreated to her bedchamber. She resolved to pray for guidance. Sitting on the side of her bed, her feet dangling from its high side, she prayed. Closing her eyes in further contemplation, she found no call to action. The Lord seemed to be telling her to wait.

  But I don’t want to wait, Lord. Why must I wait to find the answer?

  Sighing, Lavonia bowed her head. Lord, does this mean You wish me to stay here? Or are You simply testing my faith, to see if I will remain your servant regardless of whether I have a lot or a little?

  At that moment, she felt led to open the Bible she clutched in both hands. She had heard from reliable sources that John Wesley sought answers to life’s problems by opening his Bible at random, looking for the Lord’s leading. She decided to do likewise.

  Her Bible opened to the sixth chapter of Paul’s first letter to Timothy. Starting with the fifth verse, she read:

  But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can ca
rry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

  She thought about the words, wondering if the financial loss was a test of her faith.

  “But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare.” Despite her best efforts not to pass judgment, those words brought to mind her uncle. Had her money tempted him to steal? Was she guilty for the mere possession of wealth? Had she been poor, her fortune would not have tempted her uncle.

  Well, she resolved, she would have the answer, and soon. Although she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face the truth.

  ❧

  “A fine day this is, indeed,” William said as he guided the carriage down the country lane.

  “Indeed.” Lavonia breathed a whiff of spring air, scented by delicate blossoms on the trees and shrubs they passed. A light shower had given way to soft sunshine, resulting in a pale blue sky dotted with fluffy clouds. Though she wanted to ask William about his benefactor, she found herself un-willing to mar the pleasure of their journey together.

  “And so much the better in the company of such a lady.”

  “Such a flatterer you are!” She felt her cheeks grow warm. “You should have been at worship with me this morning. The vicar preached a sermon on Proverbs.”

  William flashed her a teasing smile. “And what did the good vicar say?”

  “He quoted Proverbs 26:28. ‘A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.’ ”

  “I confess neither to flattery nor to lying.” He took his eyes from the road long enough to shoot her a teasing look. “Unless you, Miss Penn, are indeed no lady.”