Tonight and Forever

by Brenda Jackson

  Their eyes met. Justin’s expression was one of genuine concern and caring. Lorren’s lids lowered. “I—I can manage, but…” She swallowed deeply. “I don’t have anything else to put on.”

  “Don’t worry about that. I’ll find something.” He tenderly caressed her cheek. “Everything’s going to be all right.”

  The touch of Justin’s finger on her skin brought a sensation of warm security. His eyes held hers with mesmerizing intensity.

  “I’ll leave you alone. Everything you need should be in there,” he said, indicating the bathroom.

  She nodded.

  “I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.” He stood and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

  Lorren felt totally drained, both mentally and physically. Justin’s voice had been kind, almost loving. Sighing deeply, she stood to go into the bathroom.

  In the living room, Justin paced the floor from one end to the other. After a while, he sat on the sofa, with his elbows resting on his thighs and his hands clasped loosely between his knees. He stared thoughtfully into space.

  What was there about the storm that had frightened her so much to have driven her out into it? And what was it that she didn’t want to remember?

  When he heard Lorren moving about in the other room, he decided to fix something hot and soothing for her to drink. She’d need it after being out in the weather.

  Lorren came out of the bathroom, securely wrapped in one of Justin’s oversize bath towels. She was glad the storm had subsided. Entering the bedroom, she saw a Houston Texans T-shirt lying on the bed. Discarding the towel, she slipped into the big shirt. Her slender form was swallowed by it as it fell past her knees.

  She glanced around the room. Shades of sable brown, black, and tan filled it with masculine strength and sensuality.

  Above the king-size bed hung a colossal African painting depicting intricate expressions of cultural pride. Numerous pieces of artwork by various African-American artists adorned the other walls in the room. A tall bookcase stood on one side, neatly filled to capacity with books, carvings, and figurines.

  Like a kid turned loose in the toy department, she padded barefoot to the bookcase for a closer look. She was impressed with Justin’s collection of Buffalo Soldier figurines honoring the elite band of black soldiers who served in the Union Army over a century ago. She could tell the figurines had been skillfully hand-painted.

  Lorren knew she should go out to the living room and face Justin. But at the moment she couldn’t cope with an explanation. She wondered what he thought of her? Did he think she was a madwoman for being out in the storm? A soft knock sounded on the door, interrupting her thoughts.

  “Lorren?”

  “Yes, come in. I’m dressed.”

  Justin entered the room. “I’ve brought you something hot to drink, love.” He handed her the cup.

  Love? Lorren tossed the word of endearment about in her mind. Love, baby, honey, sweetheart, sugar, darling—all were words Scott had used all the time without any particular significance. “Thanks, and I know you’re wondering why I was out in the storm…”

  “We’ll talk later. Right now I want you to take a swallow of that. It’ll warm you up a bit.”

  Nodding, she took a sip, then frowned.

  Justin grinned sheepishly at her. “I put some whiskey in it. After being out in this weather, you need it.”

  Lorren smiled back, then took another sip.

  “You should try to get some sleep. I’ll be out in the living room.”

  “I can’t take your bed. I’m all right now. I’ll go back to—”

  “No. You’re more than welcome to stay here. The sofa will do me just fine. Try getting some rest. We’ll talk some more in the morning.” Turning, he started out of the door.

  “Justin?”

  He turned around. “Yes?”

  “Thanks.”

  He smiled. “Anytime.” He closed the door behind him.

  Lorren finished the rest of her drink and placed the cup on the nightstand. She then pushed the covers back and slid into the roomy bed, settling comfortably. The clean masculine scent of Justin clung to the sheets, pillows, and bedcovers. She found safety and warmth in the manly fragrance. Shifting her head on the pillow, she was soon sound asleep.

  Lying on the sofa in the darkened living room, Justin studied the closed door. “I’m glad one of us can sleep,” he muttered, shifting positions again. He tried not to think about the transparency of Lorren’s wet nightclothes when she’d first arrived, or her in his bed with his T-shirt as her only piece of clothing. Much to his dismay, the thoughts made his pulse race, and a shiver rippled through him.

  His mind then voiced the questions it had earlier. What had driven her out in the storm? And what was it she didn’t want to remember? Did either have anything to do with that creep she’d been married to? Whatever was bothering her, she was enduring her own private storm.

  Justin willed himself to be patient. He would get answers to his questions tomorrow. Pounding his pillow into a more comfortable shape, he turned over, hoping he’d be able to get some sleep.

  In the deep recesses of her dream-ravaged sleep, Lorren struggled to free herself from her dream, crying out at the fear holding her in its grip. Thrashing about, she kicked her covers aside.

  “Lorren,” a gentle masculine voice called out to her. She felt strong arms engulfing her. Slowly her heart slowed its wild race. Forcing her eyes open, she saw that Justin was with her. He was half-kneeling, half-bending at her bedside. Tightening her arms she clung to him, her body ripped by uncontrollable spasms.

  Justin’s hands stroked her hair, back, and shoulders. “It’s all right, sweetheart,” he whispered softly as she became calmer. “You were having a bad dream. It’s okay. I wasn’t far away.”

  Lorren tried to stop trembling. Tonight she’d had a full-blown replay of that night eighteen years ago, when her world had come to an end. “Oh, Justin,” she whispered against his throat. “I relived that night.”

  He kissed the tears from her eyes. “What night?”

  “The night my parents left me.” Her voice broke slightly. “It was a night very much like tonight. We were having the worst thunderstorm I’d ever seen. I was eight years old and had gone to bed. My parents had gone out for the evening and had left me in the care of a baby-sitter.”

  She paused to catch her breath. “The thunder couldn’t smother the sound of the doorbell ringing later that night. I got up and saw two policemen talking to my baby-sitter. I overheard them telling her my parents had been killed in a car accident on the way home.”

  She trembled at the memory. “I screamed and, before anyone could stop me, I ran out into the storm.”

  Justin tenderly stroked her hair. His heart went out to the child who’d overheard such shocking news. He could just imagine her emotional turmoil. “Where did you go?”

  She shrugged. “Nowhere in particular. I just kept running and running. It seemed I ran forever before one of the policemen caught up with me.”

  Justin held her tighter in his arms. “But tonight, when you ran out into the storm, you went somewhere, Lorren. You came here to me.” He made a move to stand. “You should try sleeping now.”

  Lorren’s hold on him tightened. “Don’t…don’t leave me, please, I don’t want to be alone. Not now.”

  Justin only hesitated a moment before slipping into bed beside her, gathering her into his arms. “Go on and get some sleep. I’m here with you.”

  Releasing a sigh, she let her eyes flutter closed, feeling safe in the arms of the man she loved.

  Justin forced himself to remain still while he held Lorren. Perspiration formed on his forehead. He was fighting a feverish desire to make love to her. The memory of the erotic dream he’d been having moments before she’d arrived didn’t help matters.

  A moan got trapped in his throat when she shifted positions in his arms, bringing a firm flat stomach and full breasts ag
ainst him. His fingers itched to lift up the T-shirt and explore every part of her body, beginning with the very essence of her womanhood.

  He closed his eyes, as if doing so would shut her from his mind as well as from his sight, and would bring his thoughts under control. Even though this was definitely the place for what he longed to do to her, now was certainly not the time. The last thing she needed was to be taken advantage of.

  He opened his eyes seconds later. Tonight would be a long night. A very long night.

  Consciousness slowly infiltrated Lorren’s mind, and her eyes gradually opened. Justin was lying next to her, asleep. His hand was resting on the curve of her hip, and her head was cradled against his shoulder. She could feel the taut hardness of one of his legs, which was thrown over hers.

  She lay perfectly still for a moment as memories of her dream came flooding back. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in Justin’s arms.

  Swallowing nervously, she fixed her eyes on the man who held her securely in his warm embrace. To wake up in his arms gave her a deep feeling of warmth and contentment, but it didn’t completely erase her uneasiness.

  Justin stirred slightly. His eyes suddenly flickered open and held hers. That one instant of eye contact jolted Lorren, making her heart take a perilous leap, and spurring a heated sensation in the pit of her stomach. He continued to stare at her, his fixed gaze like a soft caress. She could feel the touch of that gaze and tried to throttle back the dizzying current racing through her.

  Desire, the likeness of which she’d never known, rose in her like the hottest fire, clouding her mind and heating the soft core of her body. It was as if his eyes were casting a spell on her, bewitching her senses. She was transfixed, mesmerized by a fascination so overwhelming, so overpowering, it acted like a catalyst destroying her self-restraint.

  Accepting her dilemma was both frightening and exhilarating, and with the steamy mist floating around her, from whence there was no escape, she faced the truth. She wanted to make love with him. All her uncertainties melted into a driving need to discover what lay ahead in an intimate union.

  They continued to stare at each other it seemed for the longest time. Then Justin’s mouth captured hers. He kissed her softly at first, a series of slow, shivery kisses. Suddenly, he began smothering her lips with demanding mastery and pulled her closer to him.

  Her mouth opened invitingly, accepting his probing tongue. Her surrender was instantaneous as she returned his urgent searing kisses. She kissed him in all the ways he had ever kissed her.

  Justin inwardly berated himself for coming on so fast and so strong, but he didn’t want to give her the chance to think about anything except what was taking place between them.

  His hands sought the hem of the oversize T-shirt, and, breaking the kiss, he gently pulled it up and over her head, removing it completely. He quickly resumed kissing her.

  Lorren moaned in his mouth when his finger traced a line around her navel before slowly moving upward to her breasts. His hands tenderly cupped their fullness. In one smooth movement, his tongue replaced his fingers on her breasts, bringing their dark tips to crested peaks.

  Moments later, she uttered a small cry of pleasure when his hands were on the move again, gliding over her, as though obsessed with knowing every line of her body.

  He stroked her back and shoulders, squeezed her behind, and spanned her waist and thighs. When his hand moved lower to the very essence of her, little whimpers of pleasure escaped her throat, only to be captured by his mouth.

  Lorren’s mind was whirling. Sensations she’d never felt before tore through her body. All she could think about was the feel of his sensual mouth and hands on her, making her tremble with a foreign need.

  She became totally lost in a blaze of passion and gave herself over to all the things he was making her feel. She forgot everything except Justin and his touch. She couldn’t think of anything else.

  “Stop me now if you don’t want things to go any further. Because if you don’t, I won’t be able to stop later. I want you too much, Lorren.”

  Each word he spoke sounded like a caress, an erotic stroke. Lorren wanted him, too. She couldn’t deny she was aching with a need to be possessed by him.

  “Tell me, Lorren. Tell me what you want me to do.”

  She answered, whispering in his ear, “I want you to make love to me.”

  Justin didn’t realize until that very moment how much he longed to hear those words from her. Standing, he removed his pajama bottoms, his eyes never leaving hers.

  Moments later he was completely naked. His rich brown body was totally male, totally splendid, and, at the moment, totally aroused…for her.

  He sought out her lips when he rejoined her in bed, pulling her to him. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Lorren. From the first moment I saw you that night, I wanted you,” he breathed hotly against her ear.

  He kissed and caressed every inch of her body. She became a writhing mass of red-hot passion from the heat his touch generated. He was losing himself in a sensual whirlwind, but knew he had to take the necessary steps so there wouldn’t be any regrets later. He tore his lips from hers. “Baby, are you protected?”

  She shook her head, answering in a breathless whisper as shivers coursed through her. “I—I, there was never a need…”

  Justin reached into a drawer of the nightstand and withdrew a small foil packet. “I’ll protect you,” he said huskily.

  Lorren trembled with the force of her emotions as she watched him prepare himself for her. A short while later he came back to her. Their limbs automatically tangled, all control lost.

  Lorren’s passion-engulfed mind felt his knees nudge open her thighs, his hand parting her, his body moving over her, and the hardness of him probing at the heat of her, pressing downward and slowly penetrating her. She sucked in her breath at the sheer size of him.

  She cried out his name the moment their bodies became one. The fullness and strength of him was deep inside her, and she curved her body receptively.

  “Are you all right, love?” he asked tenderly, giving her body time to adjust to him. Her body felt hot and tight.

  She smiled up at him, her face damp with perspiration. “I’ve never felt so alive, so filled with wanting, so filled with need…”

  “Neither have I,” he rasped.

  Placing a kiss on her lips, he slowly and gently began moving within her, setting an erotic rhythm.

  Lorren wrapped her legs around him. Her lips moved reflexively, keeping time with his movements as he burrowed deeper and deeper inside her. His tongue, seeking hers, matched the rhythm of their bodies.

  Justin murmured softly in her ear with each sensual stroke into her body. He told her how good her mouth tasted, how wonderful she felt to him, and just how incredible she was making him feel.

  “Explosive,” he breathed against her lips. “You’re explosive, sweetheart. I can’t get enough of you. Baby, you are completely blowing my mind.”

  The feel of Lorren moving beneath him brought on memories of the night of Ms. Nora’s party, when he’d watched her on the dance floor, moving her body to the sound of the music. He could feel the increasing tempo of her hips moving to meet his every stroke, beat for beat. Her sighs and moans were music to his ears, a sensuously sweet melody that caused one feverish sensation after another to overtake him.

  “I don’t think I can handle too much more of this,” he said, groaning, fighting for control. He pushed harder and deeper into the moist, clinging heat of her. “Baby, you’re too much.”

  Lorren’s senses were on overload and his words, spoken in a guttural groan, pushed her over the edge. She gripped his shoulders and dug her nails into his skin, feeling his muscles strain and tighten against her hands. With all the strength she could muster, she kept up with him and his vigorous pace. Each hard, powerful stroke into her body was intense, ecstatic, complete. She gave just the response his body demanded, making their movements more wild and feverish.<
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  “You’re perfect.” Justin breathed the words into her mouth as he surged forward one last time. His cry of satisfaction muffled against her mouth the moment his body bucked and spasmed with his release.

  Their passion encompassed them. Together they scaled the heights of ecstasy, becoming one in body and soul.

  Lorren cried.

  She couldn’t stop the tears flowing down her cheeks and the hard sobs shaking her body.

  Justin cradled her face between his hands, alarmed. “Baby…Lorren, sweetheart. What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

  Lorren lifted her tear-stained face to meet him. The expression in his eyes showed such open concern and tenderness. It made her cry even more.

  He gathered her closer to him as she wept, crying her heart out in harsh, racking sobs that shook her body.

  “Please, Lorren. Answer me. Did I hurt you?”

  “I—I never…I never knew anything could—could be so…so beautiful,” she cried brokenly. “I never knew I—I could feel that way. Or that—that I could make anyone feel the way you—you said I made you feel.” She turned her face into his bare chest. “Oh, Justin, I never knew.”

  Justin expelled a ragged breath. He was glad her tears weren’t from any physical pain he’d inflicted. But he knew of the emotional pain Syneda had hinted at—the one caused by her ex-husband. He wanted her to share that pain with him, so he could help rid her of it.

  “Talk to me, Lorren. You’ve been married before. How could you not have known?”

  Lorren raised tear-filled eyes to him. “Scott told me I—I was a failure in bed. He said I was lacking. And until a few minutes ago,” she whispered brokenly, “until we made love, I—I was certain it was the truth. But he lied, Justin. He lied to me. How could he have hurt me that way?”

  Justin hugged her tightly to him. “Oh, sweetheart, the only one who has an answer to that question is him. Chances are he lied to hide his own feelings of failure. It wasn’t you who was lacking, but him. Instead of admitting that to himself, he found it easier to cast the blame on you.”